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Akechi woke up to the smell of pancakes. Uh oh. He threw on an ill-fitting shirt and wandered out into the living room to find Ren. A pancake flipped perfectly in the pan, and Ren turned to greet him with a sunny smile and a “kiss the cook” apron. “Good morning! These’ll be ready in a minute. You’ve got coffee on the table.”
Akechi raised an eyebrow in doubt but sat at the table all the same. Raising the cup to his nose, he took a small sniff. It smelled damn good. Finding it unnecessary to resist, he took a sip. It was damn good. What an asshole.
A minute later, as advertised, Ren walked over with two plates of pancakes with sides of sausage. They were served with whipped cream, strawberries, and maple syrup. Akechi could hardly contain his desire and so immediately began to dig in. They sat quietly, enjoying their pancakes. At one point, Akechi looked up and found Ren staring at him fondly.
“What? Found something you like?”
“You could say that, yeah,” Ren smiled.
“Could?”
“I might say something different if we were different people.”
Akechi scoffed, “what the hell does that mean?”
“Meh, who cares? Did you enjoy the pancakes?” Ren asked.
Akechi looked down at his empty plate. “They were fine.”
“And the coffee? Fine too?”
“Yes, Ren. Your cooking was acceptable. Can we move on?”
“Just making sure, just making sure,” Ren stood, kissing Akechi once on the forehead before washing their dishes. “I love seeing you in my clothes by the way. It’s adorable.”
“Oh, damn it. This is yours? What was it doing on my side?” Akechi grumbled.
“Ask the person who does the laundry, not me.”
“Hmph.”
“How could you not tell? Everything you own is fit for court. I barely see you in baggy clothes, although I have to say I love you in them.”
“Alright, alright,” Akechi huffed. “No need to brag.”
“Wanna watch something when I’m done?” Ren asked over the running water.
“Sure,” Akechi planted himself on the couch in front of the TV.
“Any ideas?”
“Meh, your pick. I don’t really care.”
“Sounds good,” Ren shut the water off and joined Akechi on the couch, nestling in behind him. Akechi instinctively put his head down on his lap, and Ren slid a hand through his hair. “How about this?”
“Looks fine.”
Ren pressed play on some random comedy show and they began to watch. The show was mid, entirely unimpressive to Akechi, although Ren seemed to be having some fun. He looked up from his lap and saw Ren’s smile, brilliant in the rising sun. Something in his chest seized like a heart attack and he clutched it close. It faded away instantly, but Akechi still stood.
“Bathoom,” he mumbled, stepping away. A few minutes later, he came back, standing in the doorway. “Ren. I’m going to ask you something, but I don’t think you’re going to like it.”
“I never do, do I?”
“No, I mean it. You are really not going to like it.”
“Fuck. What is it?”
Akechi held his hands in front of him, angled outwards, and sharpened his fingers like they were talons, pointed nails at the end. “This is it, Ren. There’s no coming back after this. I hope you’re ready.” He plunged both sets of nails into his chest and tore it open, spilling blood onto the floor. The hole was larger this time, but the effect was the same, a gray mass bathed in gray light, floating inside.
Ren stumbled backwards, nauseous. “Akechi, no,” he pleaded.
“Ren,” Akechi shook his hand. “Do you trust me?”
“Don’t… Please don’t make me. Is it something I—”
“No, no. Please Ren,” he put a hand on Ren’s shoulder. “Please, just do it. It’s gonna be okay. I promise you.”
Breathing through his teeth, Ren shut his eyes tight, and slowly reached a hand forward. It was in his grasp before he knew it, frightening him like touching something wet in the dark. But it was not wet, nor soft like a heart. When he wrapped his fingers around it, it was hard. Then, when he tried to pull, it wouldn’t budge. No matter what he did, it wouldn’t come out.
“I knew it,” Akechi spoke under his breath as Ren gave up. “I knew it. It’s like I said: there’s no coming back.”
“Wha? I don’t—”
“I’m sorry for that Ren. I would have done it another way if I could, but, funnily enough, it’ll only open for you. By the way, if there's blood in the bathroom sink, that’s why.”
“Please, Akechi. What’s going on?” Ren asked, clenching his fingers.
“It’s calcified. Ishiki-san wrote about it. If a distorted desire somehow comes true, the heart will calcify. For years I thought mine was about killing Shido— you have no idea how mad I was when it didn’t change after I shot him— but I was wrong.”
“You…?”
“It was this. Pancakes bathed in the sunrise. My own place to live, paid for no one but me. You. Waking up to see you. Bed head and in casual clothes. It was only distorted in how I planned on achieving it. And in that I couldn’t even recognize it when it stared me in the face. That’s kinda funny, isn’t it?”
Ren stared blankly into space for a second, and Akechi began to hear a faint buzzing in his ear. It ceased though, immediately, when Ren grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. He’d only felt one tighter, Christmas day in Shibuya, and supposed that was acceptable. Akechi returned the effort, and wrapped his arms around Ren.
“Ren.”
“Oh, sorry. Too much?” He pulled away.
“No. I am about to say something I’m only going to say once. Get ready.”
“Wha–”
“I love you. I am in love with you,” Akechi admitted, just as loud as he needed to. “There, I hope you enjoyed.”
Ren’s mouth fell open, hanging limply like a piñata. He swallowed big time, and tried to catch his words. “There’s.. There’s no way. There is no god damn way you said it first!”
“You snooze, you lose,” Akechi shrugged, pulling away. “Just one more way that I edge you out.”
“Well fuck me!” Ren cried. “I love you too! I am in love with you too!”
“You’re just compensating for a loss,” Akechi smirked.
“Oh, god I’m ruined. I should’ve just said it when I first thought it.”
“Oh? When was that?” Akechi leaned forward smugly.
“I love you: that night in Kabukicho. I’m in love with you: the sunrise on the 18th,” Ren recounted.
“Ugh, damn. Those are good ones,” Akechi groaned.
“Come on, you’ve gotta give yours now.”
“Fine, fine. The… first one: When we kissed that first time. The second: Hah. The moment before I shot you in the head. ‘It’s no wonder I can’t seem to stop myself from…’ loving you.”
“Oh, wow.”
“Yep. Fitting, right?
“Sure is,” Ren sat down on the couch and smiled, looking out the window. “I love you Akechi.”
“Yeah. Me too.”