Chapter Text
It’s the day of the Artemis II launch into space, you’re filled with so much adrenaline it’s almost radiating off of you. You guys had to board the ship very early in the morning, so most of the crew was very groggy upon boarding, not to mention all the paparazzi and cameras everywhere trying to capture every moment. It’s chaos at first, your body is sore from all the pre-launch training, having to put on all of that heavy gear, having to sit in a nearly bite-sized capsule for 10 DAYS, things really aren’t looking too bright for you. That is until everything is completely settled, the crew is closed into the capsule awaiting take off, and then you see her. Christina has always been your role model ever since her nearly year-long mission in space, you’ve always aspired to be just like her. She’s incredibly smart(not to mention the only professional on this mission), she makes you feel safe, even though you’ve only known her for about 10 minutes at this point, but you feel safe anyways because after this mission, you guys will be like family.
You’ve also been questioning your sexuality for quite some time now. Yes, you’ve dated boys, girls, and everything in between , but nothing is clicking yet. All of those past flings have ended in disaster every time, and you honestly just begin to wonder if love is even for you at all. You’re just sitting in a small area of the ship waiting for take off, blood pressure through the roof, you’re clearly deep into your head. And then you hear a voice.
“Hey! I’m Christina, it’s so nice to finally meet you and the crew. I’ve been looking forward to this since I was assigned! what’s your name?”
It’s her. It’s Christina. You keep your cool and try to keep your facial expressions vague. “Oh hi! My name is _____ ______, I’m a beginner mission specialist. I’ve been looking forward to this day since forever. I’m really honored to be going on this mission with you, you’ve been my role model for the longest time and this just feels very surreal.” You gave your best attempt at a formal greeting, considering Christina is twice your age. She puts a hand over her heart and smiles a smile so bright it makes you zone out a bit.
“Oh my goodness, thank you so much! If you want you can just hang by my side for the mission? I could teach you a lot, and you could help with the data collection! Also don’t worry, this won’t be 100% work. We will have much fun, as a team.” She holds out her hand for you to shake, it takes you a while to process, but you shook it. It was awkwardly silent after that so Christina decided to break the ice and get the team well acquainted.
“Hey! Come with me, I’m gonna take you to the rest of the crew.”
She takes you to this obscenely tiny room, where there are 3 other men, they all look like super important people and it intimidates you, given you’re just a beginner.
“Everyone, I’d like you to meet _____. She must be the new mission specialist every one was talking about. She was just huddled up in the corner and I brought her to say hi!” Christina is so enthusiastic. You wave sheepishly at the 3 men and they introduce themselves one by one.
“Hello ____, I’m Reid Weisman, and I’m the commander on this team, I hope we have a great time together on this journey!” He holds his hand out, you smile and shake hands. You look to your left and there’s a taller man who seems to be working on something, he turns around and he also introduces himself. “So nice to finally meet you ______. I’m Victor Glover, the pilot on this mission. I heard you must be the new mission specialist, we will try to make this experience as enjoyable as possible for you!” He leans in for a hug, which you accept because you’re pretty sure it’d be rude not to, and right now is all about first impressions. The last guy, he practically launched his hand in front of you while introducing himself. “Hello! I’m Jeremy Hansen! Another mission specialist. It’s so nice to meet you, also me and Reid are the fun ones on this mission, Christina and Vic are both duds.” He says while shooting them a playful grimace. “You should stick with us, we work and we have fun!” Jeremy is smiling so hard his eyes nearly disappear. “Alright, I’m fun! I just prioritize my work. You really should do the same” Victor rolls his eyes playfully, and walks away.
“Put a cork in it, Jeremy. She’s already my mission partner. You guys just clown around 95 percent of the time, and call it “work”, please.” She laughs a bit and turns back toward you. You’ve always been fond of her rapid fire comebacks, and it just draws you closer and closer. “Don’t listen to that cone head, we’ll get more work done than them and we’ll have way much more fun than them. I’d honestly say I’m the funniest in here” she tuts her chin up condescendingly and you laugh at the sight. She’s so giggly, and pretty, and mesmerizing, and you’re just..drawn.
You don’t know exactly what it is that’s making you so attracted to a woman that’s old enough to be your mother,
but you try not to look to much into the facts, and just enjoy your time with them.
The ship is getting ready for take off, you hear a bunch or indistinct chattering outside, cameras flashing, people shouting, this all feels like one big dream for you. And once this ship lifts off of the ground. There is no going back.
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As you guys lifted from the earth, it felt like your heart was sinking deeper. With every foot off the ground, the deeper your heart dropped. You stare out of the window of the rocket ship, immediately second guessing everything. But this was your dream. Not only to become an astronaut, but to work alongside your role model. And speaking of, she suddenly pops up behind you to talk.
“Whatcha doing over here all alone? You don’t wanna sit with us?” Her eyes are filled with hurt as she speaks, and it only makes you feel like crap. You look up from the window and respond through a partially broken voice, “I’m fine, I’m just..scared. I’ve never done this before, I’m excited don’t get me wrong, but what if we don’t make it back? I miss my family already, my phones losing its reception so I can’t even call and update them, I’m just very anxious, I’ll be fine in a second.” You exhale shakily and rest your head between your knees. You fully expected Christina to turn and walk away, but instead, she sits directly next to you.
She puts her hand on your shoulder and says with the utmost sincerity, “if you want I can just stay here until you feel better, you’re my mission partner, and if you’re not okay, I’m not okay. Were in this together, quite literally,”
She grabs both of your hands and holds onto them firmly. “and if we don’t make it, at least we made history, and at least we’ve inspired many others to achieve their dreams in space.” She punctuates her last sentence with a tight squeeze to your hands. You feel lighter than before and at ease. “Thank you Christina, honestly, I want to make history just like you have, and I’ll for sure make history, even if I…don’t make it back.” You crack a weak smile, and Christina just stares at you.
“Can I give you a hug? You look like you really need one. And if I’m being honest, I need one right now too.” That same look of hurt refills her gaze and she slowly lets go of your hands. You take a minute to process the question, also silently admiring her features, before you finally stand up. “Yes please, I also need a hug. Thank you so much, Christina, genuinely.” You both stand and share a nice warm heartfelt hug, that continued for about a minute and a half, before she slowly snakes her hands away from your torso. “You can call me Christi, by the way. When people address me by my full name it makes me feel old.” She says, a small grin appearing on her face. “I think I’m ready to sit with the rest of the crew now, I wonder what they are up to.” You try to break the obvious tension in the area. Christina nods, agreeing to the plan before you both go to the other half of the capsule.
On the other half of the capsule, there’s Jeremy, Reid, and Victor. They were having a conversation, that came to an abrupt stop when you and Christina enter.
“There they are, it’s about time, we’re just about to exit the atmosphere!” Jeremy pretty much screamed. Christina hastily grabs hold of your wrist and walks over to the boys. “Do you want to sit near the window next to me, Or would you rather be alone? I feel like I’ve been a tad bit overbearing.” Christina turns to look you in your eyes, the pretty amber color within them making you go completely still.
“I want to sit with you, I’d be happy to sit with you.” You blurted out entirely too quickly. She flashes a smirk at you and brings you to your seat. The positions are a bit uncomfortable given the size of the capsule, so you and Christina are nearly stacked like sardines.
You look out of the window, the gradient of each ozone layer so beautiful, you don’t even notice Christina burning holes through the back of your head with her eyes. You eventually drift off to sleep, as well as the rest of the crew.
When you woke up, you found yourself nearly about to suffocate, you struggle for a few seconds to turn your body around, and when you do, you notice two long, toned arms around your shoulders and torso. You look closer at the persons face, Christina. The front of her body against yours. Your heart pounds so hard and fast, you could’ve sworn you felt your ribcage crack a bit.
your mind begins to race.
‘does she feel what she is doing?’
‘will she remember this when she wakes up?’
‘is she..a lesbian?’
’whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck’
you’ve somewhat lost sense of time. Since you’re in space now, and you’ve misplaced your phone somewhere in this damned capsule. You decide to just ignore the screaming in your brain, and you turn back to the window. Staring into nothing as you drift back to sleep.