Chapter Text
February 26, 2009 4:25 PM
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You both like hockey.
Stranger: asl
You: 13/M/CA
You: ASL?
Stranger: 13 male russia
Stranger: no camera?
You: Seemed like a bad idea.
You: You're a stranger.
Stranger: stranger but my camera on
Stranger: not fair
Stranger: you live california usa?
You: Oh, no, Canada.
You: Sorry that wasn't clear. I should have been more specific.
Stranger: wow
Stranger: say canada and then say sorry
Stranger: is like jokes
You: Like jokes about how Canadians are polite? Haha, yeah. The rumors are true.
Stranger: you are 13? my same age?
You: I am 13, yeah.
Stranger: you type like office man
Stranger: not kid
You: You type like a kid, but I assumed that was the language barrier.
Stranger: barrier what is
You: Something that keeps things away from each other.
You: Language barrier is when people speak different languages, so it's harder for them to communicate.
Stranger: communicate what is
You: Shoot, sorry again. Communicate just means talk, basically.
Stranger: basically what is
You: Basically is
typing…
typing…
typing…
You: Sorry I couldn't think of how to describe it so I had to Google and it was taking forever to load. Are you still there?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: is ok you dont tell me what means i dont need
Stranger: i was joke
Stranger: i am fucking you
You: Excuse me???
You: We are both guys, first of all, so that's ridiculous and it doesn't even make sense.
You: Second of all, I feel like you're messing with me but I don't
You: Wait, did you mean you are fucking WITH me?
Stranger: yes mr canada I am joke about teach word basically i know basically
You: Oh. Well, that was a good joke. I laughed.
Stranger: with voice or with your head?
You: Voice. I laughed out loud.
Stranger: ok. cool
Stranger: you think i am funny
You: I said you made me laugh.
Stranger: same things? both I think?
You: Not exactly but… close enough I guess. XP
Stranger: what is x p
You: An emote I learned from a friend at school. Look at it from the right side. Turn your head. It's supposed to be someone sticking their tongue out and scrunching their eyes shut.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: i learn
Stranger: i show?
You: An emote? Sure!
You: I’d love to know what Russian kids my age use as emotes!
Stranger: ok
Stranger: here
Stranger: c==8
You: What face is that supposed to be?
Stranger: not face
Stranger: other body part
typing…
typing…
typing…
Stranger: penis
You: Oh my God.
You: That’s horrible! When would you even use that?
Stranger: you are funny
Stranger: i like
Stranger: have email?
You: I do, but I don’t give it to strangers, sorry!
Stranger: we talk now many words
Stranger: not strangers
Stranger: you know me
You: Um, I do not know you.
You: I don’t even know your name.
Stranger: ilya
Stranger: my name is
You: Oh. Well, hello, Ilya.
You: It’s nice to meet you. I’m still not giving you my email.
You: It has my full name, it just doesn’t feel safe.
You: How do I know you’re really my age? You could be a creepy old man.
Stranger: i have camera
Stranger: you see
You: It’s too dark, I can’t see anything.
Stranger: i fix
Stranger: you see?
You: Oh. I see.
You: Wow, you’re handsome.
You: Not in a weird way. I just wasn’t expecting it.
You: Not that I think Russians don’t look good? I don’t think I’ve even seen enough Russian people to have an opinion.
You: Obviously people from all countries can be attractive.
You: I don’t really think about that stuff. People are just people. I don’t really notice.
You: I mean, of course I notice when girls are pretty I guess.
You: And you’re handsome, sure, but just like, because obviously. It would be stupid to not acknowledge it.
You: Stop laughing at me!
You: Oh my God, STOP IT!
You: Ilya, this is so dumb. It’s been two full minutes.
You: I swear to God I will disconnect.
Stranger: camera off but i know you are kid
Stranger: dork
You: How do you know that word?
Stranger: how to say
Stranger: wait
Stranger: i google
Stranger: it occurred to me spontaneous
Stranger: You talk and it occurred
Stranger: understand?
You: Oh, so I was such a dork that you spontaneously learned the word. Through magic.
You: I understand.
You: You’re pretty rude.
Stranger: you dont disconnect?
Stranger: i rude you disconnect
You: You’re fun to talk to, I guess.
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i am fun
Stranger: you like?
You: I guess.
You: Don’t get a big head.
Stranger: head big
Stranger: all of me big
Stranger: see
You: Nice.
You: You work out? Your arms look huge.
You: Mine aren’t that big.
Stranger: show
You: I can’t, sorry.
You: Do you play any sports?
Stranger: i hockey
Stranger: you hockey?
You: Yes!! I love hockey!!!
You: You play hockey? Are you good at it?
You: Do you want to share stats?
Stranger: good fucking god in good fucking heaven
You: Wow. Your English is really good.
Stranger: you most boring for talk EVER
Stranger: is so boring
Stranger: are you joke
You: So you think I’M funny?
You: Thanks Ilya :)
Stranger: holy god
You: Hahahaha. XD
Stranger: have to go
Stranger: email?
You: I really can’t give it out, I’m sorry.
Stranger: name?
Stranger: please thank you
You: Shane.
Stranger: shane is good to meet you shane
Stranger: we talk again
You: How?
You: You have no way to find me.
Stranger: dont know but will
Stranger: promise
5:45 PM
Stranger has disconnected.