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"Okay Little Shrimpy, if I swear you to secrecy, wouldja help?" Floyd asks you.
You pause, having been in the middle of carting some books Crowley requested up from the library for him, and set the pile on top of his desk. Floyd had taken half of them, which had seemed suspiciously nice of him at the time, and he dumps his share less gently onto the headmage's empty chair.
Where Crowley's gotten to, you don't know, but it's not exactly unusual for him to dump work on you and then bail.
"You're asking for my help, but you also want me to promise not to tell anyone, is that it?" you verify.
"Yeah."
"You know swearing me to secrecy isn't somehow a prize for me, right? What's in it for me?"
"...Maybe nothin'?"
Floyd looks dismayed enough that you take pity.
"Okay, okay, how about this, I promise I won't say anything about the situation, and you can tell me what it is and ask me for help, and then I'll decide if I can do it or not," you suggest.
If it was Jade asking you'd hold your ground better, but that's probably why it's Floyd asking. You are just plain lousy at being mean to him, even though he deserves it nearly as often as Jade or Azul.
"So... Azul's, kinda... missing," Floyd tells you.
"Missing like... no one can find him under the stacks of paperwork he keeps in his office, or missing like, there's a decent chance someone drove up in an unmarked van and grabbed him while he was walking the mile for phys ed?" you check.
Floyd's miserable expression doesn't ease up. He rubs at the back of his head.
"Well that's the thing. He said he had some errands to run, and we kinda left him to it 'cause his heat's coming on and he's always cagey about stuff around this time of the year. But he usually comes back pretty quick so he can set up for it in the dorm, only, he left this morning and he's still gone..."
Okay.
That actually is pretty worrying.
"He's in heat?"
"Pre-heat. Dunno if it's started yet," Floyd confirms. "He mighta got caught out somewhere? Jade went to go check some places, and I'm gonna turn over the rest of the place in case he holed up in a weird spot. But it'd be good to have a few more pairs of eyes lookin' around."
"Who else are you asking to search for him?" you check.
"Uh... just you?"
You let out a breath, not sure if you're touched or exasperated. Maybe both.
"We should tell the faculty. He could really be in serious trouble," you reason. The entire prospect of somebody targeting Azul during his heat is doing unpleasant things to your insides.
"Nah, he's more trouble to other people when he's in heat. He'll smash people around if they try and mess with him, like BAM, WHAM! The tentacles make it preeetty hard to get the jump on him."
You raise a hand.
"Wait, you're telling me he'll turn back into his mer form for this?"
"'Course he will? What, you think we can handle being in heat and being transformed at the same time? Nah, that's too much. I'm getting nauseous just thinkin' about it," Floyd explains.
Oh goodie, and here you'd thought you'd gotten a handle on how the bizarre reproduction and secondary genders in this world work. It never occurred to you that they might nullify something like the merfolk land transformations, although it probably should have. You do know from Crewel's class that stacking transformations on top of pregnancies is bad news, stands to reason that something like a heat might also qualify.
"Is he in danger of suffocating if he's stuck on land?" you wonder. He'd probably be okay for a few hours, but if he's been missing since this morning...
"Nooo," Floyd says, to your relief. "He'll try to find water before he lets himself change, even if it's real uncomfortable."
"Then why don't we have everyone look for him?"
"Are you kiddin'? He could kill 'em!"
You give Floyd an incredulous look.
"Then he could kill me!" you point out.
"Well, yeah, he could. But he wouldn't. He likes you."
Given everything that's happened, you sincerely doubt that he likes you enough to not try and smash your brains against the wall for interrupting his heat. One of the earlier things that Ace and Deuce had impressed on you in their ad hoc sex ed class, after it had come to everyone's attention that your world didn't do the secondary gender designations stuff, was that intruding on someone during their Special Time of the Year is extremely dangerous whether they are Alpha or Omega. If they don't want you near them, they'll let you know. Violently in most cases.
Given you are a squishy human with no magic, you have taken these warnings to heart. The only experience you've had so far with heats has been Jack opting to spend his in Beast Mode, and basically just napping in Ramshackle House for a couple days to make sure none of the Savanaclaw classmates who are still salty about his 'betrayal' tried to mess with him.
You'd brought him food and water and he hadn't bitten your head off, which you'd taken to mean that Jack trusts you decently, and has excellent restraint. Things which you already knew before you agreed to let him stay over. Grim had slept propped up against Jack at one point as well, to no visible issue. Ace had explained to you that most of the students at Night Raven are Omegas, with some Betas, which apparently helps reduce the overall odds of violence because of smells or something. Alphas have to go to their own gender segregated schools.
You're still not sure you fully understand the scents thing. Multiple people have tried to explain it but the closest you got to comprehension was Crewel's attempt, where he actually kept you after class and broke out a biology textbook, and went over how Alpha and Omega noses kind of translate other people's B.O. into different sensory experiences. Which is why some of your friends describe people smelling like stuff like yuzu or coconut or sandalwood and lemon and beeswax lip balm or whatever even when they're not wearing perfume, and even when you just smell sweat.
It's a relief that your whole deal of not perceiving any of that is very similar to what people called Betas have going on in this world. You don't think you could handle it if you were the only person alive who isn't utterly convinced that Epel's post workout funk literally smells like baked apples and cinnamon.
You don't know much about the variations on the theme that merfolk have, except that they don't really do the scent stuff either. Probably not as feasible when you live underwater.
Anyway Azul, unlike some others, doesn't trust easily and can sometimes utterly lose his marbles. You like him, in fact you like him more than you probably should, but you're not a delusional optimist and Floyd sometimes is. Point is, you will take any outside assertion that he'd be fine with you coming up to him in the throes of mating season with a grain of goddamn salt.
Still...
"If I help look, what should I do if I find him?" you wonder.
"Just message me or Jade," Floyd asks. "And don't say a peep to nobody else, unless you wanna get squeezed."
"Alright, no peeps. If we don't find him before nightfall I'm alerting one of the professors, though."
"Yeah okay. I guess he'd be madder if he got stuck out somewhere overnight."
You check the time. A few hours before sundown, and as long as you don't run into Crowley again, your tasks are done for the day. You were going to study for Trein's upcoming test, but you guess you're doing this instead now.
Floyd heads off to go check some of the underwater passageways that apparently lead into the Octavinelle dorms and the lounge, while you call up a map of the grounds on your phone and consider it.
You don't know where Azul might have gone, and you assume Jade is retracing whatever paths he could have taken outside the school. If he came back and got stuck, though, there are only a few routes he'd probably have approached from, no matter where he was going. The mirror chamber, the main gates, or the rear gates.
It's closest, so you start with the mirror chamber. You're not even sure what signs you should be looking for, other than Azul himself. You ask a couple passing students if they've seen him around, but all shake their heads.
If you were an easily-embarrassed octopus on the cusp of transforming and suffering a mortifying set of bodily functions in public, where would you go...?
You check all the nearby bathrooms, storage closets, and stairwells.
When that's all a bust, you move on to searching by the back gates. Then you head down towards Main Street, or at least you mean to, just intending to pass through on your way to the front gate.
You are stopped by the sight of a fairly decent-sized body of water in the garden not too far from the statues of the Great Seven.
You don't remember a small pond being there before.
Regarding it contemplatively, you open your phone and send a message to Kalim.
You: hey Kalim, did you use Oasis Maker?
You snap a picture of the relevant mystery body of water and send it along too, for context.
Kalim: oh, yeah, that was me haha!
Damn. You were wondering if Azul might have dug a hole and filled it with a hose or something, somehow.
Kalim: Azul asked me to do it! Dunno why but it seemed urgent, so I did!
...Or he did that.
You fire back a thank you and then text Floyd, and Jade too for good measure, before pocketing your phone and cautiously approaching the edge of the DIY pool.
So it seems Azul did dig some of it out, or probably used a spell to do so. The pool's not that deep, although it's murky from the displaced garden soil around it so it's a little hard to be sure. You hope Riddle doesn't pass this way, because he'll probably have a conniption about the multiple violations of landscaping and school property rules going on.
Even though the water is murky, and even though you're kind of expecting him to be there, you're still a bit surprised to get closer and look down and see Azul staring straight back up at you from under the surface.
Yeah, that's definitely his octopus form. Cramped and deeply uncomfortable-looking, but very recognizable. His glasses are gone, and his skin is flushed deep purple, and he looks... miserable.
It must really suck to be in a hormonal tempest and trying to camp out in a muddy hole in the ground, actually. Is he breathing okay? There's a lot of dirt there. You can't imagine the 'pond' is very well oxygenated, or whatever, look you don't know a lot about fish tanks but you do know that people spend plenty of time getting them just right to keep pet fish comfortable and healthy.
You can't imagine it's a less complicated situation for an octo mer.
That's probably why you lose your mind and opt to crouch down next to the water.
"Hey buddy," you say, softly. "Don't get mad at me, okay? I'm sworn to secrecy. Jade and Floyd are on the way, we'll get you out of there and into a nice proper pool... uh. Somehow. With magic, probably. Or like a wheelbarrow or something. Hopefully with magic, that seems less uncomfortable but I don't really know how it'll work..."
Azul blinks at you. His gaze is definitely a bit 'not all there'.
You keep your voice low and as soothing as you can manage.
"Can you understand me right now? Blink twice if you can. Or once if you can. Blink? No? Don't worry about it. It'll be alright. Everything's gonna be just fine."
Azul makes a noise. It reverberates strangely through the water, kind of like a combination between a deep purr and a chitter. It makes you think of recordings of alligators that you listened to back home. You feel the vibrations from it travel up the soles of your feet, and the top of the water ripples, a few droplets bouncing on the surface.
But it doesn't sound hostile, somehow?
Even when one of Azul's tentacles snakes out of the water, the way he's moving feels cautious but not in a stalking or threatening way.
The dark limb scooches towards you.
You're still careful about it. You don't want to get grabbed into the air and then smashed against the ground like a stress toy, or something.
When the tentacle stops shy of your foot, you reach over and, because you are probably insane, you give it a gentle pat.
In your defense, Azul really does look the second most miserable you've ever seen him look right now.
His skin is wet, but it's not slimy. There's a squishy quality to the limb, probably from the lack of bones, but it's not unpleasant. Just a little weird.
"There, there," you offer. Awkwardly, because you don't actually know what you're doing, but it makes Azul purr again.
So maybe it's the right thing?
You rethink that when the tentacle suddenly moves way faster than you would expect (and really you should know better, you were there for his overblot) and grabs you by the arm, and then yanks you down into the water.
The muddy, cold water which is already pretty full of Octopus Azul to begin with.
Upside: the water is shallow enough and full enough that your head stays above the surface, which means you don't immediately have to worry about drowning. Hooray! Your phone also falls out of your pocket and onto the ground instead of getting dunked into the water with you, which is a good thing, because you do no currently have phone-replacing money.
Downside: you are now definitely being used as an octopus stress ball. Azul keeps purring as he wraps his limbs around you and squishes his face against your stomach, trapping your arms at your sides and squeezing your legs with his tentacles.
The intensity makes you worry for a minute about his potential to crush your bones.
Luckily, he doesn't exert that much pressure. You are probably going to get some gnarly bruises though.
"Okay, Azul. Okay," you find yourself saying, turning your head to spit a bit as some of the mud that's splashed onto your face threatens to trickle into your mouth.
You manage to wriggle just enough to get one arm free. Azul makes a different, more whiny sort of sound at that, but he subsides when you use your free hand to pat him.
For lack of better options, you end up petting his hair.
Alright maybe that's less of a forced issue and more of a stolen opportunity. Even in this murky water, the silvery white locks look very soft, and you've always kind of wanted to touch them. Underwater they feel very soft and silky. But also a little gritty, from the dirt. You attempt in futility to use your fingers to brush it all out.
You should probably be afraid. Azul's not in his right mind, and the last time he was in octo mer form and taking leave of his senses, he went on a rampage and tried to rip you limb from limb. But you don't actually think fear would help, you've read that everyone in this world has some heightened senses for those kinds of emotions when they're in the grips of 'primal instincts', and what if fear makes him think something is wrong and he should get aggressive about it?
Although that's not the real reason. The real reason is that you just aren't. The vibes don't feel threatening. Azul doesn't even strike you as horny, he's just being... cuddly.
Maybe that is horny for octo mer, though? You think you might have read somewhere that one of an octopus's tentacles served as a penis on the males. But you don't know if that would apply to the merman version, let alone the Omega weird gender merman version. None of the tentacles look more dick-like to you than the others.
He's also not humping you or repeatedly rubbing anything against you, sooo you're just not gonna think about it. Although he does feel really warm.
You're gonna pretend you don't mind being stuck in a mud pit and getting lightly crushed. You continue petting Azul's hair and even throw in some gentle humming, which you think he likes? His own purring gets softer in response, but it seems less like he's tapering off into displeasure and more like he's relaxing bit by bit. Some of his grip on you does ease incrementally, and his eyes slide shut.
You're still doing the petting and humming when Floyd shows up.
"Holy shit, Little Shrimpy. Ya didn't haveta get in with him!" he cackles.
Azul shifts around so his face is more in Floyd's direction, although you don't think he can actually see him, and he doesn't seem particularly disturbed.
"He pulled me in," you say, still keeping your tone light and unbothered.
"Aw, I knew he liked ya."
"Yeah. When he's feeling better he's going to pay for all my clothes he's just ruined," you say, gently massaging behind one of his ears. "But in the meantime, this is a horrible mud pit, and I would like to get out of it, and I don't think we should leave Azul in it either. Even though it's his own fault for running around like an insane workaholic when he should have already been resting in a nice indoor pool."
Your voice is still perfectly pleasant and even all through your litany of complaints. Azul shifts his head and your hand ends up on his cheek. You sigh and smooth your palm across it with something not unlike affection.
"I dunno how we're gonna get him outta there," Floyd admits.
"I don't want to hear that," you say.
"Maybe we could put a big tank on wheels...?"
"I think if you don't want to be seen wheeling your heat-addled housewarden through the halls to the dorm, you're going to have to go find Malleus, and ask him very nicely if he will help teleport Azul to his room instead," you suggest.
You're kind of surprised when Floyd runs off to apparently do just that.
Although it is Floyd so, there is a non-zero chance he's also just run off to do some other thing that's flown into his head.
Not much you can do about it now.
You move your hand to rub at the backs of Azul's shoulders and arms. It's hard to tell because he's an octo mer, but it seems to help alleviate a bit of the weird, hot tension in his muscles.
"Just so you know, being crammed into the lawn like this is possibly the least sexy thing ever," you tell him.
A few of his tentacles shift and press at the edges of the ground. It makes the water muddier, and you put your hand gently over his eyes to help make sure the cloud of gunk doesn't get in them.
"Even though you are very very pretty and can get away with this shit, that doesn't mean I want to be literally stuck in the dirt with you."
"You have got to learn to slow down when you need the rest. You don't need to try so hard all the time, you know? Running an entire lounge while you're also going to school is kind of insane. I don't think I've ever actually said that out loud to you. Because you are of course also busy being a dick most days."
"...I guess it is kind of nice to hold you, though. Wish I could actually see more of you. This is your coolest form and you're hardly ever in it, and now I get to be up close and personal, but I can barely get a look at you."
"Speaking of cool forms, you know you will still look amazing even if you gain some weight, right? Like don't think I haven't seen Jade chasing you down with food. I know it's not simple with the body image stuff and it probably doesn't matter, and if you could understand me this'd be insensitive maybe. Definitely not my place. But you are such a goddamn pretty boy, you'll look good at any size you want to be."
"Oh yeah and while we're on the topic of your welfare, you need to actually tell Coach Vargas that your legs hurt and that you need to use your cane and take breaks on track. Yes I've noticed. You'd probably hate that I've noticed. I don't think anyone else has, though, but back where I come from there's a story about a mermaid who goes onto the land and every step she takes feels like she's walking on broken glass. And buddy I think you've got that too, although I'm not sure why or if it's just a side effect of going from so many limbs when you're like this to just the two legs when you're human-shaped. Doesn't matter though, you shouldn't be pushing yourself to the point where you're hurting like that all the time."
You sigh.
"You know, this situation wouldn't be so bad if you were in your right mind and actually wanted me to take care of you. I wouldn't say no. I mean, I wouldn't say no to helping out like this, with the... cuddling and also general caretaking type stuff. Maybe other things too one day, if you were up for that. Eventually. Or not. But I guess all things considered I should just be glad you didn't chuck me across Main Street..."
Azul loosens his grip on you with one of his own arms, and takes hold of your wrist. You think he wants to move your hand away from his eyes, and he does. But he mainly just seems to want to nuzzle your palm instead, and make weird little saw-like noises from his chest until you go back to petting him.
"There, there. Floyd's coming back. Probably. I've got you. Well no I don't, you've actually got me but whatever. I've still got you."
"You had me worried there for a bit, you know. I thought someone might have come after you while you were in this sort of state. Pulling some nefarious shit or whatever."
"Wanna know a secret? I think I'd kill anyone who tried it."
"Okay maybe I don't have the skills for that. But I'd help Jade and Floyd do the homicide. Or help them hide the body I guess. Eh, who am I kidding, they're definitely better at that stuff."
"I'd do my best though. I'm glad you're okay."
You end up spending so much time cooing at and petting Azul that it's getting dark when Floyd does return.
With Malleus.
So hey, not too bad!
And at least Azul being a furnace means you aren't shivering in the muck as the temperatures drop towards evening. No one has been by either, or if they have then they walked down the street without deciding to comment on the prefect muttering gentle reassurances to the mud monster in a water hole.
"Heyyy Hornton, good of you to come help," you call out.
"Of course. It's my pleasure to assist," Malleus says, because he's kind of a swell guy when he's not being totally unhinged. You decide you're gonna send him a fruit basket or something as thanks for this, if it works out. He'll probably like that. You'll have to find one that's especially eccentric for him.
Floyd talks to Malleus for a bit. The wind kicks up so you don't hear everything, but you gather he's explaining where Azul needs to get to.
It occurs to you just a couple seconds before Malleus does his magic that you should probably not go with Azul, since he might accidentally drown you in a deeper pool. But lucky for you the others seem to have guessed that, because when the spellwork subsides you find yourself flailing in the muck pool alone, Azul's whole self having been successfully moved elsewhere.
With no Azul, the water is infinitely worse. Slimy, gross, and rapidly cooling. Also just too deep for you to comfortably climb out with your dignity intact.
Floyd has to come over and help haul you back onto the grass.
"You will tell Azul that he owes me, so much, when he's in his right mind again," you say, as you wring out your clothes and try ineffectually to wipe some of the muck off.
"Oh don't worry Shrimpy, he'll remember himself," Floyd tells you.
You pause.
"What?"
"Well it ain't like he's not in there," Floyd tells you, with the air of someone imparting reasonable and common knowledge. "He's not poisoned or drunk, ya know? He's just not making his usual choices on account of all the hormones. But he'll still remember everythin' later, including dragging you into the water and making an ass of himself, heehehee."
Right. He was the one making an ass of himself.
And you were the one calling him a pretty boy who you like hugging and would happily take of, for the better part of an hour.
You stare off into the middle distance for a bit. Malleus bids you farewell and Floyd declares he's gotta get back to the lounge and make sure Azul's set up okay, and wanders off to, presumably, do that.
After the mud on your hands has started to dry and flake, you pick up your phone and squelch your way back to Ramshackle.
"What the heck happened to you?!" Grim asks you at the door, taking in your bedraggled state.
"I don't want to talk about it," you say, on your way to go take an extremely long shower and maybe scream into your hands for a while.