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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Albedo is methodical about aftercare, first and foremost. He cleans up any messes on his partner on himself, then the environment they’re in. On the outside, it seems like he treats it as a chore, which can get on some people’s nerves. If asked to be more tender or loving afterwards, he’ll get a little confused. In Albedo’s perspective, the physical act of looking after a partner conveys the thought behind it. Depending on his partner, this may or may not be true in their opinion.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
On himself, Albedo would have to pick his hands. They’re what he uses to interact with the world, sketch, perform experiments, and everything. Second to that is his sense of sight. Albedo enjoys processing information, and few things are quicker to grasp than the ones you witness firsthand. On a partner, he’s impartial. He doesn’t pick a favourite aspect, and rather sees them as a whole person he enjoys spending time with. Their nature and personality is far more attractive to him than their body could ever be.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He doesn’t produce any, and if he had the anatomy required, it likely wouldn’t be capable of “contributing a gamete,” as Albedo himself might put it. As a concept, he’s neutral about it. Albedo doesn’t find cum particularly gross or attractive. He wouldn’t appreciate the flavour, but beyond that, he’s fine with doing whatever a partner has in mind. They don’t have to worry about using protection regardless of circumstances, because he lacks organs and tissues in a human sense, and thus cannot be affected by any STDs.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Albedo, more than anything else, would love to take a plaster cast of his partner’s torso and keep it as an art piece. He knows it’s a weird request, even coming from him, so he tends to keep quiet about it unless he has confidence they won’t feel too creeped out by the suggestion.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He has some clinical experience. Albedo has studied human reproductive systems and anatomy in great detail, mainly to familiarize himself with something he lacks entirely. For the social aspect, he knows less. He’s checked some books about kinks out of the Favonious Library with a straight face before. They’re much less hardlined than anatomy is. There will always be more kinks and fetishes than variations in the flesh, which is both daunting and intriguing on a scientific level. If he’s not told to knock it off, Albedo will get incredibly mechanical about his first time with someone. This can easily get on their nerves.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Albedo enjoys positions where he can see as much as possible, and is free to move his own limbs. He has no major preference beyond that. His own body is much more flexible than a human’s, so if his partner wants, they’re free to contort him however.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Dead serious. Albedo does have a sense of humour, it just never comes up during sex. He thinks too much to crack any jokes. If his partner is the jokey type, not much of it is going to land. They’ll probably stop making jokes after it starts getting awkward because Albedo has barely laughed once.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
No hair to speak of. Short of the hair on his head, Albedo is completely hairless. If he did have some, it’d be about the same, and he wouldn’t bother doing anything but washing it. Albedo is well groomed in the sense that he’s clean, but he doesn’t always smell the best, especially if he’s fresh out of the lab. He has little standards for a partner’s grooming, and is almost impossible to disgust. If he feels it’s unsanitary, he’ll just put on some gloves and work from there.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Not very, in the traditional sense. Being close to Albedo is more about a quiet bond. He’s not one for declarations of love, but he will show up for his partner every time he possibly can. Albedo is always attentive during sex, open to learning and further direction. He never assumes he knows everything about his partner’s body. Albedo shows intimacy through trust and listening.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Albedo is physically incapable of jacking off. This is no exaggeration. He can’t do it. He’s never done it. Even if he wanted to, it’d be impossible in the traditional sense.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Albedo isn’t sure if he has any himself. He’s read as much as he can about them, both in serious texts and over the top BDSM romance novels. He’s neutral about most of them. The ones he enjoys tend to be enjoyable for a reason outside the kink itself, like the skill required to do it well or any additional bonding with his partner it entails.
It’s not what he thinks of first, but Albedo is good with needles. As an alchemist, he’s used to injecting medicines into himself as experiments, and has administered other substances to the Knights of Favonious on occasion. If his partner was into needles, he’d find the process of selecting injection sites and piercing their skin enjoyable. Whether or not the needle actually has something in it doesn’t matter. Albedo will make sure to give an in depth sharps safety lecture before engaging.
While not really kinky, Albedo also enjoys painting or sketching his partner either nude or with fewer clothes on than usual. He finds the human form charming for its supposed “imperfections,” as a counterpart and opposite to his “perfection.” He would also enjoy painting or drawing directly on his partner. Albedo would prefer pigments that don’t stain badly in that case. If his partner wanted him to give them a tattoo, he would be willing to learn the process just for them (which ties right back into needles, incidentally.)
Albedo can get surprisingly into knives and other such sharp things when used on him. He has far fewer pain receptors than a human does, so superficial damages barely register. If his partner is the type to enjoy the show of golden “blood” slowly leaking from an array of cuts, then Albedo definitely won’t complain. He knows this is intimidating to most people, so it’s not something he brings up first (if at all.)
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He’s not against doing it in weird places, but Albedo would prefer to do it somewhere in proximity to water or other cleaning supplies. Practicality outweighs any perceived eroticism most of the time with Albedo. He also prefers not to be seen by others, mostly for the sake of his reputation (and that of his partner’s.) If a place fulfills these two tenets, he’s down.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Albedo doesn’t experience arousal in the same way humans do. While humans usually have a mix of physical and psychological desire, Albedo exclusively has the psychological kind. His body wasn’t designed for arousal- a perfect being wouldn’t need to reproduce, after all. That would only create competition. It’s less about what turns him on as opposed to what makes him think about sex. Albedo associates intense physical affection (such as making out or heavy petting) with it, along with overly revealing clothes in contexts that don’t require them. Albedo won’t get hot and bothered just because his partner wore a swimsuit, but if their shirt is off while they hang around in his room? Albedo is ready.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Share himself. Albedo is generally a private person, and he would prefer only his partner witness him in such a state. Interestingly, he’s fine if his partner is the one having sex with other people, so long as it’s all pre negotiated. He isn’t possessive, but is mainly just skittish about the idea of being naked around anyone else.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
It has to be giving. Albedo…well, his partner would have to get creative given his situation, and he’d feel incredibly awkward about it. Even then, he’s not the biggest fan of the taste most of the time. If asked politely, he will. Otherwise, he won’t suggest it.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
It varies depending on the situation. Albedo is always methodical, but the actual speed changes. It’s almost impossible to get him to a point where he loses control over his faculties. Given the danger he can pose to humans if he lacks discipline, he’s one of the strictest people around when it comes to that. Albedo will always stop himself if he feels like he’s even close to abandoning his inhibitions. It’s impossible to convince him to do otherwise.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He does enjoy the occasional quickie. Albedo’s a busy person, and as much as he’d enjoy spending more time with his partner, his work is an integral part of his identity. He couldn’t give it up, no matter how he met. While he can go forever without any sexual activity, most humans don’t want to. A quickie or two is an easy way to remedy that, in his mind.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Albedo lives and breathes experimentation. Risk, less so. He always makes sure to prepare things according to a formula, and leaves little to chance when he can. If his partner is particularly into risk, he’ll consider it, so long as it isn’t too big or doesn’t compromise either of their reputations.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
As long as his physical body can hold up. It’s mainly about how many rounds his partner would want to go than his own stamina, given that he lacks reproductive anatomy. His own preference for the sake of time is around 1-2 rounds with a break in between.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Absolutely. Besides his fingers, toys are the only way Albedo can give anything to his partner. He doesn’t mind receiving, but it feels strange and it’s hard for him to get used to, no matter how many times he does it. Albedo possesses the tools to artifice entirely new things, so if his partner has a vision, he can do his best to bring it into being. One of the first things he invests in is a strap and a harness for himself.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Albedo loves to tease under the guise of learning, if he’s feeling playful that day. Watching his partner squirm brings out just a hint of his more suppressed side. If he’s the one getting teased, he’s pretty hard to throw off his game. It’s definitely possible, but rare.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He’s pretty quiet. Since he doesn’t experience any direct pleasure himself, there’s little reason for him to be making any noise. The most that’s heard is his breathing, which speeds up depending on the exertion. Albedo is also fond of talking to his partner during sex, whether it be entirely unrelated or just checking in on how they’re doing at the moment.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Albedo’s skin has a chalky texture. It’s one of the reasons he wears so much clothing- of course, some people high up know he’s not human, but he doesn’t need the average knight knowing.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Nothing. To be more specific, Albedo has no external or internal genitalia or reproductive structures. There’s absolutely nothing between his legs save for a smooth and hairless seam of skin, much like a mannequin. His body has very low muscle mass, and is unnaturally symmetrical, with everything exactly even and a reflection of the opposite side. Albedo does possess “a single orifice for excretory purposes” as he once (unsexily) put it. While he can consume and digest human food, he obtains his energy mainly from rare earth metals mixed with other alchemical compounds. These “meals” can be years in between, depending on the purity of the substances.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Low. Albedo finds a good scientific conversation with his partner to be as psychologically satisfying as sex, if not more so. His yearning outside that sense is also on the lower end. No matter how much he values someone, Albedo, at his core, is an introverted individual. He likes his alone time.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Albedo doesn’t have a real need for sleep. He can enter a coma voluntarily to quickly regenerate tissues using elemental reserves from his last meal, but that’s not really the same. Albedo is unlikely to fall asleep. He’ll likely clean up and go back to whatever he was doing before.