Chapter Text
The smell of cigarette ashes was thick in the air.
Carlton had already walked away in tears, Will still sitting at the counter with his hands clasped tightly.
It hurt. For some reason, it hurt.
Will couldn't even remember what the conversation was. Everything that happened for the past half an hour was all blurry now.
Something about Will telling Carlton he was sorry, sorry for not being able to love him properly. Sorry that it had to end that way, how Carlton deserved better, someone who could love him for him.
Will couldn't even remember when he lit a new cigarette, blinked his tears back, took a long puff.
It hurt, because he couldn't give a good man all the love he deserved. And because Carlton deserved someone who loved him right, Will asked him to go.
He drove back home on autopilot. Dragged himself up the steps to his apartment complex- to hear the muffled ring of his telephone from inside. Will sighed, rubbing his face as he opened the door, mentally preparing himself to engage in a conversation.
"You're home, finally! Pick up that damn phone, Byers! It's been ringing off the hook for the past 20 minutes!" His neighbour yelled across from his own apartment window.
"Sorry!" Will replied with a tired exhale, the harsh ringing hurting his ears before he picked up.
"Hello?"
-
Will had ran that fast only a few times in his life, and that was in the upside down. Running from demogorgons, for his own life.
And he was running even now. He ran out of his apartment, down to get a taxi, ran across the train station distance to the booking counter.
"They found a body at the quarry," Joyce had told him, barely able to take a breath, voice shaky and stiffled with tears.
He ran across the station from the counter to the platform. Hell, he would've ran across the country to get back to the place he left for good. Back to the town that wanted nothing to do with him.
"Some people were at the Lake and they tried to stop that from happening but it was too late- they called Hopper down for rescue it- it-"
The train stopped at the Hawkins station. Will almost jumped out before the train even halted fully, sprinting down to get a taxi- telling the driver to hurry and speed fast.
"It's Mike.. Will he-"
Will could feel tears brimming in his eyes as he panted audibly, ugly and hitchy and loud, barging in through the doors of the hospital. Sick white walls surrounded him, the scent of phenyl thick in the air.
"He had a pulse but he's hurt- he's injured, it's critical-"
He hated it. It made him sick to his stomach, it was too much- but he had no time to think about it.
Leather jacket, parted hair now messy, eyes full of tears and a single backpack on his shoulders- Will ran so fast all the way across from New York to Indiana, this time for his best friend's life.
He hated that there was nothing he could do. He couldn't help Mike. Couldn't stop him, save his life, bring him back from death's door.
Because Mike never ran. Be it a demogorgon, or a flayed Billy nearly pouncing on him, Mike never ran. He'd stand there, feet frozen, waiting for death to take him like it was inevitable. Like he was already accepting there was no way out. He wasn't like Will, who held a gun and ran and hid. Mike never ran. He just looked away and let it happen.
And Will hated that no amount of his powers could stop Mike from taking that step. What use was it, if they could stop a demogorgon, but not Mike's pain? Mike himself?
Will was exhausted. The blur of people and nurses and doctors moving past him was dizzying. First the breakup, and then the phone call. But he couldn't even register the exhaustion as he moved down the hallways, turning corners till he found his mother.
Joyce was comforting Karen who was in tears and shaking and sniffling, Hopper had his hand on Joyce's shoulder, providing silent support. Nancy sat on the other side of her mother holding her hand, looking like she'd cried a while ago too. Ted Wheeler sat on the bench nearby, zoned out and dissociating- Max and Jonathan were there too.
Will's loud footsteps made them look up, just as he'd turned the corner.
Jonathan was the first one who moved. Will was out of breath and shaking when Jonathan pulled him in a hug- and Will nearly crumbled, burying his face in his brother's shoulder, trying so hard not to sob. Joyce joined them soon, rubbing Will's back.
"Where is he?-" Will asked, pulling away from the hug with a long and wet sniffle, wiping his eyes and face quickly- Joyce was still rubbing small circles on his back. "Is he-"
"He woke up a while ago." Jonathan told him- and Will let out an involuntary sigh he didn't know he was holding.
"He won't talk though. Don't know if it's the meds or.. he's just- out of it."
"I want to see him." Will demanded- not even asking.
"Yeah- just.. just be careful. Doctor said not to.. you know, provoke him or- bring up heavy topics." Joyce said softly.
"I know." Will nodded, wiping any remaining tears. He wanted to be strong for Mike. For the only person who made him feel like himself.
Will nodded at both of them and stepped towards the ward door-
And it suddenly felt so difficult. Everything suddenly dawned on him- he almost lost Mike. He almost lost his best friend, his other half of 13 years. Had anything gone wrong he'd have to return to Mike's body in a coffin and-
Will flinched at the thought. It hurt to even think about it, to visualise having to sit next to his gravestone for hours on end, talk on and on about everything that could've been, the unfinished d&d campaign, the unfinished story of unrequited feelings, doomed to stay incomplete forever.
But Mike was alive. And none of what Will spiralled over was going to come true. That gave him a bit of strength- and he carefully pushed open the door, heavy step crossing the threshold, quietly inviting himself into Mike's space.
Mike was laying on the bed, reclined up slightly. His face turned away towards the window, and Will couldn't see his eyes, just the slope of his cheekbone. His chest rose and fell softly- a reminder to Will that Mike was still there. His head was bandaged, arm in a sling, fingers wrapped too- Will was left to assume they broke. There was a bruise on the slope of his cheek, red and bright, and Will was sure he had more injuries not visible to the eye.
Mike didn't turn to look when the door opened. Will swallowed, walking in and quietly sat down on the little chair that was next to the bed. There was nothing for a while, Will didn't speak.
"...Hey, Mike." Will finally greeted- and he noticed how Mike's chest stuttered like his breath hitched. Still, he didn't look at Will.
"It's been a while.."
"You didn't need to come back." Mike said quietly after a while of silence.
Will looked down, his hand resting right next to Mike's good hand on the mattress. He wants to hold it. Run his fingers over Mike's sharp knuckles, comfort him.
And he didn't remember when he began hesitating touching Mike like that. Maybe from the day they met at the California airport, when Mike couldn't even give him a proper hug after reuniting after a whole year. And Will withdrew, because if Mike didn't want it, he wouldn't push it.
"I wanted to." Will replied simply. And that was true- he wanted to come back. He wanted to be there for Mike.
"You shouldn't have." Mike pressed- tone flat. "I'm fine."
No you're not, Will thought. You're here, physically okay, but you're far from fine.
"I know." Will nodded, not sure which club of Mike's words he was replying to. "But I wanted to. Can I stay? I want to."
Kindness was Will's middle name, apparently. No matter how much Mike pushed him away, hurt him, refused to look at him, Will always looked at Mike with those big loving eyes of his. And Mike was sure he was looking at him with them again- he was sure if he looked at Will it'd kill him.
He heard Mike swallow. "You shouldn't. You have a life there.. you'll leave."
That made Will look up.
"I'm not your responsibility." Mike added.
"But you're my best friend." Will replied. "Nothing you do is.. burdensome to me. I'm here because I want to be."
"Good things don't last."
Jonathan said Mike didn't talk to anyone. But he was talking to Will, and Will couldn't determine whether Mike was just so exhausted that he wasn't bothering to cover up, or he was speaking because... it was Will.
Because no matter how much distance fate put between them, Mike always ran to Will to speak about his deepest fears. Deep as not feeling good enough for Jane, which Mike never admitted to her, but told Will.
Will knew Mike stopped telling him each and every thing at some point, but he still told him a lot than he told everyone else. And with Will gone, who was he speaking his mind to?
"People don't stay. You shouldn't either."
Mike had handled Jane's death terribly. He was in pain, denial, every stage of grief aside from acceptance. He spent hours sitting infront of her memorial, scared that if he tried to move on, he'd forget her forever. Mike had always been terrible with moving on from things. He'd rather stay stuck in one place, stay in the comfort of familiarity forever. Feet frozen, unwilling to move, no matter how urgent it was.
Will was realising it might have been about her death after all. Grief pulling and dragging Mike in so deep that he only found one way out and tried to take it.
"I know you don't want me here, but.. I'm going to stay. You stayed with me when I was gone, when everyone in this town hated me.. you were always there for me. So.. how could I not have come back, Mike?"
Mike doesn't say anything. But Will wanted to be a little more brave- so this time he sets his hand atop of Mike's. "I care about you. I always will. You're my best friend.. and I'm gonna stay. Okay? I'm going to stay no matter how.. impossible it seems. We've both seen a lot of impossible things, don't you think?" His voice is quiet.
"You're not alone. Crazy together, remember?"
Mike took a deeper breath, finally turning his head to look at Will.
And Will didn't know Mike's dark eyes could look any more hollow and darker, even with the slightest glimmer of tears pooling in them that he saw in the dim light.
"You should go." Mike mumbled. "I'm tired, Will." He swallowed thickly, like he was swallowing back tears.
Will's breath hitched. Mike had never looked so exhausted.
Exhausted enough to not let even his best friend stay.
Will breathed in, sharp and quick. He nodded, throat welling up as he gently pat Mike's hand. "I'll be outside." He said, letting Mike know that he was at arm's reach. "Rest up. I'm right here."
-
"Here." Lucas extended a cup of coffee towards Will.
"Will, have it. You look terrible." Max said when Will refused. Will took it but didn't drink.
"Did he talk?" Dustin asked.
"A little."
"That's good. He didn't talk to us." Max said.
"How long has this been going on?" Will asked, looking up. The party looked at him.
"What has?"
"This, whole thing." Will almost sounded annoyed. "This isn't a sudden- thing- he's been hurting for a while, what's going on? What happened while I wasn't here?"
"Well it never is a sudden thing," Max said quietly. "And he never said a thing."
"Yeah well-" Will sighed. "There must've been, I don't know, signs? Distancing or like, talking less, isolating-"
"He's not very expressive about it," Dustin said, "I mean during the time you were in Cali, his grades dropped and he was grumpy, didn't talk a lot but this time he didn't do anything like that. He seemed.. normal."
"How is that possible? He's expressive."
"With you, Will." Max said.
Silence. Everyone there knew she wasn't wrong.
"I mean-" Will spoke again, voice rising. "There must've been something that hinted- it got bad enough that he jumped off a quarry for God's sake!!"
"Not the first time."
Will's head snapped up. "What?"
"Lucas." Dustin glared.
"What? He deserves to know the truth." Lucas snapped. "We're just supposed to keep it from him forever?"
"What are you talking about?-" Will interrupted, alarmed, heart hammering hard.
"It's not the first time he's jumped off that quarry, Will." Lucas spilled it.
Dustin sighed. Will fell silent. Max was quiet.
"Wh-..."
"When we were 12. You were presumed dead and they found your "body"-" Lucas made quotation marks with his fingers- "in the Lake, Troy had Dustin at knifepoint and told Mike to jump or he'd cut Dustin. And Mike did. He just- went to the edge and walked off the quarry. El was there which we didn't know and she saved him but if she hadn't been there he-.." Lucas swallowed, and finally met Will's eyes.
Will looked horrified. Understandably so. Lucas couldn't hold his gaze for more than a second. It hurt too much- Lucas couldn't tell if Will was betrayed, in disbelief, or his world was collapsing. Maybe all three.
It wasn't a sudden thing after all.. never had been. And Will never knew- he never saw it. Mike never let him see it.
"Will?" Lucas looked up when Will just got up and started walking away from them.
"Will- Will listen man we-" Dustin tried to follow but Max stopped him, just shaking her head.
Will walked down the hall to see Jonathan and Nancy getting some coffee for themselves. Jonathan looked up, eyes softening the second they landed on his brother.
Will was tearing up, cheeks flushed and lashes wet, lip trembling. He looked up from the floor, finally, meeting Jonathan's gaze.
Will crumbled. His face contorted painfully, tears giving way and streaming down his face. Jonathan abandoned his coffee, striding over to Will and immediately hugged him, arms gathering his baby brother into a warm embrace.
Will hugged back so tight, like if he let go he'd sink and fall through the floor. Everything that had been piling up since the evening flooded out in a mess of tears and sobs and unintelligible babbling against Jonathan's shoulder.
"Here." Nancy said quietly, holding out a cassette tape. Will sniffled and wiped his eyes, hiccuping as he looked down.
"He always keeps it in his room. Said it helped it calm down sometimes."
-
"Can I borrow your Walkman?"
Max looked at him and nodded quietly, not really questioning it. Will looked terrible, eyes puffy and face sticky with dried down tears. She pulled off the headphones and Walkman from around her neck and handed it to him.
Will sat down on the cold metal bench infront of the ward, putting the headphones on and inserted the cassette in it. He pressed play, letting the guitar riff travel through his ears. Will sighed long, eyes rolling back as he shut them and let the world fade out, just listening to the music.
"Darlin' you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine~
I'll be here 'til the end of time."