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Luca is lying face down on his couch after returning home from the debacle with Shane and Ilya. He’s still shaken from the emotional whiplash. Against his better judgement he opens his phone to look at his Grindr messages again.
Boston Trade (0 ft away): Visiting from Boston and my friend just cancelled on me :(
Boston Trade (0 ft away): What is a guy like me to do on a lonely night in Ottawa? 🍆🍆🍆
Luca sighs and runs a hand over his exhausted face. He really should not reply. He should delete the app. Maybe he should even go as far as to change his name, move out of the country and never show his face in North America ever again. Except against his better judgement his fingers move and suddenly there’s a response waiting to be sent.
He absolutely should not send it.
blonde boy: I could maybe think of a few things you could do tonight
“Fuck,” Luca says, realizing a second too late that he hit send.
He panics and throws his phone across the room so he can’t see it. He grabs the nearest pillow, pressing his face into it and letting out a primal type of scream. He’s glad his housemate, Holmberg, isn't home right now to witness this catastrophe.
He’s momentarily pulled out of his spiral by his phone vibrating noisily against the hardwood floor where it landed. He groans and gets up to find it. Then he spirals again when he sees Cliff messaged back.
Boston Trade: *location of hotel near Centaurs arena
Boston Trade: See you at 8 pm? Room 401 😜
Luca seriously can’t go and hook up with Cliff Marleau. The guy would probably recognize him. Sure Luca’s not the most famous person in the league, but they’ve played against each other before. Also he’s on the same team as Cliff’s bestie, Ilya. He’s also nearly 10 years older than Luca. Sure they’re both fully grown adults, but Luca’s afraid to admit how much the age difference turns him on.
“I’m not going to hook up with Cliff Marleau!” Luca declares to his empty living room.
Yet four hours later, at 7:45, he finds himself walking through the lobby of a hotel filled with Boston hockey players.
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck…” Luca is whispering to himself as he makes his way towards the elevators.
He could still turn back around, delete Grindr and never speak of this again. But he could also go up the elevator, knock on the door and get fucked by a hot dude who’s 10 years older than him.
Suddenly the door to room 401 swings open and a shirtless Cliff Marleau is standing in front of him.
If someone were to ask Luca what he did in this situation he would say he definitely did not walk into the hotel room. He would also definitely not admit to riding Cliff Marleau’s dick all night long. He certainly would not admit to anyone that it was the best sex of his life and that he will be dreaming about it for the rest of eternity…
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“Holy shit, you look terrible,” Bood says to Luca when he walks into the locker room the next day.
Luca waves him off, embarrassed, and walks over to his stall.
“Haas, what happened to you? You’re limping!” Someone else calls out.
Luca wants to sink into the floor and disappear forever.
“I think I know what happened to him,” Ilya says, strolling into the room with a smirk on his face that makes Luca even more nervous.
Luca does not play his best, given he was getting his guts rearranged about 12 hours earlier. Also it does not help that Cliff keeps winking at him, flirtatiously every time he skates by. Thankfully no one else seems to notice, at least that’s what he thinks until Ilya pulls him aside after the game.
“What did you do?” Ilya asks, crossing his arms like a disappointed parent.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”
“Do the words ‘Boston Trade’ ring a bell?”
“Um… no?” Luca tries his best to look clueless. He is so fucked.
“Why do I have Cliff Marleau texting me about how he had a great time meeting my rookie?”
“What the hell?! He said he wouldn’t tell anyone-” Luca’s eyes go wide in panic.
“Hah! Caught in the act. He didn’t actually say anything, but you just confirmed it,” Ilya claps his hand on Luca’s shoulder. “So, what do you have to say for yourself, young man?”
Luca mumbles something, turning his face away from Ilya.
“What was that? Speak up when you’re talking to your team captain,” Ilya scolds.
“I said, it’s none of your business, now can you just let it go?” Luca groans, rolling his eyes.
“None of my business? My best friend is trying to steal my rookie! He’s corrupted our precious team baby,” Ilya fake sobs.
“Ilya, leave the poor guy alone, he can make his own decisions,” Shane appears, grabbing Ilya by the back of the shirt.
“This isn’t over, Haas!” Ilya shouts out as he is dragged away by his boyfriend.
Despite how awkward things are going to be between him and Ilya, Luca can’t say he has any regrets.
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Nick Chouinard is about to leave the arena after their game when he overhears Ilya talking with Luca in the hallway. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but he can't help it when he hears something that makes him pause.
“...Boston trade?” Ilya asks.
He doesn’t really understand the rest of the conversation, but he gets the gist of it. He’s not sure what to do with this information, he thinks it over until he runs into Evan Dykstra in the parking lot.
“Hey, Nick, why do you look so sad? We just won a game!” He exclaims, patting Nick on the back.
“Luca is getting traded to Boston,” Nick says, frown deepening.
“What? No way, where did you hear this?”
“I overheard him and Roz talking about it in the hallway. Roz seemed upset, but Luca was saying it’s none of his business.”
“Do you think he requested the trade himself? The deadline is coming up soon,” Evan wonders.
“I’m not sure, but either way I don’t want to lose Haasy. Sure he could kill it playing for a team like Boston, but I thought he liked playing with us…”
“Maybe we should just ask him. If he put in the trade request himself we can convince him to not go through with it,” Evan suggests.
“Yeah, but what if it wasn’t voluntary and management is trying to get rid of the guy? I think maybe he got injured at practice, he looked like he was in pain. But they can’t just trade him for a minor injury, right?”
“They wouldn’t trade him to a better team if it was a punishment. Maybe it’s to punish one of the Boston players?”
“Ugh, either way we can’t lose him. We have to get to the bottom of this,” Nick sighs.
“Ok, I’m in.”
---------
They decide the best first step is to get Troy or Shane to talk to him, since he seems to go to them the most for advice. Of course Shane is the first one they run into, as he always shows up early to practice.
“Hey, dude,” Nick says, walking up to the man.
“Hey, what’s up?” Shane asks.
“You know about this whole Boston trade thing?” Nick drops his voice to a whisper.
“Dude, how do you know about that?!” Shane’s eyes go wide in panic.
“I overheard Ilya talking about it.”
“You can’t tell any of the other guys about it, Luca’s super embarrassed as is. Besides, despite the baby face he is an adult and can make his own decisions. No matter how it looks, we have no right to be upset about it I guess,” Shane shrugs.
“Well, I’m fucking upset about it, alright. You can’t tell me you’re not suspicious of the whole thing.”
“Ok, look man, I have to admit I’m shocked by it too. But I don’t know, he’s young and he’s gay so I sort of get it."
“Wait, it’s because he’s gay?” Nick gasps.
Shane pauses and just stares at him with concern. “Um, well yeah?”
“And he’s doing this willingly?”
“Yeah, I’d fucking hope so. Again, like I said he’s into it, so I won’t judge,” Shane says.
“So you won’t talk him out of it?”
“Like I said, it’s really none of my business. Now excuse me, I have to get ready for practice,” Shane huffs, turning his back to Nick to force the end of this conversation.
Nick sighs and walks away, maybe Troy will be on their side.
---------
Evan catches Troy on the way to his car after practice.
“Barret, serious talk. Haas is getting traded to Boston and you need to talk him out of it,” Evan says, putting himself between Troy and the car door to make sure he can’t get away.
“Luca? Traded?”
“Yes, that’s what I just said.”
“Oh shit, why?”
“I talked to Hollander about it, he said he requested it himself and it has something to do with being gay.”
“But we’re the gayest team in the league. Why would he want to go to Boston?” Troy scratches his head in confusion.
“I have no idea. But we have to talk him out of it, right?”
“Yeah, I’d hate to see him leave. Maybe we should tell all the other guys, there’s strength in numbers,” Troy nods.
Boston Trade Hate Club
Chouinard: Hey team, bad news. I heard through the grapevine Luca is getting traded to Boston.
Hayes: What????? No!!!!!!!!!!
Boodram: Bruh what the hell
The messages of everyone’s disapproval continue to flood the chat.
Dykstra: yeah, basically Nick overheard Ilya confronting him about it and Luca seemed pretty defensive.
Chouinard: We have to convince him to not go through with it, make him stay with us
Boodram: okay, I’m in. One question though, why are Roz and Hollander not in this chat?
Chouinard: I tried to get Shane on board with it, and he basically told me to leave it alone and that he supports Luca’s decision… so he’ll be mad if he finds out we’re trying to interfere. Also excluded Ilya because there’s no way dude would be able to keep a secret from Shane.
Hayes: Ok got it, mission: convince Luca to stay in Ottawa and don’t tell Shane or Ilya!
Boodram: Ugh why do I have a bad feeling about this?
Barret: we have to at least try, please guys
The guys all respond in agreement and the plan is launched.
---------
One week later
“Wait, so remind me again why we’re doing this specifically?” Troy asks as the team makes their way to the hotel in Boston.
“If we make Luca hate Boston he’ll change his mind about wanting to play for this city,” Wyatt Hayes explains.
“And how is pulling a bunch of silly pranks on him going to make him hate Boston?"
“It’s just basic psychology. We classically condition him into associating the city with negative experiences.”
“Uh…”
“Look, Barret, do you actually want to stop Luca from getting traded or not? If he goes and we get some meathead from Boston on our team, who are you going to queen out about Charli XCX with in the locker room?” Wyatt is grabbing Troy by the front of his shirt, trying to literally shake some sense into him.
“Ok, I get it-” Troy groans.
Everyone drops their bags off in their respective rooms and then it’s time to initiate phase one.
“Haasy!!!! Let’s go out and explore the city!” Dykstra shouts, banging on his hotel room door.
A very confused Luca opens it and yelps when he’s physically dragged into the hallway.
“Wait, guys I already have plans later-”
“Nonesense, you’re saying you don’t want to spend time with the best team in the world? We love you man, let us treat you to some coffee!” Chouinard drapes his arm over Luca’s shoulders.
Before he can protest again, they’re already dragging him outside the hotel.
“Where are we going?” Luca asks, a bit dazed and confused by the sudden onslaught of attention.
“The pride and joy of New England, Dunkin Donuts…” Dykstra grins, patting him on the back.
“These people don’t have Timmies in this part of the world,” Chouinard says.
“Um, I don’t really like Tim Hortons-” Luca starts to say but is cut off by the look of absolute horror on the faces of his Canadian teammates.
“I’m gonna forget you said that, but let's see how Dunkin compares. I’ve heard it’s all they drink here in Boston.”
“Haas! I got you a coffee already, why don’t you try it?” Wyatt Hayes is already sitting down at a table, suspiciously with only one iced coffee in front of him.
“Oh, um thanks?” Luca nervously sits down and takes the cup offered to him.
He hesitantly takes a sip and immediately has to spit it out.
“Do you like it?” Wyatt asks, grinning at the other two men.
“Why is it so salty?” Luca groans, wiping his mouth off with a napkin.
“That’s just how they do it in Boston,” Chouinard shrugs, as if he wasn’t the one to suggest they dump an entire bag of salt into the drink.
“Hey, let’s go get lunch while we’re out already!” Wyatt exclaims, jumping out of his seat.
Luca is once again being dragged off before he even has a chance to speak.
“Time to get some real Boston classics!” Dykstra claps his hands together as they walk into a normal enough looking pub.
“People here love Irish food,” Chouinard explains as the waiter sets down a plate of what must be the greasiest fried bangers known to man, and a pint of Guinness.
“Uh, guys I’m not very hungry. Also it’s 10 am…”
“C’mon, Luca if you like Boston so damn much you should just shut up and eat your bangers and drink your Guiness!” Wyatt snaps.
Luca startles and he looks at his teammate with concern.
“Are you okay?” He asks.
“Sorry, man, I just want to make sure you get to really appreciate the different cities we visit. Jeez I don’t know what came over me-” Wyatt chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.
Luca picks up a fried banger to try and ease some of the tension. The first bite coats his entire mouth in grease and immediately leaves a heavy feeling in his stomach.
He reaches for the beer, since it’s the only liquid available to wash down the damn fried sausage. It’s too heavy of a combination this early in the morning and Luca feels sick.
“I’m gonna run to the bathroom-” he says, urgently getting up from the table and running to the restrooms in the back of the restaurant.
He just barely makes it to the toilet as the strange combination of Dunkin coffee, Guinness and fried bangers comes right back up. He splashes his face with cold water and debates whether or not he should go back out there or just run away. The guys have been acting super weird today, and Luca’s not sure why.
Thankfully he still has plenty of time to go back to the hotel and get ready for when he planned to go to Cliff’s house later that afternoon. He really hopes this stomach ache doesn’t last until then…
He decides he values his life more than entertaining whatever weird plan the guys have, so he sneaks through the kitchen and out the backdoor.
Twenty minutes later, Wyatt, Evan and Nick go to check on Luca in the bathroom. They are shocked to find the bathroom completely empty.
Boston Trade Hate Club
Chouinard: guys we lost Luca what do we do?????
Bood: What do you mean you just lost him? You guys were supposed to be responsible for the rookie!!!!
Troy: Okay apparently Shane saw him walking back to his hotel room a few minutes ago - said he looks sick. What the fuck did you guys do?
Evan: We just showed him the Boston experience idk
Wyatt: Ok, we’re heading back to the hotel, regroup there
---------
Everyone is gathered in the hallway outside of Luca’s hotel room.
“Luca, you okay in there, buddy?” Bood says, knocking on the closed door, just to get no response.
“We can go get some clam chowder if you’re still hungry? I heard it’s wicked good!” Evan exclaims, putting on a horrible impression of a New England accent.
The door swings open and an irritated looking Luca is standing there.
“Guys, seriously, I’m fine, I just need to rest for a bit,” he sighs.
“What are you idiots all doing?” Coach Wiebe asks, choosing this moment to walk down the hallway.
“Coach! We’re just trying to give young Luca here a tour of the city!”
“I know you all have a day off, but you should still be resting for practice and the game tomorrow,” he says sternly.
“Coach! Please help, they made me drink terrible New England coffee and eat shitty irish sausage and beer at 10 am!” Luca blurts out, trying to hide himself behind the door.
“Jesus,” Wiebe sighs and then turns to the gaggle of men lingering in the hallway. “You all go be weird somewhere else,” is all he says before walking off to his own room.
“This isn’t over Luca, you rest up now, but we’ll be back…” Chouinard says before the team disperses.
Luca shuts the door, not sure if he can be relieved yet or not. What the hell is wrong with this team?
Luca: come to my room I need help, this team is being crazy 😭😭
Shane: I’m On My Way!
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The rest of the guys are chilling in the hotel bar later that afternoon when they see Shane walk by, looking suspicious. He’s pushing what looks like a laundry cart piled high with blankets.
They all discretely follow him out to where he’s wheeling the cart out to the sidewalk.
“These traitorous bitches!” Nick gasps, watching in disbelief as Shane helps Luca climb out from where he was hiding under all the blankets.
Luca jumps up and runs down the street and gets into a nearby waiting cab.
“What the fuck just happened?” Bood wonders out loud.
“We have to follow him!”
---------
Luca finally relaxes when he’s pressed face down into Cliff Marleau’s couch, coming all over the expensive leather as the other man pounds into him from behind.
Except, the moment ends when he looks up and notices figures moving outside of the window. Then there’s banging on the door as Cliff is pulling out.
---------
“Luca! Your traitorous motherfucker! We know you’re in there!”
“Come out here bitch!”
The guys are all shouting, pounding on the door and yelling insults. They can’t believe the sneaky little fucker rna away from them to hang out with the Boston Captain, Cliff Marleau, instead of hanging out with his current team. They’re hurt to say the least, and this is all just further proof that Luca is trying to leave them behind.
The door swings open, and a messy haired Luca in an oversized Boston Bears shirt is glaring at all of them. Behind him stands the hulking 6’4” figure of Cliff Marleau, except he’s wearing nothing but his underwear.
“Guys, what the actual fuck is wrong with you all?” Luca is actually fuming now.
“What’s wrong with us?? What’s wrong with you? You’re the one playing for the other team!”
Luca pauses, processing their words. Cliff continues to stand awkwardly behind him.
“Guys, I already told you I’m gay, I thought you were all okay with that?” Luca thinks he might be losing it at the big age of 20 years old.
“I don’t know what this has to do with being gay? Yeah dude, of course we support you for that-”
“But you’re mad I’m ‘playing for the other team?’”
“OH- no dude not like that.”
“Bro it’s this fucking Boston trade!”
“... fucking Boston trade?” Luca seriously can’t decide who needs psychological evaluation more, him or the rest of the team.
“Yeah, you’re getting traded to Boston. That’s why we tried to classically condition you into hating this city!”
“Traded to Boston? That’s why you made me eat all those disgusting things?” Luca doesn’t know whether to burst out laughing or to cry. “Guys, I’m not getting traded to Boston.”
“Then why did I hear Ilya ask you about Boston trade?” Nick asks.
“Guys… I’m getting fucked by Boston Trade,” Luca gestures towards Cliff.
“No, we’re the ones who will get fucked if you get traded to Boston!”
Behind the crowd of men on Cliff Marleau’s front porch, Troy Barret is finally connecting some very important dots.
“Guys, Cliff Marleau is Boston Trade…” He sighs, running a hand over his face, in disbelief by his own blind stupidity. “...and Luca told me they hooked up after it happened,” he admits shamefully.
“And you didn’t think to say anything to intervene before all this crazy shit?” Luca asks.
“No, um I really thought you were getting traded, man. I guess I wasn’t thinking,” Troy frowns in shame.
Suddenly a car comes speeding down the street, stopping in front of Cliff’s driveway.
“Luca! I’m sorry they tied me up and locked me in the bathroom!” Shane yells as he runs up the driveway. “You all need to leave him alone!” He says, squaring up as if he’s ever thrown a punch a day in his life.
“Shane, it’s okay, it was all just a misunderstanding, we’re good here,” Luca says, cheeks red from embarrassment.
“Oh, ok, good. Thank god I don’t have to fight anyone.” Shane sighs, walking back to the car where Ilya is waving from the passenger seat.
“Not that I don’t love having guests, but we were kind of in the middle of something…” Cliff finally speaks, wrapping a big muscular arm around Luca’s waist.
“Okay, yeah everyone clear out!” Nick yells.
“Sorry, again Luca, but congrats on pulling Marleau!”
“Yeah, super happy for you, enjoy getting your back blown out!”
“Don’t get fucked to hard, we still have a game to play tomorrow-”
“Oh my god, I hate you all!” Luca groans, ushering Marleau back into the house so he can slam the door shut on everyone.