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It is the most beautiful day Charles has experienced in a while.
Everything’s warm and full of colour. The sun shining down on them brightly, drenching everything in a soft, golden light. Flowers bloom all across the meadow he and Kimi found a little while ago, wonderful specks of colour amongst the luscious sea of green.
Charles, while appreciating them for their contribution to the cosy atmosphere, doesn’t pay them much mind. Unlike the young Prince he’s brought with him.
“Do you think…” Kimi approaches, holding a few daisies in his hand.
He glances up at Charles and blushes as soon as their eyes meet. It has Charles tilt his head in intrigued confusion.
Kimi is shy, sure, but he is not insecure, usually.
But right now he’s unable to look at Charles again, wringing the hem of his tunic between his fingers, and shifting his weight from one foot to the other like he’s about to admit to having committed a cardinal sin — which Charles is sure he hasn’t, so he waits for the younger to finish his question.
“I know it wouldn’t be enough to make up for everything my family and I have done to him, but…” Kimi starts again, then he sighs, clearly frustrated with himself. He tilts his head upwards, closes his eyes for a second and takes a deep breath. When he’s ready to try once more, he still looks embarrassed, but also determined to push through it. “Do you think Max would appreciate flowers?”
“Flowers?” Charles doesn’t mean to sound as baffled as he does, but…
He just never thought about it. Giving Max flowers. He hasn’t even really thought about the two components at the same time before.
But now that he does — thanks to a very nervous looking Kimi — it sounds like the greatest idea he’s ever heard of.
“Well, it’s… I am not sure if he’ll appreciate it, since they are traditionally given to girls, but I thought… I don’t know what else to do to- to apologise. Not without upsetting my brother, at least, because I can hide the flowers from him, but if I’d gift him gold or gem stones, George would definitely find out-”
“No, no, you’re right. Flowers are a good idea.” Charles interrupts Kimi’s rambling, smoothing his surprised expression into an encouraging smile.
It works instantly. All the nervous energy bleeds from the younger Prince, his shoulders dropping from their defensive hold and his lips twitching into a shy grin.
“Really?” He asks, just to be sure.
“Of course!” Charles get up, suddenly a lot more interested in the native flora of his kingdom. “May I help you?”
“I was actually kind of hoping that you would.” Kimi admits as he bends down to pick another daisy. “I have no idea which flowers Max would like.”
“Oh, me either.” Charles droops a little, disappointed with himself.
Why doesn’t he know that? He should know.
Well… Does Max even have a favourite flower?
Based on everything else Charles has found out about him so far, it doesn’t seem like Max really got the basic right of choosing favourite anythings. Are there even flowers in RedBull? Charles has never been there, but based on many descriptions, he can’t imagine more than thorny berry bushes and some thistles growing in the barren, cold countryside.
“Perhaps Nineteen knows.” Charles turns to the mare, who’s grazing a little off to the side.
She keeps a sizable distance to both the Prince’s and Kimi’s horse, Faolen, withdrawn as always, but at least she doesn’t spook when Charles approaches. He’s still careful, because he really doesn’t want to return to the castle to explain to Max that he’s lost his horse, only lifting his hand very, very slowly to pet her back.
Nineteen snorts, lifting her head half-way, still chewing, to look at Charles. Her ears swivel briefly, but they don’t tilt back the way they used to whenever she was in Charles’ presence. Or anyone else's.
“What do you think, belle? Are there any flowers around that Max would like?” Charles asks.
Behind him, Kimi chuckles, but he appears at his side a moment later. With a glance to the side, Charles discovers a very intrigued look on the younger’s face as he takes Nineteen in. The shock that increases a little each time his eyes catch on another scar isn’t surprising in the least. Charles very clearly remembers feeling the same the first time he saw her.
It has his chest tighten with affection over Kimi’s show of empathy. Knowing he possesses it is a comfort greater than he can describe.
“Well, I think we’re on our own here.” Charles says when Nineteen stares at them for a couple of seconds, before deciding that she can’t be bothered with them and dedicates herself back to grazing.
“Alright,” Kimi tries and fails not to sound discouraged as he lets his gaze wander to the many different flowers around them. “I have collected these already.” — he holds up the daisies with a shrug — “I thought they make a nice foundation since they are… well, white.”
“That is great!” Charles smiles and points at some small, yellow ones that he believes are referred to as buttercups. “What about those? Yellow’s a happy colour.”
“Oh, yes! And they match this part of the daisy.” Kimi prods the pistil.
He doesn’t know much about flowers, Charles figures. It’s not something to be ashamed of. Princes who’ve been born into their roles — who were bred, born, and raised to be royal figures and nothing else — usually aren’t taught anything besides manners and politics. Everything else is unnecessary for them to waste their time with as they’ll never be confronted with it (and if they are, they have a servant to deal with it for them).
It has Charles wondering if this is the first time Kimi’s doing something like this, going out into nature and experiencing it for what it is, not the things he can gain from it. The way the boy tentatively grabs the bottom of the step of one of the buttercups, pulling on in for a while before he rips it off because he doesn’t know how much strength is needed to pick one, surely makes it seem like it is.
It’s a little sweet and a little sad all at once.
Charles can't imagine growing up any other place than outside. He lived on a small farm a little outside of an even smaller village, which meant he spent every waking hour out on the fields or on the pasture with the animals. And whenever Charles had gotten a break, he’d run to the nearby bit of forest (a group of pine trees) and climb around there.
It taught him a lot of skills and general knowledge about… everything? Charles definitely wouldn’t be the person he is today if he’d been a cooped up, protected prince all his life. Maybe that’s why most of the others are such pompous dickhea-
“These are pretty!”
Kimi’s exclamation rips Charles from his thoughts. The young Prince stands a bit further away now, holding up another flower. Charles squints, gives up, and walks over to him to take a better look. It’s a large ball consisting of tiny white blossoms that he, embarrassingly, doesn’t know the name of.
“Very,” He agrees when his eyes catch on a gathering of curious looking purple flowers. “What about these?”
“Perfect!”
Together, they forage on until Kimi holds a very nice, full bundle of flowers in his hand. Very satisfied with themselves, they sit down again, somewhere in the middle ground between the horses.
“He is very pretty.” Charles nods at Faolen.
Kimi rolls his eyes, but grumpily admits, “Yes, he is. Even if he is a stubborn devil. But if I didn’t have to ride him, I would have exchanged him for a less difficult horse long ago.”
“You have to ride him?” Charles arches a brow as he finally decides to lay back, crossing his arms behind his head for support.
Kimi mimics him almost instantly as he pushes out a deep sigh. It’s not the kind of sound someone his age should be able to make.
“He’s the son of my brother's horse.” He explains.
“Brutus produced that?” Charles huffs in disbelief. “That ugly-”
“No, not George’s stallion.” Kimi laughs a little and shakes his head. “And I agree, Brutus is rather ugly.”
They both chuckle to themselves, but when the humour subsides Charles slowly realise whose horse they are talking about then. He’s quiet for a moment, because exactly what do you say to that?
But he has to say something, right? As someone who’s lost both a father and an older brother around the same age as Kimi, Charles should be able to figure out the perfect way to approach the situation.
His mind stays blank on any helpful solutions, though, littered with all the things he remembers hating about that time. His mother falling apart, hearing her cry herself to sleep every night. Looking into Arthur’s confused eyes, but not being able to properly explain to him what was happening, because Charles hadn’t even understood it himself, really. Having to step up and be there for both of them, while taking over the overdue tasks left behind by two men he was still grieving.
And the empty platitudes. Oh, how Charles hated those.
Every time someone said that “it was all part of a big plan” or “that they are in a better place now” Charles wanted to punch them in the face. Repeatedly. So, sure, he knows what not to say, but-
“I just feel like I have to keep him… if you understand what I mean.” Kimi’s voice is quiet, barely carrying all the way to Charles. “If I don’t, I’d- I’d… Well, I’d break my mother’s heart and shatter my father’s pride. George would lose his mind, because he wanted Faolen desperately, but Nico promised him to me before he died…”
As Kimi’s voice gives in, Charles feels like a weight is pressing down on him. It’s right there, at the centre of his chest, heavy as a boulder and cold as a block of ice.
It’s not pity, but sympathy. A deep understanding.
“And I… It’s not like I have much of him left with me. I mean, I can barely remember him. He was gone or busy and if he did have time, he’d spend it sparring with George… I used to watch them from the window of my room and beg my tutors to let me join them, but they always said that I’d have to wait until I’m older and now-” Kimi breaks off with a wet, barely suppressed sound, turning away so Charles can’t see the expression on his face when he glances over.
There’s a small tremor in his shoulders, just strong enough for the older to know that he’s holding back a sob, and his hands are balled into fists.
Charles knows exactly what he wanted to say: Now I’m older and he’s gone and all the things I was promised I’d experience with him are long forgotten about.
But Kimi hasn’t forgotten about them. Charles knows that for a fact, because he hasn’t forgotten about all the things Lorenzo promised to do with him once they were older.
Tears prick at his eyes too and he has to try his absolute hardest not to sniff when he goes for more air to relieve him from some of the pressure on his lungs.
“I have Faolen and that is it.” Kimi says, his voice more stable, hardened with that certain mix of grief and anger and resignation that only a death in the family can cause in a person. “So, yes… It’s a good thing he’s pretty.”
They are quiet for a while, watching the clouds blow past the pristine blue sky lazily. Their thoughts are almost audible in the quiet hum of spring, yet it takes Charles longer to get them in order. Just as he opens his mouth to speak, Kimi cuts in, nervous and small, squeaky in that way that adolescents are.
“I know I must sound spoiled or ungrateful, but-”
“Not at all!” Charles interrupts a bit too quickly, nearly leading him to stumble over his own words. He pushes on anyway, because this is important. For him as much as for Kimi. “I- When my father died, he left me a jacket. It was his favourite, wore it every day for as long as I can remember. And I was so, so proud that I was the one who’d get to wear it after he passed.”
Charles takes a break and a deep breath. This isn’t exactly one of his favourite topics to talk about — or think of even — but he will do it if the situation warrants it.
And, unlike Kimi, he doesn’t mind the hints of him getting emotional showing, so he pushes on despite the tremble in his voice.
“So imagine how disappointed I was when I put it on for the first time and hated it! It was horrible. And I am not exaggerating! I swear, it was the scratchiest piece of fabric I’ve ever put on, and it was too large as well. The sleeves kept getting in the way while I was working and the hem kept getting caught on fences and gates-” Charles chuckles, even if it sounds a little wet. Maybe a couple tears are running down his face. “It took me months to admit that I couldn’t go on like that.”
He can feel Kimi’s eyes on him, so he turns his head, blades of grass tickling his cheek as his eyes meet the warm brown ones staring back at him. There’s pain there, but curiosity too. Hope, one might call it.
“What did you do with it?” Kimi asks, a little breathless, his voice taut with anticipation.
Clearly, he is wishing for a specific answer, one that will relieve him from his guilt and duty towards his dead brother. Charles is happy to give him exactly that.
“I put it away. Stored it safely in my closet, so I can take it out any time I miss him a little more than I normally do.” Charles smiles to himself when he notices that he started playing with a slight, thin ring on the middle finger of his left hand. He holds it up to show Kimi. “I wear my brother's ring every day, but that’s because it fits me perfectly.”
“Oh, you…” Kimi’s eyes grow large when he realises what that ring means. “I am so-”
“It’s alright. I’ve grieved, I’ve moved on.” Charles clears his throat and sits up, so he can look at the younger Prince properly as he drives home the point he’s making. “What I am trying to say is that remembering someone will do more harm than good. For a week or so, I started resenting the memory of my father, because the only thing that would make me think of him was that damn jacket and- God, I really hated that thing.”
Kimi nods slowly. He props himself up on his elbows, curls all over the place as he turns his head towards Faolen. A small frown appears on his face as he thinks, eyes narrowing at the stallion.
“I don’t hate him…” He admits after a little while. “I just- I don’t think we are compatible. Not in the way we should be.”
“That makes sense.” Charles says.
He leaves it at that, because he feels like he’s done all he can. Telling Kimi exactly what to do — to give the horse away, to stick it out for his family's sake, to simply own two horses because why not — feels wrong.
Sebastian always gave Charles a hint, the idea of a solution, but let him take his own decisions in the end. Whether that resulted in success or a mistake varied, but Charles always learned something in the process. And that’s what’s important.
They get back to the castle soon after, because Charles mentions something about flowers going bad if they are not put into water after being picked and suddenly Kimi can’t find a vase quick enough.
Back at the stables, they run into a bit of trouble as Faolen suddenly refuses to take a single step further towards his box and Nineteen, seemingly inspired by the stallion, starts prancing from left to right, back and fourth, making it really hard for Chalres to keep her reins in hand.
“I apologise, it’s his fault!” Kimi yelps as he pushes against Faolen with all his strength, feet stemmed against the ground and face red with the struggle.
“Oh, don’t worry about it!” Charles calls back, at least managing a grin as he tries to reach for Nineteen's face, hoping his touch might ground her. “She’s got a mind of her own as well.”
Eventually they get the situation back under control. Well, they don’t, but the carrots one of the stableboys happens to walk past do. Charles takes two of them with hurried thanks and throws one of them into Nineteen's pen. Without hesitation, the mare dives after the treat, making it fairly easy for Charles to close the gate behind her.
When he does the same with Faolen, the reaction is repeated nearly exactly the same way.
Kimi slumps against the nearest wall. He wipes a sheen layer of sweat off his forehead, grinning warily.
“Good thing we didn’t bring Leo, yes?”
“Oh, God forbid!” Charles laughs at the idea. “We would’ve been stuck here forever!”
As they make their way back to the castle, Kimi starts getting agitated. More than he usually is. He keeps fiddling with his belt, while his head rotates this and that way, nothing ever catching his attention.
So he’s thinking again, Charles figures.
He decides to give the boy time to sort his issues out on his own and silently walks beside him. For a moment, he even gets distracted himself, because they walk past two maids Charles only ever sees together when they have gossip to share, so he tries to listen in as they pass-
“Here!”
Charles is hit with a bunch of leaves. Quickly he turns to find Kimi pressing the bouquet against his arm. Without thinking, he takes it, brows furrowed in silent question.
“Well, our ways part here, since your chambers are up much further than mine-”
“Are you not coming with me?” Charles asks.
“No.” Kimi says quickly, then he scratches his neck, face heating up. “I, err… just let him know it’s from me, okay?”
“You can see him, you know? He won’t bite.” Charles smiles despite the small, irritated sting that jolts through his chest.
It’s not Kimi’s fault that Charles is getting frustrated by the wary attitude everyone has towards Max. He’s the last to be blamed as Max killed his brother (no matter the circumstances, Kimi still has a right to be cautious around him). Charles just hoped that Kimi — after all the care he’s shown towards Max — would be different-
“Well, you said he just woke up this morning. I simply don’t wish to upset him in his delicate state.” Kimi explains.
Oh.
Oh fuck, this kid is amazing.
Charles wants to cry and hug him. It’s like a healing warmth, hearing someone talk about Max that way, with worry for him and his health.
“That is most kind of you.” Charles says, not giving into the urge entirely, but calming it by squeezing the younger Prince’s shoulder before he takes a step back. His eyes fall on a single daisy that Kimi still holds in his hands. “Who’s that for?”
Oh and Kimi blushes more furiously than Chalres has ever seen him blush before. It’s an adorable sight. The embarrassment is so obvious in its nature that Charles knows what is going on immediately.
He himself used to look like that when he was young and a handsome knight or stableboy or noble caught his eye. He doesn’t say anything, though, biting his tongue and grinning knowingly as Kimi stutters for a harmless explanation.
“Its for Sir Ollie, but- It’s only a gesture of my appreciation for all the help he gave me the night Max was tortured-” Kimi stumbles through words like they’re a maze and before he can even make it through all the way, his eyes snap to Chalres, bright with panic. “Or do you think he will be insulted by it? Usually knights do not receive flowers. Especially not from Princes-”
Charles laughs, but immediately snaps his mouth shut when Kimi’s eyes widen even further at the sound. He swallows his amusement and tries again.
“He will adore it, I am sure of it. Even if he pretends to be unimpressed by it at first.” Charles rolls his eyes fondly. “Sir Ollie is just trying to prove that he is just as tough as the other knights because he cannot stand being the youngest.”
“Oh… That is kind of sweet.” Kimi smiles, then he gives Charles an appreciative nod and turns around. Probably to go and find Ollie.
“He’s probably out on the training yard!” The older Prince calls after him, unable to keep the teasing lilt from his voice.
But Kimi simply shouts back, “I know!”
Of course he does. How could Charles not know that?
With the widest grin ever, Charles marches back to his chambers to deliver the bouquet by himself. The small, anxious pinch at the bottom of his stomach that wants him to worry about whether or not Max will like it is ignored.
Because why would Charles care about that? He’s not fourteen and in love like Kimi, right?