Archive of Our Own

kai hates to be spoken to before his third cup of coffee in the morning.

he sucks at hiding it sometimes, but it’s not really something personal. it would be more of a psychological conditioning kind of thing, if you ask him.

the first coffee of the day is sacred, always unquestionably homemade, meant to wake his body up. it’s never instant. kai makes sure to wake up a bit earlier than he needs just to boil some water and brew it properly. he doesn’t mind that ground coffee is a bit more expensive because he likes it better that way, and thinks instant coffee just doesn’t hit the same. 

the second cup is usually at work, meant to get his brain running. doesn’t have much of a hit, but if kai skips it, he gets a headache like clockwork by around 8:30 am, and he usually prefers to avoid that.

the third cup comes not long after. kai fills his mug to the brim and drinks it a little too fast, borderline reckless, chasing the moment when the caffeine finally kicks in and he can gather himself and actually get to work.

for kai, the first coffee of the day is a ritual. the second is damage control and the third is the one that actually works, because only then does the static in his head quiet down enough for numbers and code to start making sense.

he hasn’t always been like that, using coffee as a coping mechanism. the habit had just come naturally. the turning point, when a good cup of coffee evolved from a simple pleasure to a crucial part of his routine, must have been his last year of college. late nights, too much to study, not enough time to sleep. at that time he’d been living off instant noodles, red bulls and whatever kept him awake long enough to get through it, which was hardly anything healthy and balanced.

the habit stuck. even now, years after graduating and settled into a stable job, kai still finds himself needing an immoderate amount of caffeine to function.

the man currently works as a mid-level risk analyst at one of the biggest banks in the country. the branch he is settled in operates more like an administrative nerve center, tucked inside a much larger financial organism. the work that happens there is quieter: it’s where the decisions are thought, organized, documented and shaped into presentations long before they ever reach their clients.

it’s a system that is big enough for nobody to really know anyone, but small enough that even the silliest mistakes get noticed; the kind of company that has four floors, over two hundred employees and a solid hr team, but people would hold back laughter if someone took longer than ten seconds to project their screens while presenting on a teams video call. 

hueningkai’s job is mostly about identifying seemingly small problems before they become actual disasters. identifying credit and market risks, suspicious transactions, monitoring KRIs and all kinds of unusual stuff. in a nutshell, his work is all about numbers in finance that look harmless until they suddenly start to look bad. at least that’s how he always describes it to people when they ask what he does for a living.

a role in finance wasn’t exactly kai’s childhood dream job, but it wasn’t that bad either. honestly, he could say he actually likes his job a lot, because at least it’s not customer service – which would be kai’s worst nightmare, conflict-avoidance running deep in his veins. kai is very much of a numbers person, and also brilliant at it, so it was no surprise he ended up choosing a career in STEM. 

most of his days revolve around power bi dashboards, spreadsheets, reports, meetings, the twenty SQL query tabs he always has open and the perfect amount of caffeine. but some days… some days are worse.

kai hears the keyboard clattering and heated phone calls before he even enters the office that morning, second cup of coffee already in hand. he can practically feel the weight of the dark circles under his eyes. heavy and tired eyebags as he still feels half asleep, hoping that his body would catch on to the caffeine and eventually recover from the few hours of sleep he got the previous night. however, he’s still as polite as everyday, nods at people and makes small talk on the way to his desk.

this kind of corporate job, kai quickly learned, was actually quite simple to deal with.

arrive on time. talk to people enough to memorize their faces and names, but don’t draw too much attention to yourself. get your shit done. clock out. repeat, five days a week, from eight in the morning to six o’clock. occasionally go on happy hours with your coworkers. that shit is a piece of cake.

when he reaches his desk, kai drops his crossbody work bag, turns on his computer, and sits down. he sighs, closing his eyes for a moment, like he needs some time to remind himself that this is his life: this is his job, he has real responsibilities in his hands, and a load of tasks to deal with. but this is the routine he used to beg for in his college days, this is the effort that pays his bills and he has to be grateful for it. then he breathes in deeply as he comes back to himself, snaps his eyes open and types in his password.

kai does his usual morning checkings and, thankfully, everything is in order just like the day before. numbers, graphs, alerts, pipelines. everything seems to be in place and at least a little bit predictable.

kai really is a numbers person, and he likes that a lot about himself, but it’s just a shame that fate must have felt the need to give him terrible social anxiety to balance that out. he’s always had a hard time making friends, all because people weren’t that easy for him to read.

and unfortunately, there is one specific person who makes his mornings significantly less predictable, every single day since he started this job.

his boss, choi soobin.

soobin is the kind of person people naturally look up to. of course, he’s the boss after all, but it is also because he tends to carry himself with the confidence of someone who always knows exactly what they’re doing. it might also be because he’s young enough for people to be caught off guard when they learn he is the head of the bank’s entire risk team, and has a resume that makes even senior managers fix their postures when meeting him. 

soobin simply being present makes a room settle without him needing to say a word, and people have to make an effort to avert their gaze when he walks in. he is admired from a distance, whispered about over coffee machines and computer screens, observed from the moment he walks in until the moment he leaves a room. 

and honestly, kai gets it.

choi soobin is the complete opposite of the common image of the unkind, arrogant type of boss people tend to complain about. if anything, he tries, maybe a little too hard, to come across as approachable. 

regardless, there was this unspoken rule set on kai’s department that people would abide by, which was maintaining a safe distance from the boss. it might be because standing too close feels like standing in front of some kind of celebrity. 

soobin is disgustingly educated, unfairly tall and effortlessly handsome. his looks alone are inexplicably hypnotizing: a charming, dimpled smile. fluffy black hair, always perfectly framing his face. dark brown eyes framed by round glasses that fit his face just right and bring him a casual look, as if he is too aware of the effect he has and is constantly trying to tone it down. 

it isn’t very effective anyway.

kai is no better than everyone else and he obviously notices when soobin walks in that morning. notices the sound of his voice when he says good morning to everyone he crosses paths with. notices when he stops at someone’s desk to talk or hand out tasks that are more urgent personally. notices a bit too much the way his cute little dimples show when he smiles.

it’s deeply inconvenient, and terribly distracting, but kai can’t help but notice. he can never get enough of noticing small bits of his boss’s magnetic personality through day-to-day interactions.

soobin is sharp. knows how to keep calm under pressure, even when everything seems like falling apart. soobin loves to roll up his sleeves and wear black converse all stars to work, dresses himself like he forgets he’s one of the most important people in the building. kai is pretty sure soobin would show up in sweaters if there weren’t guidelines on the corporate dress code which strictly prohibited him to do so.

kai doesn’t blame him, though. soobin seems to never have had the need to second-guess himself a single day in his life, and his confidence does the talking for him. he didn’t need a three piece suit for people to take him seriously.

and kai hates how much he likes that. 

kai also hates that he has to add the do not eyefuck your boss item to his to-do list, the little survival guide he had set for himself to survive in a corporate environment and had been following since his very first internship.

because this hell of a presence is always far too distracting, the kind that makes kai reread the same chunk of code at least three times because his brain keeps wandering somewhere it most definitely shouldn’t while at work.

he could list them for hours on end, the subtle details about soobin that are so, so unique and so him. soobin’s the kind of person who explains catastrophic financial exposure like they’re describing the weather. the kind of person who never brags, even when they have so much to brag about. the kind of person who always remembers everyone’s name.

the kind of person who stops by kai’s chair, snakes a hand to the side of his arms on the desk when his eyes are glued to the computer screen, and tilts his head a little when he says: “morning, huening-ah! how are the overnight flags looking?”

which is simply unfair, because kai is never emotionally prepared for eye contact with soobin before coffee number three.

he jumps slightly in his seat, startled, but smiles at his boss and gives him a brief overview of the flags. kai’s heart is skipping in a way that has nothing to do with his coffee addiction, but he’s already used to it just doing that when soobin is this close to him.

when soobin wraps up their quick talk, hueningkai glances up as his boss crosses the office, heading to his room. soobin looks almost elegant, long legs moving unhurriedly through the rows of desks that stretch across the wide, rectangular room, until he reaches the glass walls of his office at the very end. kai watches as soobin disappears behind the transparent door, until he can only see his blurry silhouette placing his stuff on his desk in the distance.

kai only notices he’s been staring for way too long when taehyun, one of his closest coworkers whose desk faces his own, meets his eyes. kai’s cheeks begin to warm as he imagines how dumb he must have looked just now, and he quickly presses his lips into a small smile, hoping taehyun couldn’t catch his stupid act. 

taehyun smiles back immediately. it’s a tired, crooked little smile, dark eyebags also visible beneath his thin glasses, as if saying, “one more day at work, huh?” he shrugs slightly before turning his attention back to his computer screen. kai does the same, as if they’ve silently agreed to survive the next eight hours.

however, kai is caught off guard when a small notification slides into the corner of his screen. the purple icon of microsoft teams lights up in his taskbar, and kai feels his heart beating slightly faster as he reads the preview. it’s soobin.

kai, can you come to my office for a minute?

kai blinks. it’s just a short, polite message from his boss, but his sleep-deprived brain is still barely functional, so his thoughts drift absentmindedly and kai hates where they land. normal people would most likely just worry about being fired. his cheeks get even warmer as he types back an answer.

coming.

sometimes, kai freaks out a little just thinking about how bad he wants soobin.

of course, he would never act on it. kai would rather die than be the center of some office drama and he unfortunately is also pretty sure soobin is not interested in men, anyway. so he just lets the one-sided crush exist, quiet and from a safe distance, just so he has one more reason to wake up and go to work every day that is more fun than paying his bills.

even so, the simple act of heading to soobin’s office always feels like a walk of shame. kai wonders if his coworkers can see right through him, if they can read his mind, if they can spot it written all over his face: how embarrassingly down bad for soobin he really is. he’s so paranoid he can’t really grasp the fact that everyone is minding their own business at that moment, far too occupied to care about his silly crush on his cute boss.

kai knows he can be seen through the glass, but knocks twice anyway before pushing the door open. soobin lifts his eyes from his monitor and smiles lightly. kai’s breath falters because he has no right to look that handsome this early in the morning.

“hey, boss,” he tries to say casually as he bows slightly, but it comes out in a quiet, controlled voice.

“hey, kai,” soobin answers and studies his face for a second. “you didn’t sleep.”

kai frowns a bit because that was not a question.

the thing is, soobin is excellent at his job, but he doesn’t always say the right thing. funny enough, small talk is always a must for him, probably always terrified of coming across as some kind of evil boss even if the possibility is almost nonexistent.

kai smiles with his mouth closed, not quite able to reciprocate the enthusiasm as his little morning coffee ritual had been interrupted. he tries his best to ignore the part of him that got a little too excited at soobin’s concern and runs his fingers through his blonde hair strands, suddenly unsure of what to do with his hands.

“don’t worry, i’m just fine. and how are you doing today?”

“oh, good, good,” soobin straightens the printed papers on his desk before learning forward, elbows resting against the wood, fingers interlaced under his chin. “listen, kai, i’m assigning you something for this week. it’s not really an emergency, but it’s still important and i’d like you to hand it over to me by friday, if possible. here, come closer so i can show you my screen.”

kai hesitates for a split second because talking to soobin is definitely easier from across his office. his shoulders tense a little.

stop being an idiot, kai tells himself before stepping closer to his boss’s desk. his eyes linger longer than they should, but kai can’t help but stare. gosh, those lips. soobin seems unaware as ever and simply turns his monitor in kai’s direction, one hand still resting on the mouse as he scrolls.

“so, i noticed that we’ve been getting some issues in the warehouse replication layer,” he says, his voice calm. “nothing critical yet, but the latency spikes are starting to show up in the morning reports, and it’s making me feel a bit uneasy.”

soobin scrolls a little, eyes narrowing at the graph.

“it’s small enough to go unnoticed for now, but if it stacks over a few days, it could start affecting exposure numbers. worst case, we end up reporting something we can’t fully reconcile.”

kai nods automatically, trying to make sense of his words, even though his attention keeps snagging on the way soobin absently bites his thumb while studying the graph, vibrant colors glowing across the screen and reflecting in his round glasses. his eyes look so bright.

“i’m not entirely sure where it’s coming from yet,” soobin continues. “it could be ETL delays, maybe something upstream in ingestion. i don’t know, but this inconsistency is pissing me off.”

he slightly turns his monitor a bit more toward kai.

“so what i need,” soobin continues, glancing back at kai, “is for you to pull the raw transaction data from the source tables and reconcile it with what’s showing in the reporting layer. but not just totals, if you can, check the record-level mismatches too.”

soobin pauses briefly, leans a little closer to point at something on the screen, and suddenly kai is hyperaware of how close he is.

“start with the last thirty days,” soobin says. “especially high-value transfers. if there’s any data drift, it’ll show there faster.”

something hot and restless curls low in kai’s stomach and it most certainly wasn’t because of inconsistencies in the fucking warehouse.

his brain briefly stops retaining information, soobin’s words and the raspy sound of his voice becoming blurred as he starts cataloguing the sensory nonsense instead. kai’s traitorous eyes are fixed on the line of soobin’s jaw when he talks, on the way his sleeves are rolled up, forearms exposed, veins shifting whenever he gestures. on the fine strands of  hair on his forearm.

at this point, his brain was just liquid.

and that was way too close.

an intrusive and unfairly vivid flash of being crowded into this very desk crosses his mind. those calm hands suddenly not calm at all, both men’s composure and professionalism cracking open into something hungrier and undoubtedly inappropriate for the workplace.

kai forces his eyes back to the screen.

“after that,” soobin goes on, seeming completely unaware of the chaos happening across from him, “build a reconciliation query that flags timing gaps between ingestion and reporting. i think even a few seconds of delay might tell us where things are breaking.”

he glances at kai. “doesn’t need to be pretty, just needs to be accurate. if there’s a pattern, i want to see it before the month-end closes. did you get it?”

his voice drops slightly on the last sentence.

kai swallows.

his pulse is loud in his ears, heat crawling up his neck. it’s like kai forgets how to behave himself around soobin. it worried him a bit that he couldn’t recall the last time he managed to hold a full conversation without having inappropriate thoughts about his boss at least once.

it’s mortifying.

“kai?”

he blinks, drags himself back into the room and nods once, maybe a little too fast.

“y-yeah. raw logs. compare against the reporting layer. reconciliation query. got it.”

“good,” soobin says and gives kai a small, approving nod. “if you need any more details, just send me a chat. or feel free to come by again.”

his stupid perfect fucking smile almost makes kai’s heart combust. and if he doesn’t leave the room in the next minute, he thinks he might actually combust.

“yeah. right. i’ll get right into it.”

kai leaves soobin’s office and walks to his desk with rehearsed footsteps, trying to keep his face relaxed. people in corporate are always helplessly nosy, especially whenever someone gets called to the boss’s office, and the last thing he could possibly want is rumors about him starting to spread.

the man sighs as he sits and clears his throat a bit louder than needed, a subtle hint for his coworkers to stop staring. it’s always effective.

hueningkai wastes no time and logs into the source database first, fingers moving automatically across the keyboard. by now, the structure is already familiar to him. he starts off by pulling the last thirty days of logs, scans for anything obvious, missing records, anything that looks wrong but, initially, nothing does.

the man leans back slightly, twirling the lanyard of his id card between his fingers before dragging a hand down his face. then he leans forward again, closer this time, eyes narrowing at the screen, focus sharpening bit by bit.

“okay… not that easy,” kai mutters to himself.

the first queries come out rough, results pending more generally than precisely. kai refines them as he goes, without thinking much about it, shaving off unnecessary joins, tightening filters, narrowing the time window.

one adjustment at a time, the office fades and minutes blur into hours. but this is the part he’s good at. it’s the part where everything else quiets down and the world narrows into something solvable.

numbers don’t usually get complicated unless there’s a reason. systems don’t hesitate unless something makes them. there’s always a pattern, always a cause, and you just have to sit long enough to see it.

and kai does exactly so. he sits, he looks, he keeps going. and somewhere between the previous and the next cup of coffee, between one query and the next, kai finally finds it.

hours pass without him noticing, and his workspace slowly starts to look the way it always does when he’s deep in something: impossibly chaotic, in a way that only makes sense to himself. open SQL editor on one screen, monitoring dashboards on the other, another half-written query sitting in the middle of it all like a thought he hasn’t finished yet.

he eats his lunch by his desk. at some point, taehyun says something from across the desk and kai hums in response without even looking up. he was too deep in thought, caffeinated enough to keep focused and determined to come up with a report until the end of the day.

when kai runs the final query, the results come through clearly. 

he leans back, fills his lungs as he breathes and exhales slowly through his mouth, tension slipping out of his shoulders all at once. he’s finally done, and there’s still half an hour before he can clock out.

he reaches for his mouse and opens microsoft teams, the familiar purple icon lighting up his taskbar. soobin’s name sits near the top of his recent chats.

kai hesitates, just for a second, then clicks on the chat. his fingers nervously hover over the keyboard before he starts typing.

hey, i’ve got something on the replication issue. think i found where the delay is coming from. let me know if you want me to walk you through it.

he reads it over once or twice, then hits send before his brain overthinks about it. the message is delivered almost instantly.

kai leans back in his chair, rolling his shoulders once, trying to ignore the faint anticipation settling in his chest.

it doesn’t take long before a notification pops up.

kai? already?

kai’s lips press into a small, involuntary smile.

three dots appear, then disappear, and then come back again.

i didn’t expect you to finish this fast.

i’ll take a closer look on my end. can you come by in a bit?

kai exhales quietly through his nose, something warm and familiar flickering in his chest before he can stop it.

“yeah,” he murmurs under his breath.

he pushes his chair back, smoothing his shirt out of habit, eyes flicking briefly around the office, quick and subtle, making sure no one’s paying him too much attention.

then he stands and makes his way to soobin’s office again, knocks twice before pushing the glass door open.

soobin barely looks up at first, eyes still on his monitor. “come in.”

kai steps inside, closing the door softly behind him. soobin’s office feels quieter than the main floor, the faint hum of the air conditioning filling the space between them.

“hey,” kai says, keeping his voice even.

“hey,” soobin replies, already gesturing him closer. “come here.”

kai steps around the desk, stopping just at soobin’s side, close enough to see the screen clearly. close enough to notice the faint crease between soobin’s brows as he scrolls through the query results.

for a moment, neither of them says anything.

soobin reads some chunks of code kai’s sent him along with the final report. really reads it, not just half-paying attention like most people would, but trying to fully understand the train of thought behind the solution he came up with.

his eyes move steadily across the screen, following the logic, the joins, the structure. one hand rests on the mouse, the other comes up absentmindedly, thumb brushing against his lower lip as he thinks.

kai stays still and waits.

he tells himself he’s just giving soobin space to review, but he’s suddenly hyperaware of everything. the proximity, the quiet, the way he can see the reflection of the screen in soobin’s glasses.

soobin scrolls back up. then down again.

“...so you filtered by transaction size first,” he says finally, more to himself than to kai.

“yeah,” kai answers, voice low. “figured it’d show up there faster if anything was off.”

soobin hums softly, and there’s another silent pause.

then he leans forward slightly, eyes narrowing at a section of the query. as if he hadn’t spent the past few hours working on the thing, rewriting and re-reading it over and over again, kai instinctively leans in too, just enough to follow, their shoulders almost brushing.

almost.

“and this delay here,” soobin continues, pointing at the screen, “you’re tracking it between ingestion and reporting?”

“to the second,” kai nods.

soobin quickly glances at him then, and something unreadable flickers across his face before he looks back at the screen.

“...that’s really good.”

soobin scrolls again, slower this time, like he’s double-checking, like he’s trying to find something wrong, but he doesn’t. kai made sure it was perfect before sending it, so he obviously doesn’t.

after a moment, the boss leans back in his chair, relaxed, exhaling softly.

“to be honest, i didn’t expect you to get this far with it already,” he admits, turning slightly toward kai. “this is really solid. i’ll analyze your report a bit further, but it’s absolutely going to be helpful.”

kai swallows, nodding once.

“thanks.”

soobin studies him for a moment.

and then, that smile. a quiet, genuine one that softens his face and pulls just slightly at the corners of his mouth, cute dimples pressing in, the kind that reaches his eyes and makes kai’s heart tighten inside his chest.

“i knew i could count on you,” there’s a short pause. “good job, kai.”

hueningkai simply nods, a small smile settling on his lips, like it doesn’t do anything to him. like it’s just another line exchanged on a normal workday.

“i’m happy to help.”

but it isn’t. because that was the easiest way he could ever get to have the one thing he’s not supposed to want, even if only indirectly. 

there are lines kai would never cross. thoughts he would never act on. impulses carefully buried deep down under routine, discipline and something that feels a little bit too much like shame.

but there are safer ways to want someone, ways that don’t get you in trouble, and productivity is one of them. simply because it is allowed. encouraged, even.

kai can stay late, obsess over patterns, rewrite the same query endlessly, focus on inconsistencies so small most people wouldn’t even notice, and no one would question it. no one would look too much into it because, after all, that’s just him being good at his job. that’s just him putting some effort in.

and then kai’s effort shows, and it earns him that kind of validation which makes the hours he spends obsessing over his work feel worth it. in those moments, he’s not being too obvious, too much, or too anything besides just useful. reliable.

besides someone soobin can count on.

and when it’s over, when a task is finished and handed back, kai can get this kind of look from soobin. a warm, approving look. and he doesn’t have to do anything except stand there and simply take it.

this way, everything is much simpler. kai doesn’t need to risk making a fool of himself, seeking attention from his boss like a dog that does tricks in exchange for food. he is allowed to be good at his job, and he is lucky to be recognized for it. his work gives him a reason to be closer without feeling guilty. an opportunity to be seen. 

it gives him a reason to hear soobin say his name like that, and maybe that was enough. that’s what he likes to tell himself.

by the time the office lights dim and the steady sound of keyboard clattering fades into silence, kai sometimes finds his thoughts drifting in a way that had nothing to do with risk reports or replication delays. it’s a fragile kind of daydream, one he tries to handle carefully, in which he imagines soobin stepping out of the building with that same easy confidence, hands tucked into his pockets as life happens around him.

he imagines his daily commute. maybe he takes the train, standing by the door with his headphones in, his gaze distant, thinking of who knows what. maybe he drives, one hand on the wheel, the other absentmindedly tapping against it to a song on the radio. or maybe he simply walks, to clear his head after a long day of indulging in manager duties. 

kai wonders if he stops somewhere, or if he calls someone on the way home; if his voice would be gentler than it usually is. he wonders if someone is waiting for him at home. if there’s someone in soobin’s life who gets to see the side of him that’s unguarded, easy and real. if his home is a place where that capable and efficient version of his boss softens and his laughter comes easier, where he doesn’t have to be so alert and hold everything together so tightly all the time. 

and without even meaning to, kai slips himself into those imagined spaces and routine. imagines himself walking by his side, just close enough for their shoulders to brush. sitting across from him at a quiet dinner, poking soobin’s shoe with his own under the table. existing in the small and ordinary corners of a life he doesn’t belong to.

hueningkai imagines himself being someone soobin comes home to, instead of someone he leaves behind at the office every evening.

it’s a selfish, unrealistic kind of daydreaming, and kai knows it, so he tries to never let those thoughts linger too much. unfortunately, they happen very often and never seem to fully go away. they stay with him, settling somewhere deep in his chest, and it aches, it’s heavy and warm and impossible to ignore, and he can’t help but feel so, so stupid about it.

that night, kai gets home and does something he’s not proud of, but can never stop himself from doing.

he undresses and heads to the shower. the warm water rinses away the heaviness of the workday, but it could never wash off the filth in his mind as he thinks back and remembers that dimpled smile. it’s all he can think about, along with those rolled up sleeves that show just enough of his firm forearms to make kai’s stomach twist.

he remembers soobin’s calm, satisfied tone as he praised hueningkai for his work. kai wishes he could keep those praise words at a quiet pace inside his mind, where they would remain the way they were: simple and professional. but it always slips. he always ends up ruining it. 

good job, kai, the fresh memory is strong in kai’s mind, which reshapes something good into something filthy without warning.

his own mind twists them before he can stop himself, and he imagines that very same voice telling him all kinds of inappropriate things. it makes him feel wrong, embarrassed, like he’s committing a crime when using his boss as fuel for his dirty thoughts. but it makes him hornier than embarrassed.

kai touches himself right then and there. he is already hard when his hand moves, pumping his cock in slow strokes. his head tips back against the tile, panting, letting his eyes fall closed as if avoiding looking at himself doing it would make it feel less shameful.

“fuck,” he breathes, his muffled voice barely audible over the running water. his hand speeds up, working faster as he pleasures himself.

he finishes quickly, letting the water clean his mess as it runs over his skin. as he watches everything being washed away down the drain, kai wishes that simply taking a long bath could wash off the immense guilt he’s been feeling more often than not.

***

later that week, soobin shows up wearing a perfectly tailored three-piece suit.

his crisp white shirt is buttoned all the way up and a black tie is pulled tight against his collar. the suit fits soobin like it was made for him, the vest snug and neat underneath, and his polished black leather shoes were clicking softly against the floor with every step he took, announcing his presence through the hallway.

every quarter, all of the directors, branch managers and department managers gather for a whole-day meeting session to discuss the bank’s performance in the previous period, as well as aligning growth strategies for the incoming one.

these meetings were never much of a big deal for soobin. his easygoing yet firm personality allows him to present his hardworking team’s reports and contribute to risk-preventing decisions without stuttering once.

whenever the day would come, soobin would always alert his team beforehand that he’d lock his calendar for the entire day, disappear into the meeting rooms and, when it’s finally over, invite them all for a happy hour to celebrate their good results.

that morning, however, kai and his coworkers are all taken aback by the sight. because why the hell would their boss be wearing an obviously expensive, overly formal work attire, and fucking polished leather shoes on a random friday after wearing converse the whole week?

their initial shock doesn’t go unnoticed by soobin, who takes a deep breath before speaking.

“good morning, you all,” the boss mutters, his voice quieter than usual. “it’s the quarterly reports day.”

most of his team just let out an understanding noise and nod their heads, because it clicks right away. but kai’s still trying too hard not to stare. 

because it’s a bit hard to believe this is the same manager who jokes through deadlines, looking all formal and not entirely at ease, unlike his usual easygoing self.

but it’s mostly because soobin looks fucking hot in a suit.

“i forgot to let you guys know,” he breathes a little too loudly, runs his fingers through his black hair strands. “but mr. chairman lee will also be present this time around. no pressure. keep up the good work. i’ll be back in no time.”

and leaves, as unannounced as his arrival.

the whole floor is dead silent all of a sudden. no angry keyboard tapping, no frenetic mouse clicking, not even the usual phone arguing, only uncomfortable, pin-drop silence, broken by the low hum of the air conditioner. kai notices when people start to glance around, as if trying to see if someone else was thinking the same they were. 

in the end, the whole risk team was thinking of the exact same thing. it’s just that no one wanted to be the first to say it.

“i think it’s the first time i’ve seen him so nervous,” someone finally states after a bit, almost unsure if they’re allowed to say it out loud, but there’s a flood of agreement right after.

“if the chairman flew all the way here, there must be something serious going on,” another voice mutters, a bit tense, and quiet murmurs overlap all at once.

taehyun hovers over his desk, catches kai’s attention. “dude. are they gonna replace us with ai or something? fuck, i can’t lose this job,” he sighs.

“don’t anticipate your suffering,” kai chuckles. “i’m sure it’s no big deal, so why worry so much?” he says, half trying to convince himself as much as his conflicted coworker.

“fuck, kai,” the doe-eyed man swears, leaning a bit closer. “remember park donghwa?”

the referred man had quit several months before. really great analyst, never missed a day, never arrived a minute late. unfortunately, felt like he wasn’t being paid enough for the quality of his work but the negotiations with the higher ups were never good for both parts. kai nods slowly as he sips on his coffee, keeping his expression neutral.

“all of his predictions and reports were, like, top tier. yet, he still has the open to work seal on his linkedin profile,” taehyun states. kai’s lips part slightly in surprise. “it’s not been easy out there, dude. that’s why.”

taehyun forgot to mention that the guy also had a shit personality and a short temper, which was probably why he was having a hard time replacing himself on the market. kai decides not to point that out.

“guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

the rest of the morning drags on in a simply unsettling way.

numbers blur on screens, reports take twice as long to review and even the smallest tasks seem to feel heavier than they normally should. kai’s coworkers try to get back into their usual rhythm, but there’s something just off about it. it seems forced, like everyone was just pretending that they were not waiting for something to happen, something big enough to justify the chairman’s sudden visit.

conversations die out halfway through, replaced by quick glances toward the main entrance, toward the meeting rooms, toward the hallway, toward anything that might give them a hint. even a notification sound would make someone flinch, every phone call would draw a little too much attention. sometimes, someone would go to the bathroom or head to the neighbor team’s office, trying to feel any glitch in the atmosphere.

and the same tension seems to bleed into the other departments as well. it feels like the entire floor is holding its breath, bracing for bad news that hasn’t come yet. kai, on the other hand, doesn’t feel that different. at least, not enough to matter.

he’s used to this kind of tightness in his chest, the low, constant buzz of anticipation sitting under his skin. if anything, the atmosphere just matches what his brain already does on a regular basis.

while everyone else seems thrown off balance, kai just settles into it, scrolling through his reports with a quiet sigh, like this is just another slightly weirder version of a normal work day, trying to not allow the chaos that surrounds him get into his head.

usually, lunch hour is the calmer part of the day. 

some people take longer breaks, some head out in groups to have lunch at nearby restaurants, and others gather in the corporate kitchen, sharing food, bottles of coke, gossip and whatever helps them face the rest of the day. but kai doesn’t do any of that.

most days, he eats at his desk, a quick, quiet lunch, scrolling through his phone or revisiting whatever he’d been working on in the morning. he was also usually alone during that time, too.

kai had hoped today wouldn’t be any different, but destiny had other plans.

when his lunch time arrives, kai takes his food from his bag, gets up and stretches a little before heading to the office kitchen for a quick heat-up. by the time he’s back, the risk team’s office room is already completely empty.

kai sighs as he sits back down, allowing himself to relax into the silence. the vibes in the office had just been off the whole morning, and it was a bit hard to hold himself back from panicking along. his food tastes especially bland today, maybe from the tension, as he ponders what was the worst that could possibly happen.

as he finishes eating, kai’s already pushing his chair back again with a grunt. “i really need some coffee right now,” he mutters to himself.

the hallway and the neighboring offices are quiet, most of them empty, kai notices as he makes his way to the coffee machine. he fills his cup and immediately heads back, revels in the warmth seeping into his fingers, stretches his neck and shoulders. he’s not really paying attention, mindlessly walking his usual path.

which is probably why he doesn’t notice that soobin is coming the other way, quick steps as he rummages through a pile of notes on his hands.

it happens really fast. soobin is suddenly right there, right on his face, and kai startles. his grip falters just enough for his cup to tilt, and hot coffee sloshes over the edge, a lot of it spilling straight onto his hand and arm.

“motherfuck-,” kai cuts himself off mid-word, because he can’t possibly curse in front of his boss, even though the coffee was so fucking hot he felt the burn through his clothes.

kai jerks back on instinct, more startled than hurt, staring down at the spreading stain across the fabric of his white striped shirt. then he looks up at his boss, who initially looks terrified.

“god, kai, i’m so sorry. are you okay?” soobin asks immediately, a now concerned look on his face. “sorry, it’s my fault. i wasn’t paying attention.”

“it’s okay,” kai winces. the damp fabric against his skin feels awful. soobin’s eyes immediately darted over to the stain.

“you’re gonna need to change,” soobin states, reaching into his pocket for something.

no shit, kai thinks to himself. however, he’s not angry at soobin. how could he ever be? it was just an accident. he lets out an awkward laugh. “yes, i think so.”

“come to my office,” soobin says without hesitation. he gets his keys out of his pocket. “i’ve got a spare shirt.”

kai blinks, and his brain kind of short-circuits. it catches him off guard, not just by the offer, but by how quickly soobin offered.

“it’s okay, boss, i can just go home and change. i still have some lunch time left.”

“no need to go all the way home for that. i’ll lend you a clean shirt, it’s no problem.”

kai’s heart had been calm in his chest the whole day long, despite the nervousness in the atmosphere around him. but it ends up doing that thing it always does: it beats faster around soobin. it awakens in his chest and thumps faster just by the thought of wearing a piece of clothing that soobin has worn before. just by the thought of it smelling like him.

he quickly realizes he must have a stupid look on his face and lets out a light chuckle. “you just carry spare shirts around?” he asks, joking.

soobin’s expression softens as he exhales, something between amused and tired.

“sometimes the day calls for it, right?”

kai places his now half-empty cup on his desk and quietly follows soobin to his office, thankful that the room’s still empty, because explaining the whole situation would be absolute hell. he’s welcomed by the typical scent that only his boss’s office could ever offer.

“here,” soobin offers kai a clean, neutral-colored button shirt.

kai takes it and freezes. he knows he should probably ask to use the bathroom and change, but soobin is still looking at him, an amused glimpse on his eyes, like he’s waiting for something.

“give me your shirt. i can wash it for you.”

“oh- no, it’s okay, you really don’t have to. it was just an accident.”

“i insist.”

his tone is firm and kai saw no way to escape it. so he timidly starts to unbutton his shirt, his face certainly red as a tomato, fingers rushing over each other as he tries to not think too much into it and quickly get it over with. he turns his back to soobin, just so it’s a bit less mortifying, even though the glass doors of his office make him feel exposed anyway.

once he’s done changing, he turns around and soobin looks him up and down. kai thinks he might’ve imagined a grin forming on his lips. “fits you well,” soobin says.

he looks down at himself. soobin’s shirt was a bit wrinkled, like he had ironed it before but has been keeping it folded ever since. it was also slightly tight on him, which was simply natural, considering his physique was broader than soobin’s. luckily, his boss preferred wearing clothes that look loose on his lean, tall body, so the shirt fits just right around kai’s broad shoulders and pecs.

kai clears his throat as he hands soobin his coffee-stained shirt. “thank you.”

“don’t mention it,” he quickly starts to fold the piece.

there’s a long silence then, both men just staring at each other for a moment. and the moment stretches, awkward and motionless, to the point that kai starts to feel rather uncomfortable in the new shirt, almost suffocating.

soobin’s phone buzzes with a ding notification sound, to which he quickly reacts. he reads the text he just got and clears his throat, placing kai’s shirt on top of his desk before giving the blonde a warm smile.

“sorry. gotta head back. they’re waiting for me in the meeting room.”

“oh,” kai nods, unsure of the reason why soobin felt the need to explain himself. “sure.”

“you might want to get back to your desk,” he says, adjusting his black tie. “and try not to bump into anyone else today.”

kai huffs out a quiet laugh. “i’ll try my best.”

and just like that, soobin is gone again, leaving kai on his own to process whatever the fuck just happened.

***

the afternoon drags.

if the morning had been tense and suffocating, the afternoon was just awful. everybody was so restless and anxious that kai worried they would all collectively spiral, and he would be included that time around. maybe not for the same reasons, but still.

kai tries to focus on his tasks because, well, they were not going anywhere, no matter how he was feeling. so he goes through reports, fixes a couple of inconsistencies, answers a few emails, works on the new power bi panel he’d been structuring all week. 

however, time felt off, like it simply refused to pass. every now and then, someone would check the surroundings and whisper updates from the other floors: “they’re still in the main meeting room,” or “finance just got called in,” and “legal just arrived there”. it goes on like that for hours. whenever kai looks over his computer screen to check on taehyun, the poor man is chewing so hard on the inside of his cheeks he wouldn’t be able to taste lemon for a week.

by the time it’s nearing four, most of the team has already given up pretending they’re being productive. kai would look around and see that the screens were still on, some spreadsheets would still be open, but his coworkers’ attention would simply be elsewhere.

so, when some movement finally happens again, everyone notices.

it starts with footsteps at the end of the hallway. then, there’s voices: a lot of them. it’s anxiety mixed with a bit of worry that the whole risk team feels the split second that a group of people turn into their section of the floor, and there’s directors, managers, and a whole lot of unfamiliar faces. right in the middle is the chairman.

the room shifts immediately. people fix their postures, the low buzz of conversation dies instantly, someone clears their throat. kai turns on his chair just at the right time to see soobin walking with them, posture straight and his facial features relaxed, which makes it look like he was never nervous to begin with, even though they all had witnessed the opposite a few hours earlier.

the vision makes kai think, oh, this makes sense. he fits in just right among all of those important men and women. portraying himself in a different manner than the usual, black three-piece suit instead of the usual loose shirts and converse, it kind of clicks. that wasn’t just kai’s boss, soobin: that was choi soobin, risk manager. the days of the quarterly reports were always a good reminder of that fact for everyone.

soobin fully steps into the room, quickly spacing himself around for everyone else to accommodate into the office. “this is our risk department,” he proudly states, his voice clear and firm as he introduces his team. “these people are the ones who make it all happen. they’ve been responsible for the projections in the last two quarters.”

chairman lee takes his time to observe, eyes carefully moving across the space, the desks, the screens, the people. his gaze was a little intimidating, but that was expected. a single word from the man could fire an entire floor and have it replaced by the next morning.

the man, however, is not a villain. “impressive consistency,” he hums after a moment of contemplation. “your reports stood out.”

a small ripple moves through the team. kai glances at taehyun, who looks like he might actually pass out at any second.

soobin doesn’t miss a beat. “we focused on tightening our predictive models and reducing exposure in volatile segments,” he explains. “the team adapted exceptionally quickly.”

kai’s chest stills involuntarily. he remembers working on the mentioned projects, and a wave of fulfillment runs through his body. it felt good to be seen; to be a part of it all.

the chairman nods, shifting his attention from soobin to the team. “good work doesn’t go unnoticed,” he states. “especially not now.”

a bit more than a dozen people look attentively, eyes filled with expectation. the pause gets everyone impatient to know what’s next.

“as of the next quarter, our company will be expanding operations. a new branch, a larger scale, and larger volume. your department’s framework will be used as the baseline model moving forward.”

the reaction isn’t silent this time. there’s sharp inhales, exchanged looks and smiles, even a quick round of applause in which even the directors participate. it makes soobin all proud. kai knows it just by looking at his face.

finally, kai’s chest loosens. it wasn’t bad news, after all. not even close, it was the opposite, that was really big news. all of his coworkers were paranoid all day expecting a mass layoff or something like it, but the bank was actually opening a new branch. that was simply wonderful.

on the other hand, if there’s more work to do, then there’s more pressure as well. but no one is complaining. 

“we’ll need people who understand this system inside out,” the chairman continues. “i expect recommendations.”

soobin inclines his head slightly. “you’ll have them, mr. lee. count on us always!”

after a few more words, the group continues their tour, slowly moving out of the room and into the next department. soobin gives his team an approving smile before tagging along and, after that, he’s gone again.

there’s a beat of complete silence, where everyone seems to collectively let out the breath they’ve been holding all day long. the energy is much lighter now, buzzing with excitement. kai gives taehyun a knowing look.

“see? told you it wasn’t the end of the world,” kai jokes, to which taehyun can only laugh.

“should’ve trusted you, kai-yah. shit, i was already updating my resume in my head,” he mutters, earning a few snorts from the nearby desks.

not long after, soobin comes back by himself. no chairman, no directors and no managers, just soobin, and there’s relief written all over his face.

“hey, you guys!” the boss calls, a smile forming as he steps inside. “good job today.”

the room quiets down immediately.

“i mean it,” soobin adds, stepping further in, looking around at each person in the room. “you all have been working toward this without even knowing. and well, it paid off. i couldn’t ask for a better team. i am so, so proud of all of you,” he exhales, loosening his tie just slightly. “so,” he claps once and continues, a hint of his usual self slipping back in, “i thought i’d block everyone’s evening.”

a few people start smiling before he even finishes.

“happy hour,” he finishes. “we are definitely celebrating today. drinks on me. the usual place?”

the reaction from the team is instant. cheers, laughter, someone actually starts clapping.

“okay boss, now this is the kind of announcement i like to hear,” taehyun says, already reaching for his phone.

soobin lets out a quiet laugh, shaking his head a little at the reaction. “go ahead and get going,” he adds, gesturing toward the door. “i just need to wrap a couple of things up and i’ll meet you guys there in a bit.”

that only seems to energize them more. people quickly start gathering their things, shutting down computers, already talking over each other about drinks and food.

kai finally feels the weight of the day being removed off his shoulders.

***

“i have a feeling this is not gonna end well,” taehyun whispers, leaning closer to hueningkai.

the same people who carefully bow their heads when greeting each other every morning, who double-check emails before sending them, who keep their voices measured and polite even when they’re stressed, are currently licking salt from the back of their hands, slamming down shot glasses of tequila and reaching for slices of lime.

kai exhales a quiet laugh through his nose, amused. “yeah. but after today, i can’t blame them.”

“it’s 5 in the afternoon, kai,” taehyun snorts and kai takes a look at his glass. it’s full of untouched beer. “damn. this is just like seeing your teachers at the grocery store or something.”

kai actually laughs out loud at that. he has to admit that when he first entered the company, it was really weird to see that version of his coworkers, but he’s gotten used to it. he’s not really a drinker, but he always tags along for the company. it feels nice to hang out with his team outside of work. all the reports, spreadsheets and deadlines apart, they’re all pretty fun people.

kai takes a sip of his coke. as he’s watching, there’s something else that catches his attention. 

soobin finally arrives. he left his black suit and vest in his car, showing up wearing only the white shirt he had underneath and his black tie. his sleeves are already rolled up his forearms, as he habitually does, always pushing back against dressing overly formal.

a familiar sensation curls in kai’s stomach as he follows soobin with his eyes until he reaches their table, an amused smile on his lips.

“did you guys save some for me?” 

when the others realize soobin’s there, they all howl. someone quickly offers him a shot glass, which he immediately takes in hand. kai feels like he doesn’t need to hide his laughter then.

“boss! boss! boss!” they chant as soobin sends his first shot down his throat, and the whole table trembles as a dozen people repeatedly slam their palms right into it.

when soobin reaches for a slice of lime, someone whistles. someone else nearly spills their drink trying to refill his glass immediately after.

“hey, give him a second, you’re gonna kill him,” taehyun laughs, though he’s the first to push the bottle closer anyway.

soobin exhales sharply through his nose, a small grimace flashing across his face before it melts into a grin. “i leave you guys alone for a bit and this is what happens?”

“this is your fault,” someone from the other end of the table argues. “you gave us good news.”

soobin is laughing as he glances around the table before finally moving, and slides into the empty seat right beside kai.

and kai feels it immediately.

that same subtle shift in the air, the way his heartbeat picks up, like something just narrowed down to the space between them.

“you’re not drinking?” soobin asks, voice lower now, meant just for him.

kai glances at his glass, then back at him. “i am,” he says, lifting his coke with a small smile.

soobin huffs out a quiet laugh. “right. of course you are.”

their shoulders brush for a brief second when someone behind them leans over the table too far, trying to steal a lime slice. kai stills for half a heartbeat before forcing himself to relax again.

across from them, things are already getting worse. one of the analysts is attempting to balance three shot glasses on top of each other.

“this is a terrible idea,” taehyun says, not moving an inch to stop him.

“no, no, i’ve got it,” the man says as the glasses wobble.

they obviously don’t stay still and immediately crash down, tequila spilling everywhere. the whole table erupts.

“that was my drink!” someone complains.

“it was everyone’s drink five seconds ago,” another shoots back.

kai laughs again, shaking his head, and when he turns, he realizes soobin is already looking at him.

not at the chaos, but at him, and there’s something softer in his expression now. a little tired, of course, but definitely lighter.

“you handled today well,” soobin says quietly.

kai blinks, caught off guard. “suddenly?”

“well, yes?” soobin shakes his head slightly, shrugging. 

“thank you, boss, but… i didn’t really do anything.”

“you did your job without freaking out,” soobin replies simply. “that’s more than enough.”

with that, something clicks inside kai’s head and he realizes soobin has been acting weird toward him the whole week. noticing his lack of sleep, lending him a clean shirt, praising him for simply keeping calm. of course his boss knows about his insomnia and anxiety struggles, but it was just not usual for him to keep pointing them out. if kai didn’t know any better, he would think of it as something akin to… flirting.

but kai doesn’t really know what to do with that, so he just nods, looking down at his glass for a second before taking another sip.

“besides,” soobin adds, a hint of teasing slipping back in, “you survived your boss spilling coffee on you and lived to tell the tale.”

kai lets out a small laugh. “barely.”

“i should start bringing spare shirts more often.”

kai’s grip tightens just slightly around his glass. “yeah,” he says, trying to sound normal as he thinks about undressing himself in front of his boss again. “seems useful.”

another loud cheer pulls their attention back to the table because, apparently, someone has convinced two others to arm wrestle.

“i’m betting a thousand won on minho!” taehyun shouts, climbing halfway onto his chair for a better view.

“sit down before you fall,” kai warns, softly placing his hand on taehyun’s back.

“i won’t,” taehyun says, but immediately loses balance and grabs the table, sending another round of drinks sloshing, earning immediate complaints from everyone.

soobin laughs then, and kai can’t help but laugh too, entertained with the absolute animals that his coworkers turn into whenever they drink.

the afternoon fades into the evening without anyone noticing. the risk team enjoys their well deserved happy hour, talking, laughing, playing drinking games and simply having fun together. 

kai ignores his gut feeling and has fun too, sticking to soda and alcohol-free drinks. the only time he drinks is when soobin and taehyun almost force him to, one at each side of him like two devils on his shoulders. soobin threatens with his boss-tone voice, and kai has a shot just for the sake of it, which earns him a round of applause that makes his cheeks go red.

when everyone is already tipsy past the party point, the tiredness of the day starts to kick in. the loud screams and cheering cool into casual conversations, and the drinks stop arriving at their table as often.

kai remains quiet for a bit. by his right side, taehyun was having a full on debate with the woman next to him. discussing the newly released version of python wasn’t really something kai was interested in at the moment, so to his left is…

soobin.

kai turns his head slowly to look at his boss, whose chin rests on his palm. he was leaning closer than kai expected, and seemed to be passively listening to taehyun’s conversation, without paying too much attention, merely watching his team get along. 

but then, his eyes fix on kai’s. soobin smiles, with his perfect teeth and perfect dimples. kai smiles back. it’s a different kind of eye contact, the one that seems to last a bit too long. soobin looks at kai like he’s staring at his soul and kai simply allows him.

he never thought he would get to be this close to soobin in his lifetime, so kai cherishes the moment. he tries to memorize every single detail: the warmth of soobin’s body, the cute little mole on his nose, his crooked round glasses and his slightly sweaty jet black hair that charmingly falls over his eyes.

it’s like kai tunes out from the rest of the world and, for a moment, there’s just the two of them. 

“huening-ah,” his tipsy boss murmurs. his tone sends a shiver down kai’s spine, bringing him back to reality. “i wanna go home. but i can’t drive like this. take me home? please.”

huening’s cheeks are impossibly warm. the simple thought of taking soobin home and everything else that the gesture implies was embarrassing for him. driving soobin’s car. meeting his home. the most hopeless chance of soobin inviting him in.

“sure.”

“like right now? if you don’t mind,” soobin sighs. “i have a headache already. can’t hold my alcohol like before.”

“um, yeah,” kai fidgets, “i don’t mind. i also wasn’t planning to stay much longer anyway.”

with a nod of his head and a light smile, soobin gestures for a waiter to bring in the check. he pays for the whole table and mumbles for everyone to get home safe. kai grabs his bag and takes an almost pitiful look at his equally drunk coworkers, who didn’t plan on leaving just yet, and tags along his wobbly boss who was trying very hard to remember where his car was parked.

the walk seems slower than it should be. the night falls quietly as they walk side by side under the street lights, a cold breeze softly blowing the hair out of their faces. soobin stumbles a bit as he leads kai to his car, uncertain footsteps as he seems to try to keep composure.

their hands brush when soobin gives kai his keys.

huening nervously unlocks his boss’s car and opens the door for him, to which soobin smiles. he overthinks if that was a bit too much.

the ride was quiet. the engine growls, the noise momentarily overlapped by soobin as he gives kai directions to his home. 

at some point, kai stops at a red light and can’t hold himself from glancing in soobin’s direction, which makes him a bit surprised to find the man’s eyes already looking at him. kai lets out a small, awkward smile.

i like you, kai thinks to himself. fuck, i like you so much.

soobin suddenly chuckles. “ah, kai. why do you always look at me like that?”

kai hopes his panic isn’t noticeable when he speaks, worried that he might have verbalized his thoughts by accident. “like what?”

his boss pauses. studies his face for a second, and lets out another soft chuckle. “like you want to tell me something.”

“um…” 

kai tries to come up with something to say, anything, but he’s too embarrassed to even try. maybe he wasn’t so good at hiding it after all.

“it’s cute.”

there’s a short silence between them, and kai desperately tries to find a clue on soobin’s face. he lets out a humorless laugh. there’s something urgent in his tone when he speaks. “hah. funny.”

“i’m not joking,” soobin calmly states.

kai’s heart is racing inside his chest and it feels like hours before the traffic light turns green and he finally gets the car moving again.

“you’re just drunk,” the blonde mutters.

soobin hums, unworriedly, shifting in his seat. a faint smile tugs at his lips. “just a little.”

“a little,” kai echoes.

kai feels a shift in the atmosphere and he is a burning pile of nerves now, his mind running a mile an hour as he thinks back on all the interactions he ever had with his boss, trying to identify the one that could have given him that idea. he wanted to confront soobin, tell him that he was reading too much into it, but would it really serve for anything? he is his boss, that’s all that it is, and it isn’t changing.

“there. that one,” soobin points at a house ahead.

kai carefully parks in front of soobin’s house and follows him to his front door, in case the man stumbles over his own feet and falls, which would have happened if kai wasn’t there to hold him. soobin is still laughing about it as kai gives him his keys, and he has to try at least three times before he can finally get the right one into the door lock.

“there you go,” kai says as soobin succeeds in unlocking his door, then slides the key into the inside lock. “safe and sound.”

the man glances at kai, eyes tired from the busy day and the corners of his lips curled up in a tipsy smile. “thank you, huening-ah.”

“no problem.”

kai fights the urge to peek behind soobin, curious to know what his home looks like. instead, he shoves his hands in his front pockets, drops his head and decides to stare at his own feet. 

“i should get going now.”

soobin rests his head on the door frame. “how?”

“i’ll take an uber or something,” kai kicks a little rock by the doorstep. “it’s fine.”

“oh. okay.”

for a moment, none of them says anything. kai notices that the awkward silences have been happening a lot between the two men lately. he shifts his weight slightly, preparing to turn away.

“or,” soobin suggests, “you can come in for a bit and wait until i’m sober, so i can give you a ride home.”

kai finally looks up, but his words die in his throat. he’s not sure he heard that right. “w-what?”

soobin’s hand is still on the door. his black tie is slightly loosened, hair falling messily over his eyes.

“i mean,” he continues, “it’s just until i sober up. then i can drive you back.”

when he says it like that, it almost sounds reasonable. but kai wasn’t dumb; he knows exactly what will happen if he says yes. the invitation is tempting, and he’s afraid he won't be able to control himself, but the night already feels too much and he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to cross that line.

“you really don’t have to.”

“i know,” the man nods, “but it’s just that- it’s late. i don’t want you to go back alone.”

soobin’s words sound like concern, but they just feel like something else to kai. he sighs, sure that he was imagining it, his mind playing games with him once again.

on the other hand, kai has already come to terms with not ever being intimate with his boss. it was simply unfair for soobin to just decide to break down that wall on his own.

“why do you always do this?” kai asks quietly.

“do what?”

“make things complicated.”

soobin huffs a small laugh. “guess i can’t help it.”

the man suddenly approaches kai, steps closer and closer until there’s almost no distance between them. kai barely has time to register it before he feels soobin’s hand on his jaw and then, just like that, soobin kisses him. 

the world stops.

it takes him a split second to process that soobin is… kissing him.

kai reacts on instinct. he closes his eyes and softly kisses him back. his head is spinning, his heart is racing but soobin’s lips are warm against his own and kai can’t possibly think about anything else.

when soobin pulls back, his face is unreadable. kai’s mouth falls open, still unable to think of anything to say.

as the silence drags for seconds that feel way too long and kai’s expression doesn’t change from panic to something else, soobin presses his lips slightly, dimples showing on his cheeks. 

“have i misinterpreted you, kai?”

kai’s thoughts are spiraling and he’s still half-afraid that soobin might simply be messing with him. he’s sure that kiss was a bad idea that should never, ever have happened. however, kai gives him no more time to second-guess, hands flying to the back of soobin’s neck, kissing him again but this time it is with the hunger of a starved man. 

god knows how long he’s been waiting for this.

soobin reciprocates, parting his lips and allowing kai’s tongue to enter his mouth. kai’s welcomed by the faint taste of alcohol as he tilts his head, deepening the kiss, long and delicate fingers mindlessly caressing the hair in the back of soobin’s neck. soobin’s tongue brushes against his own in a dangerously addictive way, and kai wishes for the kiss to never end.

soobin starts to slowly step inside, pulling kai with him, and at this point he simply lets himself be led. his eyes are closed and he feels soobin placing a hand on his lower back to bring him closer, dropping his bag to the floor, soobin pressing him against the door, and soobin pressing himself into him. 

his body is heating up, soobin’s curious tongue deep in his mouth, battling against his own. kai is breathless but he doesn’t want to let go, wants to never let go, fingers tightly interwoven in soobin’s hair.

it was almost too much to handle: the intimacy. the realness of soobin’s touch, the taste of his lips, his long fingers making their way inside kai’s shirt, the warmth of his body. everything is impatient and desperate and kai fucking loves it.

when they’re both way too breathless to continue, the kiss breaks on its own, like it was not their choice. soobin rests his forehead against kai’s. for a moment, they just breathe, uneven, way too loud in the quiet of the room.

kai huffs out a laugh, almost in disbelief. “what are we even doing?”

it’s a rhetorical question. 

because this wasn’t supposed to happen, not with his boss, and especially not in his home. kai inhales sharply, noticing a faint citric scent in the air, very clean and familiar, the same one that always lingers in soobin’s office.

that was not his office, though. kai was allowed in a place that actually belongs to soobin, and it feels way more intimate. it clings to everything: the quiet room, the darkness, the space between them that no longer feels professional, or safe, or defined. it smells just like him, not the version that kai knows from across a desk, but the one he was never meant to meet.

kai’s chest tightens around the realization.

soobin doesn’t answer the question. maybe he can’t, or maybe he simply doesn’t want to.

instead, he leans in again. slower this time, like he’s testing whether kai would still allow him to. his lips brush the corner of kai’s mouth, hesitant, a bit unsure, and then linger like he’s waiting for kai to pull away.

kai lets his eyes fall closed and doesn’t move.

soobin then presses a kiss to his temple, his cheek, the tip of his nose. then, his lips find the side of kai’s neck, and kai goes still for half a second before he realizes soobin is kissing his moles.

his cheeks immediately get warm at that. soobin’s hot tongue licks a line up his neck, all the way to his earlobe, where he gently nips.

“didn’t you have a headache?” kai teases, fingers slightly tucking on his hair strands.

soobin scoffs. “you’re more naive than i thought.”

kai licks his lips, expectant, his heart beating a mile an hour.

“huening-ah,” soobin whispers, even though there’s no one else to hear. it sends a shiver down kai’s spine. “i want you.”

there was no going back from that.

kai cups soobin’s both cheeks, pulls him closer and kisses him again. now that he’s had a taste, he doesn’t want to let go, lost in the high of soobin’s mouth on his. soobin holds him in place by his belt loops, but it’s not like kai could - or wants to - go anywhere, caged between the door and the weight of soobin’s body.

“i’ve been wanting you,” kai confesses quietly, his voice muffled against soobin’s lips. “for so long.”

“show me, then,” the man smirks. “just how much you want me.”

kai takes it as a permission. he keeps a hand on the back of soobin’s neck, steadily kissing him as the other hand travels to his lower back, bringing him closer if that’s even possible. kai presses his hard-on against soobin’s thigh, and a soft moan escapes his lips.

kai feels like he should feel embarrassed, because he’s rock hard already just from kissing, but he feels soobin’s boner against him too. soobin’s hands travel down to grab kai’s butt cheeks, which only makes him grind harder against him and he’s delirious now, cock throbbing inside his pants, desperate sounds leaving his mouth as he’s biting soobin’s lower lip.

soobin suddenly lets out a pained hiss. kai realizes he must have accidentally bit him a little harder than needed.

“sorry, boss,” kai is lightheaded and says it jokingly, but soobin frowns at him.

he curses himself in his head as he immediately realizes he let out a word he shouldn’t have. the one that wasn’t allowed.

“kai,” he says in a patient tone, “i feel weird if you call me like that right now.”

kai knows. calling soobin that enhances all the lines both men know they should not be crossing, but are already in too deep to care.

“hyung then,” he shamelessly suggests, trying to draw the attention somewhere else. “can i call you that?”

seems effective. soobin huffs out a laugh. “yes.”

“soobin hyung,” the words roll off his tongue, and kai loves how it sounds. “is that better?”

“much better.”

“hyung,” the blonde teases, pressing his lips to the crook of soobin’s neck. kai kisses him there, licks and sucks on his sweat-salty skin, and hears a faint moan coming from his lips. “wanna go to your room.”

soobin doesn’t even hesitate before taking hueningkai’s hand in his, guiding him through his home. kai feels intrusive, so he tries not to pay much attention to his surroundings as soobin drags him along the way, immediately locking their lips together when opening the door to his bedroom.

it’s a much messier kiss this time, lips and teeth and tongue everywhere, both of their hands eager, touching wherever they can. soobin’s pulling him, staggering across his bedroom until finally reaching his bed, where he simply falls flat on his back, making kai fall over him. startled, he laughs at it and soobin laughs too, pulling kai closer by his collar, their lips never wanting to part from each other for too long.

kai melts into it, adjusting himself on top of soobin’s lap as the man’s hands guide him to, firmly holding him by his waist. soobin buckles his hips slightly, searching for some friction, which makes kai moan against his lips. it gets a bit too real and he has to break the kiss, both his palms pressed on the mattress, looking down to find soobin’s swollen lips, messy hair and lustful eyes staring right back at him.

he has to take a moment to catch his breath, chest moving rapidly as soobin offers a comforting caress on his thigh. kai takes the opportunity to hurriedly take off his shoes, which soobin copies, using only his feet.

“are you okay?”

“fuck no,” kai is honest and soobin laughs out loud. “i’m terrified.”

“should we stop?” he pants. the alcohol must be wearing off, which would only make sense, kai thinks. soobin mustn’t have been in his right mind before, kissing and groping him like there is no tomorrow.

but he doesn’t want to stop, and at that point, he’s sure soobin feels the same.

kai takes a better look at the man under him. that was undoubtedly the risk team’s manager, his boss, choi soobin. his cheeks are still rosy from the alcohol, eyes half-lidded from arousal and chest waving up and down really fast.

hueningkai calculates risk for a living.

this one, he chooses to ignore.

he simply shakes his head no, unable to let go of the feeling he’s been dying to experience for so long, the feeling he’s been trying so hard to convince himself he didn’t want. kai immediately presses their lips together one more time. soobin doesn’t complain.

“if this is something you’ll regret tomorrow, then yes, we should stop right now,” kai murmurs in a glimpse of his right mind. “because i won’t.”

soobin’s smile comes easily. “me neither.”

the man proves his words, his long fingers reaching to the collar of kai’s shirt, the same shirt he lent to him earlier. soobin starts to unbutton it, and kai does the same to him. he’s too eager to undo his black tie the right way, so he just loses the knot a bit and drags it up over his head, which makes the man laugh.

kai’s fingers stumble upon each other as he hurriedly unbuttons soobin’s shirt. they help each other out of the clothing and soobin’s hands go straight to kai’s chest, grabbing him, brushing his thumbs against his nipples. both buds harden and kai holds back a moan, trembling to soobin’s touch.

the adrenaline runs frantically in kai’s veins as he starts to unbuckle soobin’s belt. he unbuttons his pants and pulls his underwear down just enough for his dick to pop out, which makes the man groan and then moan when kai starts to pump up and down in slow strokes.

“soobin hyung,” kai hovers over the man’s slender body, feeling their bare chests touching, their skin hot against each other as he buries his face in the crook of soobin’s neck. “you’re so hot. wanna make you feel good.”

“fuck,” soobin moans, hips bucking up to meet kai’s hand.

the blonde startles when soobin’s hands travel down his crotch, working to unbutton his pants as well, and kai hisses when his sensitive dick is freed from the fabric.

“here,” soobin breathlessly says, “let hyung help you with that, too.”

kai watches as soobin pokes around in the dark, searching for something inside of his nightstand. once he finds his lube, he pours some on his hand, adjusts himself and takes both of their cocks in a lazy handjob.

he can’t hold back his moans, and soobin’s hand starts working in a good speed, his hard dick rubbing against his own.

“feels good?”

“yeah,” kai pants. “so fucking good.”

kai twitches and squirms on top of soobin, letting the man masturbate their cocks as he sucks on his neck, not hard enough to leave marks, but hard enough to make him moan. he can’t help but thrust into soobin’s hand, picking up his pace, the friction so delicious it makes him delirious.

soobin tightens his grip and it makes kai lose it a little when the man lets out a fucking whimper. kai has to hold himself from coming on the spot as he kisses soobin sloppily, their tongues uncoordinated as he moves his hand and kai thrusts into it, their needy noises being swallowed by each other’s mouth.

“fuck,” kai swears under his breath. soobin’s cock is so hot against his own, both their cocks are so wet and slick, and the squelching noises are way too obscene. kai feels a familiar burn in his lower stomach, legs already starting to tremble. “i’m gonna cum.”

“me too,” soobin pants, and his face full of pleasure and desperate little moans is what makes kai fully lose it.

his whole body jerks and he groans as he cums, spilling violently on soobin’s hand and stomach, only making their cocks wetter. but soobin doesn’t stop, instead, he picks up his pace as he chases his own high. kai’s dick is so sensitive he can’t help his whimpering, his forehead glued to soobin’s as the man slides his hand decisively along both their shafts.

“mm, fuck,” the blonde cries out, feeling overstimulated.

soobin comes shortly after, arching his back as he lets a long moan fall from his lips. kai is breathless as he looks down to the mess they just made, soobin’s hand sticky with so much cum as he finally lets go of both their cocks.

kai feels lightheaded. he’s been nurturing this want for soobin for so long without knowing what to do with it. feeding it with every conversation, every stolen glance, letting it grow in the back of his mind even though he knew it wasn’t right.

but now, kai finally knows what to do with it. he wants to pin him down and devour him whole. kai wants to be the one in control, at least once.

kai slides off soobin’s lap, laying down by his side on the bed. kai takes a good look at his fucked out face and realizes he still has his glasses on, so he carefully takes them off. the man smiles at him, catching up his breath, and reaches over for a kiss.

“huening-ah,” soobin whispers. his lips are glued to kai’s earlobe, making him shiver all over. “open wide for me now?”

well.

that’s an unexpected turn.

whatever plan he had before was just gone now, his control slipping through his fingers as he doesn’t even hesitate, shyly taking his pants all the way off and opening his legs, putting himself on display for soobin.

“good job,” he praises. “always such a good boy for me.”

soobin gets on his knees and helps kai position himself on his bed, placing a pillow behind his back for support as he lays the blonde against his bed frame, kneeling in front of his open legs. kai is grateful no lights are on, certainly red as a tomato now.

“so pretty,” soobin muses, his slick cum-covered hand traveling down kai’s thighs. “so pretty and obedient for me.”

his soft words awaken something in kai’s chest. despite his usual behavior, kai is hardly ever submissive during sex, even when on the receiving end, but being with soobin makes him want to be. his curious eyes look expectantly at his boss, almost docile, as he decides not to fight it and simply embrace it instead.

“yeah,” he mumbles. “only for hyung.”

kai chokes out a moan when soobin presses a finger against his hole, slowly sliding it inside him. kai can’t even recall the last time he’d gotten some action, so busy and tired from work all the time, so at first it’s a foreign feeling. 

soobin places in a second one but doesn’t rush with it, takes his sweet time to pump two long fingers in and out of kai, who squirms on the bed, getting a hold of soobin’s thigh to ground himself. his dick is twitching in interest, hard, red and angry as the cum starts to dry on his skin.

“you’re still so hard,” soobin mutters under his breath, running a hand along kai’s waist.

kai is panting, the man’s fingers carefully fingering him open. “can’t help it.”

soobin coats his fingers with lube before adding in a third, which makes kai squeeze his thigh harder, feeling full now as soobin fingers him more steadily. kai gasps and his body jolts when his sweet spot is found, and soobin aims at it when he notices, curling his fingers inside kai as he hits it over and over again.

“fuck,” kai moans, legs trembling, a shock of pleasure running down his spine.

“huening-ah,” soobin leans over him, placing kisses on his neck, leaving small bites on his skin. “you’re so cute. wanna fuck you.”

“please, nngh,” he places a trembling hand on soobin’s shoulder. “please, hyung, fuck me.”

a pleased grin forms on the man’s lips before he kisses him, fingers still working, stretching kai for him as his hot tongue is deep in his mouth.

kai’s entire body is blazing hot, and he can almost hear his heartbeats, chest waving so fast as he kisses back, sloppily, full-on moaning against soobin’s lips. when he feels the man pull out his fingers, kai can’t help but whine, even though he knows he won’t be empty for long.

soobin takes off his pants fully and they are both completely naked now, kai’s hands instinctively flying to the man’s waist, caressing his sides as he aligns himself between his legs, as if afraid he’ll pull away.

instead, soobin pulls kai closer by his thighs, adjusting him so he’s laying flatly on his back, and pours some more lube on himself before lining his cock to the blonde’s entrance.

“i’ll put it in,” he warns.

kai is impatient, hands firm on soobin’s biceps as if urging him. “fucking do it.”

he smirks and places a hand on kai’s chest before pushing himself in, slowly, making sure the blonde can feel every inch of him.

kai grimaces, inhaling sharply, his nails firmly digging into soobin’s arm. he lets out a pained moan when soobin is entirely inside of him, eyes closed as he throws his head back.

“fucking hell,” the blonde suddenly lets out.

a grin forms on soobin’s lips. “does it hurt?”

kai scoffs in disbelief. it’s embarrassing, humiliating even, to admit that his boss might be the biggest he’s ever had. “can’t you fucking tell?”

“that’s not a very nice thing to say to your boss.”

“yeah, but you’re not my fucking boss right now, are you?” kai says, taking a deep breath as he tries his best to get used to the feeling. “fuck. why does your dick have to be this big?”

soobin huffs out a laugh. “it hurts, but you’re still taking it like the good boy you are. so desperate for cock,” he whispers in kai’s ear, teasing him. “bet you’ve been dreaming about this.”

kai doesn’t even know how to respond to that because he, in fact, had been dreaming about it. but the real thing, to have soobin’s cock throbbing inside him, patiently waiting to start moving, was much different than any scenario he could’ve ever imagined.

soobin slowly starts to move, getting a moan out of huening, who was so sensitive he felt on the verge of tears. kai was so full, his whole body on fire, all of the right places inside him being hit by soobin’s cock.

he picks up his pace, starts to pound steadily into kai, who’s finally getting used to his size. however, he can’t possibly get used to soobin hitting his prostate whenever he moves, and feels like he might cum untouched just from that, whole body spasming, helplessly moaning and whimpering.

“mm, hyung- let’s change positions,” kai manages to ask, his voice no more than a whisper.

“no,” soobin licks his lips and doesn’t stop. “wanna look at your pretty face.”

kai sobs and begs, “please- hyung, too deep, please.”

“it’s gonna be deep anyway,” the man says, breathlessly, a shit-eating grin on his face. “but you can take it, right, huening-ah?”

the blonde hesitates but realizes there was really no use in complaining, so he ends up nodding his head yes, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

“look at you,” soobin laughs as he muses, both hands caging kai to the bed by his waist as he squirms under him. “such a mess already.”

“fuck- soobin hyung,” the blonde sobs wetly, throwing an arm over his face that soobin quickly grabs, pining it above his head.

he doesn’t let kai hide or muffle his pretty moans, hovering closer and kissing him instead. the blonde allows himself to get lost in it and hugs him by the neck, milky legs in the air as soobin folds his body, eager to be impossibly close, as if wishing they would fuse together.

“you feel so good,” soobin moans against his lips, “you’re taking me so well.”

kai is suddenly struck by an urge to be possessive so strong he can’t fight. he kisses and bites down on soobin’s neck, sucking on his skin hard enough to leave a hickey there, somewhere he was sure his button-up shirts wouldn’t cover. the thought of people seeing it and them being the only ones who know is thrilling, and it only makes kai even hotter as he feels soobin pound helplessly into him.

“fuck, kai,” the man groans, nails digging into the flesh of kai’s strong arms. “gonna cum.”

but huening is already gone, mind hazy from so much pleasure, soobin’s words nothing but a buzz in his head. he keeps his eyes half-lidded as he’s completely spent, but still needs to look at the man. he needs to look at his pleasured face while he takes whatever he wants from his body, wants to remember it.

soobin’s thrusts become harder instead of fast, reaching so deep inside kai now that he can’t hold himself any longer. waves of pleasure travel kai’s body as he orgasms, a long moan leaving his lips, coming untouched all over himself in long spurts. there’s tears rolling down his face due to his high hitting so hard.

“hyung, fuck! fuck, feels so good,” kai spouts nonsense and he’s too sensitive, can’t stop crying as soobin continues to fuck him, chasing his own high. “want you to- fill me up, please…”

soobin cleans a stream of tears from his face with his thumb, amused. “i will, huening-ah,” he moans, feeling himself closer with each thrust. “hyung will fill you up so good.”

kai’s desperate pleas and teary eyes is what does it for him and, with one final thrust of his hips, soobin comes hard inside of kai with a broken moan, grabbing his thighs firmly enough to leave marks of his fingers on the pale skin. the blonde squirms, feeling soobin’s hot cum spill out of him and pool on the sheets as he slowly pulls his dick out.

kai’s chest rises and falls quickly, closing his eyes to focus on catching his breath and enjoying the last waves of pleasure that hit his body. soobin is also spent, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead.

“are you okay?” there’s a hint of worry in soobin’s voice as he speaks.

“yeah.”

“did i really hurt you? or is it something that happens normally?” he carefully asks. “the crying, i mean.” 

“no,” kai answers. “and no. believe me, i’m just as confused as you are.”

“thank god,” soobin says so sincerely that kai bursts out laughing. “fuck. it was so fucking hot, but i got really worried for a second.”

kai closes his eyes. he needs some time to process the fact that he and soobin just… 

“so,” soobin blurts out, directly, “should we leave it as it is or try to figure things out?”

kai exhales slowly. he’s not sure he really wants to think or talk about it at all. in his head, it’s still something that shouldn’t have happened. in his heart, it wasn’t a mistake. logically, though, it was.

“you think we have to?”

“i mean,” soobin shifts in the bed, “do you really expect me to be normal around you at the office every day? please, kai. i can’t. not after knowing how you look naked.”

kai laughs out loud and soobin does too, but it fades quickly and he realizes the man wasn’t being playful about it. a part of kai kind of wishes he was. because now it’s clearer that the whole thing was not a joke to him, and the realization that he would have to finally open up hits kai heavily.

“to be honest,” he starts, “i was surprised you were even into me in the first place.”

soobin scoffs and looks at him, genuinely baffled, like his head is on fire. “are you kidding me?” 

“i’m not,” kai is honest, rubbing the back of his neck as if trying to scrub the awkwardness away. “i’ve been into you for the longest time, so… yeah, it was shocking at first.”

soobin looks at him expectantly, encouraging him to continue, waiting.

“but yeah, we really can’t just… act like this is fine”, kai continues. “i don’t think we can be normal around each other anymore. because this… is not normal.”

soobin’s expression falls flat. “it’s not normal? is that seriously what you’re going with?”

“i mean, what do you want me to say?” kai exhales nervously. “fuck. you’re my boss. my authority somewhere i am every day. this is just a… blunder.”

the word hangs heavy.

soobin seems a bit hurt at that, but kai sees no use in beating around the bush. they have to address it in the most honest way, and that was his honest vision.

“a blunder,” soobin echoes, his expression tightening to something that resembles too much like hurt. “wow.”

kai feels terrible. he hates how that sounded, but he doesn’t take it back.

“i just think,” he says slowly, choosing each word like it might explode, “that the most rational thing is to… minimize impact. we should keep things professional, not tell anyone, and eventually it’ll just…” he makes a small, dismissive motion,  “fade.”

soobin looks at him in the eye for a second, as if searching for something in his face. “you really believe that’s gonna happen?”

he sighs. “i have to.”

there’s a silence that feels like forever. kai nervously plays with his own fingers.

“so what,” soobin says finally, voice lower now, “we go back in on monday and pretend nothing happened?”

kai nods, uncertainly. “yeah.”

“and you think you can do that?”

kai hesitates. that’s the problem.

logically, of course. he can follow rules, maintain boundaries, and stick to scripts. but when it comes to soobin, he just has a hard time controlling himself.

“i’ll manage,” he says, which isn’t really an answer.

soobin lets out a quiet breath, almost a laugh but not quite.

“god, you’re unbelievable.”

kai huffs, a little defensive. “you’re the one who said you couldn’t be normal.”

“yeah,” soobin says, meeting his eyes again. “because i’m being honest.”

kai swallows nervously. 

“for what it’s worth,” the man adds, after a beat, “i don’t think it was a mistake. and i don’t think it should be a one-time thing either.”

kai looks straight into his eyes. they’re not the usual playful eyes, but decisive ones.

“soobin,” kai strikes. no honorifics, not even boss. “if anyone finds out, we’re both fucked. is it really worth the risk?”

as the manager of risk, soobin  doesn’t seem to give a shit to this absolute hr-nightmare situation, shrugging his shoulders.

“i don’t plan on telling. do you?”

kai ponders the possibilities. it’s risky to keep doing whatever that was, indulging in such a career-ending scandal like having an affair with his own boss. yet, soobin seems to choose the risk over the logic, which wasn’t helping kai think straight at all.

plus, deep down, kai was intrigued by the chemistry they had. it makes him curious and, looking at the mark he left on soobin’s neck, kai is also curious what it would be like to be each other’s.

kai exhales sharply, running a nervous hand through his hair. this is the exact kind of situation he avoids. unpredictable, messy, and out of his control. and yet, there he is, being crushed by the weight of everything that just happened, thinking of how much he wants it to happen again.

“this is a terrible idea.”

“probably,” soobin agrees, simply.

kai scoffs a humourless laugh. “great. that’s reassuring.”

soobin’s face is back to his usual unworried expression as they hold each other’s gaze, the corners of his lips already curling up, like he knows just what kai is going to say.

finally, kai smiles too. “fine,” he says softly, caressing soobin’s chest with soft fingertips. “but next time, i’m fucking you.”

soobin huffs a quiet laugh. “next time?”

they look at each other, none of them caring to pretend anymore.

“why wait?”

the men exchange a complicit smile. kai climbs back on top of soobin’s lap and kisses him.

on monday morning, soobin subtly places a cup of coffee on kai’s desk when he walks in. he lifts his head up, only to catch a soft smile from his boss as he glances back, heading to his office.

kai looks down at the cup on his desk and can’t hold back his own smile.