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Seb was so cute, the absolute cutest man Hammer knew.
Hammer wanted to wrap him in ten of the softest blankets and snuggle into those blankets with Seb and never get out, but Seb also looked fantastic naked and sweaty, those biceps straining to escape the tees Seb never seemed to buy in the right size. Hammer couldn’t decide what he wanted.
Seb made the decision for him on their way back from dinner to Hammer’s hotel room in Toronto by declaring in a group chat with Hammer’s family that they had been dating for a long time when Hammer had spent the last few months debating how to ask Seb to date him after they retired.
Hammer decided Seb would look best with Hammer’s hands around his delusional neck, but Seb was pouting at Hammer because Hammer refused to talk to him until they were in the privacy of their room. Hammer was scared he would scream, and then he was scared he wouldn’t be able to get a single word out, but Seb was still so fucking cute, and he was going to belong to Hammer from now on, and Hammer was so fucking happy about that.
Seb and his ma had been talking about booking a wedding location and whatever a Pinterest board was. No, Hammer knew what a Pinterest board was, but why did they have one? And why did they have a shared one? How long had they had it? Hammer was scared to ask in case the answer was anything close to a decade.
Just for this, Hammer would make Seb propose to him, for the sheer trauma Seb had put Hammer through over the weekend, from the brunch with his ex to not telling Hammer they were in a relationship to talking about a wedding with his mom, and god knew what else Hammer would someday find out that would blow his mind.
Hammer then remembered they were going to be exclusive, and they were going to be boyfriends, and Seb was going to be Hammer’s boyfriend, and it was suddenly all just too much for Hammer.
It was all too fucking much, and everything Hammer had ever fucking wanted. The fallout, fortunately, was that Hammer couldn’t seem to stop touching Seb once they entered their hotel room, and Seb practically melted into him, all warm and solid and a little bit boneless in that way he got when he was happy. Hammer swallowed Seb’s laugh as he got carried to bed.
Hammer let himself drop back onto the mattress with Seb wrapped around him, more of a collapse than anything graceful. There was a Seb-shaped weight on top of Hammer, something Hammer had been unsure about ever having ever again since his rushed dash out of their house, and Seb’s fingers fisted in Hammer’s hoodie that actually might be Seb’s, and Hammer’s brain stalled out midway through an increasingly filthy kiss.
Seb nipped at Hammer’s lips when he stopped responding and nudged their noses together as Hammer’s brain tried to reboot and failed. Seb had been leaning over Hammer with their hands tangled, and he pushed himself up to look worriedly at Hammer, but Seb was now too far away. Hammer moved one of their intertwined hands to the small of Seb’s back, pushing on them to pull Seb closer.
Seb’s whole face lit up with a giddy smile, a ripple passing through his shoulders as he pushed down on his one arm beside Hammer’s head, and landed a kiss on Hammer’s nose, then pushed himself back up with a smirk without breaking a fucking sweat as Hammer chased his lips.
His strength was what had drawn Seb to Hammer years and years ago, when they used to spot each other as rookies on the Bears, and Seb had used all his hot muscles to give Hammer the cutest fucking kiss. Hammer’s dick jumped in response.
Seb did another one handed pushup and kissed Hammer’s chin. He was so fucking cute when he was proud of himself, and was looking at Hammer like he knew how hot Hammer thought it was, and Hammer thought it was super fucking hot.
One more pushup, and Seb landed a kiss on one of Hammer’s eyebrows. Hammer needed to breathe through his mouth to get any air in his lungs, and his hand firmed around Seb’s hand on his back like he was the one who needed support.
Who was panting so loudly? Oh, it was Hammer panting like he had run a marathon, not that Hammer would run a marathon. He had an ideological issue with running for no reason, but why was he panting like he was the one doing one-handed pushups?
Hammer ached to drag Seb into a longer kiss, but he knew Seb had a thing about odd numbers and would hate to have kissed only one of Hammer’s eyebrows. Seb’s eyes softened when he saw Hammer struggle through waiting to grab Seb, and he quickly pushed down to kiss Hammer’s other eyebrow as a tear fell from Seb on Hammer’s cheek.
Seb still had that soft look on his face as Hammer wiped the tear track off his cheek, and it felt like it did when Hammer woke up after a nap in the sunshine, but without needing the nap, so Hammer made the most sensible choice possible and surged up to kiss Seb. Hammer absolutely had to help his embarrassingly hard boner, and figured he had some good abs going for him when an idea struck him.
Hammer continued kissing Seb and then grabbed the back of Seb’s thighs and flipped them, wrapping Seb’s legs around his waist. Take that, thought Hammer when Seb scrambled for Hammer’s shoulders, and before he knew it, Hammer was basically fucking Seb with their clothes on, humping into each other like they hadn’t been with each other in years rather than two days.
"Fuck, you're so beautiful," Hammer curved with Seb as Seb’s back arched off the bed and their hips pressed together as they both rose way too fast on their way to an orgasm, too pent up to pace themselves.
“Wait, wait.” Seb pushed at Hammer’s shoulders and dropped his hips back onto the bed. Why did Seb want to stop now? Seb did this when he had some fucked up but fun sex game to play with Hammer, and Hammer usually loved what Seb’s brain came up with.
“Not in the mood for games tonight, Seb.” Hammer didn’t want to hear Seb say anything else that would end up breaking his brain permanently, and flopped back onto the bed beside Seb, jaw clenched.
“No games, Hammy,” Seb pressed a series of small, lazy kisses along Hammer’s jaw, like they had nowhere to be and nothing else to do, and Hammer relaxed, letting his fingers drift up into Seb’s hair, not doing anything in particular either. “Will you let me take care of you today?”
“Why?” A nip at Hammer’s jaw and there it was again, that ridiculous, sunlight after a nap feeling. Hammer tipped his head slightly to give Seb better access. “I’m the one who’s sorry for running away.”
“I’m the one who’s sorry for making you feel like you had to leave,” Seb whispered into Hammer’s neck, “I’m so lucky to have you, Hammy, and I know I haven’t been taking good care of you, but I promise I’ll do better.”
Hammer felt the floatiness extend to his toes when the words pierced him, “What?”
“Please let me take care of you, Hammy.” Seb was looking at Hammer with a sort of reverence that made Hammer’s stomach clench up. Seb had always looked at Hammer like that, so was Hammer the one who was blind in this scenario?
All it took was a small nod from Hammer for Seb to push his shirt up and off him. Hammer stared up at Seb through feverish kisses, Seb’s hands careful and so fucking warm as he took all their clothes off until they were both gloriously naked. Seb’s hands were on either side of Hammer’s head again, and Seb hovered over Hammer, smile widening until it filled the edges of Hammer’s mind, until he could see nothing but Seb.
"What?" Hammer shifted, uncomfortable with how earnestly Seb’s eyes were tracing his face.
“You just look so good,” Seb said, pulling back and walking over to his backpack, “but then you always look hot, Hammy.” Hammer felt kind of faint, and Seb crawled back between Hammer’s legs, tossing a bottle beside them. Had he been so sure of Hammer that he had packed lube? It reassured Hammer that Seb had thought everything could be resolved.
Hammer’s thoughts must have shown on his face, because Seb blushed, and Seb rarely ever blushed at anything, unnervingly sure of his sexuality and his naked hot body. What was there to blush about lube? “Carmy packed the backpack.”
“Remind me to thank him for his foresight then.”
“Look at you,” Seb quirked another smile at Hammer, who was hoarding all of Seb’s smiles in his mind like it was the start of a new day, “Can’t believe you’re going to be all mine.”
“Can’t believe you’re all mine either,” Hammer bit his lip, sweeping his hands up and down Seb’s sides, following the shiver passing through the man at his words.
Seb pushed Hammer up the bed, hands around his thighs and placed a pillow under Hammer’s hips, like he had done a hundred times before, a thousand, probably more. “Hold onto your knees for me, Hammy.”
Hammer hooked his palms into the back of his knees and pressed his legs up and towards his chest, whining low at the stretch already. “What are you going to do to me?”
Seb chose that moment to press a fingertip to his hole, petting at the opening and watching Hammer’s ass like it was a show all on its own. “Nothing you won’t like.” The finger slipped in easily with the lube Hammer hadn’t seen Seb use, finger rubbing across the walls like Seb was warming Hammer from the inside because he was always so cold.
“Didn’t I tell you you would like it?” Seb pressed a second in, sloppy with lube already, and kissed Hammer’s thigh, “Always so ready for me, aren’t you?”
Fuck, Seb couldn’t stop playing even when he wasn’t, and why did that sear Hammer from the inside out? Hammer’s legs twitched in his hold when Seb scissored his fingers inside, and Hammer cursed. “Fucking hell, Seb. If you don’t get in me right this second, I swear you won’t be able to sit again.”
“You can’t wait to punish me, huh, Hammy?” Seb ducked his head, fucking his tongue in beside his fingers, and Hammer knew he was making indescribable noises, but then there were more fingers than before. Hammer had to make an effort to lift his head to see three pushing deep into his hole, alongside Seb’s tongue licking at the rim.
Hammer was going to edge Seb until he sobbed and apologised to Hammer, and then edge him some more. “At this rate, you’re not going to come for at least a week after you fuck me, Seb, and I’m—” Hammer hissed when Seb twisted his fingers inside, “and I’m going to fuck you so fucking silly each time while you beg to come.”
"Can’t wait," Seb mumbled into Hammer’s ass, words slurred with the fluids on his face, "I’ll even stay naked for you the whole time." Seb’s eyes were so pretty as he stared at Hammer, as soft and sweet as anyone could ever seem while eating ass. Seb could have his ridiculous Pinterest boards, his premature planning about their life together, and his completely unhinged assumptions about their relationship timeline as long as he continued to touch Hammer like this.
Hammer let out tiny gasps with each spurt that squirted out of his cock, and Seb continued to milk his prostate. Hammer felt feverish, and his body twitched, like it needed Seb to cool him down from feeling on fire, like Seb was the only one who could. “Sebby, please.” Seb pulled his fingers out, brushing purposely against his prostate on the way out, and Hammer had to grab his knees violently to stop himself from kicking at Seb’s pretty head as another trickle spurted out of him.
It was ridiculous how wet Hammer’s cock was, precome pooling in the ridges of his stomach, and Hammer made grabby hands when Seb didn’t come back to him after pulling back. Seb swiped a hand through the mess to slick his own cock instead of reaching for the lube, his eyes fixed on where Hammer’s hole was all stretched out from Seb’s efforts, and he leaned down to lick a long stripe up Hammer’s belly, making Hammer shudder and let out a debauched groan. “Fuck.”
It was one of Seb’s favourite things to do, to make Hammer come without touching his dick. Seb inserted his fingers back into Hammer and prodded at his prostate again, Hammer’s body jolting like he needed to jump through the headboard, but he couldn’t because Seb was holding his hips down with one hand, his body pushing against Hammer’s knees to keep him bent in half because Hammer’s hands had tangled themselves in Seb’s hair. Seb doubled his pace when Hammer’s stomach tensed under Seb’s hand, but Hammer refused to come. “Come on, Hammy, let it go.”
“Get in me. Please,” Hammer didn’t want to come without Seb. Seb’s fingers were inside him, and Hammer thought about Seb having a wedding board with his ma and how he would be offended if they had put any bright blue in the palette, and how he never wanted to be apart from Seb ever again, even though Seb had the most atrocious taste in colours, “not without you.”
“Okay, okay.” When Seb pulled his fingers out, Hammer relaxed back against the sheets and let out a shuddering exhale. Fucking finally. Seb rolled on a condom, and Hammer’s breath hitched as Seb worked his cock into Hammer, shifting his hips until he nestled in deep. Seb began to rock his hips almost as soon as he bottomed out, and Hammer threw his head back with a moan, eyes squeezing shut at the pressure.
Hammer imagined how it would feel to have Seb without a condom, and it had been Seb who had brought it up to fucking Hunter already, so it was Hammer’s turn to bring it up when they were back home. Hammer hadn’t slept with anyone in three years, so he wouldn’t need to get tested again after their last physical had been clean, but Seb might want to, and then Hammer could come in Seb’s ass, and keep him all filled up the whole week until he smelled and tasted only of Hammer. The thought almost made him come.
“Look at me,” Seb said, as though he knew Hammer had lost focus, adjusting his angle to thrust right into Hammer, whose eyes shot open with a grunt. Hammer tried to wiggle his hips, hoping to ease the hit on his prostate, but Seb had found it and refused to let go. He maintained eye contact with Hammer as he pulled out halfway and fucked back into Hammer, aiming for that spot again and again, forcing Hammer’s cock to jolt frantically.
Each well aimed thrust punched gusts of air out of Hammer from the force of them, not allowing Hammer to catch his breath. “I can’t—Seb—it’s too much, seriously.” Hammer was getting fucked so good that even his eyes struggled to focus, his mind supplying an image of Seb instead of seeing what was right in front of him. Hammer briefly considered fainting and decided against it because Seb was inside him, and he didn’t want to miss a minute of it.
“Poor baby,” Seb cooed, and Hammer wanted to punch him down and ride him hard, but he had promised to let Seb take care of him today. “Are you feeling overwhelmed already?”
“Please.” Hammer nodded his head vehemently, his hands curled into fists in Seb’s hair, and it must have been painful, but it only egged Seb on, and he ground in hard, thrusts unceasing.
“Too bad,” Seb carried on, snapping his hips without constraint, “I’m going to give you everything you will ever need.”
Seb already had.
Hammer blinked wet eyelashes and sank into Seb’s embrace, giving his body over to this man, knowing he would carry him across to the shore, no matter how close or far it might be, because he was it for Hammer.
"You're everything to me, Hammy," Seb said then, voice laboured from the hard fuck, and it felt a whole lot like an I love you, something Hammer was terrified to say first to Seb. What if Seb said he loved Hammer too, like it was a given, like Seb wasn’t surprised at all? Hammer loved Seb, but he couldn’t hear Seb say he had loved Hammer a long time, like Hammer was the one who didn’t know. Hammer decided he would rather wait for Seb to say it first. "Everything."
Seb hit that spot again, and Hammer’s vision went white, and that was the problem, wasn’t it, how good Seb was in bed? Hammer knew they were good in bed together, but was Seb going to miss fucking other people, or the variety? Was that why Seb had never brought up being monogamous before?
Seb tested a shallow stroke to see how Hammer’s ass pulled him back in, and Hammer cried out. Fuck, would Seb eventually get bored with Hammer? Not of Hammer specifically, because if Seb hadn’t gotten tired of him in fifteen years, he wouldn’t. Hammer knew that, and Hammer knew Seb liked fucking him and being fucked by him, but would get tired of being only with Hammer? Hammer cried out from the strain when Seb leaned in even closer and spread his legs wider, making the slide easier on himself. Hammer knew with extreme certainty that Seb would not cheat on him, but having to witness Seb being unwilling to meet his own needs because of a promise he made to Hammer would make Hammer very sad.
When Hammer came, spasms racked through him, splattering come across his chest, and Seb lost control of his hips, rocking into Hammer haphazardly until he poured into the condom in sporadic bursts, Hammer’s ass milking him until he could come no more.
Hammer manoeuvred Seb close with one hand on his nape and the other on his shoulder, and Seb happily let himself be guided, tucking his nose into Hammer’s neck, only coming up for a minute to knot the condom and throw it into the dustbin with unerring accuracy, something that made Hammer rumble in contentment. They rested their foreheads together, sharing slow kisses as they both panted from the come down.
Seb deserved to have everything he wanted, even if it would be difficult for Hammer. Hammer could promise he wouldn’t be with anyone else, because wasn’t that what Seb wanted, and what Seb had asked Hammer for earlier? Hammer had no intention of ever sleeping with anyone else anyway, so it would work out great for everyone involved, except for a little heartbreak for Hammer that he could learn to get over. He could, right? He could because he had to, for Seb.
Fuck, Hammer really didn’t want to do this.
Seb was fucked out and sleepy on his chest, Hammer’s arms around Seb bringing him closer and closer, and Seb kept fluttering his mouth over Hammer’s and nuzzling their noses over and over like he couldn’t get enough. Hammer couldn’t get enough either, wanted more and more, and whined low in his throat each time Seb pulled back from a kiss, but he needed to do this.
Hammer turned his head just enough to catch Seb’s mouth again, and Seb made a pleased sound into the kiss, and Hammer felt it and the dread of what he needed to say intertwine in his chest all the way down to his ribs, a twinge like it had been a few days since some asshole defenseman rammed into him.
“You know, Seb,” Hammer felt a ball of dust clogging his throat and cleared it with a cough, “if you ever feel like you need, like, something else or if I’m not—if you need someone else, you can tell me because we’re, you know, it’s going to be just us from now on.” Hammer cast his eyes up at the ceiling, chewing the inside of his mouth, “It’s not—I don’t want you to feel like you should—I mean, we’ve never talked about it before, so, yeah, you should tell me if you ever want to.”
Seb blinked, soft and a little sleepy, “What are you talking about?” Seb’s expression didn’t change all at once, but Hammer’s words gradually seeped through him, and then something in his face tightened. Seb’s hand came up to Hammer’s jaw, thumb pressing lightly at the corner of Hammer’s mouth, like Seb was trying to nudge Hammer into looking back at him instead of at the ceiling.
Hammer hesitated, but he was the one who had brought it up, so he turned to hold Seb’s gaze and felt the familiar panic creep in, the one that told him Seb was going to speak about someone else he was sleeping with. “You always do that,” Seb said with a sad smile, “like you’re expecting me to talk about someone else in bed with you, and I haven’t in a long, long time, Hammy.”
Hammer huffed a weak breath, eyes darting away for a second. He hated how exposed Seb made him feel, and how much he wanted Seb to know him, and Seb already knew him best. It would’ve been easier if Seb had gotten annoyed, or laughed, or anything except this quiet sorrow that filled Seb’s face. “We’ve never talked about it before,” Hammer swallowed, suddenly very aware of how tight his chest felt, “and you have options.”
“So do you,” Seb’s brows pulled together, hurt breaking through, “but you think I would just, what, cheat on you?”
“No,” Hammer said quickly, very quickly, so Seb wouldn’t think Hammer thought that of him, “nothing like that. I know you wouldn’t cheat. I just, I don’t want you to feel stuck, or like you gave something up for me and can’t say it.”
Seb stared at Hammer for a long second, like he was trying to understand how Hammer had gotten from this to that. “Hammy,” he said, an edge to his voice, “I told you I didn’t want anyone else, and I meant it, okay?”
“Okay,” Hammer said, because he didn’t know what else to do with that.
Seb made a small, disbelieving sound, not quite a laugh. “I’m not going to need variety or whatever else you’ve convinced yourself of. It’s going to be different now. I want you, I always have.”
“Yeah, that’s what you seem to have told my ma,” Hammer muttered, but there was no real bite to it, because something in him had loosened at Seb’s words. It was going to be different now.
Seb shifted up slightly, enough to catch Hammer’s eyes again when he tried to look away. “Says the man who thought we weren’t even dating.”
“We weren’t, we haven’t been,” Hammer defended, “you skipped a lot of steps there, man.”
“I thought it was a given,” Seb said, and a hesitant look crept in, “but apparently not.”
Hammer reached up and slid his hand over Seb’s wrist, holding it against his face. “Whatever it is, I don’t want anyone else either,” he said, quieter than his usual cadence, “I just didn’t think I would get to have you like that, but I was going to talk to you about it after we retired.”
“You’ve always had me,” Seb’s expression shifted into something almost relieved, “and I will always be yours.” Hammer had wanted this for so long that he hadn’t planned for ever having it.
“Just mine?” Hammer asked because he needed to hear it again, and maybe he would ask again afterwards, and then one more time to make sure Seb was going to be his.
Seb’s thumb brushed along his cheek, and he kissed Hammer, a certainty in his kiss, a clear answer. “Just yours."