Chapter Text
Dull.
That was the only word Sakura could think of to describe her life currently. As she walked into the dimly lit bar, the wood creaked under her feet. It smelled of alcohol, iron and musk. It was a cloying smell that made Sakura's senses duller too.
Was it better? Not really. But it was better than staying cooped up in her apartment, drunk off her head, wondering whether it was worth the effort to make it to her bed. She worked long hours, longer than was healthy. It was better than leaving early and having to socialize.
It was painful these days. All her friends were married, most of them had kids. And the rest had a kid on their way. Sakura's life had not gone the way she had hoped. The memory that had made her leave her apartment and the suffocation of loneliness still haunted her after all these years.
It had been the first time the Konoha twelve had been together after the Fourth Ninja War. They had all met for dinner, finally able to talk about everything that had gone down during the War. They were all there, sharing stories about their exploits during the long battle they had raged. And he was the only one who hadn't been there.
That realization was what had finally broken Sakura. While she had sat there, talking with her friends, laughing at some stories and crying at some. But her heart had felt so heavy, like it was slowly going to drop out of her body. Her chest had felt tight and her lungs had worked overtime. And Sakura had smiled happily through it all, not letting her friends know the thoughts in her head. The tears had not stung her face until she had made it back home. And then she couldn't stop crying, even though she had resolved to herself she won't cry any more.
So, here she was, wearing the shortest skirt she owned with a cute, short top Ino had gifted her on her last birthday. She knew she wasn't going to find the love of her life in this seedy, stinky bar. And she wasn't even sure if sex with a random stranger would be bearable or fun. But it was better than anything. She needed something to fill her thoughts other than the thoughts of rejection that kept looping over and over in her head. Even mediocre sex with a forgettable man might help.
Sakura looked around the bar, sifting through her options. There were some faces she recognized, old comrades from the War. Maybe one of them was single and up for a night of fun. Thankfully, none of her friends were here to see her embarrass herself.
She walked towards the bar and sat herself down, signalling the bartender who came right away. Nursing the drink he poured in front of her, Sakura turned around to look at the people around her.
A decade after the War, things were stable and peaceful. Kakashi was the Hokage and he had been working hard to bring Konoha up to speed with the rest of the world. As the head of Konoha’s Medical Division, Sakura worked closely with him, quite often. He was one of the few people who had not settled down with a family, instead he had dedicated his entire life to Konoha itself.
So, it was a surprise to Sakura when she noticed his shock of silver hair slumped in a corner of the bar. She found her limbs moving automatically and before she knew it she was sitting across from him. She slammed her drink on the table to get his attention.
He looked up slowly and smiled with his eyes in his usual greeting, lowering his book as he acknowledged her.
“Sakura chan, fancy seeing you here,” he said warmly.
“Me? Fancy seeing the Hokage here,” Sakura said with a roll of her eyes. “And don't call me Sakura chan. I'm a fully grown adult now.”
“Yes, yes, my little kunoichi is all grown up now. You've been grown up for quite a while,” he agreed, cocking his head and resting it in his palm as he looked at Sakura.
“Are you drunk, Hokage Sama? Where is your Anbu detail and why aren't they stopping this embarrassment from happening?”
Kakashi giggled at Sakura. Wow, Sakura had rarely ever heard him giggle. He must be quite drunk. Sakura couldn't help the smile that tugged the corners of her lips. Okay, this was better than what she had expected from her night. Kakashi was drunk and Sakura was going to make the most of it. She almost laughed evilly in her head as she took in his appearance. His headband was slightly askew, his hair all over the place, falling over his forehead. He was dressed in his standard Hokage uniform minus the cloak. And he looked just like he always did, apart from the slight flush in his face from the alcohol.
“They’re somewhere in the shadows. I invited them to drink with me but they scolded me about it. So I'm here, drinking alone.” Kakashi was pouting. And Sakura could only tell because she was so close to his face and the lamp over their heads was lighting up the fabric of his mask as he moved. A strange thought flitted through Sakura's head but she smacked it down.
“I have an idea. Why don't you drink with me?” Kakashi turned his head towards Sakura with startling speed. His eyes were fixed on Sakura's now and even though he couldn't see all of her as she sat at the table, something about his look sent a warm tingle through her.
Sakura raised her glass to show him that she was doing exactly that. “Why is it that you're drinking alone, anyway?” Sakura cocked her head to match his.
Kakashi sighed ruefully, his finger absently playing with the rim of the sake cup. He still wore those fingerless gloves. Sakura's eyes were drawn to the action and to his hands. He was still the same guy, even after all these years of knowing Kakashi, Sakura realized little had changed about him. Not in the clothes he wore, not in the way he spoke. He was like an old relic, one that gave Sakura a strange sense of comfort.
“Everyone's busy with something. Kids, students, work.” He sounded grumpy. He was always lazy or laidback but he had never sounded grumpy. Maybe he was finally turning into an old man.
“Aren’t you supposed to be busy too? You know, being Hokage and all?” Sakura bemused as she looked at him.
“Mm,” Kakashi huffed at her. “Are you hating on me for having free time? So rude, Sakura chan.”
“Again with the chan. Ugh, you know what. I'm going to start calling you Kakashi from now on. No Sensei, no Hokage Sama. Just Kakashi. How's that for rude?”
Kakashi sat back with a shocked look. “You would do that to your dear, old, beloved Sensei. Have you no respect for me?”
He was good at pretending to look wounded. Sakura scoffed, “Never had any.” For good measure, she stuck her tongue out at him.
Kakashi gasped. His head dropped suddenly, his fists clenching as his forearms rested on the table. Sakura looked worried for a second that she might have actually offended him. His shoulders started shaking and then he threw his head back and laughed heartily.
This was truly, genuinely shocking to Sakura. Kakashi rarely laughed, at the most he would grin or smile at their jokes. He must be quite drunk. The sound sent a warm burst of delight through her and she found herself returning his mirth. Sakura smiled at him, giddily planning what kind of mischief she could achieve with this drunk Kakashi.
“Alright, fine, Sakura. You can call me Kakashi.”
“Kakashi,” Sakura tried his name. It felt strange on her tongue without the honorific. The name seemed to roll off her tongue nicely. The smile dropped from her face as she practiced it again and he gave her a confused look when she repeated it.
“Why do you keep saying my name like that, Sakura? You have a favour to ask of me?” Kakashi wiggled his eyebrows at Sakura. He was pouring more sake in his cup from a bottle Sakura hadn't even noticed earlier. Sakura looked at his face, trying to read his expressions. He had always been able to express a lot even with only one eye visible on his face. And now with both of his original eyes, he looked even more expressive. Sakura wondered what it would be like without the mask in the way.
“Favour? What favour could I ask of you? You're of no use to me,” Sakura scoffed again. He was the Hokage, sure he could grant her many favours. But for some reason Sakura was enjoying being mean to her former Sensei. If anything, he seemed to not mind. And his entertaining responses were so much better than the constant reminders of things she didn't have.
“You hurt me. To think my favourite student would be so mean, all grown up,” Kakashi lamented into his drink. She never saw him take his mask off, merely that his cup was empty the next moment. It was silly, this subterfuge, but Sakura found it so funny that he kept it up after all these years. She'd never seen him without it. They had been so curious as kids and tried so many times to unmask him but it had all failed.
“I'm not being mean. And what's this crap about your favourite student, hm?”
“But you are my favourite student, Sakura,” Kakashi looked at her with a hurt expression. Sakura studied his face. It was difficult to tell what was actually going on in his head.
“How drunk are you, Kakashi?”
“Not drunk, at all.” Kakashi was still pouring more sake in his cup. Sakura had not seen him drink this much ever. She wondered if the Anbu hiding in the shadows had any instructions to keep him from getting drunk in public and embarrassing himself. Was it part of their duties?
“You're pouring cup after cup of sake. How many did you have before I got here?”
“Two,” he said plainly. It was a little too suspicious.
“Just two? Really? You've had two cups and you're this drunk. Some lightweight you are,” Sakura mocked him.
“Two bottles, Sakura,” Kakashi corrected.
“What? Why? Are you going through something, Kakashi Sensei?” Sakura marvelled at the sudden switch to concern in her voice.
Kakashi covered his face to block the hiccup trying to escape him. “I met with Gai. He challenged me. Something about youth. I don't know which one of us suggested sake drinking as a competition. Gai gave out a while ago. He's passed out over there,” Kakashi pointed his chin towards Gai slumped over in a booth, his wheelchair next to it. “So, here I am, drinking and reading by myself, when you came and joined me.”
“Ah, so that's why you're drunk, huh. Your and Gai Sensei’s competitions. So weird,” Sakura rolled her eyes.
“Hey, there's nothing weird about a lifelong friendship that's all about uplifting each other.”
“Oh, right,” Sakura's cheeks heated up with embarrassment. “That's actually such a nice thing, Sensei,” she mumbled softly. There was a strange feeling in her heart, something twinged with shame and affection. She looked at him again, a little more closely this time. He looked so soft. His hair had a beautiful glow under the yellow light of the tungsten bulb. It looked like a golden halo. His eyes were hooded and dark, his hand on his face as elegant as always. The harsh light and deep shadows on his face made the sharp angles of his face look a little sharper. She wondered once again, what he looked like underneath it.
The silence between them stretched out and Sakura felt a little uncomfortable, twisting in the seat, realising her thighs were sticking to it. She looked at him, hoping that he hadn't noticed her embarrassing herself. He was stretched out on the chair, one arm over the backrest and the other holding up his same old green Icha Icha.
Sakura hadn't noticed when he had pulled it out and started reading it. As she took in his objectively attractive form, a memory resurfaced that made her face heat up.
Sakura might not get laid often but that didn't mean she didn't know pleasure. She had built a nice collection of sex toys to date. She used them often, almost every night. She couldn't sleep without an orgasm these days. And the book Kakashi was reading was one she had used as relief material. More than a few times. The spine of the book was almost completely worn at that certain fold. Sakura realized with a blush that he was probably around the part with all those spicy scenes.
A thought occurred to her and she rushed to shove it in the deepest darkest parts of her brain. But it resurfaced uneasily, and she let it run its course. Had Kakashi ever read one of these books while masturbating?
Wait, oh no. The next thought was way worse. The thought of Kakashi masturbating led to the thought of Kakashi having sex. And that thought led to the very dangerous thoughts of Kakashi having sex with her! Shit.
Could she possibly consider Kakashi as the answer she was seeking today? Could Kakashi be the man she would have sex with tonight?
Oh. She started entertaining the thought as she finished her drink. Maybe it was the alcohol giving her delusional courage but Sakura was about to give it all to this thought.
“I haven't got a cup of my own, can I drink from yours?” Even before he could answer Sakura picked his cup up and drank it all up.
“That's mine,” Kakashi took the cup from her grip and filled it back up. He fixed her with a silent glare as he tilted the cup and poured the sake in his mouth without taking his mask off.
Sakura felt a sudden dip in her stomach at the action. The sake spilled over his lips, she could see the fabric cling to his skin where it was wet. She was supposed to be disgusted by this messy action but all she felt was a strange sense of pull towards him. He noticed her eyes zoning in on his mouth and raised an eyebrow. Shit, did he notice?
She had not thought about it before this moment. Maybe because of a sense of decorum, maybe her obsession with Sasuke. Maybe it was because he always seemed like an impossibility, out of reach. She had just never imagined Kakashi Sensei in any of her dirty scenarios. But suddenly it was a possibility. And she couldn't stop.
She shivered as she sat there. Not answering Kakashi's raised eyebrow, Sakura kept staring at him. She knew he was well shaped beneath the green vests he always wore. She had seen him in sleeveless shirts but never without a shirt. Shit, she was now starting to wonder what he looked like without a shirt.
Bet he looked good, the thought came unwarranted. What the fuck? Sakura, get a grip.
But Sakura couldn't get a grip. The thought kept coming back as the second cup of sake hit her tongue. She tried to lean forward so she could catch a glimpse of his thighs. Wow, bitch, you're insane, she told herself.
If Kakashi noticed, he didn't display it. Sakura could try harder, she didn't mind. Because what was never a possibility was turning into one. It had not existed before this night and that didn't matter at all. Because Sakura's thoughts started running at full speed. She started wondering more and more. Shit, the alcohol was getting her heated up.
She poured herself some more sake, trying to gear up and build the courage to actually flirt with him. She looked at him immersed in his book and she wondered how he could be reading such a smutty book in public. Kakashi might be many things, but he was a weirdo. A weirdo who suddenly started looking sexier and sexier as he sat there, sprawled along the cushioned seat, hiding his face behind his book.
Sakura suddenly wanted to grab it all and strip it away until she could see who he was underneath that mask and facade he always put up. With a brazen plan in mind, Sakura got up and plopped herself right next to him.
She leaned into his space, pressing her palm right next to where his thigh rested and shoved her face in the book to read what he was reading. This close she could feel his body heat and it set something ablaze in her. She could smell him and it was almost as intoxicating as all the alcohol Sakura had downed. He smelled of the sake, and like a forest struck with lightning. She could smell his musky cologne beneath it and she couldn't help but shiver slightly, as she leaned over his lap. Her heart was thundering in her chest as she tried to read the words on the page.
“What are you doing there, Sakura?” Kakashi's voice sounded amused. Oh thank fuck, Sakura thought. At least, he wasn't about to swat her away.
“Just seeing what's so interesting about this book you're reading that you completely started ignoring me.” Sakura pouted as she continued to read. Huh, this really was the part with the steamy scene.
“I'm sure there are more comfortable positions than this to read,” he said in a low voice as he leaned forward towards her ear.
His voice sent a shiver down Sakura's spine and she swallowed the lump in her throat. Oh, this wasn't good. What happened next was even worse because Sakura did not know how to handle it.
He grabbed her by her arm and pulled her back until she was flush to his side. Then he curled that arm around her shoulder to keep her there. He extended the book in his hand towards her face. And then he spoke again, in that same voice. It turned all of Sakura's thoughts into static.
“Here, we can read together now.”