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A typical cluster will have up to 5 mates connected to a single person and to each other. Not every member of a cluster must be mates but traditionally most are. There can be other mates outside of this main cluster, but it is unusual to see more than 6 mates in a cluster home for a prolonged period. Or for a single person to have more than 5 mates. With stereotypes of being flighty or noncommittal with your time or stretching past your limits should you take on any more. A common saying is that each cluster mate takes one of their mate's hearts. In a "circuit" cluster, sometimes referred to as a "complete" cluster by more traditional people, each member is mated with each other and end up "trading in all 5" in that spiritually they have 5 new hearts, one from each of their mates, and that all 5 of theirs are across the cluster keeping them connected.
When Rocky left for their mission, they and Adrian were each other's only long term mates. And certain acquaintances had begun asking if they had been looking for another mate yet. They hadn't. They had no plans to look for another mate. In truth some small part of them was glad to be rid of the comments following them around when they had left for Tau Ceti. But after the first few years alone they would have gladly heard every irritating comment in the world about expanding their cluster if it meant that they were back with Adrian.
They had not expected to fall for the alien they met at the resistant star. But in the end it didn't matter, they had a planet of their own to return to. They had been so happy when they had been told they could go back. Rocky would never want to jeopardize that for them over their own inconveniently timed feelings. But they had wanted wanted wanted, and they had been longing to tell Adrian all about what wonderful life there was out there and how the one they got to meet was obviously the best. Knowing that would never happen was draining them.
They knew they would probably die of the same 'radiation' sickness that took their crew before they completely lost their mind. That didn't stop them from imagining all the horrible ways they could go insane. They debated briefly, simply leaving the ship or not eating, but ultimately decided it would only be fitting for them to die to the same thing that took the rest of their crew. Maybe they had never been meant to make it back to Erid. Maybe they had only been supposed to survive long enough to help Grace save their planet. If that was the case they thought it was a cruel joke by the universe, but they would never begrudge Grace for the hope they had given them.
They hated the silence that surrounded them with the ships engines dead. They hated the knowledge that this would be the only thing they would hear for the rest of their life. They hated knowing that Adrian had either found someone new without them or has spent all this time alone as well. They hated knowing Grace was out there returning to a planet that hadn't seen their worth and had sent them off to die. They hated that Grace still cared to go back. They hated knowing that somewhere out there was someone who would get to hold Grace one day. They hated that they wanted that to be them.
Was this why they wouldn't make it home? Since when did they hold so much hate within them?
They had once chosen to come out here to save their planet. They must have had so much love for their home to do that. Where had it gone? Had it seeped out into the abyss like the Taumeoba through the walls of their ship? Slowly leaving to keep them alive by themselves for so long. They knew why no one had left the orbit before. Eridians were never meant to be alone. They had gone out where they were never supposed to and this would be their due punishment. They would die out here like the rest of their crew. Alone, in pain, surrounded by nothing but the silence.
Their only comfort was that Grace was somewhere, out there and alive. Maybe when they had reached Earth they would be able to send a ship to Erid's star in time. When they saw it wasn't getting brighter.
Brighter.. they hadn't thought about the light coming from their star when it had gotten sick. It was the heat energy they could measure and they noticed that much faster. But Grace had talked about watching their star dim over the course of the Hail Mary's development. And after talking about how humans would describe smiles as warm or bright, even comparing them to Sol, Rocky could understand the horror of watching such an important light dim.
Grace was undoubtedly the brightest thing around, even Tau Ceti and it's natural given immunity to astrophage could not compare to how warm they felt when they smiled with all their energy. Even knowing first hand how cold they really are. And when they had to say goodbye and head their separate ways, they had seen Grace's smile dim, just a bit.
Did they miss Rocky as much as Rocky missed them? Selfishly, they hoped so. They hoped that Grace would remember them even after they had succumbed to the stars.
They really were horrible now weren't they? Had they always been like this? Why had Adrian cared so much about them? Why had Grace cared beyond the mission? Did Grace care beyond the mission? They wanted to think so, but they've been wallowing in their fear for many days now and they weren't feeling very positive.
If only they could hear them again. They had already saved them from the emptiness once. But they had fuel then, they could be helpful then. Now they were just waiting to die. There would be no saving Grace coming from the vast unknown. Their ship was just another piece of silent, invisible space debris.
They had only the silence left to greet them.
Grace had mentioned that some humans believed they would still exist after they die and that they would be able to see dead friends and family there. They hope that's true. They hope Adrian can find them there if they still want to after that long. They will still want to see Adrian. They hope Grace will want to find them there too, but they probably wouldn't expect them there so soon.
..They hope their crewmates are not too mad that they failed the mission. They'll understand when they're mad if they still exist. But they hope they aren't so mad that Rocky can't tell them they're sorry, that they tried, and how they missed them. They began to ache close to their core, their energy sacks running on last reserves and sleep calling to them like death.
They had been avoiding sleeping and it had completely ruined their natural cycles. The injuries they had received attempting to solve the infestation were aching for them to rest. This wasn't new, their cycles had all been disjointed before meeting Grace. They didn't enjoy going back to it but they couldn't sleep by themselves. They were just sane enough now they couldn't convince themselves that their dead crewmates could watch them. And especially now that the astrophage that had protected them and was meant to take them home was gone. They knew that anytime they fell asleep they could die. But they could feel it's pull.
As they almost dropped into sleep, they heard something slam into the ship. Normally this would be cause for concern but if the ship broke apart they would just die faster. And they were so so tired. Whatever it was could kill them or wait until they woke up. It apparently didn't get that message because soon enough a clanging started.
"Rocky!"
Oh, they've started hearing Grace's voice, it had taken a few years before Rocky began imagining the voices of their crew. But Grace was so important to them. It makes sense it wouldn't take long.
"I don't know if you can hear me!"
That's odd, they had never imagined someone that way. They were supposed to be a false anchor, not unsure.
"But I'm here, buddy! I'm on your hull!"
They were? Why would they imagine them out there? Was this some hallucinated rescue their mind had created as they shut down?
...
There's no new sound, it was really just their mind-
"I have my EVA suit radio on!"
Or not. If Grace really was here..
"Same frequency as always!"
They had come back for them?
"Say something! Let me know you're okay!"
They had come back to save them?!
Everything in them pushed against the edge of sleep that remained as they began to hurtle down the hallways at full speed towards the ships communications. Ignoring every ache and pain that weighed them down in favour of this glimmer of hope. They briefly considered they might still be hearing things that weren't there, but Grace called to them again from just beyond the ship wall and they sounded so real.
They finally reached the radio and turned it on as fast as possible.
"Rocky?!"
Their voice comes so clear over the radio and they nearly collapse in relief. It still feels so impossible.
"♮Grace, question?♬" They try to keep their voice steady, if they devolve into sounds Grace can't hear they can't communicate. They need to know this is completely real.
"Yes!" Grace sounds so relieved to hear them, shouldn't that be Rocky's 'job' at this juncture? "Yeah, buddy! It's me!"
They can feel their voice climbing in excitement, and do everything they can to stay within Grace's audible range.
"♪You are here, Question?!♮"
They hear Grace laugh once over the radio. That beautiful bright chime-like laugh that reaches straight to their hearts. One they had been sure they would never get to hear again.
"Yes! I'm here!"
They can't help themselves anymore, they're still trying to process the fact that Grace has returned for them. They really had been trying, but their speech gave way to high squeals of joy and disbelief.
"♭You are...♫! You...♩! You are here!♬" They finally repeat, slightly hysterical.
"Yes! Set up the airlock tunnel!" Their Grace replies, unperturbed.
Oh no! No! What if the Taumeoba hasn't gotten out in Grace's ship at all and they don't know what they're facing. They need to warn them!
"♮Warning! Taumeoba-82.5 is-♫"
"I know! I know. It can get through xenonite. That's why I'm here. I knew you'd be in trouble."
Of course their Grace knew. How else would they have known to come back? For all they got on to their human about sleeping so they didn't become stupid, Rocky felt pretty stupid themselves this tired. How had they even found Rocky? That didn't matter right now-
"𝄞You save me!♬"
Their saving Grace had returned for them, once more. This must have been a gift from the universe, but they had no clue how they could ever have done enough to deserve the wonderful Alien who had turned around to get them.
"Yes. I caught the Taumeoba in time. I still have fuel. Set up the tunnel. I'm taking you to Erid."
Their Grace was coming to Erid?! They would get to save Erid after all and Grace would be there with them!
"♫You save me and you save Erid! ♪♮!♩"
They're losing it, they feel as if maybe they have begun hallucinating in their sleep like humans do.
"Set up the darn tunnel!"
Oh their Grace, they are still as smart and wonderful and stupid and frustrating as ever. They have missed them so much.
"♬Get back in your ship! Unless you want to look at tunnel from outside!♭"
"Oh, right!"
So so stupid, they love love love them.