Archive of Our Own

Jisung lost control again.

He didn't mean to, but it was so easy to slip into that headspace where he couldn't tell happiness from stress.

Did he even like his job? He wasn't sure anymore.

It hadn't been anyone's fault. He'd snapped without warning, without cause.

All Chan had said was that he was a little slow on the count into the chorus on the new choreo they were learning, and he was right. Jisung knew he was right. He'd felt himself lag slightly as he transitioned between moves.

It was his fuck up, and he'd started shouting anyway.

He had to stop doing this. He knew he had to stop.

It was just…hard. He got stuck in the moment and his head got so loud and he just…lost control.

So he ran. It was the only thing he knew how to do.

Fuck up, run. Fuck up, run. Fuck up, run. And then by the time he got home, hopefully everything would be okay again.

This was no different.

He'd shouted for no reason, he'd scared Jeongin and Felix, Chan got that look on his face when he was pissed because he was already dealing with so much shit and now Jisung was adding more shit to the ever-growing pile of shit…so he bolted.

It was easier that way. He couldn't make anything worse if he wasn't there.

He ran until his legs were burning, opting for the stairs instead of the lift, and almost tripped multiple times as he hurried down them.

He needed air. He needed air or he was going to explode.

He made it to the street and crouched down outside the company doors, hugging his knees to his chest and burying his face in his arms, just trying to breathe.

But then…then someone found him. That was new.

A small, gentle hand rested on his back, and the rustling of clothes alerted him to someone sitting beside him.

They didn't talk, and Jisung wanted to look up, wanted to ask who he was, wanted to ask why he was bothering with the crazy person curled up in the middle of the street, but he couldn't lift his head, couldn't get his voice to work. If he lifted his head, the world would come back, and he wasn't ready to face it yet.

The stranger sat beside him, hand on his back, body a few inches away from Jisung's so he didn't feel crowded.

Maybe he should've been panicking. A stranger was touching him, sitting beside him. This could be some kind of ploy to have him kidnapped.

Maybe being kidnapped would be a mercy at this point.

The hand started rubbing gentle circles into Jisung's back, and he shivered, leaning closer to the person's warmth.

If he was going to be kidnapped, might as well enjoy the body heat while he could.

The hand paused, and then a whole arm was draped across his back, tugging him into the stranger's chest, and Jisung didn't fight it. He actually smiled as he leaned in, he needed the hug.

Jisung didn't know how much time passed, but eventually he felt calm enough to lift his head, his heart pounding in his chest as he started to think about who could be holding him.

It's probably not a kidnapper. It's probably not a kidnapper. It's almost definitely a kidnapper

He tilted his head back and found—Minho?

Jisung blinked.

Minho? 

Minho seemed to sense his gaze and looked down, dark eyes meeting Jisung's. "Oh. Hi. Are you feeling a little bit better now?"

Jisung just stared, speech failing him.

Minho's lips twitched upwards slightly. "Why are you looking at me like that? I could tell you were stressed, and we all know you like to run away when you get overwhelmed. I figured you'd freak out and spiral until you exhaust yourself, and we need you to have energy or the choreo's never going to get learnt."

Jisung sighed and let his head flop back against Minho's chest. "Yeah. I guess. I'm sorry."

Minho shrugged. "It's not something you need to apologise for. We can't always control our minds."

They stayed like that for a little longer, just quietly existing in each other's space, then Minho shifted, pulling back slightly and sitting Jisung up on his own.

Jisung shuffled away, cheeks flushing.

Of course, Minho probably had better things to do than sit out here all night. They still had work to do.

Minho brushed his hands over his sweatpants and turned his head, studying Jisung silently.

Jisung tried not to fidget. He failed.

"My friends are meeting up in the bar at the end of the road," Minho said eventually. "I said I'd go meet them. Do you want to come with me or head back upstairs to the others?"

Jisung bit his lip, his brain whirring as he tried to process the question, tried to form an answer.

It was easy considering he'd been given options. He knew he didn't want to go back upstairs, didn't want to have to hide from Chan's disappointment and Changbin's worry, but did he want to go with Minho? They weren't his friends, he didn't know them, was it really okay?

But if it was between that and going back upstairs…and Minho had offered…

"I want to come with you." Jisung whispered.

Minho smiled. "Awesome!" He stood up and reached down to grab Jisung's arm and pull him up as well. "They're going to love you, I promise. They've been so curious about all my new friends."

"How long have you known them?" Jisung asked, trailing after Minho as he started walking down the street.

"Some I met in Middle School, some I met later." Minho shrugged. "I don't remember exactly."

"That's cool." Jisung nodded, scuffing his shoes over the pavement. "Guess that's one good thing about school that I missed out on."

"What, making friends?" Minho looked over at him. "You had friends, didn't you?"

Jisung shrugged.

Minho was quiet for a moment, then looked forward again. "Well, you have friends now."

Jisung sighed. "Sometimes I think I do, and then I do shit like this and I think…nah. If you guys didn't have to work with me…if I couldn't write half decent lyrics…I'm too much effort to be worth it. The way Chan looks at me…"

"He's worried and stressed and overworked, it has nothing to do with you." Minho said firmly. "You're not too much effort, you're never too much effort, and we are your friends. Okay?"

Jisung didn't respond, his stomach was too busy tying itself in knots.

"I'll prove it to you," Minho said quietly a moment later and grabbed Jisung's hand, tugging him forward until they were walking side by side. 

Jisung looked up at him, studying the harsh lines of his features and the softeness to his cheeks, the shimmer to his eyes.

Jisung's gaze fell to their joined hands. His fingers were sticking straight out, not curled like Minho's were.

He hesitated, then curled his fingers, lightly squeezing Minho's hand, then quickly looked up to check it was okay.

Minho looked the same. 

Jisung relaxed.

Maybe he was right, maybe Jisung wasn't too much, maybe he was just the wrong kind of enough.

Maybe Chan and Changbin and Felix and Seungmin and I.N and that demon Hyunjin (Jisung still needed to come up with a revenge plan for last week when Hyunjin had tripped him up during dance practice) all had different expectations, and maybe Jisung didn't fit any of them, but he seemed to fit alright with Minho, and maybe that was all that mattered.

Maybe all he needed was one person who didn't think he was a mess to look after and fix. Maybe that would help him learn how to slip into the moulds the others had made for him, the moulds the company had made for him.

He squeezed Minho's hand a little tighter, and kept walking.

******

Months passed, and Minho was dangerously close to becoming Jisung's safe space.

As in: Jisung wanted to spend every second wrapped around Minho like he was hugging a stuffed animal. Koala bear style.

Minho wasn't affectionate. Not in the obvious ways. 

He wasn't big on hugs, he wasn't massively talkative, he needed to shut himself away at the end of the day to regroup, but you know what? Jisung didn't care. He liked hiding away at the end of the day, too, and he also didn't like talking or touching when he was overwhelmed. They could just exist silently together in the same space, and it was great.

But just because Minho wasn't affectionate in that way, didn't mean he wasn't affectionate at all. It was just…different.

He cared in smaller gestures. Like bringing Jisung a water bottle when he was breathing too hard during practice, like stacking Jisung's plate with food at mealtimes like he was trying to fatten up a turkey, like waiting for him outside the studio when he was working late just to walk home with him, Chan, and Changbin at 3:00a.m.

Like taking him out to see his friends whenever Jisung got overwhelmed and ran, because apparently that was a habit now. And Minho's friends were cool, so Jisung didn't mind. They helped him relax. Seeing Minho act normal and calm with them…it was nice. It rubbed off on Jisung a little.

Then things started to get a little bit…strange. And it was all Jisung's fault. Because suddenly he couldn't look at Minho without seeing how goddamn beautiful he was, and he couldn't stop thinking about how lovely it was when Minho accepted a hug, how his body felt warm and soft and safe. 

He wasn't stupid, he understood what was happening in his brain, but he didn't particularly like it, because it meant he had a crush on Minho, and Minho didn't have a crush on him back.

Why would he? That would be crazy.

They were working together, they couldn't risk it. It would be too dangerous. They could destroy their careers.

But still…Jisung really wanted to kiss Minho sometimes, especially when something happened and his eyes went all big and round and shiny and he smiled so wide…

Jisung melted into a little gooey puddle just thinking about it.

Clearly, he had a problem.

He tried to keep it subtle, tried to pretend his stupid crush didn't exist, but sometimes he slipped. Sometimes Minho caught him staring and he looked away too quickly, cheeks flushing pink. Sometimes he got too clingy, too smiley, too relaxed.

It wasn't like him. The others knew it, Jisung knew it, Minho knew it. But nobody ever said anything. Maybe they were too happy that Jisung wasn't freaking out every ten seconds to care that he was actively trying to fuse his body to Minho's at any given opportunity.

So Jisung knew he wasn't exactly being subtle, but he tried not to think about it, because if he thought about it, he realised that Minho totally knew he had a crush on him, and that meant that Jisung could be on course to ruin his first ever proper friendship with another human being, and that was the most terrifying thing to think about ever.

But then things started to get even stranger, because Minho stopped pushing Jisung away when he initiated contact too many times. He didn't gently redirect Jisung to Felix when he got too clingy, he just sighed and patted Jisung's head before carrying on with whatever he'd been doing.

He started smirking when he caught Jisung staring, wriggling his eyebrows in a way that made Jisung feel like he was going crazy because what did that mean?

He started taking Jisung out without his friends when he got overwhelmed, and that was even better than Jisung had thought it would be. It was so…peaceful. It was like Minho turned all the switches off in Jisung's brain, letting him exist in blissful silence for a little while.

But the worst thing was all the gay jokes Minho had started making.

Had anyone even known he was gay? Jisung wasn't sure. But they definitely did now.

Every other sentence was 'oh my God you just reminded me of that guy I liked back in school', and 'oh my God that's such a gay outfit. I want to wear it', and 'Jisung looks so fucking kissable and I want to die' (Jisung had overheard that one whilst very sneakily spying on Minho while he was on the phone, but that wasn't the point).

Naturally Jisung could only come to one conclusion.

Well, two conclusions.

Either: Minho was severely gay and horny and needed to get laid, or he had a crush on Jisung.

Jisung thought about it a little bit harder.

Considering Jisung also had a dick, that would qualify Jisung-Minho sex as gay sex, right? Which technically meant that his two conclusions weren't mutually exclusive.

However, this also meant that Jisung was now being perceived in lots of ways that he wasn't used to, and he felt very overwhelmed. Until he saw Minho and then he just wanted cuddles (and maybe sex) and all the bad voices in his head went quiet.

Jisung tried not to think about it too hard. They were so busy, and there wasn't really time to do anything, so he tried to push confusing Minsung theories to the back of his mind (he was being far too obvious about his crush if their fans were already picking up on it, he'd have to work harder so he didn't end up fired).

More months passed, and then they were given a three day break.

Jisung was practically buzzing when they left the company building.

He couldn't go home because there wasn't enough time to go all the way to Malaysia, but Jeongin, Hyunjin, Changbin and Seungmin could all go home, which was great.

Jisung had assumed Minho would also go home, but he didn't pack a bag and leave with the others right after practice finished, so maybe he didn't want to go home this time. 

Felix and Chan couldn't go home, so they went back to the dorm, chatting and laughing loudly, and Jisung followed them, smiling brightly as their happiness filtered back to him.

This is nice.

Minho stepped closer, his arm brushing Jisung's, and Jisung tried not to blush.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 

They were literally wearing giant winter coats, why was he blushing? It wasn't anything close to skin contact. He would like for his blood to remain in his heart.

"The stars at pretty," Minho said softly, and Jisung snorted.

"What stars?" He asked, tilting his head back and looking at the cloudly, empty sky. "Stars don't exist here. Have you ever even seen a star?"

Minho's ears went pink, and he mumbled something under his breath.

Jisung giggled and rolled his eyes. "You're so silly, Hyung."

Minho sighed, but Jisung swore he could see a tiny smile twisting Minho's lips.

Jisung grinned. "I saw stars a few times in Malaysia. They look like the sparkles in your eyes."

Minho froze for half a second before letting out a breathless laugh, pink creeping up his neck. "Thanks?"

Jisung hummed, bumping arms playfully. "You're very welcome, Minho-ssi."

"Yah!" Minho cuffed the back of his head lightly, eyes narrowed in annoyance, but the upward tilt to his lips betrayed him. "Such a brat, Jisungie."

Jisung laughed. "Since when was speaking formally brat behaviour?"

"Since it makes us sound…distant," Minho said. "Since it makes me seem untouchable. You're not the only one who thinks you don't quite fit in, Sung-ah."

"No? I never would've guessed." Jisung teased lightly. "Guess we'll just have make our own homes for each other. We aren't called Stray Kids for nothing."

Minho swallowed, tipping his head back to blink at the sky. "Stray Kids…searching for a home."

"And we'll find it." Jisung promised. "You're weird as hell, Hyung, but it's a good kind of weird. A nice weird. I like it."

Minho kept blinking at the sky. Jisung had to grab his arm and tug him to the side to stop him walking into a lampost.

"Careful." He muttered, then patted Minho's arm and let go, shoving his hands back into his pockets. "How come you aren't heading home?"

Minho looked at Chan and Felix walking ahead of them, then glanced briefly at Jisung before looking away again. "Honestly? I wanted to see if you'd come with me. My mum's been asking to meet you, and I could—I could show you my cats."

Jisung was no longer a rapper, he was a puddle of goo. "Sure. I'd like that."

Minho's shoulders slumped, and he was definitely smiling now. "Okay."

"I do have to warn you, though, I am slightly allergic to cats." Jisung held up his thumb and first finger so that they were almost touching. "This much allergic. Nothing like Binnie. I'll probably just sneeze a lot and get itchy eyes. Like hayfever but for cats."

Minho's brow creased. "I didn't know, I'm sorry. You don't have to—"

"I love cats, Min. I'll happily take the sneezing if it means I get kitty cuddles." Jisung smiled happily.

Minho stared at him for a moment, the nodded once. "Okay."

Jisung grinned and repeated, "okay."

******

Jisung had a cat on his face.

He'd walked into Minho's home like a very normal human being. He'd been polite, he'd engaged in small talk with Minho's parents, he'd laughed when he was supposed to, but then the cats had come to investigate him, and he'd gotten distracted.

He'd crouched down to say hi to them all, holding out his hands for them to sniff, and then trying not to squeal like a child when they nuzzled into his hands.

He stroked them, sinking onto his knees to get closer to them, but there were three cats and he only had two hands and the more he tried to offer attention to all three cats, the needier they got, and the more they tried to climb onto Jisung.

Apparently, he was a cat magnet. He loved it.

He was laughing as they climbed him, yelping slightly in between laughs when their claws slipped out and jabbed his skin.

Somehow, he ended up on his back with one cat lying on his face, one cat on his chest, and one cat meowing noisily in his ear.

Jisung wondered if he'd found fluffy heaven.

Then he sneezed and scared all the cats away. It was tragic.

He picked himself off the floor and returned to socialising with Minho's parents like the polite human being he was.

Time passed quickly in Minho's house, maybe because he spent a lot of it sleeping.

For the first time in years, he had nothing to do except sleep, eat, and play with adorable fluffy cats. He wondered if it would be acceptable for him to quit work and permanently move in as Minho's fourth cat. Probably not.

They only really had two days, but it was enough.

Jisung felt like a whole new person by the time they had to leave.

Minho looked worried as they headed to the bus. "Your eyes are really red."

"Dori thinks my face is his bed," Jisung grinned. "It's fine. It'll go down in a few hours."

"I'm sorry," Minho said anyway.

Jisung waved a hand. "I don't care. They're adorable." He sneezed.

Minho's lips twitched. "Okay."






*****

The next few months were a mess of chaos and song releases and music videos and too much craziness for Jisung to keep track of.

Chan looked like he was hardly sleeping, Jisung hated how much he could relate to that.

Unfortunately, it made the both of them more snappy, which never ended well. Minho had to pick Jisung off the practice room floors multiple times, walking him home while Jisung cried quietly into his hoodie sleeves.

They were all trying their best, and Jisung didn't blame Chan. There was a lot of pressure on him at the moment, but Jisung wished he could be a little bit stronger. He was the one who snapped under the weight, and he wasn't even carrying as much as Chan was. He was always the one who shouted first, he was the one that caused the problems, so how was it fair that he was the one to cry, too?

At least the others stayed out of it. Jisung didn't think he'd be able to cope if they started getting frustrated with him, as well. It wasn't his fault he couldn't handle it like they could.

They got another break six months after the first, and Jisung was a mess by then.

Minho didn't even hesitate before snatching Jisung at the end of practice and dragging him to the bus, ignoring Jisung's protests that he hadn't packed anything for him to go away.

Minho paid for the bus and shoved Jisung right to the back, pushing him against the window and sitting beside him, blocking him in.

Jisung shifted nervously, fidgeting with the frayed sleeve of his hoodie. "Minho…"

"Shhh." Minho took Jisung's hands and set them on his thighs, quietly calming his restless energy. "It's not your fault, Jisungie. None of this is your fault."

"It's not Chan's fault, either," Jisung whispered.

"It's nobody's fault." Minho agreed. "It's been hard for all of us, but I think I can confidently say it's been harder for me than anybody else."

Jisung blinked up at him. "Seriously? But you're always so calm."

"Because you need me to be," Minho smiled softly. "I'm used to the pressure, Sungie, believe me. It hasn't been a problem for a long time. I just hate seeing you so upset."

Jisung didn't know how to respond to that, so he didn't.

They got to Minho's house a couple hours later, and his cats were just as cute as they had been the first time.

By the time they left two days later, Jisung was sneezing every five seconds and fighting tears at the painful itching in his eyes.

He still thought it was worth it.

"You do know you can push Dori off your face, right?" Minho muttered on the bus, handing Jisung a tissue to dab his watering eyes.

"But he's so cute!" Jisung protested. "I love his cuddles."

Minho rolled his eyes fondly. "You're so ridiculous."

"You love it though." Jisung stuck his tongue out at him teasingly.

Minho's huffed a quiet laugh. "Yeah, I do."

Jisung grinned and pressed the tissues to his ears, fighting the urge to scrub them until they bled. He'd made that mistake when he was younger, and he didn't really feel like making it again.






*****

The chaos resumed the next day, and Jisung fell back into the rhythm of it, but he felt a little calmer now. Like someone had hit the reset button on his brain, and his emotional capacity had been reset to zero.

He was a lot more at ease, and he knew the others could tell, because they seemed calmer as well. Coming up to Jisung to laugh and joke with him, whereas before they tended to keep their distance a little, clearly worried they were going to overwhelm him.

Hyunjin was still a demon. He tripped Jisung in practice again on Tuesday.

But whatever. Jisung felt like he was finally finding his footing, like he was finally managing to keep his head above water, and he was loving it.

He was actually enjoying his job. He'd almost forgotten that that was the whole point.

Practices went smoother, they got a lot more done when they weren't cut short by Jisung running away. Writing sessions were a lot easier now that Jisung and Chan weren't constantly feeling like they were dancing around each other. Recording sessions felt much more relaxed, which led to faster takes and quicker producing.

Everyone was just…falling into place. And it felt good. Really good.

He was also certain that Minho could tell he was doing better, because he was getting a hell of a lot more bold than he had been before.

The number of unnecessary gay statements were increasing, Jisung tried not to seem affected by it.

I am a gay man.

Good for you, Minho.

The weeks passed quickly, live shows and award shows and the fun kind of craziness filling their schedules until they could barely walk home at the end of the day.

Jisung loved it. He really loved it.

They were given another break once all the shows and releases had been wrapped up and completed for the year, and this one was longer. Jisung could go home if he wanted, but he wasn't sure if he did want that.

Chan and Felix could go home, not for long, but they were both complaining about missing the sun, so they were going to go lie on a beach for six days and then come back.

Everyone else was heading to their respective homes for family time.

Except Minho hadn't mentioned his plans yet, and Jisung was cautious about making plans himself when he didn't know what Minho was doing.

Everyone packed up and left the dorm early in the morning, and Jisung slept in because he could.

When he woke up and padded out of his room, hair messy and eyes full of sleep, he was bombarded by the smell of eggs and bacon.

Jisung smiled. 

Minho was still here. He was making breakfast. The kind of fatty breakfast that would put their stylists into a coma.

Jisung shuffled into the kitchen. "Morning." Fuck, his voice was rough.

The muscles in Minho's back tensed before he called back a casual, "good morning. The others are gone already."

"Okay." Jisung sidled up to the counter and started investigating the coffee machine. "How come you aren't going home this time?"

"I figured you deserved a break," Minho said. "I'm not entirely sure fighting allergies for days on end is exactly relaxing, although I appreciate you making the effort for my babies."

Jisung rolled his eyes, hiding his smile by turning to face the coffee machine. "I've told you before that I don't care, Minho. Your cats are adorable. They're worth the itchy eyes."

"Still." Minho lifted one shoulder half-heartedly. "Figured the apartment would be empty, so we could just chill here. My parents are going to be gone half the week, anyway. Our schedules didn't quite match up at such short notice."

"That's fair." Jisung finally figured out the coffee machine, and hot liquid splashed into his cup.

He nodded, satisfied, then peeked around to watch Minho cook.

His forearms were out. Jisung could see his veins. It was hot as fuck.

The coffee machine buzzed, and he turned back around to collect the steaming mug. "I'll go curl up on the couch, then. Let me know when breakfast is done."

Minho hummed, bobbing his head in a nod, and Jisung slipped out of the kitchen to settle onto the couch.

He'd slept for almost fourteen hours, and he was still exhausted. Maybe there was something wrong with him.

He drank his coffee slowly, savouring the taste, then grabbed a blanket and tugged it over his lap.

This dorm was cold as hell in the mornings.

He yawned, his eyes closing, and when they opened again, Minho was standing in front of him with a plate.

Jisung jumped, almost spilling coffee on himself, and he pressed a hand to his chest. "Jesus! Minho! You scared me!"

Minho huffed and set the plate down on Jisung's legs. "You're welcome."

Jisung stuck his tongue out at him, then dug in.

Minho turned the TV on and sat down on the couch beside him. "Anything you want to watch?"

Jisung shrugged, his mouth too full of eggs to reply.

Minho glanced over at him, then smiled widely and poked his cheek. "You're cute."

Jisung tried so hard not to blush.

Minho chuckled and looked back at the TV. "I'll just put something random, then." He clicked on something, then pulled out his phone and started doing something instead of watching what he'd put on.

A little while later, they finished breakfast, and Jisung shifted so he was leaning against Minho's shoulder.

Minho lifted his arm to wrap it around Jisung and tug him closer.

Jisung definitely blushed that time.

He fidgeted, because he was really, very close to Minho, and they were all alone, and they had nowhere to be, and Jisung felt like he could stay here forever…and that was slightly scary.

Minho noticed, because of cause he did, that worried crease to his brow making a reappearance. "Sungie? Are you anxious?"

Jisung mumbled.

Minho's hand slid upwards, sliding into Jisung's hair, his tone unbearably soft when he spoke again, "Sungie…what's wrong?"

Jisung shuddered as Minho's fingers scraped over his scalp, then tilted his head back, meeting Minho's worried gaze. "Do you like me?"

Minho's expression smoothed out. "Of course I like you, Sungie. We all like you."

"No, do you like me?" Jisung asked, and Minho shut down, his eyes going blank. Jisung licked his lips anxiously, and Minho's eyes followed the movement. Be brave. "Because—because I like you."

Minho's eyes jumped right back to his, his lips parting slightly. "Jisung…" He whispered breathily.

"Hi." Jisung whispered, like an idiot.

Minho's lips twitched. "You like me?"

"Umm, yeah." Jisung nodded.

Minho shifted, turning so that they were facing each other, and his phone slipped between the couch cushions. "I like you, too."

Jisung grinned, warmth blooming in his chest.

Minho's hand fell from his hair, tracing the curve of his cheek, then came to rest at the base of his neck. "I like you a lot."

"Can you kiss me?" Jisung asked eagerly.

Minho laughed, impossibly fond. "Have you ever been kissed before, Sungie?"

"Nope." Jisung wasn't even ashamed about it. "I’ve never really liked anyone before now."

Minho softened. "Cute," he murmured. "So cute."

Jisung swore he was going to overheat in a second.

Minho brought his other hand up to cradle Jisung’s face, and Jisung’s heart sped up. 

Is this actually happening?

Minho smiled, gentle and soft. “Are you okay?”

Jisung nodded, even though his body felt like it was running a marathon. 

Minho brushed his thumb over the base of his throat. “Can you say it out loud for me, Sungie?”

“Yes,” he mumbled. “I want it I want you please. I’m okay.”

“You’ll tell me if you’re not?” Minho pressed. 

“I will, I promise.” Jisung shifted uncomfortably. “Kiss me now.”

Minho huffed. “So demanding.”

Jisung wriggled, the heat in his chest spiralling south. 

Was that a good thing? He assumed so.

Minho leaned forward and pressed their lips together. It was just a brush, featherlight, but it had Jisung shivering and gasping like Minho had kissed something far more sensitive. 

Minho swallowed, pulling back to glance back up at Jisung, and he looked anxious. “Still want this?”

“Yes.” Jisung breathed, and he leaned back in, kissing Minho a little harder. 

Minho let out a high pitched noise and grabbed Jisung, pulling him forward until he was sitting in Minho’s lap. “Fuck—Jisung—”

Jisung cut him off with another kiss, still soft and tentative, but he felt like he was getting the hang of it. 

Then Minho tilted his head, deepening the kiss, and Jisung squeaked as his lips were forced open and suddenly there were tongues everywhere. 

It was really hot. 

Jisung pressed closer, bringing his chest flush with Minho’s, and his arms slid around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. 

Minho’s hands found his waist, gripping tightly like he was trying to hold Jisung in place, or maybe it was to stop him grabbing something else. 

That thought made Jisung’s dick start to harden in his pants. It was kind of uncomfortable. 

He wriggled, trying to find a more comfortable way to sit, and Minho groaned into his mouth, hands tightening on Jisung’s waist. 

“If you don’t want this to end right now,” Minho gritted out. “I’d suggest you stop moving.”

Jisung blinked, then blushed. “Oops.”

Minho rested his forehead against Jisung’s, breathing hard. “I really like you.”

“I really like you, too,” Jisung whispered.

Minho shook his head, their noses bumping. “No, I mean I really like you. I like your smile and your laugh and your beautiful eyes. I like the way you trust me to help you when you’re upset. I like the way you like my friends. I like the way you stubbornly give my cats love even though they make you sick. I just…I really like you, Jisung.”

Jisung’s eyes stung. “Hyung…”

Minho kissed Jisung’s cheek. “Sorry. Was that too much?”

“No.” Jisung whispered and buried his face in Minho’s neck, hugging him tightly. “I like your smile and your laugh and your eyes. They shine like the stars and remind me of home.”

A small, choked noise escaped Minho. “Jisung…”

Jisung kept going. “I like the way you look after me. I like how you never get frustrated with me when I’m struggling. You’re so patient with me, Hyung. And I like your friends because they’re nice people, which helps me trust you. Because only a nice person could make friends with nice people.” Jisung pretended he couldn’t feel Minho’s racing heart under his ear, and instead focused on his calming warmth as he hugged Jisung to his chest. “But, and I have to apologise for this, as much as I like you, I love your cats a lot more.”

Minho snorted. “I love them more than you, too, Jisungie.”

“Glad we’re on the same page, then.” Jisung grinned. 

Minho hummed, running his hands up and down Jisung’s back. “It’s scaring me that this is your first time doing…any of this. I haven’t been anyone’s first time since my own first time, and that was very confusing because it was also my partner’s first time, and neither of us knew what we were doing.”

“It doesn’t need to be perfect,” Jisung reassured him. “We don’t even need to do…that. I just want to be close to you.”

“But do you want to?” Minho asked. 

“Yes.” Jisung answered honestly. “But, I mean, that could just be me getting over-excited. Like I said, I’ve never done any of this before, so…”

Minho swallowed. “Can we—can we wait? I know we don’t have a lot of time for stuff like this, but I really don’t know how to…I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me,” Jisung kissed his neck. “But we can wait, of course we can. We have all the time in the world.”

Minho relaxed against him. “Thank you.”

Jisung rolled his eyes. “Minho, seriously, don’t thank me for shit like this.”

Minho grumbled wordlessly. 

Jisung chuckled. “Grumpy kitty.”

Minho bit Jisung’s shoulder and Jisung yelped, setting them both laughing. 

They settled back down on the couch, cuddled up against each other, and switched the TV back on, numbing their brains with cartoons until they fell asleep. 

*******

Their next break came sooner than they had expected. 

Jisung had been extra clingy to Minho during the few months they were working, mostly because everything was crazy, but also because he really liked hugging Minho.

Jisung knew the boys knew something was different with them. Changbin kept making loud, obnoxious jokes whenever he was around the two of them and saw them doing something even remotely gay (how was brushing fingers gay?), but Chan usually shut that down pretty quickly. Which gave Jisung hope that they weren't going to be made to separate and go back to just friends.

Not that they would be able to go back to just friends at this point, they'd probably just have to lie their asses off to everybody, which would really suck.

But maybe Chan didn't care what Minho and Jisung were doing as long as Jisung wasn't causing problems and having a breakdown every few days. Jisung had definitely caught him smiling a few times when he saw them together.

There were even a few nights where Jisung didn't need to hide away in the studio with the others, and those were the nights where Minho stole Jisung and took him out somewhere.

Sometimes it was to the usual bar with his friends, which Jisung was honestly starting to love, because his friends were awesome, and sometimes he took Jisung somewhere more…private.

Jisung was too scared to call them dates at first. 

Surely a walk through the park at ten o'clock at night wasn't a date? Just like Minho forcing him onto a bus at six o'clock in the morning to go to the next town over for a couple hours before their schedule to show Jisung a restaurant he liked and buy him breakfast wasn't a date.

He could almost believe it until the others started teasing them.

Seungmin was the worst, predictably. Every chance he got he'd walk up and start teasing them about their 'dates'.

That made Jisung realise what he probably should've noticed to start with. He'd switched realities, and now he was living in some kind of 1800s novel set in England where he was being courted very slowly and secretly by the hot guy with poor family connections that Jisung was forbidden to go near.

Yes, he was very much in love with this scenario. No, he did not stay up until 3a.m. writing that exact story.

Jisung was also fairly certain he had mental problems.

Anyway, the fans were shipping him and Minho together already, so Jisung felt like he was perfectly justified in setting up an AO3 account to share the story he'd never written.

It was just the natural progression of things.

I love Minho. I love Minho's cats.

Jisung was so normal.

One day when they didn't have a schedule until the afternoon, Minho took Jisung to the local animal shelter.

There, Jisung discovered that fluffy dogs did not make his eyes itchy anymore. That was a pretty awesome realisation. 

Somehow he still ended up with the cats, though. He blamed Minho. How could he say no to those shiny eyes when Minho asked to go say hi to the cats?

Jisung had been half-tempted to say no, just so he could watch Minho be awkward with the dogs for a little while longer (he hadn't laughed so hard in his life), but he took pity on him and followed him to the cats.

Fluffy kittens, tiny kittens, chunky tabby cats, crazy orange cats…Jisung could live here. Except for, you know, the allergies (fuck you, allergies). 

Jisung didn't even really think about it too deeply until he wandered off to say hi to a grumpy elderly cat, and Minho literally gasped out loud when he saw him a few minutes later.

"Sungie…" Minho cautiously walked closer and pulled Jisung away from the cat crate. "Your eyes are bright red. Our managers are going to kill us."

Jisung reached up to rub them reflexively, but Minho caught his wrists, tsking quietly. "No, don't do that. That will make it worse."

Which was how Jisung ended up sitting on the sink in the shelter bathroom with Minho standing in between his knees, dabbing cold, damp tissues against his eyes to try and soothe them.

He was so in love with life it was crazy.

His eyes were a lot less red by the time they had to head back to the company building, but they were still red enough that he received a suspicious look from his manager and a pissed glare from his makeup artist.

But whatever. It had been worth it.

The next morning, Jisung woke up early even though he didn't need to, and he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about life.

He had to accept the fact that Minho was dating him now. Maybe he was too shy to say it out loud and clarify it, maybe he didn't want to use labels just yet, and Jisung wasn't going to force him, but he also wasn't going to keep pretending that something wasn't happening.

He couldn't lie to himself forever.

He slipped out of bed and quietly tiptoed to the door, trying not to disturb the other boys as they slept.

Thankfully, the door didn't creak as he opened it, and he was able to dart out without starting drama.

Waking everybody up at five in the morning would not be fun.

He tiptoed to Minho's room and quietly pushed the door open, slipping inside and pausing a few feet inside, trying to remember which bed was Minho's.

Maybe he should've brought a torch.

He stood frozen for a couple minutes, waiting for the gears in his brain to turn and provide him with useful information.

Eventually, he got it, and he crept over to the right hand side of the room.

He pulled up the corner of the covers and slid inside, accidentally kicking Minho before panicking and curling into a ball.

Minho groaned and shifted slightly, his back pressing into Jisung's arm. "Hannie?"

Jisung blinked. "How did you know it was me?"

Minho mumbled something Jisung didn't hear and rolled over, peering at him through the darkness. "Hi. Are you okay?"

"Yes." Jisung nodded.

Minho rubbed his eyes, then yawned. "What time is it?"

"Five."

Minho frowned. "You couldn't sleep?"

Jisung shrugged. "I woke up early and wanted you."

Minho froze for a moment, then smiled. "Okay."

Jisung reached out, searching for Minho's hand, and ending up putting his hand on Minho's ribcage instead. Minho'sbare ribcage.

Come to think of it…had it felt like Minho had been wearing pants when Jisung accidentally kicked him?

Jisung felt his cheeks warm. "Minho…why aren't you wearing any clothes?"

"Why aren't you wearing any clothes?" Minho countered.

Jisung buried his face in his pillow to muffle his giggles. "I was hot!"

"You still are."

Jisung was going to combust.

"Can you shut up," one of the boys complained from the floor.

"Sorry!" Jisung tugged the duvet over his head, trying to hide.

Minho joined him a few seconds later. "I don't think this is soundproof."

"We'll have to be quiet, then," Jisung said.

Minho choked on what might have been a laugh. "That is not the context that sentence is usually used in."

"Is it more for sex?" Jisung asked in a whisper. "I read a book once, and it was really…umm…not nice. But! It kind of explained a few things."

"Gay sex?"

"Straight sex. Totally unhelpful, but whatever. Guess I'll just be traumatised for no reason."

Minho laughed.

Jisung kicked him, trying to muffle his own laughs with his hands. "Shut up! I don't want to be kicked out."

"Oh, don't worry Sungie, I'll protect you." Minho crooned in between laughs. "Fuck, you're killing me."

Jisung kicked him again.

"Ow!"

Someone hit Jisung over the head with a pillow. "SHUT UP!"

"OW!" Jisung grabbed Minho's pillow and evacuated the duvet to slam it into the person's face. "Go away." He dropped back down and hid under the duvet.

Minho sighed.

The person grumbled, but disappeared.

"Poor Jinnie," Minho muttered.

Jisung scowled. Of course it was Hyunjin. Demon. Blegh.

Jisung wriggled closer to Minho, curling up against his chest. "Is this okay?"

"Of course it's okay, Sungie." Minho's arms wrapped around him, and their legs tangled together. "Try and go back to sleep, you need proper rest."

Jisung bit Minho's arm.

Minho slapped Jisung's ass in retaliation. "The fuck was that for?"

"I don't know." Jisung shrugged. "Old habits die hard."

"You're so strange." Minho snickered.

"You love it," Jisung said confidently, closing his eyes and burying his face in Minho's neck.

Minho didn't respond for a long time, and Jisung was almost back to sleep when he heard the tiny, "I do" fall from Minho's lips.

He wanted to say something, anything. He wanted to ask if Minho was crazy, or whether he was being serious.

He wanted to grab Minho's face and kiss him.

Unfortunately, he was too close to sleep to do any of those things.

He made a note to ask about in the morning, then let himself slip back into the familiar darkness.

*****

Jisung did not remember to ask about it in the morning.

He also didn't remember to have breakfast and almost passed out during practice, which meant he got to unlock a brand new Minho: Nurse-Ho? Min-Nurse? Murse? Something. He unlocked something.

Jisung wanted to say it was all Chan's fault (it wasn't Chan's fault), but Seungmin prevented him from doing so by shoving a sandwich in his face.

Thanks, Seungmin. Jisung would've said the words out loud, but he had too much sandwich.

He hadn't even felt dizzy during practice really (he kinda had), he'd just figured he needed a drink of water during break, and he'd be fine (you're an idiot, Jisung). Anyway, they'd been halfway through their final run through when Jisung's vision had started flickering, and they were approximately thirty seconds from the end when his knees buckled and his vision dipped momentarily into full blackness.

He wasn't sure who caught him. He had a feeling it had been Hyunjin (demon, grr).

As thanks, he'd ignore Hyunjin later instead of executing the amazing prank he'd thought up. He was such a kind and gentle soul.

"We're pretty much finished here, anyway," Chan said. "Why don't you just take him home? I need to work with the others for a little while on songs, but I've got all Jisung's bits."

"Okay." Minho picked Jisung up by the armpits like he was a kid and set him on his feet.

The world spun.

"Woah," Jisung mumbled and leaned into Minho.

"Is he going to be okay?" I.N asked worriedly, tugging at Felix's sleeve.

Felix looked at him blankly. "Huh?"

I.N looked up at him, then sighed and turned to Seungmin. "Is he going to be okay?"

Seungmin nodded. "He'll be fine. He just needs to eat."

Felix frowned and caught Hyunjin's attention. "What are they saying?"

Hyunjin looked blankly at him. "Huh?"

Chan sighed, long and hard. "I did not sign up for this."

"I don't understand." Felix said miserably.

"I know." Chan patted his shoulder. "It's okay. Minho's going to take Jisung home, and we're going to go do some recordings."

"But he's going to be okay, right?" Felix asked.

"Yeah, he's going to be fine, Lixie. I promise." Chan wrapped Felix in a tight, two second hug, then stepped back and clapped his hands, making Hyunjin jump. "Let's go. We have a tight schedule."

"We always have tight schedules." Changbin grumbled. "I'd like to be able to not rush something just once."

"Save that for when we're rich and famous," Seungmin said.

Hyunjin laughed.

Minho put and arm over Jisung's shoulder and held him close to his side as they left the practice studio. "Are you still feeling dizzy, Sungie?"

"Yeah." Jisung closed his eyes, then tripped over his shoelaces and would've face-planted the floor if Minho hadn't caught him.

"Yippee." Minho muttered. "Alright, get on my back."

Jisung didn't question him, he just crawled on top of him when Minho crouched down.

He squeaked when Minho straightened and he slipped towards the ground, but Minho caught him and hoisted him back up. "Okay?"

Jisung nodded and rested his head on Minho's shoulder, letting his eyes fall closed again.

"Good." Minho started walking.

Jisung had a feeling that he fell asleep, because one moment he was closing his eyes in the JYP corridor, and the next he was being gently dropped onto the couch in their dorm.

"Stay there, I'll make food." Minho ruffled his hair, then walked to the kitchen.

Jisung buried himself in blankets and reached for the TV remote. He flicked through the channels until he landed on an animal documentary.

Minho came back with food a little while later and sat next to Jisung on the couch while he ate, frowning at the TV as it described different types of bear. "You actually watch this stuff for fun?"

Jisung nodded. "Yeah."

The screen switched to a cheetah chasing after a zebra, and Minho's brow smoothed out. "That's cool."

"Uh-huh. I love cheetahs." Jisung grinned. "Did you know they can go from zero to forty-five miles an hour in just two and a half seconds?"

"Now I do," Minho said.

"It's cool." Jisung nodded. "Cheetah's are cool."

*****

Just a couple weeks later, they were given another break, and this time, Minho packed to leave with the boys the night before their break officially started.

Jisung tried not to be bothered by it.

Minho hadn't asked him to come this time, and Jisung didn't want to impose, but they hadn't really been separated for almost a year now, and he didn't want to be alone in the dorm. Especially not when he knew Chan and Felix had already made plans because they expected everybody else to be doing their own things.

Maybe Jisung could work on some songs…

They all ate dinner together, laughing and joking and acting like total weirdos, but it was fun. Jisung loved it. He loved them.

He was exhausted by the time he got to bed, barely awake enough to remember to turn off his alarm before he went floppy and fell asleep.

He woke up to Minho shaking him. "Jisung? Jisungie? What are you doing?"

Jisung grumbled and batted blearily at his hands. "'m sleeping! Go 'way!"

"Oh." Minho stopped shaking him. "Okay." Soft steps padded across the floor, and the door creaked as it closed.

Jisung settled back down, happily sinking back towards sleep.

Why was Minho bothering him, anyway? Wasn't he supposed to have left already? He'd said yesterday that he was leaving at seven-thirty.

Jisung cracked his eyes open and fumbled for his phone.

7:30a.m.

Jisung blinked, then sat bolt upright.

Wait…had Minho been coming to get him? Had he thought Jisung was going to go with him, and Jisung had just been…asleep? He hadn't even packed a bag.

Oh, fuck. 

He hadn't known. Minho hadn't asked so he thought…

Dammit.

He jumped out of bed and flicked on the light, checking the others were already gone before yelling, "MINHO!"

Minho appeared a few seconds later, eyes wide and startled. "What? What happened?"

Jisung walked forward and shoved Minho's chest, glaring up at him. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you wanted me to come with you when you were packing yesterday?"

Minho looked confused. "You always come."

"No, Min, you always take me. You give me a warning. I had no warning this time!" Jisung waved his arms, agitated. "I didn't know!"

Minho blinked at him, and then his expression softened, his lips curling upwards at the corners. "Go pack, Sungie. I'll wait."

Jisung saluted, then ran back to his room to grab his stuff.

He returned fifteen minutes later, still glaring at Minho. "Tell me next time."

"I will," Minho said. "I promise."

******

Minho's parents had gone out for the evening, the cats were sleeping in the living room, and Jisung must have been developing some kind of cat tolerance, because he swore his allergies weren't as bad as they usually were.

Jisung was sitting crossed-legged on Minho's bed, watching as Minho hunted around his room for something. "What are you looking for?"

Minho straightened with a small bag in his hands, and a wide grin on his face. "This." He reached into the bag and pulled out a small tube, which he set on the duvet, then a little square of foil.

Jisung picked up the tube curiously and read the word printed on the front. "Lubricant. Lubricant?"

"It's for my dick," Minho explained.

Jisung paused, then slowly put the tub back down. "Okay. Umm. Nice." He gave Minho a thumbs up.

Minho snorted. "It's to make it easier for me to shove my dick up your ass, Sungie."

Jisung's mouth popped open. "Oh?"

Minho sat down on his knees opposite Jisung, expression open, patient and so gentle Jisung almost wanted to start crying. "If you still want this, I figured we could try tonight. My friends are getting sick of answering my questions and I think I know what I'm doing now. My parents aren't here…"

Jisung couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. "You asked your friends how to perform gay sex?"

Minho's ears turned pink. "Maybe. Who else was I going to ask, though?"

Jisung shook his head, grinning widely. "I fucking adore you, Minho."

Minho's eyes lit up with a thousand little stars. "That's a bad word."

"Shut up." Jisung leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Minho's lips.

Minho grabbed him when he tried to pull away and shoved him down onto his back, climbing on top of him and slotting their lips together.

Jisung sighed into the kiss, feelings sparks travel over every patch of skin that Minho came into contact with, and Minho shoved his tongue in between the gap in Jisung's lips.

The first brush of that wet heat set him shuddering. The second brush had heat pooling in his stomach. The third brush had him wriggling.

Minho smiled again him and pulled back slightly, kissing his way down Jisung's jaw, then biting down on the spot just behind Jisung's ear.

Jisung arched instinctively at the flare of pain before Minho soothed it, his cock twitching in his pants.

"Won't that leave a mark?" He breathed, vision fuzzy as he looked up at Minho.

Minho shrugged. "It'll be gone before we go back to work." He ducked his head, running his tongue down the muscle in Jisung's neck, and Jisung whined, immediately losing his train of thought.

His hands slid up and into Minho's hair, tugging him closer. "Min…"

Minho hummed, then pushed his hip forward, brushing his cock against Jisung's through their jeans and causing the most delicious heat to burn in Jisung's core.

His hands shook as he dragged them down to rest on Minho's back. 

This is really happening. Anticipation curled in his stomach but…fear followed.

Was this going to hurt? He assumed it was going to hurt. His body wasn't exactly built with getting dicked down in mind.

And this—this was Minho. What if this ruined everything? What if they became something completely different after this? What if everything changed? What if they ruined their careers? What they ruined their members careers?

Minho lifted his head just enough to nuzzle his nose against Jisung's cheek. "Breathe, Jagi. It's okay. We're okay. I want this, I'm not going to regret it, I'm not going to regret you. We'll do whatever you want tonight, we'll stop whenever you say. This is just to make us happy, it's not for anything else. The second one of us isn't happy, we'll stop. 

"You'll stop it, too, if it's not good?" Jisung asked tentaively.

Minho nodded without a second's hesitation.

Jisung blew out a long breath and nodded. "Okay."

Minho pressed a gentle kiss to Jisung's cheek, then sat up, his knees bracketing Jisung's hips, but they didn't take all of his weight. Minho allowed just a little to rest on Jisung's hips, not enough to hurt, but enough to feel solid and warm and real.

He tugged his shirt over his head, revealing miles of smooth skin that Jisung knew would feel soft…so soft…

He chewed his lip, not wanting to touch until Minho told him it was okay.

His eyes swept over him, noting the little indents of his ribs, the faded scar over his belly, and the little blue veins that ran up his neck.

"You can touch me, Sungie." Minho whispered.

Jisung didn't need to be told twice.

He lifted his hands, setting them on Minho's stomach first, not quite confident to go for his chest yet, where he would inevitably come into contact with nipples. What was he supposed to do with nipples? They were supposed to be sensitive, right? Maybe Minho would show him later.

Minho's stomach was soft under Jisung's fingers, smooth. Even the old scar felt smooth.

Jisung squished.

Minho frowned down at him.

Jisung looked up at him innocently, but he had a feeling his pink ears were giving him away. "What?"

Minho just shook his head, lips curling upwards at the corners. "Nothing. You're just cute."

Jisung squished Minho's stomach again, and Minho twisted, pushing his hands away with a harsh laugh. "Stop!"

Jisung giggled. "Sorry! It feels nice."

Minho stuck his tongue out at him, then reached up and pinched Jisung's cheeks in between his fingers, tugging at them slightly.

Jisung squeaked, holding still as Minho messed with him. "That's rude."

Minho laughed. "You're rude." He booped Jisung on the nose. 

Jisung stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry.

Minho's hands rested on Jisung's chest, right over his heart. "Can I take your shirt off?"

Jisung nodded and sat up slightly, helping him tug it up and over his head. 

When he lay back down, Minho's lips were slightly parted, and his pupils were dilated. "Oh…fuck. You're so tiny."

Jisung blushed.

Minho just stared down at him, not blinking, and his tongue slowly started to peak out between his lips. It reminded Jisung a little of Hyunjin (ew, demon), but it was kinda cute, too.

"You know," Jisung started for no reason. "When I'm older and we get like, super famous—"

"Hopefully."

Jisung rolled his eyes. "We'll be famous. Trust me. You've got a genius like me in the group."

Minho blinked, then laughed so hard his head tipped back and his eyes closed.

It was really fucking adorable. Jisung was going to need to make him laugh like that more often.

Minho eventually calmed, but that massive grin was still stuck on his face, revealing his slightly uneven front teeth that made Jisung want to die. "Sorry." Minho coughed, then made a little 'hm' sound. "You were saying something."

Jisung giggled. "Yeah. I was gonna say, once we're famous, and I can't be fired, I want to, like, get a tattoo. Right—" he drew a hand across the top right hand side of his chest "—here."

Minho blinked. Then squeaked. Then dropped down and buried his face in Jisung's neck.

Jisung laughed. "Oh my God." He patted Minho's back, then felt something warm and solid press against his stomach. "Minho!"

"Oops."

Jisung felt a wet brush against his neck that felt suspiciously like a tongue, and it tickled, so he squirmed, which meant he brushed against Minho's now very hard dick, which made his own dick swell, and then he moaned. Because he was a virginal idiot with no control.

Minho sighed. "Fuck. You have no idea what you do to me."

"I didn't know tattoos were so hot," Jisung admitted.

Minho snorted. "And I didn't know the sky was blue. There's no way in hell you would've brought it up if you didn't know."

Jisung just shrugged.

Minho kissed Jisung's neck, then sat back up, eyes half-closed and slightly glazed as he ran his hands over Jisung's chest. "You'd look really pretty."

Jisung smiled.

Minho leaned back down and slotted their lips together, tongues brushing as his hands trailed down to the button on Jisung's jeans. "Can I take these off?"

"Yeah." Jisung breathed. The tight material was starting to rub painfully on his dick, anyway.

Minho undid the button, and tapped Jisung's hips to get him to lift so he could work them down to his ankles, and then off, tossing them to the side. "Can I take mine—"

"I want to be naked with you, Minho, you don't need to keep asking." Jisung tugged at Minho's hair, bringing him back to his mouth and sliding his tongue between Minho's lips.

Was he doing it right? Probably not. His tongue felt like a floppy fish. But it was the effort that counted, right?

Minho groaned and pressed closer, and Jisung's entire body flushed with heat.

Minho shifted his weight, almost falling onto Jisung, and Jisung caught him on instinct, laughing. "What are you doing?"

Minho grinned and started wriggling his hips.

Jisung laughed so hard his ribs ached. "What the fuck? Minho!"

"Egh—eh—uff—bada!" He rested his weight back on his elbows, grinning proudly, and dropped his hip, making his cock - his now bare cock - brush against Jisung's underpants.

Jisung's broken brain could only sputter out one thing: "it's tada in English. Not bada."

Minho huffed. "It sounds the same."

"It's a whole different letter!"

"Lies." Minho, being the devious little bunny he was, distracted Jisung with a kiss, then started exploring.

Soft fingers brushed over Jisung's neck, his shoulders, his ribs, and then crawled back up to play with his nipples.

Jisung gasped, his back arching. "Nngh. Fuck. What the fuck?"

Minho chuckled, then pinched Jisung's nipple between his thumb and forefinger, and twisted it slightly.

Jisung whimpered as an almost painful heat shot through his chest.

Minho's hands slid lower, brushing the tight skin of his stomach and following the V to the band of his underwear.

He paused, glancing up at Jisung, who nodded. "Please."

Minho looked back down, and slowly started to work Jisung's underwear down his thighs.

Jisung's cock bounced upwards slightly when it was released, resting briefly against his stomach before dipping down again.

Minho crawled back up and settled above him. "Okay?"

"Yes." Jisung peeked down.

Minho's cock was pressed against his belly, hard and red and thick. Really thick.

Jisung felt his eyes widen, and he dragged his gaze back up to Minho's. "It feels scary now."

Minho rested his forehead on Jisung's. "We can stop whenever you want. I'll go slow."

"Will it hurt?" Jisung asked, worrying at his lower.

Minho brushed his thumb over his lip, gently pushing his teeth away and soothing the red skin. "A little."

Jisung swallowed. "O-okay."

Minho kissed the tip of his nose. "I've got you, okay?"

"I know. I trust you." Jisung slid his hands into Minho's hair. "I trust you."

Minho smiled and pressed another kiss to the corner of Jisung's mouth, then he reached his arm out and came back with the little tube he'd found earlier. 

Jisung tensed.

"Shhh, it's okay." Minho kissed his lips, then his his jaw, then he worked his way down his neck to the hollow of Jisung's shoulder. "I've got you."

Minho sat back and looked down, and Jisung suddenly felt very very naked.

His cock was only really half-hard now, and he didn't know how he was going to get past the nerves and adrenaline flooding his body to let it get to full mast again.

Minho hummed thoughtfully, then fisted Jisung's dick, and Jisung squeaked.

Okay, that works…

Jisung dropped an arm over his face. "Fuck."

He'd jerked off multiple times in his life - obviously, because he wasn't sad or emo (okay maybe he was slightly emo but that wasn't the point) - but he hadn't known it would feel so different when it was someone else. The tingles and heat that shot up his spine and flooded his bloodstream had him gasping in seconds. Literal seconds. It was so crazy.

Minho's hand was warm. Soft. He wasn't holding Jisung's cock hard, but he wasn't exactly holding it loose, either. 

When Jisung risked a look down he almost goddamn ejaculated right in Minho's face for no reason other than his small ass fingers couldn't even reach the whole way around Jisung's cock.

He was going crazy. He felt like he was going crazy. His cock wasn't even that big.

Jisung wriggled restlessly, trying to get friction on his aching dick, but Minho put his other hand down on Jisung's hip, pressing him into the bed. "Stay still, Sungie."

Jisung grumbled.

Minho rubbed his thumb gently over Jisung's hip bone. "Still doing okay?"

"Yes." Jisung nodded.

"Good." Minho took his hands away from Jisung, and Jisung immediately mourned the loss of their warmth. 

Minho picked up the tube and coated his fingers in the jelly-like liquid. Then he put one hand back over Jisung's hips, and lowered the other to his ass, gently sliding down until Jisung felt the cool gel press against his hole.

Jisung yelped, his body locking up at the strange zinging sensations that fired from where Minho's fingers hovered, the cold of the gel clashing with the warmth of the hand on his hip until he felt dizzy.

Minho paused, looking up to watch Jisung's face.

Jisung shuddered, his eyes closing, and he felt his body sink back into the bed.

Minho must have taken that as the sign that it was okay to rub his fingers over his hole again. "Okay?"

"Y-yeah." Jisung mumbled, his hips pressing up into Minho's hand as he circled those damn fingers again. "P-please…" 

He didn't even know what he was asking for, not really. He just knew he needed more, knew the ache in his cock and the heat in his body was starting to become uncomfortable.

Suddenly the tiny zaps of electricity that sparked when Minho touched him felt like cool heaven, calming both his nerves and his overheated body temperature.

"Ready?" Minho asked softly.

Jisung nodded without thinking. "Y-yeah."

Minho bit his lip, then pushed his finger in, just to the first knuckle.

Electricity tingled in Jisung's core and his back arched slightly, a soft moan spilling from his lips. 

It felt strange, and it stung slightly, but it also felt so good.

Minho slowly slid it back out, and Jisung whimpered and twitched at the sharp shocks of pleasure that ricocheted through his body.

God, if this was him after not even one finger, how the fuck was he supposed to take Minho's cock?

His body started to tense up again as he thought about it, anxiety overpowering the pleasure, because what if he couldn't do it? What if it was too much? What if he came before they even got to that part?

"Sungie…" Minho leaned down and licked into Jisung's mouth for a moment before pulling back. "Relax. It's okay. You need to relax."

Jisung sighed and focused on releasing the tension in his muscles.

"Thank you." Minho kissed the corner of his lips, then pushed his finger back in.

Jisung clenched down on it with a loud whimper, and Minho hissed as his finger was sucked deeper.

Oops. Now it was stinging even more.

Jisung supposed it didn't matter, though, because he felt so floaty and warm…and all that electric pleasure was spinning happy coils in stomach, making his skin all tingly.

Minho slid his finger in and out slowly, so slowly it hurt.

Jisung whined, trying to press his hips down. "Minho!"

Minho looked up at him, blinking innocently. "Is something wrong?"

Jisung scrabbled around until he got a fistful of Minho's hair and tugged. "Too slow," he panted.

"Oh?" Minho blinked a few more times. "Oh. Okay." He shifted his weight slightly, then slowly slid his finger out, just to shove it roughly back in.

Jisung jolted, a moan tumbling from his lips as fire spread through his stomach.

Minho smirked. "You're so tight. Fuck, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. It doesn't feel real." He pulled his finger out and slammed it back in, his palm bouncing off Jisung's ass.

Jisung groaned, reaching down blindly and grabbing the first dick he could find, which turned out to be Minho's, and Minho groaned loudly as Jisung's fingers wrapped around his tip.

Jisung licked his lips, then tentatively brushed his thumb over the head.

Minho's hips jerked, a small noise spilling from his lips, and Jisung grinned. "Wow."

Minho scowled at him. "Wow?"

"Wow." Jisung agreed.

Minho opened his mouth, but Jisung brushed his thumb over the head again and Minho broke off with a small moan.

Minho started pumping the finger inside Jisung faster, loosening him up, and Jisung went floppy, his hand falling onto the bed as pleasure swept over him, making his head go fuzzy.

"There." Minho murmured a few seconds later, and Jisung was about to ask what happened next when Minho pulled his fingers out, dumped more lube on them, and then pressed them back into his hole, except this time, two were pushed inside.

Jisung whimpered, then moaned at the stretch.

He squirmed at the uncomfortable burn, and Minho shushed him gently, kissing his cheek and holding him still.

Jisung was panting now, his heart racing against his ribs as Minho slowly worked him open with two fingers.

He was so sensitive. Was it normal to be this sensitive? He felt like he was going to combust.

Sparks danced up his spin and along the skin of his arms, raising goosebumps, and his vision was slightly blurry as he stared up at Minho.

Minho slowly twisted his fingers inside Jisung, and Jisung whimpered, sharp stabs of heat hitting his core in a way that made his dick throb.

Minho slid his fingers out, and then pressed back against Jisung's hole with three fingers.

That was it. It was too much. Jisung was too sensitive.

He threw his head back, eyes squeezed shut, as heat pooled fast and hard in his core, and suddenly he felt like he was going to pee.

Oh my God was he going to pee on Minho's bed? That would be so embarassing.

He clamped down on his lower lip and tensed as many muscles he could find in his abdomen as possible, not wanting to release the tension for fear of losing control of his bladder.

Minho's fingers paused. "Jisung?"

Maybe if Jisung took a deeper breath and stopped panting, his heart would stop pounding, and his head would clear enough for him to think about how to get out of this situation without it being awkward.

He focused on his breathing, trying to take deeper breaths, but then he lost control of some of the muscles in his core and he squeaked as he felt a rush in his dick before clamping back down.

Minho's fingers slid out of Jisung's ass, and he crawled back up, pressing kisses to Jisung's face. "Jisungie, it's okay, I'm here. Tell me what's wrong."

Jisung swallowed nervously and cracked his eyes open, blinking until he could focus on Minho, who was only a few inches away from his face. "Umm…"

Gentle fingers tangled in Jisung's hair. "Talk to me, Jagi."

Jagi? That just about melted Jisung's heart.

He took a deep breath and avoided Minho's gaze. "I—I, um, I kind of—maybe—slightly—need to pee."

Minho's went still, and when Jisung looked back at him, his head was tilted slightly to the side, his brow furrowed. "You need to pee?"

"I think so." Jisung nodded, feeling his cheeks heat.

Minho looked down at his lube-covered hand, then further down to where they were lying dick-to-dick on the bed. "Is that why you tensed? Because you were trying not to pee?"

Jisung covered his face with his hands, but nodded.

"Huh." Minho pressed one finger to the edge of Jisung's hole and his hole body jerked, legs trembling, arms shaking, small moan spilling from between his lips. "Huh."

"I'm sorry," Jisung whispered.

Minho shook his head and sat back on his knees. "Don't apologise. You haven't done anything wrong." He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, then spoke again, "see, the thing is, I can't give you my cock yet. Not when you've never had sex before. I'd rip you to shreds. Which means, if you still want this, you're going to have to take my fingers back."

"I don't want to stop." Jisung mumbled.

"Then…" Minho circled Jisung's hole with two fingers, just to watch him squirm and hear him whine. "Then let's try again. This time, I don't want you to hold yourself back. If your body wants to do something, let it do it. It's very easy for me to change the sheets later."

Jisung frowned and pulled his hands down to look at Minho. "Are you giving me permission to wet the bed?"

Minho shrugged. "I'm fairly certain you're not actually going to pee, but yes."

Jisung stared at him. "You're so weird."

Minho smiled. "Sungie, you know what it means to cum, right? Even if you've only ever consumed straight media, it's the same concept."

Jisung nodded slowly. "It's the release part of everything."

Minho nodded. "Exactly. Maybe that's what your body is trying to do, it just feels like you're going to pee yourself because you've never felt it before."

Jisung tried to process that and failed, his brain was too groggy.

Minho held up his hand. "Can I try again?"

Jisung nodded. "Yes."

Minho kiss the top of his thigh, then slowly circled Jisung's hole before carefully easing three fingers inside.

Jisung arched, gasping, and he felt like his entire body was on fire. "Fuck—Fuck—Min—"

Minho hummed and pulled his finger out for a moment, just long enough to let the cold air in, and the he shoved them back inside, curling them slightly and hitting a sensitive spot Jisung hadn't known he had.

He moaned, low and deep, and heat rushed south so fast he felt like his dick was going to explode.

"Relax," Mino urged. "Just relax, Hannie. Let it happen. It's okay."

Jisung trembled, his eyes falling closed.

Minho kept pumping his fingers in and out, curling them upwards every few strokes to brush that sensitive spot and make Jisung feel such a strong rush of heat that he felt like he was being boiled from the inside out.

And then it happened again. The feeling coiled tight at the base of his cock and he felt like he was going to pee.

He started to tense instinctively, but Minhos hand came to rest on his stomach, rubbing gently, and suddenly Jisung's body was fighting itself, trying to decide how to react.

"Relax." Minho whispered. "It's okay."

Was it? Was it really okay? Jisung wasn't sure. It really did feel like he was about to piss himself on Minho's bedsheets.

His breathing was too shallow, his heart was too fast, and the heat was burning so hot he felt like he as going to pass out.

"Let go," Minho urged. "Come on, Jisungie. You can do it. Just let go." He curled his fingers again, jabbing upwards harder than he had before, hitting that spot with so much force Jisung cried out.

He shuddered, his back arching until most of his weight was resting on his neck, and his muscles were trembling, straining to hold on to the tension even though they wanted nothing more than to relax.

"Let go." Minho's nose brushed over Jisung's cheek. "I can't give you my cock if you don't let go."

"Why not?" Jisung panted. "Just pull out."

Minho shook his head. "I want to know you're okay first. This can't feel nice, and I don't want you feeling bad while we're together."

Jisung whined, scrabbling at Minho's shoulder. "I can't—"

"You can, it's easy, just let go." Minho reached down and grabbed Jisung's dick, squeezing it at the base as he slammed his fingers back inside, and Jisung lost it, the two sensations overwhelming him with pleasure and heat until he couldn't breathe around it.

His body relaxed on its own, and he was too out of it to even notice.

Dark spots flashed in front of his eyes, and it felt like he was floating on a cloud for a few long moment before he started to sink back into himself.

Minho was smiling down at him, one hand on his cheek, gently brushing over his skin. "There you are."

Jisung was breathing hard, still feeling hot and restless. "Oh my God."

Minho laughed. "Yeah, that about sums it up."

Jisung rubbed at his eyes, hoping that would get them to focus. It didn't.

Minho kissed Jisung's forehead. "Are you done? We can stop here and leave my dick for next time."

"No!" Jisung grabbed onto Minho's arms. "Don't stop! Please don't stop."

"You're going to be even more sensitive now," Minho murmured. 

"I don't care." Jisung pressed his hips up, and Minho hissed as their cocks brushed.

Sure, Jisung's dick wasn't hard anymore, but he didn't really need his dick to be active for this, did he? 

Minho closed his eyes briefly, holding himself frozen and tense above Jisung. "Will you tell me to stop if it's too much?"

"Yes," Jisung promised.

Minho sighed, chewing at his lip. "Fuck. Okay. Let's do this."

Jisung let out a tiny 'whoop', and Minho rolled his eyes.

He reached over for the foil packet and tore it open, tugging out a condom and rolling it onto his cock.

Jisung watched him, fascinated.

He hadn't know condoms came in foil. Maybe it kept them fresh.

"Jisung?" Minho asked. "Are you with me?"

Jisung focused. "Yes. I'm here."

Minho shifted, positioning himself, and his head pressed against Jisung's ass just a few seconds later.

Jisung gasped, immediately grabbing onto Minho's arms, trying to steady himself.

Why does it feel so big? It hadn't looked that big. Maybe he just had a really tiny ass.

Minho nudged him tentatively, and sparks of please explode inside Jisung, so sharp they felt like they were cutting his insides with glass.

Fuck. He whimpered.

Was he even going to be able to walk tomorrow after this?

"Ready?" Minho asked.

Jisung took a deep breath, then nodded. "I'm ready."

Minho hesitated, then braced himself, and slowly started to push in.

Jisung cried out, his back arching until his chest met Minho's. "Fuck!"

It felt like he was being split in two, every slight push from Minho sending ripples of pleasure through his body so strong they made him shake, and that was quickly followed by a sharp sting, that echoed and reverberated sharper and sharper the deeper Minho went.

Jisung's breathing got harsher, his skin growing damp with sweat as he shook, trying to fight the painful sting that was spreading through his body.

Was this how he died? Impaled on Minho's cock?

"Almost there, Jagi, just a little bit more." Minho gritted his teeth, working Jisung so slowly and gently until he was fully seated, balls pressed against Jisung's ass cheeks.

Jisung whimpered, his body twitching every few seconds when a new round of stinging hit.

Minho dropped kisses on every part of his face he could reach, murmuring gentle words Jisung couldn't hear in between each peck.

Eventually, the stinging started to fade, and the pleasure came rushing back, almost drowning him.

Minho must have sensed the change somehow, because he finally started to move, his body shaking just like Jisung's was as he pulled out and slowly pushed back in.

Was he losing control, too? Was his dick throbbing with a heat he couldn't satisfy because he was having to go so painfully slow for Jisung's body?

Minho kept working him, his body shaking more and more, his breathing becoming more laboured, and his chest glistening with sweat.

Jisung would've been worried if he wasn't in the exact same state beneath him.

"Jisung…" Minho gasped, his eyes fluttering closed. "I—I can't—I think I'm going to—I—" He groaned, the sound so deep and raw it must have hurt his throat.

It made Jisung clench around him, which seemed to just make everything worse for Minho, who suddenly whimpered, his arms almost giving out beneath him. 

"Fuck," he breathed. "Sungie, I'm sorry. I think I—I think I'm going to cum."

Jisung looked down at the white streaks already painting his and Minho's chests. He remembered what it felt like right before he found release, and he wasn't feeling that now, even though the shocks of pleasure were dancing up his spine and heat was curling deliciously in his gut.

It all felt…calm.

Then Minho pulled out almost the entire way, and slammed back into Jisung so hard Jisung yelped, caught completely off guard.

He felt Minho's balls slap against his ass, and he moaned as pleasure tightened in his stomach.

Minho repeated the movement, this time angling his dick upwards slightly so that when he pushed back in, his hit the same spot he'd hit with his fingers, and Jisung's oversensitive body flared, the pleasure so intense it almost hurt.

Tears burned at the backs of his eyes as Minho panted above him, sweat dripping onto Jisung's chest.

"You can let go," Jisung told him. "I don't—I don't need to cum again."

Minho whimpered, the sound small and pitiful, and he rutted into Jisung shallowly a few more times before he let out a high, keening sound and his body went taught as he froze inside Jisung, and then he went completely limp.

Jisung kind of managed to catch him, but he still landed pretty awkwardly on Jisung's chest. Hopefully he hadn't hurt himself.

Jisung hugged him close, wriggling slightly just to wring those extra sparks of pleasure from Minho's quickly deflating cock.

Minho groaned a few moments later and turned his head, squinting up at Jisung. "Hi."

Jisung smiled. "Hi."

"Are you okay?" Minho asked, his voice thick.

Jisung nodded. "Yes. Yeah. I'm good. I'm really good. That was…awesome. Really awesome. Thank you."

"Anytime," Minho mumbled, then yawned, stretching his arms out in front of him like a cat. "We should clean up."

"Okay." Jisung agreed, but neither of them moved.

Minho sighed, then pushed himself back up, carefully easing out of Jisung. "Stay here."

Jisung nodded, his body too boneless for him to bother trying to move, anyway.

Minho returned with a damp cloth a few minutes later and carefully wiped down Jisung's chest and ass before tossing the cloth to the other side of the room and lay down beside Jisung. "Are you sure you're okay? I'm sorry I couldn't make you cum on my cock like you did on my fingers."

"It's okay. I think if I'd managed to cum a second time, I would've met Jesus." Jisung chuckled at his own joke, then shuffled over and curled up against Minho. "I love it. It was perfect. Thank you."

Minho shrugged. 

Jisung sighed happily and got comfortable, his head resting in the hollow of Minho's shoulder. "I love you."

Minho froze for a too long moment, then relaxed with a wide, warm smile. "I love you, too, Sungie. I love you too."