Chapter Text
Prologue
From anyone else's perspective, the scenery was peaceful, yet for him it just felt like a grey fog was forbidding him to witness its beauty. The cold wind was caressing his face, morning dew as fresh as the fish swimming below him. Their restlessness in the sunlit wave caught his attention from where he was seated on the stone pier. Gulls and petrels were eyeing their prey, diving one after the other, joining around a mechanical hunting practice. The seawater rolled in a slow rhythm, the sky became clearer as time passed and the sun climbed higher in the sky. Everything was alive, except for him.
As a child, Chu Wanning used to like strolling on the rocky side of the shore and stopping by the stone pier, where he would enjoy the view of the horizon and the sweet sound of the waves crashing against the stone. Every time he and his family would sleep in the guest quarters after a royal banquet, the heir of the Ducal house of Boccale would wake up early to gaze upon the ocean he couldn’t see from his room. He would sneak out on tiptoes and bribe a few servants with his angelic grin to run to the inhabited West Wing, and from there go onto the balcony where he would simply sit still. As he grew older, he would go as far as to venture to the pier, trying in vain to find a sea creature who would take him away.
Alas, although he had heard countless legends and children stories about the famous Merfolks of Miramare, he had never witnessed any : let alone putting in motion his plan of getting himself kidnapped. However looking back on it, what his habit brought him over the years was that thanks to this very dream of escaping from the harsh truth of his reality, the life he had wished for had finally come to realize. He now lived in this castle, his favorite place on Earth, he could take a stroll at any time and leisurely drink tea while gazing at the sea. Whereas with Boccale, he was only allowed the annex farther into the forest, or the heir quarters with a training so strict he wasn’t allowed to go out, whenever he wished.
He was married to the man he had life-long feelings for, the spouse of the very Alpha he longed for and admired in secret all these years. He knew the sound of his children’s laughter and the warmth of their cheeks, an heir and a princess that made him proud. He had accomplished great deeds as the previous heir to his family, hence he was loved by his subordinates and cared for by his attendants. He had proven himself a dutiful and just ruler, despite never being officially recognized as one.
Chu Wanning was alive in more ways now than he had ever been, and yet.
He came to the sea, he came to escape, he was still looking for a way out of this perfect cage. He was fervently hoping for a merman to come. He was desperate enough to plunge into the freezing cold salted liquid. Let his lungs be overwhelmed by the lack of oxygen, have his bone rendered useless under the pressure of the fearful mass reaching to the horizons. His escape was to be drowned by a mythical creature that would bring him to their world never to reach the wretched surface, ever again.
But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t be able to, his personnel guard wouldn’t allow it. Needless to glance over his shoulder, as devoted as always, he was on stand by a few steps behind him, ready to protect him from any incident or harm : even from himself. He would never be found lacking in his duty, and he would give his life to protect him.
The Omega snickered at the thought that maybe, his death would be a much better outcome for his husband, than whatever situation they were entwined in right now. It was doomed from the moment the life long promise was broken. He had been a replacement, and an unwanted one. He was the second plan, the first failed regardless of his involvement, but he was what concretized its failure. He was the result, and he had to bear the consequence of not having done anything wrong, yet being the reason why the plan had failed.
Chu Wanning had only loved one man, one Alpha. His husband too had only loved one man, one Alpha. It wasn’t him, it could never be him. Not then, nor now after spending years together, not after proving himself a resourceful and bright spouse, not even after giving him to his children, not even after loving him unconditionally without complaint. He and his husband weren’t blessed with happiness, only misfortune and sorrow, plaguing their days and tormenting their nights.
He was not meant to be the one receiving love, instead he was just like this rock : lost between the seawater and the sand ashore. Stuck in a rolling motion only to go back to the sand desperately after trying his best to explore the immense body of water licking at his edge. Both of them were doomed to a lifetime of anger, sadness, and longing. For different people, forever.