Chapter Text
The mosquitoes buzzed in the courtyard. Even a being as all powerful as the emperor was not immune to the humid heat of China’s summer and the insects that the season brought with it. The Capital felt quieter under the pressure as if the summer air stifled any forms of high activity.
Xie Zheng paused after stepping out of the carriage in the neighbor’s courtyard, a place as familiar to him as his own home. Even under the oppressive heat of high noon, he had expected to hear the rambunctious noises of its young mistress.
Although he had been away for almost 5 years, he felt as if everyone here would look just as they did before he left for Jinzhou with his father and Wei Qilin. He expected Changyu to reach no higher than his hip and Changning to fit squarely in the size of his palm.
The steward, seeing him at the door, jumped in surprise.
“Master Xie! Welcome in! The lady will be so pleased that you’ve come to visit so soon after you have gotten back.”
Xie Zheng had barely taken a quick bath and kissed his mother before he went over to the Weis’ abode. Meng Lihua met him in the parlor, giving him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.
“Zheng’er! I’m so happy to see you home safe. You’re here earlier than expected. Your mother told me you wouldn’t be back for some days.” She spent a few more moments brushing lint off his shoulder and fussing about his weight.
While Meng Lihua seemed as ephemeral as a sheer curtain, Xie Zheng held still and obediently let her spin him around for a full assessment. This was self-preservation, not only to save himself a quick death from his mother if she heard about any rudeness towards her close friend, but to protect against any cutting words from a woman who used whispers and political maneuvers no less competently than his uncle.
After a few more moments of small talk, asking after his parents and her daughter, Xie Zheng finally had the opportunity to ask the question burning on his tongue.
“And where is Changyu, Ms Meng?” He had brought countless treats and gifts in the carriage to her that the gyrfalcon and couriers could not carry. Meng Lihua looked up at him with knowing eyes, an easy mirror to her two daughters who loved nothing more than mischief.
“Why, she’s at a courting event, of course.”
~~~~~~~~~~~
Before he left for the north 5 years ago, he had placed a firm boundary regarding his relationship with Wei Changyu.
Their mothers had been itching to matchmake the two of them before Meng Lihua even delivered, wishing for their two families to be united. As such, Xie Zheng grew up used to teasing remarks. It was understood that Wei Changyu would get what she wanted from him and that he would clean up any messes she left behind, though not without a heavy scolding.
However, as he got older, he realized how detrimental these remarks could be to a young girl with no betrothal agreement. While this would be a beneficial arranged marriage to both sides, the families were hopeless romantics and wanted their children to choose marriage for love as they did.
Consequently, there was no formal contract, and Xie Zheng hated for Wei Changyu to think of him poorly as she grew up and realized there was no promise behind those half-meant jokes from their parents. He wanted the best for her, whether it was him or not.
His duty was to the country and protecting the northern border, something he could never drag her into.
She was a mere eleven years old when he left for the front, and he thought of her as a sort of younger sister. He told his mother such, and she acquiesced to his wishes, not making any more remarks about a future daughter-in-law in the weeks before he left. Wei Changyu, either overhearing their conversation or picking up on surprisingly adult nuances, also started treating her Zheng-ge more distantly before he left, which irked him more than he expected.
However, her letters came regularly, although his were often delayed writing back. He looked forward to seeing her messy characters, albeit with a sense of bittersweetness as he saw her calligraphy improve without him there helping her copy her lines. She never mentioned any true grievances, most likely to prevent upsetting him. She complained about her tutors, bragged about her martial arts training, and begged to join him up north.
Xie Zheng had responded to all her points, no matter how poorly written, except for the last. He would hear nothing of Wei Changyu joining him in no-man’s land with her father and Xie Linshan.
He knew that she had been receiving martial arts training from her father and then her masters since she was a toddler. He had heard Wei Xilin extolling her various accomplishments in the training field.
However, there was a vast difference between being competent with sparring and being capable of death. He had joined his father in Jinzhou no later than thirteen years old and wasn’t able to sleep for a week after his first battle. Since then, he had slain countless man and slumbered dreamlessly after each one.
He hated to think of her having to hurt others or sleepless. While she might have had a rough hand, her heart was softer than most people thought.
So, he spent years like this, passing short messages through falcons or longer messages through couriers, often with little snacks or trinkets he saw that made him think of her. She would return these gifts with tangerine peel candy, which she had mistakenly thought he liked since she was a toddler. By now, however, he was fond of the candy more than he thought he would be.
What pigs are rooting around my cabbage? The thought of that girl, no taller than a carriage wheel in his mind, undergoing courtship parties at some lord’s house, made his chest ache as if someone struck him there with a pole, something that hadn’t happened since he was twelve years old. It must be from his overprotectiveness as her elder brother, he thought. As such, it would only be responsible for him to chaperone such an event.
Xie Zheng executed a perfect bow to Meng Lihua, taking his leave. He did not tell her where he was going, but she would bet her entire fragrance collection that he was going to the gathering at the Marquis of Jinwen’s residence.
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Qi Shu…. I’m bored,” Wei Changyu blew her bangs in the air, her cheek smushed into her elbow as she leaned gracelessly over the table. The tablet remained as desolate as the northern border and even more terrifying to the young girl than any Northern Jue. She would much rather fight off a hundred barbarians than write poetry to be completed by some boy here.
Qi Shu, one of Wei Changyu’s closest friends, ignored her plight as if it were nothing more than a buzzing fly. Her usually perfect posture was somehow even more rigid than normal, as if her spine were made of the same wood as the tablets. She was previously just as indolent as her friend, but after seeing the tutor Gongsun Yin at the event, her enthusiasm had exponentially grown.
Watching her friend’s beautiful calligraphy about chess – her least favorite board game – Wei Changyu resented being here even more. Qi Shu had dragged her here so she wouldn’t be alone, but now Wei Changyu was somehow even lonelier!
Wei Changyu haphazardly scribbled down a few lines about martial arts training and falling onto wet grass before handing it over to Qi Shu’s maidservant to distribute amongst the young male scholars. Under her mistress’s command, the maidservant brought back their tablets first to avoid any embarrassment. Wei Changyu expected her tablet to look as it had before she sent it off.
To her surprise, it looked as if someone had completed her tablet. Not only that, but he had also turned her wild lines into a lush scene of nature and strength. The handwriting was elegant and familiar, and both she and Qi Zhu knew who the author was within moments. After all, they had been looking at his script for months.
Wei Changyu figured it was under the duress of this event and thought nothing of it, even as Qi Zhu continued with her conspiracy theory that Li Huai’an, the boy they copied arithmetic homework from, was somehow deeply in love with her. She took her tablet, decided not to embarrass the poor boy, who probably wrote a few lines to get his grandfather off his back, and went to wander as Qi Zhu left her to do who knows what.
Little did Wei Changyu know, she was one of the most eligible bachelorettes in the capital since her coming-of-age ceremony a few months ago. Being easy on the eyes as well as easy to talk to, she had half of the Imperial Academy’s admiration if not more. As someone completely focused on her martial arts training and her little sister, she believed that everyone was just naturally kind to her without much thought to it all.
Her mother had been receiving courtship gifts in their courtyard for several weeks now, but every time they tried to talk to Wei Changyu about it, she would stare guilelessly at them with her apricot eyes and declare that it must be under duress to find a spouse. She would then praise her parents for being so lenient with her. While this was partially true, Wei Changyu had a legion of admirers which she knocked down any chance she got on the training field. Somehow, this only increased her appeal.
As someone who grew up with an abundance of love and without much material want, she did not deign to keep most of these gifts, and they had piled up in a room to her parents’ annoyance.
Thinking nothing of her eligibility, Wei Changyu plopped down onto a soft patch of grass under a willow tree by the water. The small talk and poetry had exhausted her more than a hundred drills with General He, and all she wanted was to nap. As she had just gotten settled and closed her eyes, she suddenly felt a crabapple bud land on her forehead. She ignored it but could not ignore three.
She caught the third in her left hand and looked up at the culprit. As someone who never had a strong appreciation for aesthetics, the image of the strikingly handsome young man surrounded by shimmering leaves still stole her breath. Although it took her a moment to connect the present to the past, she knew it had to be her-
“Zheng-ge!”
He leaned on a tree branch, the definition of laziness if one didn’t notice how still he was. It seemed as though the merciful evening breeze only had an effect on a few loose strands, and his long limbs were as still as a wolf crouched in the grass, hunting.
Wei Changyu was surprised to see Xie Zheng here, as she was told by her mother that he was not due to return for a few more days.
“So, you do still remember me after all these years.” Those words came out with more bitterness than he expected though a teasing smile remained on his face.
“What are you doing here?” She held the crabapple bud loosely in her hand. She had years of his snarky remarks to take his statement too much to heart.
“Heard you were here picking a husband for yourself. Thought I’d help vet the candidates.”
He was eager to hear her say that there were no such contestants for her heart, and his heart felt lighter when she rolled her eyes. However, any lightness vanished with her next words.
“Don’t say you’ve heard all the rumors all the way in the north after my coming of age.” He tilted his head, listening closely and reminding her of the falcon he gifted her 2 years ago. The bird had the same focus and sharp eyes before diving at some mouse or chicken. “I’m not really looking for a husband right now, at no matter what these aunties say.”
She then noticed the tablet next to her and quickly stashed it behind her back, as if she wasn’t in front of the youngest general in Dayin. The teasing smile on his face sharpened, his mouth feeling like it was full of knives.
He had come earlier and seen her half asleep at the banquet with a familiar fondness and new quiet pleasure at how tall she was. Any pleasant feelings were quickly extinguished when Qi Shu’s maidservant delivered her tablet to the male side, who he saw squabbling over her tablet once they recognized her messy handwriting. His knuckles burned to smash one of their soft jaws.
To prevent a political disaster, he left before seeing who won the battle for her poetry. Xie Zheng saw her leave quickly as well with some relief and decided he needed to monitor her from afar. However, he was unable to prevent the urge to grab her attention, which always came so easily when they were children.
Now seeing the tablet completed with some scholar’s elegant handwriting, his hands clenched with the urge to deck someone even more than earlier. Using his years of military training, he reined in his emotions with more difficulty than he expected. Smiling nonchalantly, he leapt down from the tree with barely a sound.
“If you’re not looking, then I’ll take you home.” She nodded and hopped up from the damp grass.
Unlike before, she remained quiet by his side. Xie Cheng quietly stewed, wondering where the little chatterbox he knew so deeply had went. He resented that she treated him like a simple chaperone as if she weren’t his closest confidant.
Wei Changyu, on the other hand, had no idea how to interact with this ghost from her past. Although they had exchanged countless letters, it was different to see her Zheng-ge in person. He had grown even taller and broader since she last saw him 5 years ago. Not only that, but he was also imbued with a sort of quiet confidence and strength that he did not have before. He walked through the courtyard as if it was his, or as if he would have no trouble wresting it out of anyone’s hands.
As they turned a corner, they ran into a young man in refined violet scholar robes. He greeted Wei Changyu first with a bow and an eager smile. He then turned to the tall man next to her and immediately felt his whole body clench at the dark gaze.
“And this is….?”
Changyu replied to the devastation of the man next to her and the elation of the main across from her, “My brother.”
Li Huai’an couldn’t hide his quiet relief, although his fear of this elder brother only grew when he turned to greet him. “Greetings, elder brother!”
The aforementioned man, instead of having any response, just pivoted on the path and walked past him as if he had encountered some dung on the road. His long strides meant that he already was quite a few yards ahead by the time Wei Changyu processed her confusion, and she ran after him with a quick goodbye to Li Huai’an.
“Zheng-ge! How are you going to take me home if you’re there before I even leave this courtyard!!”
~~~~~~~~~~~
The next few days tested his patience more than any siege. After an awkward carriage ride where Xie Zheng refused to engage in conversation with Wei Changyu, he had to go to a clandestine conversation with the crown prince where he learned he had to stay in the Capital for an extended period as a pseudo-hostage to receive the resources his father needed up north.
That in itself already irritated him immensely, but having to monitor Wei Changyu and her classmates in their martial arts class as their instructor raised his ire to another level.
Changyu, unsurprisingly, was the best in her class. He felt a fluttering pride in his chest as she bested her opponents with perfect form. Her archery, swordplay, and footwork were textbook perfect, although he couldn’t help pointing out where her openings were.
Unlike the rest of her class, she took these scolds with grace and a wide smile, looking just like the 8-year-old girl who he helped copy sentences. However, he refused to be accused of favoritism and only lectured her more, which she shook off faster than water off a mandarin duck’s back.
What bothered him was not her competency but others’ admiration of it. It would even be fine if it were only her female peers, but boys in the class dared to compliment her, as if she could not knock them back with one blow. Xie Zheng could defeat them with even less than that, he seethed. He wasn’t sure how they felt worthy of her affection if they could not even hold their own in a spar.
“Miss Wei, your dedication to martial arts is truly inspiring!”
It was horrible enough that she had scholars chasing after her, but Zhang Wenchang, He Jingyuan’s visiting disciple, also looked at her with bright eyes. His abilities were competent enough, although Xie Zheng could still toss him off a palace wall before he even knew Xie Zheng was behind him. At this moment, the idea was very attractive.
Wei Changyu took this compliment, as she did the others, with much grace and continued her drills with hardly any interruption. After days of these dogs slobbering after her, Xie Zheng finally had enough and there was an itch under his skin that he just could not scratch.
“Miss Wei.” His voice rang out in the open field, and she turned her large eyes over to him. “Let’s see the result of your drills.”
He took two practice swords from the rack and tossed one to her. She caught it effortlessly with a bright toothy grin.
“Yes, instructor Xie!”
While Xie Zheng had been odd since he came back, Wei Changyu did not take it personally. She figured he had seen much in his days at the northern border that change any man. And anyways, he had always been mercurial. One moment, he was indulging her in whatever she wanted and the next cold and scolding.
Time had transformed a quiet child to a solemn boy and now to a stoic man. Although she was still learning who he is now, Wei Changyu knew him since birth and trusted that whatever led him to stay in this cloistered cage of a city, he would never hurt her.
Moreover, she had not sparred with him since he came back and was itching to prove herself to him. For some reason, she wanted him to know that she was not the little girl who wailed in the carriage when he announced he was going to Jinzhou but was a capable woman in her own right.
The rest of the students quieted, stopping what they were doing to watch. In the week or so that Xie Zheng had been their instructor, he clearly deigned it beneath him to actually spar with any of the students, preferring to correct their form during drills and shout out criticisms during spars between students. The class did not take this as an insult that he did not give the practical training but as him sparing their lives.
Wei Changyu, as the best student in the class, was the only one who had the privilege of sparring with this war general. However, most of the class pitied her more than envied her. Xie Zheng was a harsh taskmaster and had cultivated an aura of fear that repelled students even despite his attractive face and graceful build.
He preferred looser clothing while in the capital, giving him the appearance of a swan or a willow tree, hiding the muscular build underneath. Wei Changyu did not underestimate him, as she had read his quiet boasts in his letters and heard about his accolades from his mother. Even if she did not have this inside information, his rapid rise through the ranks to the youngest general in history would make anyone wary.
They circled each other quietly, Xie Zheng with a loose form and lazy gait that would not look out of place at a market. Wei Changyu, on the other hand, had perfect posture and was slightly leaning forward, like a small leopard ready to pounce. Despite his irritation, seeing Wei Changyu so focused made his fondness for her only grow.
To no one’s surprise, Wei Changyu charged first. She went through the first few motions of her drills just to see what he would do. Somehow, Xie Zheng vanished before her with hardly a sound. He’s fast, she thought, unsurprised. She did not expect these first few moments to actually affect him, a man trained since birth on the same drills as her who also gained a reputation for creative military schemes.
She could tell that he was holding back as she was not face down in the grass with his sword pointed at her neck in the first ten seconds of their spar. Instead, he allowed her to attack again and again, only tapping her with his wooden sword where she was open and deflecting any blows without going on the offense himself. It was invigorating to be able to go against an opponent who was capable of handling her every move as well as teaching her where her weak points were, although annoying that he was going so easy on her.
Wei Changyu panted, sweat beading on her forehead. The man across from her looked completely unaffected, not even a flush on his face from the summer sun. She resented how calm he looked. She grinned, an idea that Meng Lihua would clearly scold her for coming to mind. Xie Zheng narrowed his sharp eyes, reading her intention but not clear on what action she was planning on taking.
She ran forward again, this time switching her grip to something new. Xie Zheng was somehow prepared for this and parried easily. She then started circling him, trying new maneuvers to see what his blocks were and also to get them closer to the edge of the training field. She then attacked more furiously, requiring more force from his fluid movements to parry her.
Wei Changyu suddenly lost her footing after a particularly fierce deflection and started to fall backwards with a tree branch aimed directly at her lower back. Xie Zheng’s eyes widened, and he reached an arm out to grab her. As he did, she immediately switched her sword grip back and took the opening he gave her. She knew this was her opportunity and smiled at the thought of getting one over Zheng-ge finally.
Before her smile could even fully stretch over her face, she was on the ground with Xie Zheng’s sword against her neck and looking up at furious dark eyes.
“Xie Zheng is truly cruel! He only saved her just to force her surrender!” The students watching gasped as they saw a flailing Wei Changyu get the wind knocked out of her at first by a clumsy foot and then by their instructor.
Xie Zheng, however, knew exactly what this little miscreant tried to do. For the sake of her reputation and his, he only shot her a knowing look as he helped her off the grass with one hand.
As he pulled her up effortlessly, he hissed in her ear. “That is not sportsmanlike.”
She looked up at him, with flushed cheeks and eyes bright with no regret. He felt his heart beat faster than it had their entire spar.
“As you’ve written to me, Zheng-ge, I should take any opening the opponent gives me. Deception is fair in war.” He looked at her silently. Since when was he, her opponent!
“Ten more drills Miss Wei, as you clearly need to work on your balance during fights,” he drawled, grabbing her practice sword off the ground to go put away. The rest of the class winced as they watched the dejected girl go off to do more drills after an exhausting battle.
At least her expected humiliating defeat was not witnessed by Qi Shu, who not only would have cackled at seeing her laid out on the ground, but also would have known exactly what stunt she was trying to pull. Unfortunately, since Qi Shu was not at school today, it meant she had to grab the arithmetic homework from Li Huai’an by herself.
She met him at the side of the academy after school after cleaning herself up and getting an armful of treats from her classmates who either saw or heard about her harsh treatment from Xie Zheng. The same girls who used to trail after him, giggling, now whispered his name fearfully in case they invoked his presence.
Li Huai’an passed her a small journal with the math homework, and she took it with thanks. Thinking of all the candies in her bag, she intended to give him a few as a token of her gratitude. As he reached to grab the small bag of candied fruits from her hand, the two students sensed someone behind them.
They both turned in unison, eyes wide in fear of being caught. Indeed, a few steps away was Xie Zheng, staring at them with stormy eyes.
Wei Changyu winced, knowing that she was going to get an earful about copying homework or, even worse, reported to her parents for her actions. Li Huai’an, on the other hand, feared for his limbs as the tall man in front of them looked at his outstretched hands as if they were pigs on a chopping block for the slaughter. He quickly retracted his appendages, wanting to keep his body as intact as possible.
“I see that your elder brother is here for you, Miss Wei. I will take my leave then.” As he scurried away, Wei Changyu gave him back his book as a last-ditch attempt to save herself before running in the opposite direction herself after Xie Zheng.
She spotted him by the academy gate with arms crossed and felt a sense of relief at finding him before he made it to the Wei residence. This gave her a chance to plead her case, and Xie Zheng usually bent her way after some begging and, more often, tears.
“I thought you had already left.” She panted, having sprinted after him.
He barely glanced her way as he started walking.
“Wouldn’t leaving be more convenient for you two?”
The words came out so bitter he wished he had some of her tangerine peel candy with him. Unfortunately, she had tried to give it to some adolescent criminal. Changyu, hearing this, grew angry, but mostly confused.
“What are you talking about? I won’t copy his arithmetic homework anymore. Is it necessary for you to mock me like this?” Even the slightest rumor of a courtship between her and Li Huai’an would be inconvenient to her and her continued arithmetic help.
Xie Zheng did a few breathing exercises, the same ones he used to do before entering a battlefield his first few times. He had let his fury get the best of him, something that hadn’t happened in years.
They walked together in silence for a few moments before Xie Zheng began his interrogation on her unscrupulous academic ways. After a few questions, he learned that she had been copying that scholar’s homework for almost a year now along with Qi Shu. He also found out that they had been going to a tavern to copy his work, the same place he used to take her to help her with her calligraphy and writing.
Xie Zheng wasn’t sure what irritated him more, the fact that she somehow picked up horrible habits while he was gone, or that she was using their shared places to perform these crimes. Once again, he was filled with malice at the thought of her replacing him with an inferior copy.
He rubbed his forehead, unaware of the scene they were causing. Wei Changyu’s head was bowed with her foot tracing circles on the ground. Xie Zheng towered over the tall girl with a cold expression and a deep grimace. It was easy to see who the victim was, but her fellow students were too afraid to interfere.
“I’ll take over your tutoring. Don’t see him anymore. He has bad intentions if he is letting you copy without helping you learn any of the concepts.” Wei Changyu lifted her head hearing this, any traces of remorse replaced with joy.
“Thank you Zheng-ge! I will study hard! You won’t tell my mother, right?”
Many people wrongly assumed that Wei Qilin was the head of the household and would be shocked to learn that the delicate Meng Lihua held the residence in her hand with an iron fist. Wei Changyu looked up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to spare her life. He rolled his eyes.
“Depends on how hard you study.”
As her tutor, he met up with her as often has he could with all his other duties, usually an hour or two every day or so. He learned more about the young woman that Changyu had grown into, his fondness and exasperation only growing in the meanwhile. While her disdain for anything unrelated to combat was obvious, it was clear that Meng Lihua had drilled into her head the necessity of her studies to continue her martial arts training.
Wei Changyu was as bright as ever, and they quickly fell into a new rhythm. Xie Zheng wasn’t one to be easily amused, but she would make him snort as least a few times a week, if not an outright chuckle. She listened carefully at what he had to say and never gave up on her campaign to ask him more about the front and his life away from the Capital. If the northern Jue was as persistent as her, he had said flatly, they would have conquered all of Dayin by now. Her peals of laughter rang through the open pavilion like bells ringing.
He had decided to tutor her at the pavilion rather than the taverns. Xie Zheng couldn’t bear to take her back to the tavern where he used to buy her pig trotters after hearing about how she took Li Huai’an there. Instead, Wei Changyu would bring various snacks and fruits from local vendors to keep her energy up for a tiring battle, as she would declare loudly.
Xie Zheng had stalked soldiers across enemy lines for miles with endless focus. Somehow, he had no reserve of concentration left when he watched her lips wrap around longan berries and felt himself unmoored.
Wei Changyu would also bring tangerine peel candies most of the time as a thank you for tutoring her, and he accepted them with a sense of accomplishment, thinking about how Li Huai’an never got those treats from her. As much as it pained him to see, he could see why she was such a light to other students. She had always been bright, but now she shone so brilliantly even in a dingy place like the capital that no one could ignore it.
His mother, while no longer making remarks about a daughter-in-law, would look at him with sly eyes every time he announced he was off to tutor Wei Changyu. He expected a comment from her sooner rather than later and was not surprised when she brought it up at dinner one day after he came back from a tutoring session.
“Changyu has turned out to be a fine young woman, has she not?” Madame Xie inquired mildly. Xie Zheng said nothing, only looking up at his mother with both warning and fear in his eyes.
“She has many suitors, and I feel as though my dreams of being her mother-in-law are quickly vanishing.” Wei Wan said in a mild tone, knowing how possessive her son could be. “Lihua is always complaining to me that they are running out of space for all her courtship presents. There will be no space for yours if you keep this up.”
Xie Zheng gripped his chopsticks tightly at the thought of her “many suitors” but still deigned to say nothing. His mother, long undeterred by the silent men in her life, continued.
“I heard that Li Huai’an and his family have been trying to court her for ages. And the rumor is that He Jingyuan wants to set her up with his disciple as well. Not to mention the countless families wishing for a strong alliance with the Meng’s. But don’t you think you would have a better chance, Zheng’er, as someone who knows her so closely and for so long?” She elegantly picked up some fish, waiting for her son to respond.
“Mother,” Xie Zheng said with a warning tone, as if she would ever be cowed by her baby.
“I know that you told me that you saw her a sister years ago, Zheng’er. But Changyu is a sweet and true girl, and I would hate to see you lose out on any happiness. She is clearly sweet for you.”
Madame Xie thought that if this tactic didn’t work, her next plan was to either lock the two of them in a room or whack her son over the head. He would forgive her more quickly for the latter.
Although Changyu did not appear to have any interest in courtship at the moment, Meng Lihua had lamented to her the political minefields of letting families down softly as Changyu rejected their sons without a second thought. Lady Xie had encouraged her friend to be as firm with these families as possible, to leave a high chance of success for her own son, who never even appreciated his mother’s actions.
“I will think about it.” Xie Zheng sighed and continued to eat, loosening his grip on his chopsticks before he broke them and got scolded again.
Obstinate boy!
~~~~~~~~~~~
What spurred him to action was not his mother’s words but rather something much more catastrophic.
It was a day that started off like any other, with Xie Zheng waited for Wei Changyu to finish her classes outside of the academy. He had been tutoring her for a few weeks now, and she was quickly rising the academic ranks now that there were no scholars impeding her with dishonest tactics.
Xie Zheng was in a better mood recently, as his own ventures had also been successful. The emperor deigned to send more supplies and troops to the north now that he held the young general hostage in the capital. His skin itched in the summer heat, but more from feeling trapped than from the humidity. He spent his days well enough, training and being able to spend time with his mother and Changyu. His enjoyment almost irritated him as much as the emperor did, as if it was proof he was getting soft with time in the capital.
He saw Wei Changyu the second she stepped out of her classroom. He had been keeping an eye on her before she could even walk, and it was second nature at this point to spot her the second she was in view. However, she had a new fly buzzing around her. His eye twitched.
This time, it was a young clerk who clearly just passed his exams and was new to the city. He had accosted Wei Changyu when she stepped out of her classroom alone, with Qi Shu, her usual confidant, nowhere to be seen.
Most people would not be able to hear a conversation so far away, but Xie Zheng was not most people.
“Miss Wei, I saw that you had requested these books and wanted to hand them to you.” The wormy boy indeed did have some military books in his hand, likely from the library.
“Oh, thank you!” Wei Changyu did not need to smile that widely for such a small gesture. “You really didn’t have to; I could have just stopped by to pick them up myself.”
Good, Xie Zheng thought, set firm boundaries.
“It’s no trouble.” Now, why is that clerk blushing. “I always see you in the library, checking out military books. If you ever need anything from the library or have any questions about what you’re reading, feel free to ask for Song Yan. I would love to help you if I can.”
Song Yan was too busy looking earnestly into Wei Changyu’s eyes to see the calamity behind him. However, Wei Changyu spotted him, so still one would not be faulted for thinking he was a beautiful sculpture.
They say that dogs and cats can sense a tsunami before it swells. In the same way, Wei Changyu’s instincts warned her that there was a catastrophe in her midst. Unfortunately, Wei Changyu had horrible self-preservation instincts as well as a strong trust in the tall man looming over the clerk. Instead of fearing for her life like she should have, she had the same energy as a cat seeing a feather toy, ready to play.
Her luminous eyes moved from Song Yan to the young general behind him and somehow grew even brighter. Xie Zheng stood only a few steps away. His posture was casual with slumped shoulders, but his jaw belied a new tension.
“Zheng-ge!” She waved, and he nodded to her in response, eyes not leaving the clerk standing next to her.
Song Yan finally noticed the man behind him and was shocked to see who Wei Changyu had addressed so familiarly. He had heard rumors of the general, whispers that he was rabid and had 3 heads and 7 arms. He was not expecting a man with a face that would not have looked out of place in a painting or an elegant silhouette that hid strength which killed hundreds, if not thousands, of men if the rumors were true.
The young clerk felt his legs shake under the intense scrutiny of this military legend as if he were about to faint, although the derision and boredom in his eyes made him feel as though Xie Zheng was staring at a mosquito that he needed to swat rather than another human being.
“Miss Wei, I will take my leave now!” With that, Song Yan bowed quickly and scampered away, relieved that his life and limbs were intact. He did not know what he did to endure such a look from the general, but he did not want to stay to find out.
Wei Changyu stared at the puff of smoke left behind by the young clerk in confusion. She figured clerks were busy and so did not have time for pleasantries after dropping off her books. Very odd, however, as she usually picked up her own books.
Xie Zheng was then somehow right next to her, so close she could smell his clean clothes and the faint scent of metal. She automatically tried to take a step back, but he grabbed her wrist with an unseen speed. He held it firmly without any pain, and she knew trying to get him to release his grip would be impossible. While Xie Zheng had always been very indulgent with her growing up, she was never able to convince him of anything once he had made his mind up.
Now that she didn’t have the distraction of Song Yan, she sensed that there was some stress from Xie Zheng. He used his free hand to pluck the book out of her hand and examined it between pinched fingers, as if it were a dirty rag.
“I have a nicer edition of this at our home library. Why are you letting some clerk give you a subpar version?” He drawled, unimpressed.
“How would I know what you have!” She shouted, louder than she intended.
Wei Changyu flushed, the proximity making her more flustered than usual. For some reason, her mind stuttered when she realized she could feel the heat emanating from him, and she lost her usual retorts, falling silent.
“Are you more interested in being tutored by someone who has passed the exams?” Xie Zheng murmured softly, ignoring her question and tilting his phoenix eyes down at her.
The sun was directly behind him and cast a shadow over his eyes that only heightened her trepidation. In this lighting, he seemed more like an agile hunter than her stern teacher and friend.
“New scholars are always hunting for eligible young noble women, wanting to raise their status in the capital.” Although he did not raise his voice, she only felt more apprehensive of the situation, as Xie Zheng rarely had to yell to get what he wanted. “Haven’t I taught you caution?”
Wei Changyu was not sure how she got into this situation at the front of her school, trapped by a young man she had known her whole life who was speaking to her like he never had before. While there was no pain in his firm grip, it was stronger than any shackle as she tried to shake free.
Changyu only nervously nodded, not sure why the clerk was being slandered so. He was only trying to help and was probably new to the capital, in her eyes.
As quickly as the shadow came, it left. Xie Zheng straightened his head and released her wrist, reverting back to his familiar tone.
“Let’s go to the pavilion. I only have an hour today.” Wei Changyu nodded, the usually talkative girl lost for words.
She meekly followed him, not wanting to trigger whatever led to his mood again. They left for their usual water pavilion in silence, Changyu too confused and Xie Zheng deep in thought. She was curious about what he was thinking about and spent most of the walk looking at him, wondering if it had to do with instructing or the war efforts or tutoring her. Her mind was running rampant, and Xie Zheng could feel her itching to ask.
He reached out a hand to pat her head, and she flinched away from him suspiciously, remembering his recent actions. Her wide eyes narrowed, and he was amused by how much she resembled a deer wondering if it should flee from a predator.
“Don’t worry, I’m just thinking through some things.”
“What things?” Changyu was still leery, not wanting to fall for one of his sneak attacks.
Xie Zheng caught most people off guard, but she knew he had many tricks up his sleeve. It wasn’t just his physical strength that led him to being the youngest general in Dayin, after all. She had also been fooled many times as a child to go along with his plans instead of her own, especially when he thought she was causing too much trouble.
“I’ll tell you when I figure it out. You don’t want to know before then.” He then patted her head, somehow managing to reach her despite her wariness.
Feeling like his bad mood was over, Changyu relaxed. The rest of the afternoon passed by like any other. Wei Changyu was studious, her eyes focused on her scrolls and books for most of the session.
Xie Zheng’s eyes never left the girl, who had a flush in her cheeks from the heat or, maybe, from his earlier actions. The right side of his full lips lifted in a slight smile, preparing himself for a strategic battle. This time, however, the miniature war will be waged in the capital.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The shadows swept through the open curtains, obscuring half of the young man’s face in the evening light. Xie Zheng sat alone in one of the smaller offices of the family residence with a new scroll blank in front of him, mouth hidden behind his folded hands.
One would not be faulted thinking that he was concocting a new military strategy or writing a vital message to the emperor. His eyes were focused on something unseen, staring into the distance. Xie Zheng was so lost in his thoughts that he barely heard Gongsun Yin enter the room.
“Xie Zheng, I have not seen you this preoccupied in years.” The old friend then smiled, knowing that he was about to enter the combat zone. “Not since you were thinking about what to send Miss Wei for her coming-of-age present.”
The brush barely missed his ear and landed with a threatening thud on the wall behind Gongsun Yin. He knew that the miss was a mercy Xie Zheng would not give many others. He also knew the only reason that the brush was not embedded in the wall was due to Lady Xie.
The young scholar sat down across from the general, wondering why he was summoned here. He waited patiently, knowing that this must be important for such an urgent call. The word wrested its way out of Xie Zheng’s mouth and was so grating that it must have been painful to say.
“Courtship.” Gongsun Yin raised his eyebrows in response.
“Miss Wei?” It was an easy guess.
Gongsun Yin did not think there was any other young woman that had caught Xie Zheng’s eye nor any other that could soothe his temper. Moreover, he had seen Xie Zheng buy copious toys and novelties clearly meant for a young girl and then a young lady for years. The only reason he didn’t get fleeced harder up north buying all these gifts was the fear the merchants had when they saw the young general at their stand with such a stern expression. A terse nod from Xie Zheng confirmed his thoughts.
“Well, she is already fond of you. I can’t imagine she would be difficult to woo. Just buy her nice things and spend time with her! Help her out here and there and buy her some trinkets that remind you of her.”
This was truly the case of the blind leading the blind, as Gongsun Yin had yet to have a successful courtship either. However, he surmised, it couldn’t be too different than all the novels and texts he had read. It seemed as though there was a simple formula to it.
“I already do all that. Have been doing that.” Xie Zheng rubbed his eyes, clearly annoyed by the situation. “I do not wish to announce my attentions without first gauging her interest and letting her know that I am serious.”
The joke Gongsun Yin was about to make died in his mouth. He could tell that his friend was truly vulnerable and struggling in this moment.
All the courtship books Xie Zheng reviewed had been useless. He already complimented Wei Changyu, helped her when she needed it, and bought whatever caught her eye or reminded him of her. He had been good to her since before she could walk, as it was a clear expectation from his parents that then became an easy, pleasurable habit over time.
He did not think she would appreciate it if he showed up to the Wei residence with a carriage full of brocade robes and jewelry, considering she spent most of her time in training robes with her hair barely tied up.
“Well, you know your future intended best.” Gongsun Yin sighed. I’m sure she would be delighted with whatever you come up with. Maybe just let her hit you in a spar a few times. That was always her favorite hobby growing up.”
Xie Zheng leaned back in his chair and covered his eyes, seriously considering that option and wishing he could fight a thousand men instead of facing one young lady. Gongsun Yin, sensing that the conversation was over, changed the topic to discuss updates about the northern borders.
When Gongsun Yin left an hour or so later, Xie Zheng went to go lay down in his bed. A less graceful man may have looked like he had just flopped down, but he would dare anyone to say that to him.
Unfortunately, his mother was the one who caught him as she stood in the doorway. She hid a smile behind her sleeve and sat down quietly on one of the chairs in his room. Xie Zheng was naturally tidy, and years of military service had honed his habits to such an extent that it bothered the servants who did not have anything to assist with when he came home. After a few moments of silence, Xie Zheng finally addressed his mother.
“You should have just betrothed us at birth.” He muttered.
Lady Xie sighed, clearly amused by the quirk of her lips. She was too tactful to say I told you so or to jump for joy.
“We wanted to give you both the freedom to choose for yourself. You know Wei Changyu’s parents are hopeless romantics.” She said, as if she and her husband were any better. Their whirlwind romance and subsequent betrothal had taken place over only a few months.
“I am sure Changyu will be receptive to whatever courtship you are concocting. After all, you are far superior to her other suitors and know her better than them.” Wei Wan, knowing her son well, did not miss the twitch in his jaw. After all, the comment was primarily to tease him. “I will leave you to your thoughts, my dear son.”
Xie Zheng groaned, not knowing why his mother had to hit his weak points while he was already suffering so.
The next day, Wei Changyu showed up to their usual study spot a bit early. She knew Xie Zheng had some meetings with the capital military strategists as he sent her a letter in his perfect calligraphy letting her know he would be late. She didn’t mind, as she appreciated the time he was taking out of his days to help her ace her classes.
Honestly, Wei Changyu had a stronger grasp on most concepts already by this point but had hesitated to tell the older boy. Without these sessions, she worried that she wouldn’t see him as often, which bothered her for some reason.
She sat backward on the bench, resting her cheek on crossed arms on top of the back of it. Wei Changyu watched the leaves float in the wind, and her eyes started to flutter shut in the cool shade of the pavilion.
By the time Xie Zheng made it to the tutoring session, Wei Changyu was fast asleep. Instead of waking her, he stood there with a stern look and soft eyes. In this moment, he was reminded of all the times she had fallen asleep on him while they were growing up.
His eyes were drawn to her full lips, slightly open in slumber. There was a gloss to them as if she had licked her lips recently. He drew closer, entranced. Xie Zheng crouched down, mere centimeters from her face. At this distance, he could feel her breathe and hear her little noises as she mumbled in her sleep. His eyes were unbelievably fond, and one would be hard pressed to recognize this young man patiently waiting for his lady to wake up as the fearsome general that tormented thousands.
After some time, a breeze blew a leaf onto her face, and the touch of it woke Wei Changyu up. She scrunched her eyes together in annoyance and slowly opened them to meet a pair of beautiful, dark phoenix eyes. Xie Zheng had an inscrutable expression on his face and was so close to her that she could feel heat rushing to her cheeks due to the proximity.
She immediately flailed awake and leaned back, forgetting that she was sitting backwards and so had nothing supporting her. Fan Changyu felt the familiar drop in her stomach knowing that she was about to fall and just as she was about to lose her balance, she felt a firm grip on her arm.
For a moment, she was suspended there, at an impossible angle, with her hair brushing the ground and her arm in the hold of one of her best friends’. She felt her arm pulse in his grip, as if the heat from his hand had burned her even through her sleeves. He pulled her up easily with one arm over the bench, as if she were weightless.
Xie Zheng must have underestimated his strength as she toppled right into him. Her face landed on his firm chest, and she could smell him, somehow reminiscent of fresh snow even in the city summer. She immediately jerked back, face red. His eyes were still unreadable, but he didn’t seem to be upset at her. She peered up at him through her lashes and prepared to apologize deeply for falling asleep. Just as she opened her mouth to apologize, he interrupted her.
“Let’s get started on your arithmetic chapter.”
Wei Changyu, while intelligent, did not have much of an appetite for most written works, whether it was arithmetic or calligraphy or writing. As such, her mind often wandered to more interesting things, especially when she had already grasped the concept.
“Zheng-ge, what is it like up north?” Xie Zheng, eyes focused on his own scroll, did not look up at her.
“Haven’t I answered this countless times every time you ask in one of your letters?” He scolded without any heat behind his words. “And anyways, that has nothing to do with your homework.”
“Well, it’s different reading your words and hearing it or even being able to see it.” At that, Xie Zheng looked up at her.
“Why would you want to see a battlefield?” His words came out sharper than he intended in his panic. A warzone was no place for Wei Changyu. As fierce as she was, she had soft heart that would get trampled the second she saw the bloodbath of a battle.
“You’re there.” She said it simply and easily, as if it didn’t pierce his heart to hear.
“You’re there, and so is your father and mine.” Wei Changyu looked off at the water, the sun catching her from behind and making it look as though she were glowing. “I want to help.”
Xie Zheng’s heart clenched, feeling as though it would overflow with the warmth he felt for her. However, his fear won out and he changed the subject back to her schoolwork.
~~~~~~~~~~~
For the next few days, Wei Changyu felt as though she was seeing Xie Zheng more often than usual. He still showed up to their usual tutoring sessions but would now often escort her there. Xie Zheng would also bring snacks, and Wei Changyu thought it very fortuitous that he seemed to enjoy the same snacks as she did.
As he promised, he gave her his personal edition of Military Stratagems and even carelessly said that she could annotate in the book whatever she did not understand, so he could help her with it. She thought he must be out of his mind considering this was clearly a rare edition and expensively bound. She would hate to mar such a beautiful book and wrote her questions on a separate sheet instead.
The time they spent together made her realize how much Xie Zheng had changed in the time he had been gone. He had always been a serious child, taking responsibility for things that were not his to own, like when she got bullied by the prince, and he got whipped for taking vengeance for her. Training and time had taken these traits and intensified them, turning him into an authoritative man who did not shirk from any duty.
She could still see glimpses of the quiet, sarcastic boy that he was and loved seeing him roll his eyes or make a snide remark that no one else but her would catch. Wei Changyu felt a sense of pride for the man he had grown into, although she did not have much to do with it.
Xie Zheng was thoughtful and deliberate, and she would be touched that he still spent so much time with her if she did not feel as if it were her birthright. She had always acted like she was owed his time, and he never dissuaded her otherwise. However, the moments they had together seemed charged recently.
Ever since he grabbed her wrist after she talked to the scholar, Xie Zheng had been acting differently around her in a way she couldn’t quite describe. She was sure no one else could tell, but Wei Changyu knew him well and knew he was up to something. The change in his demeanor made her more easily flustered, which he seemed to take an annoying pleasure in.
Xie Zheng would stand more closely to her when talking and casually touch her when she was least expecting it. It was never anything inappropriate, a hand at her back to ostensibly steady her or fussing with her hair if he noticed something stuck in it. But all these things together made her heart flutter rapidly every time she saw him, as if she was a mouse stuck in a trap.
He would also visit her at her home, for some reason having his presence announced although he used to roam freely through the halls before. This only made her mom smile for some reason, and Wei Changyu figured he had just learned some odd military etiquette.
It all came to a head when Xie Zheng’s presence was announced one afternoon by the steward. He showed up to the front hall looking particularly handsome, wearing elegant black robes with iridescent cloud embroidery.
She was stunned to see him in such beautiful attire, as he usually donned simple, restrained dress that was still clearly of good quality. In the clothing he was in now, it was as if she saw a jade pendant that had been newly carved and polished without a single flaw. She didn’t know where to look. He shone too brightly, blazing like the sun, but it seemed such a loss to look elsewhere even as her heart thudded faster at seeing him.
"Wei Changyu, I would like to request your audience.”
His demeanor was as stern as always, although his eyes and voice were both softer than usual. She nodded dazedly, not noticing her mom and the maids covering their mouths in the corner. They walked together in silence to a private hall, Xie Zheng not needing her to lead him in a place as familiar to him as his own home.
They sat across from each other wordlessly, Wei Changyu slowly figuring out what this was all about. She could feel her cheeks flushing before the man on the other side of the table even said anything.
A maid came in and poured some tea before quickly sprinting out, acting ostensibly as a chaperone right outside a door. She was glad for the interruption, as she could feel her hands shaking beneath the table.
“Changyu,” Xie Zheng started. “I’ve known you since childhood. I have always admired your strength and would love for you to be by my side. Will you accept my courtship?”
He then presented his courtship gift to her in a polished wooden block, a beautiful embroidered blue ribbon that he had reinforced with steel string, so that it would never shred during training and could also double as a weapon if she chose to wield it that way. Moreover, it matched the white jade hairpin he had gifted her as her coming-of-age present. Xie Zheng sat straight, with his back as rigid as a young cypress tree. He gave the moment the formality and respect it deserved, as he wanted to go through everything as properly as possible.
As such, he was not prepared for her response.
“Will you let me go north with you? If we are married?” She gripped her hands tightly in her lap but still couldn’t stop their shaking. As nervous as she clearly was, she looked up at him with clear, open eyes full of determination, waiting for his answer.
“Changyu, why would you want to be there? You are safe here.” Xie Zheng was bewildered, not knowing how they got onto this topic again.
“I don’t need your safety.” Wei Changyu said firmly. “I need to be able to help, and I know I can do it. Zheng-ge, I will not be able to marry if I am trapped in the capital.”
“You don’t have to stay in the capital,” Xie Zheng resorted to bargaining, losing control of the situation. “We have properties in many places, cities or towns or villages, and you could stay wherever you wanted.”
He reached over, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, full of desperation that he didn’t know he could feel until he felt her affection slipping away.
“The north is no place for you.” He said, beseechingly.
“Why is that for you to decide?” Wei Changyu asked fiercely, swatting his hand away from her. “You get to decide, my parents say the same, General He agrees. And yet, no one asks me what I think of this decision. What is the point of all my martial arts training if I do not go to battle and help protect my loved ones? You left for the frontlines at thirteen, and I am still stuck here at sixteen.”
Xie Zheng gritted his teeth, losing more of his temper by the second. He had not come here to debate the merits of Changyu losing her life to the battlefield. He reached over and gripped her hand tightly, needing her to know how seriously he meant his words.
“It’s because you want to make a stupid decision. You do not have to marry me, but I will not let you go to war.” He could hear himself raise his voice at her, something he had rarely done.
Changyu wrenched her hand out of his. Xie Zheng could see her palm coming from miles away and could tell that she was expecting him to dodge. Instead, he stayed frozen and met her eyes with determination as his cheek took the impact, not even turning his head to soften the blow. Her eyes widened, and the look in them hurt more than the sting on his face. He shifted his jaw, seeing if she dislocated it. Thankfully, it was all still in one piece, although he could not say the same for his heart.
Wei Changyu sat with her hand in in the air, with a stillness he had never seen from her, and her eyes began to redden.
“If that’s so, Xie Zheng, then I will have to decline your courtship at this time. Please excuse me.” She then got up, performed a perfect bow, and sprinted out of the room.
Xie Zheng was then stuck there for some time, as if someone had slid a knife in between his ribs or cut the tendons in his leg. He had been whipped, stabbed, left for dead, but this was a new pain he for which he wasn’t prepared. Maybe he had taken her affection for granted, but Wei Changyu was such a constant in his life that he felt the loss of her more than losing a lung or arm.
He sat there until Meng Lihua walked in, clearly aware of the situation. She gave him a warm hug and gently brushed his cheek, and it pained him even more how much her touch reminded him of Changyu’s.
“She’s still young. Forgive her.” Xie Zheng forced a tight-lipped smile and could feel the burn on the left side of his face.
“There is nothing to forgive. She is free to make her own decisions.” Xie Zheng tried to keep his voice even.
He felt that another word out of his mouth would crack his fragile mask. He bowed deeply and then walked back home, declining both the carriage and the ointment that Meng Lihua offered. He left the ribbon in the room. It was hers, after all.
As he was walking home, Xie Zheng could feel a burning in his eyes. Ah, how embarrassing.