Chapter Text
"What do you want ?"
He asked me, last time...
"What I want ?..." "Hm...."
That was months ago before my 16th birthday, so tomorrow...I guess so. I don't really remember what happened after. There were cute guys there, all that I know. I don't even know what I wanted this day. Sure I could've just asked about the canteen's menus to the vending machines but my brain has decided not to. Fear of rejection i know. And I don't want any bad surprises either.
I couldn't decide of anything to eat. Oh, and my mom couldn't make anything for lunch neither today, how deceiving...
I hate rechecking everything, but then I'd cry, and you know what happens when it does...I'd get slapped ! Or, it's always what I think I'd get.
That's why I delayed my first date on the 19th of June; it was supposed to be on May, but i don't want to ruin it because i c-c-can't be ready at time, and flood the room with tears...
And here I am, starving and staring at the landscape. On the small window of course. I love watching the sunset, so then i can forget my problems in the big shiny orange. Why it'd looked like that, doesn't matter, i like it.
Just like my boyfriend, but him? I'm obsessed over him: i can't even look at a fish(I'm thinking of his fish tail), especially a green one, without thinking of him. Piranin, that name reminds me of that dehydrated voice he's got, poor fishy...
He'd planned the date on my birthday, how sweet, i couldn't think of that. And the restaurant? Very nice, I'd say. However i don't want to end up like last time i went to somewhere like this.
But i haven't thinked of an outfit just yet.
I gotta go, "No, you shouldn't", please..."NO"
But it's just-"OK, go"
I went to my room. It's shiny, well-designed...I mean, it's mostly composed of boys bands posters...?! And natural documentaries and uh—I can't remember—uh-seashells and a lot of jewelery to be honest...
And there, lying on my bed, was a fishnet skirt. I love it, reminds me of mother every time I'd had a chance to wear it. Along with a tank top, it's even better. Balances out the fake sea shells and buoys on it...heh.
"Aren't people going to see....your legs??" "Oh!! And your raptor/dinosaur feet?? Omg"
MY WHAT AND MY WHAT—I BEG YOU PARDON.
"Can't fathom being weird, huh?"
Oh.
But It's just a skirt..
"Erm. Are you sure about...that?"
Oh, yeah, he also asked me that.
"Hm, haven't thought of that~..."
I answered, just...like this, yeah—Or maybe, more like "Sweetie, l-I I know...but."
Slammed in my head. Knock it, I don't want anyone here looking inside my messy mind. Thank god mum isn't the invasive type of parents.
Here i go.
Took a deep breath.
I instead just swung it. Wrapping it around my waist, pulling this thing up to my...uh...nothing special. Does it belong to mom? Feels too big for me. She always wear two sizes too large. Same for dad, but i don't see him often.
Maybe he doesn't exist.
Good for him.
I don't think I exist for him either.
Now, go back to what i want.
What?
There chimes something.
But.
What's that noise? Oh, Just my phone? I see, I see, just a joke call, i know.
Let me see...
Ah ha!...
No, can't believe this...It's PIRANIN !!!!!!!
WOOHOO!!!—
♡My luv♡: hi, you still here?
sent at 6:30 p.m.
Me:Huh? O-of course ??
ALSO SENT AT 6:30p.m.
♡My luv♡: im coming to you
Me: Okkk?
Phew, this was weird.
But i want to see myself on the mirror with my fit!!!!
Please I'll just wear it!!! It's not that hard!!! He'll love it!!!!
Damn, I should stop shaking in anger.
I closed my eyes—I'm not going to see my body without it, ugh.
But...it...it...feels wrong. It'll not be that bad if I just check a bit every step.
Until I've got to the top part. Sure, my undies and these shorts feel comfy underneath my petticoat—FOR THE SAKE OF PIRANIN I JUST WANT TO PROPERLY PUT MY TOP PLEASE. AND PLEASE I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND HE'S GOING TOO FAR I DON'T NEED THAT.
I have something to you, Piranin. Until i get to dress myself up I can then text. You.