Work Text:
[STORY START]
Jupiter is tidying up his orbit. He pulls out a small notepad and a pencil, and puts on a pair of reading glasses. Pluto and his partner, Charon, arrive at his orbit.
PLUTO: Hey, Jupiter! Um, I got your text! Is everything okay? You said you wanted to...hang out?
JUPITER: [a bit startled] Oh! Hello, Pluto, and hello, Charon. Yes, everything is fine. Come here, I need your help with something.
PLUTO: What for? Also, I hope you don't mind if I brought Charon with me. We're kind of tidally locked, you know, so we usually come in a pair!
CHARON: [giggling] I love being a binary object and a moon at the same time! Being a double planet is fun!
JUPITER: [chuckles] And that's why you're both perfect for this task. So you know how Earthling scientists recently discovered more moons orbiting me? Well, I want to impress them by telling them a story, but also catch them up on what they've missed in the Solar System, since they're pretty new.
PLUTO: Go on...
JUPITER: I wondered, what would have happened if you were never demoted from being a Planet? That could make a good story for my new moons. Why not enlist the Dwarf Planet himself to help me write that story down?
PLUTO: [His expression shifts to something more surprised, rather than excited, as if questioning Jupiter's intentions.] You want ME to write a story with you? I mean, I'm honored, Big Guy! I really am, but wouldn't you want to, y'know...write something with somebody more interesting rather than me? Like, what about Mercury or Venus? Or the other rocky planets?
JUPITER: Well, Earth and his moon are too busy obsessing and crying over a hit new drama show called When Life Gives you Sungerines—
Cut to Earth and Luna, who have a laptop in front of them as they are both crying.
EARTH: [sniffing] This show is so beautiful...WAAHHHH!!! [crying]
Luna joins him, crying as well as they hug each other. Then we cut back to Jupiter.
JUPITER: Venus just started a band with Mercury and Mars—
Cut to Mercury, Venus, and Mars. Mercury is standing behind a large keyboard piano, Venus holds a microphone and a red rock guitar, and Mars has a set of drums.
MARS: [hitting drumsticks to start the tempo] Okay! Three, two, one!!
Mercury, Venus, and Mars play their respective instruments. Venus takes a deep breath, then starts singing.
VENUS: OOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!— [Mercury and Mars's eyes go wide in shock and horror from Venus's sudden voice change, they continue playing] —EVERYTHING IS IN SHAMBLES, MY LIFE IN CRUMBLES, THE SOLAR SYSTEM IS RUBBLE, GET ME OUT OF THIS BLACK HOLE—
Cut back to Jupiter, Pluto, and Charon.
PLUTO: What about Saturn?
JUPITER: Playing hide and seek with his moons.
Cut to Saturn, the ringed planet, who is crying.
SATURN: I-I don't want to play anymore!!! This game is so hard! Where are you, my moons??? Titan? Titan, come out!!!
TITAN: [peeking from a random asteroid near Saturn] I'm gay!
SATURN: [stops crying for a brief moment] Not what I meant, but I support you!
Cut back to Jupiter, Pluto, and Charon again.
CHARON: And Uranus? Or Neptune?
JUPITER: Playing video games together.
Cut to Uranus and Neptune, the ice giants, who are playing a competitive game. There is a set up of a large screen and two consoles.
URANUS: [determined] I bet I can beat you in this match!
NEPTUNE: [giggles] Not unless I do...this!!! Hiya!!
URANUS: [scowls] Hmph! Whoever wins, has to babysit the other's moons, mate!
Cut back to Jupiter, Pluto, and Charon once more. Pluto and Charon look at each other.
PLUTO and CHARON: [at the same time] And your Galilean moons?!
JUPITER: [sighing] They're on their weekly moons' night out.
Cut to a club, where Ganymede, Europa, Callisto, and Io are hanging out on a dance floor. Europa is asleep on the floor, Io is dancing, and Callisto is comforting a crying Ganymede.
IO: Booyah! Shake it!! [wiggles]
GANYMEDE: [sobbing] My life is terrible!!! [hiccups]
CALLISTO: [sighing] There, there...
Cut back one last time to Jupiter, Pluto, and Charon.
PLUTO: Oh...
JUPITER: Yup. Now tell me, Pluto, what would it be like if you were never demoted? [he smiles, pulling out his notepad and pencil.]
PLUTO: [looks at Charon fondly, then smiles] Well...if I was always a Planet...
Daydream scenes start.
PLUTO: I'd obviously be recognized in every Earthling classroom and astronomy course. I'd also be able to hang out even more with you guys, and I'd be just as famous as you!
Pluto imagines walking down a red carpet with the other eight Solar System Planets as various moons and other smaller celestial bodies cheer for them.
RANDOM CELESTIAL OBJECT 1: Pluto!!! Over here!!! [wolf-whistles]
RANDOM CELESTIAL OBJECT 2: Pluto!!! Sign my autograph!!! [holds up a handkerchief with its gravity]
RANDOM CELESTIAL OBJECT 3: Pluto!!! I love you!!!! [squeals]
CELEBRITY PLUTO: Ladies, ladies! One at a time! [chuckles, adjusting his sunglasses]
CELEBRITY CHARON: [growls at everyone] Back off! That's my planet!!
Cut back to Pluto.
JUPITER: I see, I see...what else would you be doing as a Planet? [taking down notes]
PLUTO: Well, with my shared fame with the other Planets, I'd also have royalty checks! Lots of them! I could finally take Charon out to an all-expense vacation to...Staris!! The city of love!
Pluto is in a space-version of Paris, Staris. He and Charon are dining together with the Rigel Tower behind them.
PARISIAN CHARON: [sighing dreamily] How romantic!
PARISIAN PLUTO: [stuffs a whole croissant in his mouth] Oui!
CHARON: [giggling] What about something more bustling and colorful, like the city of TONkyo?
Pluto and Charon are in a colorful star system surrounded by many stars and artificial lighting. There are space-towers everywhere filled with pop-up advertisements and music videos. The binary pair walks together, wearing matching kimonos.
RANDOM CELESTIAL OBJECT 1: Konichiwa!!
JAPANESE PLUTO and CHARON: [at the same time] Konichiwa!! [they bow their heads]
Cut back to Pluto.
CHARON: Wait a minute! What about our other Dwarf Planet friends?
PLUTO: Well, I wouldn't forget about them. In that reality, I'd still become their friend! Maybe I'll be a super-cool real-life knight, and you my princess...
Pluto imagines another scenario where he is wearing a shiny, metal armored suit. He walks inside of a regal palace reminiscent of the Dungeons and Dwarf Planets settings, with Charon behind him. She is dressed in an adorable peach-colored gown and has a shiny silver crown on her north pole. Royal Pluto and Charon look at each other fondly, then nuzzle each other's hemispheres.
PALACE ERIS: [gasps excitedly] It's Pluto!! He's so brave and kind!!
PALACE MAKEMAKE: [squeals] And handsome!!
PALACE HAUMEA: [speaks shyly] And strong!
PALACE CERES: [grinning wickedly] AND ENTROPY!!! [as he says this, Ceres cuts in front of the screen, breaking the fourth wall]
A record scratch sound effect plays as Pluto snaps back to reality. He looks rather disheveled and shocked at his own daydreams.
JUPITER: I see... [he continues taking down notes] So you'd get all of these fun scenarios, huh? [he finishes taking notes, and chuckles] Your imagination is truly unlike any other, Pluto.
PLUTO: And I'd always be remembered and recognized. To hang out with you guys again, and to—
Pluto is quickly cut off by the Sun's yelling from a few astronomical units away.
THE SUN: Mars!!! Venus!!! GET BACK TO YOUR ORBITS!!!!!
He quickly shoots a solar flare at the two rocky planets, scaring off Mercury after the three of them just finished playing in their band.
Jupiter, Pluto, and Charon look at one another, exasperated and terrified, most notably the binary planet.
CHARON: ... [shaking]
PLUTO: [softly] You know, maybe it's a perfectly good thing that I've been demoted... [he says nervously]
JUPITER: [laughs] Ah, you definitely know how to get a big guy like me laugh! Well, that's your story! It was so fun having you both around, Pluto and Charon.
PLUTO: Likewise, Jupiter!
CHARON: Thank you, Big Guy!
Pluto and Charon bow at the gas giant, before happily hovering away and back to their own orbits and Dwarf Planet group. Jupiter is now on his own.
JUPITER: [to himself] Yes! Yes, the moons will love this story. [he breaks the fourth wall and looks at the camera screen] Thanks for your help as well!
[STORY ENDS]