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The three of them were orbiting near OTS 44, the large Brown Dwarf, or Rogue Planet. Brown Dwarfs were basically celestial bodies that were way too big to be classified as a regular Planet, but also too small or not stable enough to sustain hydrogen fusion...or whatever Stars were supposed to do.
"Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me," Mercury sang softly. Although he sounded shy, Mercury's voice sounded good for somebody that didn't sing as much. "Town to keep me movin', keep me groovin' with some energy," he finished his lines.
"Well, I talk about it, talk about it! Talk about it, talk about it! Talk about, talk about, talk about movin'!" And for somebody whose voice was rough and deep, Venus also sang really good, minus the part where he strained his vocal chords just to hit even the smallest high notes.
"Gotta move on," Mercury and Venus sang at the same time, looking at each other with a hint of playfulness. "Gotta move on...gotta move on..."
The random space karaoke machine played an instrumental version of "Funky Town," a popular Earthling song. Mercury, Venus, and Mars wanted to try and have a little bit of fun in the Rogue Planet Kingdom, since obviously back at their former home, the Solar System, they were pretty much known for being the party animals and a solid friend group...literally, because they were rocky planets. They tried all sorts of activities. SolarCards boys' night, except Mars refused to play because he didn't have his partner, Earth, by his side. The boys tried asteroid dodgeball, but Mars cried anyways because he also missed Earth. Then they tried to watch a movie altogether, but Mars also cried because he said "he and Earth always shared giant buckets of popcorn." Instead of buckets filled with classic, buttered popcorn, it was Mars's tears. Mercury and Venus tried everything to cheer their rocky pal up, but it was no use. So when Venus found an abandoned space karaoke machine while looking around for asteroids to test for habitability around OTS 44's orbits, he and Mercury thought of hosting a karaoke night to lighten Mars's mood.
Now that the song was getting to the good part and the chorus, Mercury and Venus felt hopeful when they saw Mars smiling for the first time in a while.
"Hey! I know this song!" The red planet said enthusiastically. He grabbed the third, spare microphone and would join in the singing, too. Mars took a deep breath. "WoOooOn't YOUU taKeee me to...FUNKYTOWN!!!!!! WOOOOON'tt YOOOOu take me to FUNKYTOWN!!!" And boy, was that the second worst thing Mercury and Venus ever heard next to the Sun shooting out his solar flares. Mars was so off-key with his singing, that it made Neptune's laughter sound good. And Neptune laughed like a sea lion hallucinating and seeing itself as a dog instead of a marine animal. Mars was so off-key that asteroids were actually crumbling in front of the boys, and they weren't even tossing asteroids around! Mars continued to sing like the universe was going to end through the big crunch. "WON'T YOU TAAAAAAKE ME TO...FUuuUnKyTowwn!! WON'T YOU TAKE ME TO—"
"U-Uh, how about we sing a different song?" Mercury nervously suggested, taking away Mars's mic.
The red planet pouted. "Aw, man. Okay, dude. Can I choose a different song, then?" He asked. Mercury nodded.
Mars browsed the digital songbook on the space karaoke machine then pressed some numbers onto the keypad. *0. 0. 1. 8. 7. 4.* The song that popped up on the screen was something called "SOS" by an Earthling band, ABBA. Mercury and Venus's eyes lit up.
"Hey! We know that song!" Venus said excitedly, his rough voice cracking for a brief moment. "Give me that mic!"
"Where are those happy days? They seem so hard to find..." He sang.
"I tried to reach for you, but you have closed your mind," Mercury sang, picking up the other microphone.
"Whatever happened to our love? I wish I understood," Mercury and Venus sang at the same time, looking into each other's graying eyes, from lack of starlight exposure. "It used to be so nice, it used to be so good..."
Mars took a deep breath, taking the other spare mic. Maybe he was aware he sounded bad, because he offered to sing the chorus, or at least join in singing with the two of them:
"So, when you're near me, darling, can't you hear me? S.O.S.
The love you gave me, nothing else can save me, S.O.S.
When you're gone, how can I even try to go on?
When you're gone, though I try, how can I carry on?"
Now, Mercury and Venus singing voices' combined was the most heavenly-sounding thing ever. It was like they were such a good match that even if their voices sounded so different. They were just truly made for each other. Meanwhile, Mars's voice was an obvious third wheel to the dynamic duo's singing, that you could easily tell whose voices was whose apart. At least Mars sounded better here, because he was singing with the other rocky couple, and he didn't want to ruin their singing.
After the whole song ended, the karaoke machine presented a big fat score on the screen. It was a 94%!
"Wooo!!" Mars cheered. "We're so good at singing!"
Mercury and Venus looked at each other, holding back their laughter. They wanted to disagree, but of course they didn't want to hurt their friend's feelings. Plus, Mars was already feeling like a third-wheel enough without Earth by his side.
"Okay! What song should we sing next?" Mars asked excitedly. Mercury and Venus shared another tender look, then smiled back at their friend.
"Why don't you take charge, Mars?" Mercury asked, encouraging him. Venus swatted him.
"Are you crazy?! That guy will destroy the universe if he sang on his own!" The bigger rocky planet whisper-shouted.
"Come on, Venny. Mars is having a lot of fun and not feeling as sad anymore over missing Earth," Mercury whispered back. "We're already making him feel like a third wheel, just because his boyfriend is so far away from us and out of reach."
Venus sighed, then indirectly placed an arm around Mercury, a gesture simulated with his gravity. "Ugh, fine, fine. But the moment that machine erupts into flames we're leaving."
Mercury giggled. "Deal."
Mars was looking through the song catalogue then punched some numbers onto the machine again. *1. 5. 9. 7. 3.* The song started with a pop, bubbly opening with a tropical beat. An Earthling, Katy Perry, was the original singer of "California Gurls." For some reason, Mars suddenly begun singing in a different language that wasn't universal to the one everybody knew.
"Æ, ae, ae, ah, oue eue eee eee ahhh ouiaaaaa..."
Mercury and Venus looked at each other in horror and confusion, wondering if their friend was okay. Was this some secret language Mars and Earth spoke to each other, or did Mars just suddenly lose his mind? Was this what Rogue Planets do?
"Psst..." Mercury nudged his partner. "Is...should we give Mars a moment? He's singing in a weird language."
"Nah, like you said, let him be," Venus chuckled, opening up a can of Kepler-Si soda, a.k.a. KEPSI. "You want some?" He offered, before chugging the whole can.
"No thank you," Mercury politely declined. "I'm more of an OGLA-Cola planet."
Venus shrugged. "Hmph. Suit yourself then," he chugged down the soda in one go, then let out a very loud burp, some sulfur coming out of his surface. "Heh. Excuse me." Mercury playfully rolled his eyes.
Mars continued to sing in some Martian language. Maybe this was the language Earthlings believed alien life spoke on other planets or moons. Well, at least whatever Mars was doing, it was peak entertainment for Mercury and Venus. They watched in awe and laughter as Mars kept singing. Well, it was better than Mars singing English songs off-key.
"AA EEH ouee eei eeh, wouee wee, zoowee hee, puuu uiii!" Whatever that meant.
After the next song ended, Mars would receive praise and applause from his friends, as the screen flashed a big fat...100%! Even the machine itself was impressed by the Martian singing, that it played a very loud congratulations fanfare.
"Huh! I guess you can be a very good singer after all!" Mercury complimented, giggling.
"You better teach us...whatever language that was, Mars," Venus playfully nudged him, then tossed the empty KEPSI can into the vacuum of space. (There were no rubbish bins here.)
"Sure, man, I can teach you both a thing or two," Mars winked. "On one condition."
"What is it?" Mercury and Venus asked at the same time.
"I sing one more song. And you have to sing with me. It's in English, don't worry!" The two planets looked at each other, then nodded at Mars, accepting his request. Mars excitedly then hit buttons one last time on the space karaoke machine. *5. 7. 4. 5. 3.* The song that loaded had a familiar, funky opening. It was called "Uptown Funk" by two Earthlings, Mark Ranson and Bruno Mars. And the other singer even had Mars in his name! It was meant to be! The three planets danced to the opening, laughing whenever they tried to sing "doh, doh doh doh doh doh doh, doh-doh."
There wasn't much of actual singing or hitting high notes in the song other than rap-like lyrics, so Mars took charge once more.
"This hit, that ice cold
Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold
This one for them hood girls
Them good girls
Straight masterpieces
Stylin', wiling
Livin' it up in the city
Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent
Gotta kiss myself I'm so pretty"
Mercury and Venus swayed their planetary bodies in time with the funkiness of the song as Mars kept going.
"I'm too hot!" Mars shouted, and the other two sang "Hot damn!" back. "Call the police and the fireman, I'm too hot!" ("Hot damn!" Merc and Venny said again.) "Like a dragon, wanna retire, man..."
The boys' favorite part of the song then came up. Mars led the group, and Mercury and Venus would respond.
"Girls, hit your hallelujah—" Mars signaled the boys.
"Ooh!" They responded.
"Girls, hit your hallelujah—"
"Ooh!"
"Girls, hit your hallelujah—"
"Ooh!"
"'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you, 'cause uptown funk gon' give it to you, 'cause uptown funk gon' give it to you!" Mars continued, Mercury and Venus spinning around each other excitedly. "Saturday night and we in the spot!"
Mercury and Venus abruptly stopped and grabbed the spare microphones, as all three of them sang, "DON'T BELIEVE ME, JUST WATCH, OW!" The three of them danced altogether, sharing laughter and good, funky music. Despite the rockiness (pun intended) of the (new) situation they were in, Mercury, Venus, and Mars still learned how to have fun and party it out. They may be Rogue Planets now, but they'd always carry a piece of the Solar System memories in their cores.
From afar, a smaller, purplish gray rocky planet watched the energetic trio in the distance.
OGLE-2016-BLG-1928 sighed, looking glum. "I wish I could be a part of your group..." He muttered softly, before going back to doing his business.
The End