Chapter Text
Being the general’s secretary was not what I imagined myself doing on the Finalizer. I was good shot, a talented pilot and a scientist. I dreamed of getting a position in Science Departament, maybe even running it myself someday. Instead, all I got to do was dealing with whiny soldiers who demanded general’s attention immidiately, doing the job Hux felt himself above doing on his own and of course, being his personal punching bag when things went awry.
Well, he never actually hit me. But he liked to shout at me, give me additional work and sometimes throw something in my general direction. I took it all with as much patience as one can expect. The frustration, however, was getting to me these days and I couldn’t help but wonder when I will finally snap and tell Hux what I think genuinely about him.
Seeing none other than Kylo Ren entering my office, I knew this day would come sooner than I’d desire. I had no will to end up in air lock, but perhaps, it’d be much preferable over putting up with both of my superiors throwing tantrums and their aftermath.
I barely held back a pained groan when Commander Ren turned towards me.
“Is the general in his office?” he asked, mask strangely modulating his voice. Surprisingly, Ren never gave me that much trouble and he seemed to actually tolerate my presence, unlike Hux who always looked like he interacted with me only out of absolute necessity. Master Ren, however, did nothing that could put me in trouble nor unleashed his anger on me. I appreciated that, knowing he was very prone to his fits of rage and destruction.
“He is. I will check if he’s busy.” I replied, politely. Ren only gave me a single nod as I approached the door. I knocked gently.
“Come in.” came curt reply. I opened the door and stuck my head in my boss’ office.
“Master Ren is here and would like to speak with you. May I let him in?” I asked. The deadly glare I received sent a cold shiver of fear down my spine, even though I was aware it is not me his anger was directed at.
“Send him in,” he barked, looking back to his holopad. A small sigh passed my lips as I turned back to Ren.
“You may come in, Commander.” I said, stepping aside. I wasn’t graced with an answer and was left alone in my office. I sat by my desk and soon the silence was filled with angry shouts coming from the other room. I didn’t listen what they were arguing about this time. It was none of my business and their fights grew kind of boring by almost two years of listening to them on daily basis. I focused on my work instead, knowing that Hux would be most displeased if I was falling behind the tight schedule het set for me.
“(Y/n), come to my office. Now.” the general barked an order, suddenly appearing in the door. I gulped and scurried in. So, I was in trouble but I had yet to hear why.
“Yes, sir?” I asked, quietly, standing between Hux and Ren. The tension was palpable and I felt like I’m going to faint any second now. The general’s blue eyes bore into me and I felt like he’s seeing right through me and reading my every single thought, even though it wasn’t him with mind reading abilities.
“Master Ren said...” the general started, spitting out the other’s name like it’s a curse. “...that you think he is better as your superior than I am. Is this true?”
The look on my face must’ve been hilarious. Really? This time they were going to ask their subordinates whom they like better?
Maker, they were worse than children sometimes. It was amazing they were able to run the First Order, really.
“Go ahead, tell him what you think.” Kylo chimed in, his voice quiet and definitely amused, but it was undoubtly an order as well.
“May I speak freely, general?” I inquired. Hux gave a single nod. Cold glare was still focused on me and I was so scared I struggled to make proper sentences.
“I am your secretary. I am loyal and hard-working. I would never dare to think of choosing between my superiors or waste my time wondering whom I like better...” I started, slowly. “...Still, to be fairly honest, Commander Ren has never caused me trouble. He never disrespected me. Never attempted to intimidate me. Never gave me more duties than I am able to handle. I have heard stories of what he’s capable of, but it never applied to me. With you, general, I feel like a punching bag. You take your frustration out on me. I try to be understanding and patient. I know you’re very busy man and you carry a lot weight on your shoulders, being our leader and commanding entire army, but I have my limits as well and I find myself slowly reaching them.”
“Would you prefer to be transferred and work for Master Ren instead?” the general asked in tight voice. Oh, he was furious...
“So touchy, Hux...” Kylo Ren commented, slowly moving towards me and standing behind me. “All she said was that she sees you as more of an asshole than me and it was us who asked for her opinion.”
The general’s eyes narrowed in anger, because that was the truth he couldn’t argue with. He couldn’t punish me for fulfilling orders. It didn’t change the fact he was going to more than likely demote me and torment me until the end of my days for my disloyalty.
“I think since we started this discussion, you may as well continue..." he taunted. His eyes darkened in rage and now I was more scared than ever before. "Come on, lieutenant (y/n). Say all that you think of me.”
Well, I was a dead woman anyway, so I could as well do as he asked.
“I think you’re maginificent leader. Brave, smart, daring... Not to mention the obvious fact you’re handsome.”
I noticed a small blush dusting his cheeks. His anger quelled a little, too. I almost smirked at the sight of my boss so easily tamed with praise, but I was not going to go soft on him. If he wanted to hear it all, then he would.
“But you’re also cold, demanding and prone to anger. You disrespect and belittle me, even though I never cause trouble and fulfill your orders to the letter. You demand respect, and yet you respect no one in return. You constantly abuse me and torment me when something does not go according to your plan. No matter what I do, you are, as Commander Ren colorfully put it, an asshole to me and you like making me miserable. I can’t help but wonder if you hate me.”
“Dismissed.” he finally said and I hurried out of the room, knowing better than to antagonise him. Kylo Ren followed me soon after.
“Don’t worry, he won’t fire you.” he said, seeing my solemn expression.
"No...” I agreed. “He’s going to do much worse than that.”
The Commander only laughed and didn’t deny.