Chapter Text
It was killing him, seeing her like this, scared and intimidated, wanting something for herself that seemed like such a given for him, but realizing, had been taken from her by someone like him. He wanted to help her, he wanted to make things better for her. He wanted to give her what she wanted, but not under the circumstances that would make her feel anxiety like this.
“I do have another idea… I mean, if you’re willing to hear it…” he offered calmly.
“Yeah… ok, sure…” she replied with a shaky voice.
He hesitated for a second, not sure if he should even propose this.
“Instead of you, you know… being pinned down beneath a guy three times your weight and height… which, honestly, sounds like a terrifying situation, even in the best of circumstances…” they both chuckled a bit.
“… How about we lower the stakes for you a bit more even, just like, slow things down several notches and I just… you know, like… touch you?”
Her heart skipped a beat.
“I will stay off the bed, the bed is your space and you can retreat anytime and tell me to stop, the second you, you know.… zoom out… again.” Garret made a zooming gesture with his left hand and touched the the tip of her foot with his right one, trying to comfort her in the absolute least aggressive and least invasive way possible. Just to create the smallest physical connection at this time.
Hannah was looking at him, tears still slightly dwelling in her eyes, listening to his idea. When she felt his hand touching her toes, her eyes dropped to his hand. It had only been a minute, but she missed his touch already, which was odd, since this was all just “transactional, a means to an end, with a friend”, right???
She looked back up at him, suddenly more insecure than before “o..ok”.
“Ok?” Garrett confirmed softly.
“Yeah…” she nodded.
Garrett slid off the bed kneeling before it, making himself as small as he could, being as tall as he was.
“Come here” his voice sounding a lot more sultry than he had anticipated.
Hanna felt her body already reacting to his low voice, more so than she had before. She slowly scooted along the bed until her legs dropped down in front of him. She suddenly felt more exposed than before. As much as he was trying to make himself small in front of her, they were still eye level, with him kneeling in front of her. So, he lowered himself down even more to rest on his feet.
Garrett watched her hands shaking, while attempting to take off her shirt. He could tell she was nervous about it.
“You… you don’t have to take it off. If you feel safer with it on, don’t take it off, leave it on.”
She dropped her hands to her sides letting go of her shirt. She really did want to leave it on for now.
They just sat there for a moment, in the dark room, the silence heavy between them. He looked up at her and their eyes met.
“All good so far?” He tried to lighten the mood.
“Yeah…” she smiled and exhaled nervously.
“Ok” he said quietly, trying to calm his own nerves down, because who was he even kidding, he was nervous as hell, as well. He could tell himself that this was just a friend helping a friend to orgasm all he wanted, it didn’t make it true. He was already in love with her and he knew it. He also knew that he could not fuck this up, he could not do anything wrong and make her more afraid of situations like these, as she already was. He would never forgive himself, if he did.
A second later, Hannah felt the tips of his fingers graze her knees, ever so slightly, slowly working their way to make full contact with her skin.
His hands are ginormous. How did she never notice this before? Had they suddenly doubled in size? Who has giant hands like this???
She could feel goosebumps spreading from where his hands touched her skin, throughout her whole body.
He noticed.
“This still ok?” he whispered and she nodded “yes”.
He started caressing the spots above her knees, slowly working his way up her thighs. Hannah already felt dizzy, not sure how he could have this affect on her from just touching her knees. She was looking at his face, but when his hands arrived at the hem of his shirt, that she was wearing, her eyes dropped to his hands, watching them disappear underneath. She flinched involuntarily again and his hands stopped dead in their tracks.
“Stop?” He asked quietly?
“No…” She looked at his face “No.”
“Ok, we need to get you to relax and be more comfortable…”
Garret decided to skip “that” area for now and let his hands along the sides of her thighs and up her torso, hoping that focusing on another part of her body would make her relax somehow. His hands slid up further slightly lifting her shirt and caressed the sides of her breasts. She sighed, when his thumbs slid across her nipples in a whisper of a touch.
He placed a soft, quick kiss on her lips and softly squeezed her incredibly supple breasts. She exhaled sharply in response and it put a smile on his face.
Every inch of her skin was soft and warm. His hands traveled down her back to now covering her butt, and slowly working his way back to the front.
“How you holding up?” He flashed a crooked smile at her, again, trying to lighten the mood.
How the fuck did he know exactly what to do and say to make her feel comfortable and safe? She tried to find a smart comeback, but all she could muster was a shaky “I’m ok”, while her stomach felt like it was going to drop out from underneath her.
Without wanting to scare her, he nudged her legs apart as gently as he could, positioning himself more directly between them. He locked eyes with her, looking up at her.
“If it’s ok with you, I am going to, you know… move in… a bit now”.
All she could do is nod, as she felt his hands open up on top of her thighs, his fingertips spanning the outside of her thighs, while his thumbs remained on the insides. She felt his hands slide up and, again, dip below the hemline of her shirt.
He lingered for a few seconds, looking at her face, making sure she was ok, and then it happened: His thumbs touched the rim of her panties and she gasped audibly. He slowed down, but didn’t remove his hands, his thumbs remaining in place, giving her a second to decide what she wanted. He could hear her heartbeat quicken and heat emanating against his hands.
He sat up slightly, so his face was directly in front of hers, and as she locked her eyes with his.
“We still ok here?”
She nodded.
“No zoomies?” He smiled under his breath before he placed a soft kiss on her lips.
She smiled into the kiss and shook her head slightly.
He, ever so lightly, let his thumbs finally touch her most private area. She let out a quick sigh, as her head fell forward, touching her forehead to his.
This was heaven. This is all he ever wanted to do for the rest of his life. Just this. Just having her trust him like this.
His fingers started to curl around the top of her panties, a sudden need to have that last barrier be gone. As if on instinct, she placed her hands behind herself, lifting her butt off of the mattress to aid him in removing her garment. Without missing a beat, they were back in the same position as before, but with the realization that no more barrier existed.
He could feel his own heartbeat picking up as he locked his eyes with hers and looked for any sign of hesitation on her part. He saw none. And then his thumb touched her clit for the first time, slowly circling and applying pressure. She felt electricity jolt through her and her head fell back and she moaned “ohhhh”.
He couldn’t believe this was happening, he couldn’t believe she was letting him do this for her. He could feel his own head starting to spin, his erection raging in his sweat pants. But this wasn’t about him, so he pulled his act together and focused on the task at hand. He needed her to stay focused on him, as well.
“Hanna” he tried to get her attention. He moved his other hand behind her head and lifted himself up to be on eye level with her again. His thumb slid further down sliding between her labia. She was hot and incredibly wet. She gasped again, this time his name escaping her lips her eyes trying to focus on his face “Garrett…”
JFC, she was going to be the death of him.
Her head fell forward towards his again and this time he could not resist placing a kiss on her lips again. She reciprocated, but was clearly disoriented from his fingers moving up and down her opening and circling her clit in the most painstakingly slow pace. She moaned into his mouth.
After a few minutes of steadily increasing the pace, he had expected her to orgasm, but he could tell something was keeping her from reaching that peak. He could hear her panting, but her body was fighting it.
“Hannah”, his voice was raspy. “Move a bit closer…” as he slid her up to the edge of the mattress. “Look at me”. She did.
“Would it be ok, if I use my finger… inside…“
He could feel her whole body tense up for a second, while his thumb was still drawing lazy circles. He could see her trying to process the information.
“Yeah, I think so…” she murmured. Her confidence level not entirely where he’d like it to be.
“You think so?”
Garrett heard her breath catching in her throat, just like earlier, right before she… zoomed out.
“How about we try… like, really slow. You tell me, if you need me to stop… at absolutely any time, ok?”
“Ok” She nodded in very nervous agreement. She really didn’t wan’t to lose her shit again, because she really wanted this. She just had to get her body to stop going into self-protection mode.
“Ok” he nodded back.
As he pulled her even closer to the edge of the bed, she noticed his raging erection in his sweats and he noticed her noticing. He could see panic flicker in her eyes. He cradled her face with his free hand.
“Hey, look at me.” Her attention snapped back up to his face. “Don’t worry about that, that is none of you concern, ok? Just focus on my face.”
He saw the panic leave her eyes, thankfully.
“You ready?”
She nodded again and with that, he slowly slid his middle finger towards her opening watching her face and making sure she was really ok. When his finger slid into her, a whimper escaped her lips.
“Does this feel ok?” He whispered and he saw her close her eyes and lick her lips and moan softly.
“Taking that as a yes…” They both smiled coyly.
It seemed, he had found a rhythm she enjoyed, as her breathing started to get more labored. Her head fell towards his shoulder, trying to steady herself against him.
“Hanna” he breathed into her ear and moved her face back up, so she could focus on him “I am going to add one more finger” as he added his index finger to get better leverage. He kept the rhythm and added his thumb back to her clit, which is when the first “oh my god” left her mouth and she lost focus and averted her eyes again.
“No, Hannah, look at me… stay with me”, as her eyes snapped back to his.
He could still feel her fight her release. He curled his fingers, knowing exactly where the spot inside her was, that would put her over the edge.
“Stop fighting it, Hannah, please”.
Her breathing was getting more and more erratic and her moans louder.
“Hey look at me… I am right here, I will catch you.”
He saw tears starting to well up in her eyes again, her mouth gaping open.
“Please, Hannah, let go. Let go, I’m right here…Please... come for me...” She felt like his voice was reverberating through her whole body, and with that, an orgasm washed over her and she collapsed into him moaning and gasping into the side of his neck holding onto his arms. She could feel his hair tickling the side of her face, his fingers still inside her.
He was riding out the waves, slowing down his movements, as he noticed her pulling away from him and saw her hands move up to cover her face, the sounds of her orgasm turning into whimpers. She scooted away from him, and fell backwards onto her back, pulling her legs up close to her. She was retreating back into the space that he promised was hers alone and he would not intrude into.
FUCK.
“Jesus… fuck… Hannah… “ Now he was panicking, not sure what to do. Did he hurt her? Did he go to far? Did he misread any signs? Did he not hear her say stop?
“Hannah?”
He wasn’t sure what to do. Should he try and comfort her? Should he back away?
“I’m fine” her voice cracked under her breath. She could hear the panic in his voice. She didn’t want him to think he did anything wrong. “I’m just… I got overwhelmed for a second, I’m sorry.”
JFC, was she really apologizing for getting overwhelmed?
Her one arm was laying out next to her, so he put his hand in hers, tentatively. She squeezed it and he took this a sign that it was ok for him to come into her space.
“Hey” he slowly moved up the bed next to her and caressed her arm.
“Hey. Hey, hey…” he managed to get her to move her hand and show her face. He propped himself up on one elbow and touched her face with his free hand.
“First of all, you have nothing to be sorry about.” He comforted her with his low voice. “And also, I want to say thank you for trusting me.” Her eyes softened. Good, she was the most beautiful creature he’d ever laid eyes on.
“No, really, listen, like, this was a huge deal for me! Like maybe even a bigger deal than for you, really…”
She gave him an incredulous look “Are you for real right now?” She tried to keep it together, but fell into laughter, while still wiping tears from her eyes. How did he always know how to say the exact right thing?
He chuckled, as well. Although, while he was trying to create some levity in this situation, he knew deep down that this had just cemented his feeling for her, the ones he’d been trying to be in denial about, and he realized he was not prepared for these feelings at all. He’d never felt them before…
“No, Wellsy, for real though, listen” he said all serious all of a sudden. “Think about it, you did have an orgasm and you did have sex, while reaching said orgasm”.
“No I didn’t, we didn’t…”
“Hanna” he looked her dead in the eyes. “Yes, this was sex. You trusted me enough to let me get this close to you, physically and emotionally, and I am not taking that lightly.” He caressed her cheek staring into her eyes, and for a second he thought he blew his cover “and neither should you.” He added, tapping his finger on her collar bone.
“And honestly, my fingers are probably bigger than my dick anyways, so you totally got the better deal this way…”
She clasped her hand on her mouth and her eyes almost popped out of her face, snort-laughing at him. “Oh, shut up, Graham, I’ve seen you naked!”
“Oh shit, right!” He remembered back to the first time they met, before they actually knew each other. “I guess I didn’t scar you for life after all then, did I?” He wiggled his eye brows at her. She was still laughing. This felt so good, all if it felt so good.
She turned towards him slightly and touched his shoulder. “Thanks”, she said, with a smile forming across her whole face.
“No, no, thank you… that was… thanks”, as he lifted his hand up for a fist bump.
They laughed together and just stared at the ceiling for a second.
“So, what now?” Hannah asked…