Chapter Text
“Em, you have to get up, or we’re going to be late.” The five-year-old girl buries her head under the hotel’s duvet, and Troy sighs. His sister, unfortunately, shares his distaste for mornings, but Troy has learned how to deal with them after years of early hockey practices. He begs, “Please don’t make me drag you out of bed.”
Emma’s voice is muffled by the blankets covering her head. “I don’t want to go.” Each word is said with such conviction that Troy would find it funny coming out of the five-year-old’s mouth if he weren’t so stressed.
They have a 9 AM appointment with the pulmonologist they had moved to Ottawa to see. Troy had taken Em to a pulmonologist in Toronto two months ago, and they recommended that she see Dr. Hao at Ottawa Civic Hospital and put in an urgent referral. Apparently, urgent meant they had to wait two months. During that time, Troy declined to resign with Toronto, requested a trade to the Centaurs, and packed up their stuff to drive five hours to Ottawa.
Troy pulls back the covers until he can see the mess of Em’s blonde hair and her bright blue eyes, which look just like his. She got her hair from her mother. Troy never met his stepmother, as he didn’t know she existed until she was already gone.
Em’s defiance is written on her sleepy face. He softens his voice, knowing that his sister is tired of doctor’s appointments; tired of being sick. “Come on, little bear, our appointment won’t take long, and then we can get a big breakfast afterwards.” He feels guilty about bribing her, but they really need to get out the door.
“I want waffles.”
Troy almost cracks a smile at her serious tone. Everything with Em is a negotiation. He pretends to consider her offer and then says, “We can get waffles.”
She starts crawling out from under the white duvet and adds, “With whipped cream. And strawberries.” Troy digs through Em’s suitcase for a dress. They’ve only been in Ottawa for a few days, and Troy has decided that they will stay at a hotel that is close to the hospital until he can find them a more permanent place to live.
“If you get dressed quickly, I’ll throw in a chocolate milk.” That gets her moving.
Twenty minutes later, they are checking in for her appointment. Troy apologizes to the woman at the front desk for being five minutes late, but she says it's fine and that the doctor is running behind anyway. Troy hands her a disc with all of Em’s scans on it so they can be uploaded before the appointment.
His sister sits on the floor of the waiting room, running her two toy cars back and forth on the seat next to Troy. His focus drifts to the TV, which is playing an episode of Bluey. Troy has watched more cartoons since taking legal guardianship of Em than he had in his entire childhood.
“Emma,” the medical assistant calls out across the waiting room. Troy stands, grabs Em’s backpack that has her waterbottle and a few toys, and guides her through the door. She keeps both cars clutched in her hands. When they reach the medical assistant, she asks, “Can you confirm last name and date of birth?”
Troy says, “Barrett. May 5, 2021.” They follow her to a scale in the hallway, and the MA takes her height and weight before bringing them into an exam room. Em goes back to playing, and Troy takes out his phone to check the time. It’s 9:34, and they are still waiting for the doctor.
Finally, they hear a soft knock, and Troy tells them to come in. A petite Asian woman comes in with a kind smile. Her thick black hair is held up with a brown clip, and she’s wearing a bright green dress under her white coat.
She shakes Troy's hand and says, “Nice to meet you, I’m Dr. Hao.” She turns towards Em and crouches to be at her eye level. “And you must be Emma. I love your dress. I am a big fan of unicorns.”
Em leans into Troy’s leg and softly says, “Thank you.” She is always shy when meeting new people. It took her a few weeks to warm up to Troy when they met back in April in Troy’s lawyer’s office.
Dr. Hao takes a seat, but doesn’t turn to face the computer as most doctors do. She tells Troy, “I read Dr. Henry’s note and looked at her imaging. I agree with his diagnosis of interstitial lung disease, but I want to get more tests to try to find the cause so we can hopefully get it under control.”
Troy thought they had already done every possible test. The past few months have been full of chest X-rays, CTs, a bronchoscopy, and a lung biopsy. They all showed excessive inflammation and scarring of the lungs, leading to the diagnosis of childhood interstitial lung disease, or chILD. The issue is that they don’t know what’s causing it.
Troy says, “Dr. Henry thought that it might be due to an autoimmune condition, but no one could find anything to indicate which one. Do you think that’s what this is?” ILD is a group of lung diseases that can have many causes: genetics, environmental exposures, chemotherapy or other drug therapies, autoimmune conditions, or sometimes there is no known cause.
“I can’t say for certain. We’re still waiting for her genetic testing to come back, but I don’t see anything in her social or medical history that would make me think it was caused by an exposure to something. While we wait for the genetic results, I want to do some more blood work to look for indications of an autoimmune condition, and I would also like to do a cardiac workup.”
Troy’s stomach sinks. “You think there could be something wrong with her heart?” Em crawls into his lap, leaving her cars on the floor. He wraps his arms around her as she nestles her head into his chest. Em hates doctor appointments, often refusing to look at the doctor and barely answering their questions.
“There’s nothing right now to indicate that there is, but I would like to do an echo because sometimes when the lungs aren’t working, the heart works extra hard, which puts excess stress on it. I just want to be cautious.”
Troy hates that they have to do more tests, but he agrees.
Dr. Hao asks to do a physical exam on Em. She listens to her lungs and her heart, frowning when she hears the crackling in both lower lobes. The scarring started at the bottom of both of her lungs and has slowly worked its way up.
Emma had been getting short of breath for months by the time Troy took legal guardianship of her and severed her ties with their father. She has a persistent dry cough that keeps both of them up at night, and has been struggling to gain weight.
The doctor asks Em to take a deep breath in. She fills her lungs and then lets out a rattling cough that makes Troy wince in sympathy.
Dr. Hao asks her, “Would you be ok taking a walk around the clinic with me? Your dad can come if you’d like.”
Troy corrects her, “Brother.” He knows that everyone assumes he’s her dad with their twenty-one-year age gap, but Troy doesn’t want to confuse Em. He’s not her dad, he’s just trying to keep her away from him.
Dr. Hao apologizes. Then she puts a pulse oximeter on Em’s finger and waits for it to light up. Troy can see that her oxygen saturation is only 95%. Dr. Hao leads them on a short walk around the clinic and up a few stairs. Troy holds Em’s hand the whole time, and periodically glances at the pulse oximeter that Dr. Hao is holding. He sees her oxygen saturation drop to 92% before they head back to their exam room.
Dr. Hao tells him that she is going to change the dosage of the steroid Em has been taking for the past few months. Then she lists the different tests she wants done before seeing Em again in a few weeks. They have to get more chest X-rays and a CT on top of blood work and pulmonary function tests.
Troy puts all the new appointments into his phone’s calendar. They are squeezed between meetings with different nannies, his lawyer, and his new coach. Troy is overwhelmed by all the purple blocks filling his calendar. He’s not sure how he’ll have time to train or tour houses on top of everything else.
They go to a diner after the appointment, and Em gets the waffles she was promised, with whipped cream and berries. Troy makes it through three mugs of black coffee by the time she’s done eating. She can’t finish her second waffle as she frequently struggles with her appetite. Troy slides it over and takes the last few bites.
Over the next few weeks, the two of them explore Ottawa in between appointments. Troy finds a nanny, Maria, who is a retired nurse and can accommodate his odd hours. He also finds Avery, who is a graduate student who can act as a backup babysitter.
Troy asks Maria to hang out with Em one afternoon so he can meet with Coach Weibe. Preseason doesn’t start for another month, but Troy asked to meet with the coach so he can explain his situation. Em cries when he leaves, and it almost makes him stay, but then Maria mouths “Go,” and he does.
Their hotel is a fifteen-minute walk from the stadium, but almost a twenty-minute drive from their practice rink, where the meeting is. Troy gets there early because he’s not sure where the coach’s office is, and there will be no one around to help him find it. Luckily, it’s not too far from the door that Weibe texted him the code to.
Troy knocks on the open door.
He met Coach Weibe last season when Toronto played against Ottawa. It had been the young coach’s first season with the team. It’s weird to see the coach out of a suit and dressed in khaki shorts and a white button-up short-sleeve shirt that has navy blue sharks all over it.
Weibe looks up when Troy knocks and says, “Hey, Troy. Come on in. Sorry about the temperature. They don’t really run the AC in the offices during the off-season.” The office is warm, but compared to the humid July air that he just came from, it’s not too bad.
“Hey, Coach.” He takes a seat.
“Welcome to Ottawa. We’re excited to have you. With you and Hollander joining the team this year, I think we’re going to have a great season.” Troy signed with Ottawa two weeks before it was announced that Shane Hollander was leaving Montreal to sign with the Centaurs. Last season was the first time in almost ten years that they had made the playoffs, largely due to Rozanov joining the team, and now they have the two best players in the league.
Troy came here for Em’s specialist, but he really lucked out joining the team right as they were getting good.
“Thanks, Coach. I’m excited to be here, and thanks for meeting with me.” Troy’s not sure how to talk about Em; he’s worried that his coach will be disappointed that Troy is likely going to be distracted this season.
“I wanted to let you know that I recently took legal guardianship of my sister, and she’s pretty sick. That’s why I wanted to come to Ottawa. Her specialist is here, and the next few weeks or maybe even months may be difficult, but I want you to know that I’m going to do everything I can to make sure it doesn’t interfere with my work here.”
Coach Weibe is surprised. He was shocked when the talented right-winger asked to come to Ottawa, but he assumed it was because Rozanov was here. They had offered a contract with a borderline offensive salary because Hollander had already started discussing his trade, and they were close to their salary cap. Barrett had surprised him again by accepting the offer, committing to three years with the team.
“I’m sorry to hear that. How old is she?”
“Five.” Weibe was expecting her to be a teenager. He thinks about his own daughters, who are nine, seven, and four. He can’t imagine his youngest being sick enough to need to move to a different city for a specialist.
Weibe asks, “Do you mind me asking how she is doing?” He wants to ask for her diagnosis, but it seems rude to phrase it that way.
Troy understands his coach’s unasked question and says, “She’s doing ok. She has interstitial lung disease, which basically means her lungs are scarred and inflamed, but they are still trying to find the cause. She takes medication to help slow down the progression, but they can’t stop the scarring from spreading until they find the cause and figure out the right treatment. I’m hoping to get a more specific diagnosis soon so we can start treatment before the season starts.” Troy hopes he isn’t oversharing.
“Don’t worry about the season. Of course, I want you on the roster, but if she needs you, then you can take some time off. This is more important.”
Troy lets out a sigh of relief. He wants to play as much as he can, but he knows away games will be tough, if not impossible. Maria has offered to stay with Emma during away games, but that doesn’t erase his guilt.
Weibe continues, “And I have three daughters, and the youngest is four. So if your sister, what’s her name?” Troy tells him. “If Emma wants to come over for a playdate, I’d love to have you guys over.” Weibe knows how hard it can be for kids to meet new people when they aren’t in school.
Troy already loves his new coach, and they haven’t even talked about hockey. “I’d love that. I mean, she can’t really do anything that would be too exerting, but I think she may be sick of hanging out with just me.” It’s not true; Em hasn’t really shown any desire to meet other kids, and that concerns him.
“Great, text me a time that works for you guys. We’re around for the next two weeks, and then we’re traveling the first week of August.” Troy agrees to reach out in the next day or two.
Troy adds, “Would you mind not mentioning this to anyone else? I’m trying to keep her out of the public eye.” He knows telling his new team is different than announcing it to the public, but he’s not ready for everyone to know or for them to start asking questions. He’s glad that his coach hasn’t asked why Troy took legal guardianship; it’s not something he wants to get into.
“Of course.” Weibe almost says something about how the team would be supportive if Troy told them, but he figures his new right-winger is already handling a lot of changes and doesn’t need to be worrying about telling the team right now.
Troy leaves the meeting feeling lighter. He had been dreading telling his new coach his situation. He didn’t want Weibe to think Troy had misled them when he signed his contract, but he needed his new coach to be aware of his situation in case Troy ever has to leave practice or a game to be with his sister.
Troy stops at the bank, the grocery store, and the pharmacy on his way home, utilizing the time away from Em to rush through the errands. Then he meets Maria and Em at the hotel’s pool, where the two are cooling off.
Troy was worried about her breathing being too labored to swim, but when he gets there, the two of them are in the pool, and Maria is supporting Em as she floats on her back without a life preserver. Troy had also been nervous about Maria taking Em swimming on their first day together, but the retired nurse came with several stellar recommendations from old colleagues, and Troy trusted her instantly because of her warm, motherly demeanor.
Also, the pool has lifeguards.
He sees a wide smile on Em’s face and knows he made the right choice. “Troy!” Em has spotted him, and Troy gets closer to the edge of the pool. “Look, I’m floating!”
“Nice job, little bear.” Troy takes off his sneakers and socks and puts his feet in the cool water. He wishes he had changed into his bathing suit. They are on day three of a heat wave, and he can feel rivulets of sweat dripping down his back.
Em lets out a few coughs, and Maria helps prop her up to make the coughs easier. A parent nearby gives them a dirty look. Troy knows they think she’s sick with something contagious and putting the other kids at risk, and he wishes it were that simple.
“Do you want to see me kick? Maria says it will help me swim.”
Troy cups water into his hand and pours it over his head. His black hair traps heat, and while he usually covers it in the summer with a baseball cap, he didn’t think it was appropriate to wear one to a meeting. The water slides down the back of his neck and soaks the top of his shirt.
He says, “I’d love to see it.” Maria helps flip Em onto her stomach, putting her hands on Em’s ribs to keep her floating. Then Em kicks and blows bubbles into the water.
Troy has seen how energetic most five-year-olds are, and so part of him is sad watching Em kick as hard as she can because she can only do it for ten seconds before she’s too tired to continue. “Wow, look at all the waves you made. Should I get my surfboard?” She lets out a high-pitched laugh that has become Troy’s favorite sound.
Maria hands her to him. He hates how small she feels in his arms. She has been struggling with her weight. The doctors told him that she’s in the 10th percentile and needs to start eating more, or they’ll have to consider a feeding tube. He’s been making sweet smoothies every afternoon, trying to get her to have a full glass between her small meals. There isn’t much he can cook in their kitchenette, but he’s been finding different recipes online that parents of sick kids recommend.
Her body is cool from the water and feels nice pressed against his chest. His clothes get soaked, but he doesn’t care.
“Are you hungry? I can make you a strawberry smoothie. Or a vanilla milkshake?” Maria had texted him that she only had half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and a few grapes.
Em clings tighter to him and speaks directly into Troy’s neck, “I’m tired.” Em is a little old for naps, but she always takes one in the afternoon because her disease causes her to fatigue easily and her cough often wakes her up at night.
He counters, “What about a small snack and then a nap?”
She whines, “No, I’m tired.” He gives in and tells himself that she can eat again when she wakes up. He stands with her still pressed to his chest.
Troy says to Maria, “Thank you for today. I really appreciate it.”
She’s still standing in the pool. “Of course, we had fun together. Do you mind if I hang out here for a little longer? This beats my hot house.” Troy says she’s welcome to stay as long as she wants and offers her food.
“Oh no, don’t worry about me. I’ll come grab my bag in a little bit.” Troy says he’ll see her later and brings Em upstairs.
He manages to get her out of her bathing suit and into a simple cotton dress. She’s too tired to bathe, so Troy lets her climb into bed with chlorine and sunscreen sticking to her skin and decides that they’ll do a bath before dinner. The hotel can change the sheets tomorrow anyway.
Troy makes himself a quick lunch and then does a workout in their cramped living room. He’s fallen behind on his summer training schedule. He hasn’t gone for a run in months, and his workouts have been limited to what he can do without equipment while Em sleeps.
For the rest of the week, they go to the hospital twice for tests, and they go to the closest kindergarten to get Em signed up for the fall. Troy has to explain her condition to the administrator, telling them that she can’t exert herself too much and that she may require extra assistance from the teacher. He signs her up for half days so she’ll go in the morning, and then she can be home in the afternoon to nap.
Troy doesn’t reach out to Coach Weibe until Friday, setting up a weekend playdate.
The heat wave has finally broken, and scattered thunderstorms are expected for the next few days. Weibe invites them over to his house, which is located on the outskirts of the city.
Troy helps Em out of her car seat, and then they walk hand-in-hand to the front door. The rain is starting to come down harder, and so they duck under an umbrella.
Coach Weibe’s wife, Jill, meets them there. Troy can hear her daughters talking loudly in a different room. Em clings to his leg as Jill crouches down to introduce herself. Em whispers, “Nice to meet you,” and it's barely loud enough to hear over the kids’ voices.
Jill asks how old Em is, and she holds up four fingers and says, “five.” Troy reaches down and puts up her thumb so she is holding up the correct number of fingers. Jill says, “You have the most gorgeous blue eyes.”
Em says, “Thank you. We got them from our daddy.” Troy’s stomach lurches at the thought of Curtis. She’s right that they both got their eyes from him, but that’s about all they have in common.
Jill brings them into the kitchen where the girls are finishing up their grilled cheeses. She asks if either of them wants one, but Troy tells her that they had lunch before they came. Coach Weibe is sitting at the table with his daughters, sandwiched between the older two. “Hey, Troy. This is Victoria, Delilah, and Abby.” He introduces his daughters from oldest to youngest.
Troy greets them as Em continues to cling to him. “Hey guys, I’m Troy, and this is my sister, Emma.” She tightens her hold.
The oldest, Victoria, says, “Hi, Emma!” Delilah repeats what her older sister says.
Em shyly says, “Hi.”
Coach Weibe says, “We were thinking of doing a craft. We have a new tablecloth for the craft table that is a boring white. I was hoping you artists could make it colorful with some drawings. Does that sound like something you’d be interested in, Emma?”
She nods her head. Weibe had texted Troy the idea when they set up the playdate two days ago. Troy told his new coach that Emma couldn’t use paint or scented markers because the fumes bothered her, but that she loved to color.
Delilah stands up and says, “We do crafts in the basement, come on!” Victoria and Abby start to follow her, but Em doesn’t move.
Troy kneels down and quietly says, “Do you want me to come with you?” Em says yes. Troy asks the girls, “Is it ok if I join? I’d love to see your craft room.”
Delilah, the most energetic of the three, yells, “Yes!” And then starts telling him about all the craft supplies they have. Troy follows them to the basement, and Coach Weibe is right behind him. The coach gets the markers and takes the new tablecloth out of the packaging. Drawings and paintings cover the basement walls, hung above the shelves that hold the craft supplies and toys.
Em climbs into Troy’s lap when he takes a seat at the craft table. Victoria asks, “What’s your favorite color?” as she digs through the marker bin.
“Blue.”
“Me too!” Em smiles at Victoria’s delight. The older girl hands Em a royal blue marker. Em hesitates, not knowing what to draw. She sees Abby start to scribble as Victoria starts drawing a rainbow that is a little crooked, but the colors are in the right order. Em starts to scribble overlapping circles.
Troy watches as his sister gets more comfortable. The girls carry the conversation, and Victoria and Delilah are good about asking Em easy questions. Eventually, Abby starts talking to Em, but it’s obvious to Troy that the four-year-old is also shy.
Emma sticks her tongue out as she uses the blue marker to draw a blue oval that Troy guesses is supposed to be the hotel pool. Once he can tell she’s ok, he asks, “Hey, I have to run to the bathroom. Are you going to be ok?” She nods as she keeps drawing.
Troy doesn’t have to use the bathroom, but he heads upstairs to the kitchen where the Weibes are. Jill is doing the dishes, and his coach cleans the crumbs off the table. His coach looks up when he sees the basement door open and asks, “How’s everything going down there? Do I need to repaint my walls?”
“I can report that no markers have left the craft table, but I cannot promise it will stay that way.” Weibe laughs. Troy feels awkward standing in their kitchen with nothing to do.
Jill says, “Emma is so sweet. How are you guys settling in Ottawa?” She gets Troy a glass of water and puts it on the kitchen island for him. He thanks her and takes a seat at the barstool, grateful to have something to occupy his hands.
“It’s been good. Mostly dealing with appointments, though. I got her signed up for school this week, and she had a few doctor’s appointments. I still need to find a more permanent place for us to live, but for now, it works being so close to the hospital and the stadium.”
“My friend is a realtor. Do you want her name? She’d be happy to help.” Troy tells her that that’d would be great. “And how’s she feeling? I hope you don’t mind that Brandon told me about her health issues.”
Troy doesn’t mind at all. “She’s ok. It’s hard to get her to eat, and she’s tired all the time, but her breathing has been ok. It’s frustrating to have to repeat a bunch of the tests for her new doctor, but hopefully she can figure out what’s going on and we can start her on a new treatment before the school year.”
Jill asks him about school and childcare. She offers to babysit in case Maria or Avery are ever not available, and gives him her phone number. Coach Weibe talks to him about hockey, telling Troy about some of the changes he’s planning for the season.
Troy finds that it’s nice to talk with adults. Emma has been the only constant in his life since his season in Toronto ended in April.
They move into the living room. Troy sneakily checks on Em, but leaves her be when he sees her laughing with the other girls. The adults chat for a while until the girls come up from the basement. The Weibe girls are looking for their afternoon snack, and Troy realizes that this is the time when Em usually naps.
His sister comes over to him and climbs into his lap. He whispers in her ear, “Are you getting tired?” She nods into his chest. “Ok, we can head home. Can you thank Mrs. and Mr. Weibe and say goodbye to the girls?”
Emma climbs out of his lap and goes over to Jill, who is standing closer to the kitchen. Jill leans down when she sees Emma coming, and Troy’s heart swells when he sees his sister give the woman she just met a hug and thanks her. She’s more timid around men, so she doesn’t hug Coach Weibe, but she thanks him and then says goodbye to the girls.
Abby asks, “Will you come over and play again?” Em says she will.
The rain has slowed, so Troy doesn’t bother opening the umbrella. He carries Em to the car and straps her into her car seat as he asks, “Did you have fun?”
“Mhmm.” Her eyes are already drooping, and Troy knows she’ll be asleep by the time they hit the main road. He gives her seatbelt a little tug to make sure it’s secure and then kisses her forehead.
-
Em’s cough gets worse over the next few days. By the fifth day, she spikes a fever, and Troy calls the pediatrician Dr. Hao had recommended to him. He brings her into the office and puts a mask on her so she won’t spread whatever she has. Troy assumes she picked up some germs at the Weibe’s house and hopes that it’s a simple cold.
The medical assistant frowns as she does Em’s vital signs. Emma is so exhausted that she doesn’t touch her toys, instead staying in Troy’s arms. He can feel how warm she is and feels the coughs rattle her frame.
He had stayed up most of the night listening to her cough, wondering each time if he should bring her to the ER.
Dr. Schwab comes in shortly after the MA leaves them. She smiles at both of them and introduces herself, and asks, “How are you feeling, Emma?”
Em lets out two more wet coughs into her mask, but doesn’t answer the question. Her eyes are fluttering, and Troy thinks that no five-year-old should look this tired. He says, “Em?” but she still doesn’t answer, and his dread worsens.
Dr. Schwab’s mouth presses into a straight line, and Troy knows that this is worse than a simple cold. The doctor says, “Her temperature is high, but not high enough to make me concerned. What worries me is that her oxygen saturation is only 92%, and her heart rate and blood pressure are elevated. I spoke with Dr. Hao, and we both think she should be admitted for monitoring in case she needs some supplemental oxygen.”
Troy hadn’t packed bags for either of them. He holds her a little tighter as he says, “Ok.”
“We’ll do rapid tests for COVID, flu, and strep. Once she’s admitted, they’ll likely order some blood work and a chest X-ray or CT to make sure her lungs look the same as the scans from last week.”
Troy says he understands, and the doctor leaves.
A nurse comes in to swab Em’s throat, and she gags on the cotton swab as the nurse says, “I’m sorry, sweetie. You are doing so well.” Tears gather in Em’s eyes, but she doesn’t let out a cry, and that’s somehow worse to see.
The tests come back negative. Troy walks her over to the emergency department because all patients have to be admitted through the ER unless they are having surgery. Dr. Schwabb had called over, so they are taken to the pediatric ward right away.
Troy helps her change into a hospital gown, hating how skinny she looks. He had noticed that despite Abby being a year younger than Em, the two girls were the same size. He says, “Look, it has unicorns on it,” but Em is too tired to reply.
They don’t let Troy join her for the scans, so he waits by himself in her hospital room. He texts Maria because she was supposed to come over tomorrow. Maria won’t start a regular schedule with them until Troy’s season starts, but he’s been using her periodically so he can run errands and also so Em gets more used to her.
Maria texts back, “Hope she feels better soon! Please let me know if you guys need anything.” Then she adds a few hearts.
Troy stares at his phone, not knowing what else to do. The only people he knows in the city besides Maria and Avery are the Weibes, who are currently on vacation. He doesn’t want to bother them.
Emma is brought back to the room thirty minutes later. Troy slips his phone into his pocket and says, “Hey, little bear. How are you feeling?”
She looks so tiny in the hospital bed. “Not good.” She whines, “I want to go home.” His heart breaks for her. It’s not fair for her to be so sick, or for home to be a hotel room, or for Troy to be her guardian. She should be with her mother, who died of breast cancer just over a year ago, or with a father who can actually love her.
“I know, and I’m sorry. But the doctors are going to work really hard to get you feeling better.”
Troy wishes he had something to offer her to make her feel better. He had considered asking Maria to bring some of Em’s stuff from the hotel room, but figured that was overstepping. He’ll run home tonight when Em is asleep.
Emma falls asleep soon after that.
Troy kills time on his phone until the battery is almost dead. Then he closes his eyes and tips his head back. He knows he can’t sleep in the chair, but a wave of exhaustion is hitting him, and he has a headache building up behind his eyes.
Troy hears the door open, and a woman a couple of years older than him comes in wearing blue scrubs and a white coat. Troy stands to shake her hand. She says, “Hi, I’m Dr. Hayes. I’m one of the pediatric pulmonologists on the floor. I’ll be overseeing Emma’s care while she’s here, but I’ll be keeping Dr. Hao in the loop. She’ll probably stop by tomorrow to see how things are going.”
Troy says, “Thank you. I’m Troy, her brother.”
She gives him a kind smile. “I know who you are. My husband plays for the Centaurs as well.” It doesn’t take him long to put together that her husband is Wyatt Hayes, his former teammate for Toronto and now current teammate on the Centaurs. Troy hadn’t been kind to the goalie in Toronto, largely ignoring him because Wyatt never got any playing time anyway.
Troy had barely spoken to any of his Toronto teammates during his five years with the team. Everyone thought he was an arrogant asshole because he rarely went out with them, but Troy was just introverted. He hates group outings and finds it difficult to connect with people. He’s hoping to change that on his new team.
He’s hoping Wyatt will give him a second chance.
Dr. Hayes must see the fear on his face because she says, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him that you’re here or anything about Emma. Even if it were allowed, I respect your privacy.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course. Now, I was looking at Emma’s scans, and there is some haziness on her X-ray. I think she’s fighting off an infection that has gotten to her lungs. We’re going to start her on antibiotics and give her some supplemental oxygen so her lungs are not working as hard. We’ll keep her steroid dose the same and keep her on a steady dosage of Tylenol to help with the fever. And we’ll likely repeat imaging every few days. Do you have any questions?”
“No, thank you.”
He feels out of his depth. Besides a few hockey injuries that were easily fixed, he’s never really spent time in the hospital. And now he’s twenty-six years old and has a sick five-year-old, whom he’s only known for a few months, to take care of.
Dr. Hayes tries to comfort him. “We’ll take good care of her. Just sit with her and let us handle the rest. I can have a nurse bring in a cot for you if you want to stay the night.”
“Yes, please.” Troy will have to make a quick stop at home to grab a few things, but other than that, he isn’t leaving her side. He thanks Dr. Hayes again.
Then Troy does as the doctor ordered and sits by his sister’s side, her hand clutched in his as she takes raspy breaths.