Chapter Text
The reconstructed pillow fort was an unexpected refuge for Pomni. After everything she'd been through, after everything Jax had been through, it struck her as odd that the pillows and blankets of assorted colors containing her abstracted companion could be anything other than a heavy reminder of her guilt. Of how she had failed him.
'He had tried to reach out… He was right there, why didn't I-'
It was always difficult, the memory of the last time they spoke. How he had come to her, how she was so excited to talk to him, and how crestfallen she was when he followed the same beaten down path he always did.
Dismissed it. Turned away. Left her.
There was nothing in that moment to indicate it was anything different from the many other times he'd approached her before. Always the same path, the same tired routine. He'd open the door and, just as soon as Pomni turned to welcome him inside, Jax would slam it back shut. So she hadn't chased him, she'd learned long ago that it didn't work- that it just made him angrier, push back harder.
Would it have been different that day? If she had gotten up to follow him, would he have accepted her help? Logic told her that, no, he probably would have reacted just as poorly as he had the dozen or so times she had tried. Even so, it was hard not to think about the what-ifs.
It didn't help to dwell on the past. Pomni knew better, had discussed everything with Ragatha for long enough that she knew she couldn't continue blaming herself. Sometimes you can do everything in the world to save someone, but they have to choose to accept that support.
She shook the thoughts from her head, gazing upon the collection of bedding.
As far as she was aware, none of the others knew she had been coming here alone- sneaking out of her room late at night like a rebellious teenager. It wasn't necessarily on purpose, that first time when her sleep deprived state dragged her out of bed to wander the halls after a particularly vivid nightmare.
Jax had been falling again, always just out of reach of her grasping hand, their fingers brushing momentarily before his fist clenched and he gave her that sickening smile and-
Pomni paused in her tracks, breath hitching at the memory, and consciously told herself to calm down. Focus.
But on that night, she could barely see where her stumbling feet were taking her, blinded by the tears in her eyes as she mourned her, what, friend? She thought they were something more than that, whispered tenderness exchanged between them late into the night, soft touches reminding themselves what it felt like to feel alive, to feel human, to feel loved.
The rumbling from within the fort couldn't break through the barrier in her mind and, soon enough, she had found herself bathed in ever-shifting colors, staring wide eyed and terrified at the abstraction before her.
"Jax?" Pomni had whispered, quiet as she could manage. None of them had been alone with him before and the very real danger she was exposing herself to was starting to hit. But her feet didn't move and the hypnotizing shift of hues kept her mesmerized. She wet her mouth before shuffling forward an inch. "It-it's me…"
A tentative hand reached forward as every alarm bell, every siren of self-preservation within her screamed NO NO NO. Dozens of eyes watched with detached curiosity, waiting-
When her hand pressed against the fracturing surface, every set of eyes closed and Jax leaned forward into her touch. A fresh set of tears began streaking down her face as Pomni hiccuped, choking back the sobs that threatened to wrack her body.
It had been such an intimate moment, so special and uniquely hers, that she hesitated to share it with the others. It wasn't like they hadn't also gone to see him, spending time with their friend - just sitting near him, talking to him. They all silently hoped that they could slowly break down some theorhetical wall he was hidden behind and he'd return to his regular self, dusting his hands off with a lackadaisical smile and a sarcastic "aw, were you all worried about lil' ol' me?"
But that moment of contact between them was hers and hers alone. The privilege of seeing him in private, of that sense of physical comfort that slowly grew the more time she spent there late at night.
A sad smile crossed her face as she approached the flap of the makeshift enclosure.
"Hey, Jax. Thought I'd come see you tonight." Pomni stepped through, drawing a blanket across the threshold to keep the light out. "Sorry I missed you yesterday, Kinger kept me pretty busy."
The abstracted form of Jax was curled upon the floor, watching her entry silently- but she could still tell. The way the rigid, fragmenting edges of his surface softened, the way the hue-shift in his eyes slowed - she'd learned over time to read his behaviors. Jax was happy to see her.
Or, if nothing else, at least not bothered with her presence.
But Pomni chose to see it as being happy to see her.
She gave him a bright smile and pointed to a spot on the floor.
"Mind if I sit?"
Abstractions be damned, she was still going to offer politeness.
A distorted murmur was all the answer she needed and she settled down next to him.
Murmurs were yes, static was no. A language she was doing everything in her power to understand.
Pomni let out a heavy sigh, closing her eyes and tilting her head skyward. The two stayed like that for awhile, soft crackling coming from Jax's form matching the rhythm of her breath.
A quiet grumbling and suddenly there was pressure on her lap. Pomni's eyes flew open to look down, only to find that all of Jax's eyes were closed as he rested his head against her. A sense of warmth filled her, unbelievable and tentative joy at the gesture.
"I- this is nice…" she trailed off, cocking her head at the jumbled agreement emanating from Jax. "Is it- can I-"
A few eyes peaked open, watching suspiciously as she brought the flat of her hand down gently on his head and started stroking along the shifting, inky blackness. Those eyes quickly closed again, a contented huff before a noise that Pomni could have almost mistaken as purring picked up.
Her eyes drifted shut again, letting herself relish the moment.
"I miss you, you know." A timid whisper as Pomni scrunched up her face. It was easier to talk to him now, but the memory of bruises long since faded still remained.
"I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm really glad I still get to spend this time with you, just-" she took a deep breath, taking the time to actually think about what she was saying. "I know you'll probably hate me saying this, but I- I'm just so sorry, Jax. I should have- I-"
She was tearing up again, of course she was. Pomni did everything she could to avoid such strong shows of emotion in front of Jax, but goddamn it was hard sometimes. One of those tears dripped from her face, landing below onto the turbulent seas of Jax's form.
An eye snapped open, pupil narrow and trembling as it looked up at her.
Crackling static grew in volume as more and more eyes opened, each one focusing on her intensely. Pomni stopped talking abruptly, pulling her hand away and leaning backwards to give him space. But he was so heavy and there was no way she could get up to leave him be or, god forbid, escape so she sat there, trapped. A monster's head crushing into her lap, forcing her in place.
"J-Jax?" Icy terror shot through her veins as the reality of her position started sinking in. If he became agitated… sure, Caine had been able to fix their glitching before, but-
The static became almost deafening, although Pomni wasn't sure if it was because of an increase in volume or if it was simply that his head had started moving closer to hers and he was practically screaming in her face. God, he looked angry…
She closed her eyes in anticipation, tensed for the violent bashing she was about to experience; she remembered the way Kaufmo had thrown Ragatha around like a - well, like a doll - and she wasn't looking forward to living through the same pain.
But instead of a forceful grip throwing her out of the tent, there was a cool feeling against her forehead. When she risked a glance, Jax's eyes were narrowed as he pressed his head against hers. It almost looked as though he was…
Was he annoyed?
Pomni reached up, framing her best approximation of his face with her hands, a soft chuckle escaping her lips.
"Sorry?"
The static immediately dipped in pitch, more of a grouchy acquiescence than anything else. Pomni couldn't help but roll her eyes fondly. Even now, after all that they had been through- god forbid she show emotion at his sake.
The bright light across her face dimmed as his eyes fell closed yet again before he pulled back the smallest bit - no more than an inch - before pressing against her for a short moment. Pomni quelled the fresh set of tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as flashes of previous moments they had shared ran through her mind. When Jax would cup her cheek, fix her with a glare that held no heat, and press his lips against her forehead briefly before telling her she was being ridiculous.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm being dumb." Pomni made a choked sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and she hoped she played it off well enough as something humorous. When shifting colors failed to illuminate her face, she assumed she had done a good enough job.
Jax bopped his head against her once more before curling back up with his head in her lap. Idly, she stroked along his neck and hoped that somewhere deep within him the memories of her giving comfort came forward. That whatever she was doing felt safe and comfortable.
She never expected that the gentle white noise of his existence would be soothing enough that she'd fall asleep. The next morning when the enclosure was briefly doused in the brightness of the tent outside and a shocked Kinger stood beside an equally baffled Caine, Pomni felt like she had been caught doing something that was forbidden.
No one else had noticed the slow changes in Jax. Pomni kept waiting for someone to mention it, maybe just a simple question regarding his appearance, but no one brought it up.
And it made Pomni feel insane.
It wouldn't be the first time one of them had perceived something that wasn't there- an unfortunate side effect from living in a digital world; "Digital hallucinations -" as much as Caine had used the excuse to cover up the beginnings of his ill-fated 'Escape the Circus' adventure - were a real thing that occasionally happened. Similar to a mirage in a desert, sometimes they'd see what they wanted. Sometimes they conjured things by accident only for them to vanish in an instant.
But this felt different. She could have sworn there was more definition to his form- his neck thinning out and becoming distinct from his head, the way that - if she squinted - it almost looked like small protrusions on his head were forming ears. It felt real, Pomni wanted it to be real, but ultimately…
Ultimately, she didn't know if she trusted herself. The others were already worried, walking on eggshells around her ever since Caine and Kinger found her asleep in the fort. They all assumed she was next, that the grief of losing Jax was finally breaking her and that she was moments from abstraction herself. So, she reasoned, asking them if he seemed more… himself lately felt like admitting that something was horribly, terribly wrong with her.
Even worse, they had all not-so-subtly taken to shifts of watching her. The first few times seemed like coincidence; Ragatha running into her on her way to the atrium, Gangle asking her for help when she left her room late at night. Over time though, it became more clear. Though she wasn't sure how, Pomni knew that there was some kind of system they were using to keep an eye on her. The very fact that they were not only tracking her like an animal, but also trying to hide it pissed her off immensely.
But it was simple and, while she hated it, she could understand the reasoning. After all, maybe if someone had been keeping a closer eye on Jax…
It was still aggravating not being trusted. She worked to whittle down everyone's fears, but it was hard when they were always joining her in Jax's tent. Their concerns were two-fold, of course they didn't want Pomni to abstract, but she couldn't deny that part of their concern was also Jax's own behavior. And it certainly wasn't comforting to see how he behaved when there were multiple guests in his hideaway.
Long past the days of rampaging and running around, most everyone else was still some level of terrified being around the abstraction. The growls and clicks he'd make weren't necessarily soothing and none of them had been able to witness him the way Pomni had, when he was softer, gentle. When he would let her touch him and comfort him.
So in that laid the other issue. Trying to convince them to let her into the enclosure alone. Ultimately, Kinger came up with the compromise. That she'd be allowed within the confines on her own, but they would wait just at the entrance in case something went wrong.
It had helped, Jax had been slightly more receptive towards her when no one else was there. But he could still hear them; those protrusions on his head - had they been getting longer? - would flicker in the direction of the tent's flap, staticky growls whenever her wardens shifted or asked how things were going.
But then something truly amazing happened.
Pomni was sitting next to him, just chatting about nothing in particular- little facts about her life before the Circus. Gangle sat just outside, sketchbook in hand, waiting for Pomni to be ready to leave. And Jax was murmuring, the sound of it rumbling through her body.
The abstracted Jax - she could have sworn there were two distinct eyes on his head now, where they should be - got up from his resting place and sat directly across from her, staring. Harsh, jagged edges softened as she looked at him, confused.
"Jax? You okay?"
One by one, the biggest source of light in the tent faded as each of his eyes snapped shut. Another murmur from him, interrupted by static. His eyes flashed open in frustration, each pupil fixed on a space on the floor between them. Pomni watched, frozen, waiting to see what was going on. The hulking form of liquid obsidian expanded and retracted like a heavy sigh and his eyes shut again.
"̜͇̫̹̞͜͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉̜͇͜͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉̜͇̫̹͜͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉a͏́͏͖͍̞̥a͏́͏͖͍̞̥a͏́͏͖͍̞̥̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̧̟̲̰̣̼̘̱̰̥͟͜͠m̵̧̯͖̺̥
Another crackle of static.
"̷̜͇̫̹̞͜͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉̜͇̫͜͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉̜͇̫͜͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉̜͇̫͜͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉̜͇̫͜͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉̜͇̫͜͞p̛̛̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉ͅo̧͈̙̦̰̣̼̘̱̰̥͟͜m̵̧̧̯͖̺̥̰̣̼̘̱̰̥͟͜m̵̧̧̯͖̺̥̰̣̼̘̱̰̥͟͜m̵̧̯͖̺̥̖̹̦̙͝͞n̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩̖̹̦̙͢͝͞n̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩̖̹̦̙͢͝͞n̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩̖̹̦̙͢͝͞ń̴̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩̯̘̮̯̲͢͢u̧̢̖̞̝̖̤̥̱̳̝̙̲̰͚͝͝h̢̟̲̖̹̦̙͠͝͞ń̴̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩̯̘̮̯̲͈̙͢͢u̧̢̖̞̝̖̤̥̱̳̝̙̲͝͝h̢̟̲̖̹̦̙͠͝͞n̴̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩͢͢u̧̢̖̞̝̖̤̥̱̳̝̙̲̰͝͝h̢̟̲̖̹̦̙͠͝͞n̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩̖̹̦̙͢͝͞n̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩̖̹̦̙͢͝͞n̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩̖̹̦̙͢͝͞n̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩͢"
Lightning ran through her spine as her eyes widened. She felt the way her mouth hung agape, but couldn't bring herself to care. Her voice wavered as she spoke, quiet as could be.
"Jax?"
"̷̜͇̫̹̞͜͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉̜͇̫̹͜͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉̜͇̫͜͞p̱̳̹̻̱̻̘p̛̛̱̳̹̻̱̻̘̠͉ͅo̧͈̙̦̰̣̼̘̱̰̥͟͜m̵̧̧̯͖̺̥̰̣̼̘̱̰̥͟͜m̵̧̧̯͖̺̥̰̣̼̘̱̰̥͟͜m̵̧̧̯͖̺̥̰̣̼̘̱̰̥͟͜m̵̧̯͖̺̥̖̹̦̙͝͞n̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩̖̹̦̙͢͝͞n̴̫̘͈͈͈̳̩͢҉͏̫̼̜͉̭i̙͙̙̥̰̯͎̘҉͏̫̼̜͉̭i̙͙̙̥̰̯͎̘҉͏̫̼̜͉̭i̙͙̙̥̰̯͎̘҉͏̫̼̜͉̭i̙͙̙̥̰̯͎̘҉͏̫̼̜͉̭i̙͙̙̥̰̯͎̘҉͏̫̼̜͉̭i̙͙̙̥̰̯͎̘̝̙̲̰͝h̢̟̲͠"
With a shudder that consumed the rest of Jax's energy, he slumped forward, knocking his forehead against hers. Pomni's hands shook as she reached her arms around him, pulling his ever-shifting form tightly against her. He went effortlessly, leaning into her movement until his head rested partially upon her shoulder.
Tears started falling from her eyes before she was aware of it, streaming down her face as she took shaky breaths.
"I-I'm here, Jax," she whispered and this time she was certain that he purred in response. Her gentle hands ran along the back of the abstraction, slight shocks of static running up her arms the longer she was in contact with him. But she didn't care, she couldn't care.
As one of her hands trailed down one of his front legs, her breath caught again. His leg no longer ended in a blunt stump; there was a flat shape bent out from the bottom. The rough form of a hand.
The shape twitched, glitching through Pomni's hand and resting atop it.
"̷̧͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙ş͇͈ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩s͇̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̸̢̟̲̰̤̱͚͙͠ͅk̫̰͇̲̼̪͚k̫̰͇̲̼̪͚̤͢u̴̧̢̖̞̝̖̤̥̱̳͢͝u̧̢̖̞̝̖̤͝ŗ̸̸̲͙͉͓͚̰̤k̫̰͇̲̼̪͚̤-"
A shudder ran through Jax's form. "̷̧͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩s͇̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̧̟̲͈͇̘͎̫͙͠ş͇͈͇̘͎̫ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙s͇a͏́͏͖͍̞̥a͏́͏͖͍̞̥a͏́͏͖͍̞̥̝̙̲̰͚͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̛̟̲̗͖̜́͠w͚͈̟̬̩-"
Another shudder, accompanied by his head lifting an inch and thumping back down on her shoulder. "̷̧͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙ş͇͈͇̘͎ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙̰ş͇͈͇̘͎ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙s̛̛͇ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅo͈̙̦̝̙̲̰͚͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͠͝ŗ̸̡̲͙͉͓͚̺ŗ̸̲͙͉͓͚ȩ̣̰͓̻͎͢͡ȩ̣̰͓̻͎̝̙̲͡͝h̢̛̟̲̘̯̙͈̫͢͠ͅȩ̛̣̰͓̻͎͢͡ȩ̣̰͓̻͎͡͝ȩ̛̣̰͓̻͎̘̯͢͡ȩ̣̰͓̻͎̝͡͝."
Pomni clutched him tightly and attempted to interlace her fingers with his half-formed hand. But there wasn't enough definition, no individual fingers for her to lock with. She glanced down to finally look at the shape, more so a mitten than anything else. The beginning of divots forming where individual fingers would be.
"H-hey, Pomni?"
Static erupted next to her ear as Jax pulled back, eyes twitching and focusing in on the flap of the tent. Gangle stood with a ribbon pulling it back a few inches, only letting in a little light, but it was enough to set Jax off. Gangle let out a quiet squeak before letting the flap close.
"S-SORRY!" Gangle's voice was strained as she tried to shout to Pomni over the crackling sounds from Jax. "A-ARE YOU OK, POMNI?"
"YEAH, GIMME A MINUTE!" Pomni shouted back, standing to her feet and placing a hand to one of Jax's back legs. The static quieted enough so she could hear herself think. "Jax, she was just checking on me," she tried to reassure.
Eyes swiveled back around, rapidly pulsing with vibrant lights before slowing. A grumbling sound started to layer with the static.
"Come here?" Pomni reached her hands up towards his face, hoping above hope that he'd understand. Heart threatening to break free of her chest, Pomni watched in awe as Jax slowly lowered his head into her hands. With half-lidded eyes, he kept his focus on her.
"̷̧͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩s͇̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̸̢̟̲̰̤̱͚͙͠ͅk̸̫̰͇̲̼̪͚̤̰̤̱͚͙ͅk̸̫̰͇̲̼̪͚̤̰̤̱͚͙ͅķ̫̰͇̲̼̪͚̤͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩s͇̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̟̲̝̙̲̰͚̗͓͠͝h̢̧̟̲͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩͠ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩ş͇͈͇̘͎̫͙̰̗̩s̛̛͇ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅơ̛͈̙̦ͅo̡͈̙̦̺̘͍͚̻̤ŗ̸̡̲͙͉͓͚̺̘͍͚̻̤ŗ̸̡̲͙͉͓͚̺̘͍͚̻̤ŗ̸̡̲͙͉͓͚̺̘͍͚̻̤ŗ̸̡̲͙͉͓͚̺̘͍͚̻̤ŗ̸̲͙͉͓͚"
A warm smile lit up her face and his eyes finally drifted shut. He let her pull his head lower, closer to her, and she pressed a kiss to his forehead. A shock of electricity hit her lips at the moment of contact, buzzing slightly. It wasn't unpleasant, a tingling sensation that lasted for a few seconds after she pulled away.
"It's ok, Jax." Pomni let her whispered words hang in the air, in that small space between them. Her hands explored the changes to his form, ran along his pseudo-ears and trailed down the sides of his head, all while a low purr vibrated at a frequency that resonated through her entire being.
But Gangle was waiting for her, and the longer she took the more likely her friend would start to worry- potentially get the others for help. Pomni couldn't risk another interruption like that. She drew her head back after pressing another kiss and receiving another little spark.
"I have to go before Gangle worries too much." That lovely purr shifted into something deeper and a little irritated, bringing out a small laugh and bright smile from Pomni. "I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"
With a little more grumbling and what Pomni would almost consider pouting behavior, Jax turned away from her and dropped his weight to the floor dramatically. The eyes on his back, on his legs, any of the eyes facing her were tightly closed, while he kept his head facing away. But all it did was make her smiler even wider, make the little laugh evolve into a full giggle, catching his attention as he threw one more glance over whatever constituted his shoulder.
There were only a few eyes that were located on his face, but the ones there rolled.
"Oh, come on! Don't be like that!" The teasing tone came easily, far more accessible than she would have considered after so long without using it. "You'll be fine and then, hey, I'll try to make it up to you somehow. I don't know how. But, I- I'll figure something out!"
A dismissive burst of static was the last response she was getting out of him, so she turned with a shrug, ghost of a smile still dancing across her face, and left the tent.
Gangle was staring at her with a level of intensity that caught Pomni off guard, causing her to misstep and trip over her feet before quickly righting herself. There was something about those fathomless black eyes starkly widened against the white of the mask that made Pomni feel like she was being researched. Her friend was clearly working through some sort of thought, analyzing her behaviors, and making some sort of conclusion that Pomni wasn't sure she was going to be happy with.
But most of all, it just made Pomni feel embarrassed. She could feel as her face warmed up despite her practically begging her body to not blush at the first sign of someone looking at her with such focus. With a soft sigh, Pomni tried to ignore how her body betrayed her only to find Gangle had a similar soft pink airbrushed across her mask.
"Uh… you good?" Pomni tossed it up as a peace offering sorts. Although, maybe disguised plea was more accurate- it really was just in hopes that Gangle would abandon whatever train of thought she was currently riding.
"Um…" Ribbons began to twist around each other in a show of anxiety. "W-was that-, did h-he talk?" Pomni felt her stomach clench at the question, trying to assess Gangle's expression, but there was no use. She had no idea what her friend was thinking, whether it was plain concern or terror or…
"Yeah…" Pomni spoke softly, almost worried that confirming it would somehow shatter the illusion. That Gangle would need some way to corroborate- only to find that Pomni had been hallucinating the sounds somehow. That Gangle had only heard her talking to Jax, and that Pomni had finally cracked.
Gangle nodded slowly, her hands coming to frame her mask.
"Ok. That's- that's um, new, right?"
"Oh god, am I going insane? D-did you hear him or was I just-" All of the hope and excitement from mere moments ago shattered onto the floor in her spiral. Tugging the ends of her jester cap as her tether to reality did little to ease her troubled mind, but it was something. Pomni's eyes turned into frantic scribblings as she tried to focus on a single spot on the floor, slow down, breathe.
"No no!" Silken red came from her periphery, gently guiding her gaze back to her friend's face. As soon as their eyes locked, Gangle had a grimace - or was it a smile? - on display as she dropped her ribbons to Pomni's shoulders. The steadying touch was good, helpful, and Pomni took a moment to remember all the times that she had done something similar when Gangle was having particularly difficult days.
"Pomni, I heard him too. Y-you're not crazy." The tense smile softened into something more genuine as her mask tilted. "I just wanted to check, I thought that m-maybe I was, um, tricking myself…"
The instantaneous flood of relief that rushed through Pomni was a greater high than she had felt in months. She wasn't crazy, it was real, Jax was-
"Have you, um-" Pomni dared to dream for just that tiny bit extra, yearned for the smallest push of reassurance from Gangle. And yet, it was so difficult to put into words. She took the slightest step back, letting the comforting hold of ribbons slip down her arms until she could grip Gangle's hands. Her gaze fell to the floor, embarrassed, but-
"Have you noticed any other changes? W-with Jax?" Pomni knew her voice was soft, possibly so quiet that Gangle may not have heard her. But, god, when she risked the glance at her friends face only to be met with wide eyes and frantic nodding, she felt tears threatening to spill.
"Yes!" Gangle squeaked before self-correcting her volume. "He looks different, right?"
Tears overflowed and Pomni had no chance at holding them back, just as she had no chance of dampening the huge smile breaking on her face or the laughing sobs of relief that wracked her body.
"Oh, thank god! I thought I was going fucking crazy, Gangle." Pomni did what she could to dry her eyes as Gangle wrapped her ribbons tightly around her, constricting her in a comforting embrace. "I th-thought everyone w-would think I was l-losing my mind." A particularly loud sob hit her in full force and the drifting rumble of static from the tent caught her attention.
Gangle's eyes went wide again as she drew back. "Um-"
The unspoken question didn't need to be asked. Pomni nodded, shouted an "I'm fine, Jax" towards his den, before walking elsewhere.
Slightly more aware of her surroundings, but still overcome with tears of joy, Pomni tried to keep her voice low as she talked. Gangle was more than happy to let her ramble on, waiting perhaps to contribute to the conversation once they were somewhere a little more private.
And so they ended up at Pomni's room, no longer decorated in its headache-inducing reds and blues, not a single childish decoration to be found. Instead, deep maroons covered the walls and the room, while simple, contained all that Pomni could possibly hope for: a comfortable bed, a little reading nook, a dresser filled to the brim with soft leisure wear.
Pomni gestured to the bed, sitting down and inviting Gangle to do the same. She let out a relieved sigh, imbuing it with the heaviness that had been weighing her down for the past weeks.
"Genuinely, I didn't want anyone to think I was going crazy, but he looks like… more normal, right?"
Gangle nodded, looking a little chagrined. "S-so we maybe have all noticed, but, um-" Pomni's eyebrows raised towards the ceiling. So they had all known, but why- "But we weren't sure if you had and, um, w-we didn't want to accidentally make things worse? O-or make you think it was getting better before we… knew it was?" Her mask turned back to Pomni, eyes full of regret.
For her part, Pomni gave a slow nod. The tears had mostly stopped, although she still had a few teary moments.
"No, yeah. That makes sense…" Pomni sighed, but couldn't find it in herself to care about the omission from her friends. They were keeping their knowledge from her for the same reason she was keeping it from them- they wanted to make sure she didn't go crazy. "Honestly, I'm just so glad it's not me. No one talked about it and I thought I had made it all up…"
"I'm r-really sorry about that, Pomni. W-we didn't know…" Her soft voice trailed off.
"Really, it's fine." Pomni let herself fall backwards onto her bed with a loud exhale. The bed welcomed her with open arms, softer than it had ever felt before. The exhaustion from the day started to drag her down with a heavy yawn. "God- I'm just so fucking relieved…"
As her eyes fell closed and sleep threatened to take her, a thought pushed itself to the forefront of her mind.
She sat up suddenly, startling Gangle with her movement.
"WAIT. Gangle!"
"I-I'm right here!" Gangle weakly protested.
"Ha. Right. Um- I don't mean to sound horribly full of myself, but I feel like being alone with Jax h-helps?" Gangle, much to Pomni's surprise, nodded. It seems she was not the only one who had reached that particular conclusion. "Would you be able to help me get some uninterrupted time with him? I feel like every time I go to see him, someone-"
The stiffening of ribbons was always an easily readable tell of Gangle's and Pomni felt proud of having properly sussed something out.
"Gangle…" Pomni let the name take on an almost teasing quality, trying to coax the information from her friend. "Is there a reason I haven't been able to-"
"YES." A dramatic huff as Gangle practically threw her mask into her hands and let out a silent scream of frustration. "We- we were just so worried about you, so we started trying to- to keep a closer eye and- ugh!"
A laugh bubbled out of her throat, she couldn't help it. "Gangle, it's ok. I kind of figured. So are you all taking shifts or something?" Gangle nodded and Pomni's previous idea started to grow legs, evolving into something stronger.
She leaned forward, grabbing Gangle's shoulders and pulling her so their eyes were locked.
"Gangle. I have a plan and I need your help."