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Mike doesn’t know what makes him come back to PSL tonight. Maybe it’s a gut feeling; maybe he just had to be sure. And just like he suspected there was Harvey scowling at the same file he had been working on since the last time he “interrupted”. Harvey has been out of sorts lately; dare he say cranky. That’s not to say that Harvey hasn’t ever been moody, it’s just seems like lately he is a flash bomb and everyone, even Donna, is stepping carefully. He thinks back to a night three months ago; when Jessica Pearson knocked on his door.
It was early, at least by his standards. 10 am on a Saturday. Mike was just happy he had a semi clean shirt to put on before he slipped on his jeans (conveniently located on the floor next to the bed), and opened the door. Jessica of course was dressed impeccably in a cream suit. Stunned, Mike stood there, eyes wide and silent.
“Mr. Ross. May I come in?”
Thankfully his brain kicked in at the question. He moved aside stuttering. “Y..yes, Jessica, I mean Ms. Pearson.”
He watched confused as she strode in and sat easily on his couch. “Sorry for the mess,” he muttered, clearing space for her.
“Redecorating?” she asked as he was tidying up.
“Something like that,” he smiled uneasily. He knew the place was a mess. Clothes were scattered around the apartment, separated into “hers” and “his” piles. Evidence from his latest and final fight with Rachel before they both decided to end it for good.
Jessica cocked her head as if reading his thoughts, making him uneasy. He never could withstand the Jessica stare- something feral, a little more frightening than Donna’s, but not by much.
“It’s over then?”
Mike dropped his head. “Yes. Although truthfully, it’s been over for a while.”
“Mmhmm, yes. I am sorry.”
“Would I sound horrible if I told you I wasn’t?”
“No. You would just be finally admitting the truth. A truth many of us already knew. Sometimes, it’s easier to hide our true desires in other things; other people. Wouldn’t you say?”
Mike looked at her, feeling more uneasy than ever. Did she know something? Should he be worried?
“Anyway,” she continues. “I wanted to tell you that I am leaving.”
“Leaving?”
“Yes. I told Harvey and Louis last night, that I was going in a different direction. I am heading to Chicago to be with Jeff and leaving PSL behind.”
“What? But what about your firm, your dreams? Besides, do you really think it’s a good idea to leave Tango and Cash to run the place? They will destroy it.”
“‘Rats in a maze, men in a cage.’ Sounds about right,” she laughed. “I am sure they will find a way- they always do. As for me, I’ve decided to follow my heart and not my ambition.”
He looked at her and couldn’t help the spike of jealousy that crept along his nerve endings. To be that free. To take a chance and go after what and who he really wants, and more importantly how.
“Not that I don’t appreciate you telling me all of this, in person no less, but why are you here?”
“I need you to do something for me. I need you take on a role I once held.
“I don’t work for PSL anymore, and I can’t practice law.”
“This has nothing to do with PSL or being a lawyer.”
“Then what is it you need?” he asked curiously.
“I need you to look after Harvey.”
“Look after Harvey?”
“Don’t let Harvey fool you. Beneath that brilliant lawyering, is a bold, brash and impulsive man, who finds himself craving something. Something I willingly gave him. Something different.
“Different how?”
“Different in the same way I do. In the same way you do.”
“I am still not following you.”
“Sometimes Harvey needs to be reminded; needs to be brought back down to a manageable place- or else he becomes …reckless.”
“And you think I can rein him in? Me?” he laughed.
She didn’t answer. Instead, he watched her pull a long chain out of her purse. Dangling from the end was a key.
“Yes. You, Mr. Ross. I think you have everything that Harvey needs.”
She stretched out her hand, offering it to him.
“And what is that?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest.
“The key to Harvey’s collar.”
Mike felt a shiver go through him. Now he had a choice to make. He could play dumb; pretend he had no idea what Jessica was talking about. Or, he could accept the responsibility and admit that he was more than just a fake lawyer with an eidetic memory. Mike had another secret- one that if was exposed could be almost as dangerous as the one he and Harvey shared. He thought no one knew. Apparently he was wrong.
But he wasn’t the only one with a secret and it’s not like he didn’t know who Jessica was, outside of the courtroom. Her name not only commanded respect in the legal world, but also the underworld. Dom’s and subs alike whispered her name in reverence. Mike heard it said more than once that a scene with Mistress Jess was an honor. And when it was all said and done, you would leave sated in bliss and bruises.
He looked up into her gaze and was aware she already knew what his answer would be. He started to reach out for the chain, but stopped.
“How?” he asked, knowing he had been very discreet in his “extracurricular” activities.
“It’s a small world. And though I primarily have very few private clients, that doesn’t mean I don’t hear about up and coming Dom’s in the community. And you have made a name for yourself in certain circles.”
He reached for the chain. It felt cold and heavy in his hands. He grasped it carefully, knowing that this was an act of faith, of trust.
“What makes you think he will accept this from me?” He inquired.
She smiled then. “I am sure you will be able to convince him.”
Jessica gathered herself and turned to the door. Mike followed her.
“How will I know when…” he trailed off.
“You’ll know, Master Mike.”
Mike blushed, hearing his scene name come from the most powerful woman he had ever met. Jessica had just crossed over the threshold into the hall when Mike saw her stop and turn back to him.
“Hurt him in anyway. And there won’t be a safe place on this damn earth you will be able to hide from me.”
“Understood,” he responded automatically.
“Good boy.”
~~~~
Now as he watches Harvey pace back and forth in front of his desk, Mike understands what Jessica meant. It’s time. Harvey needs him even if he doesn’t know it yet.
“Harvey?”
“Mike. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be spending time with your fiancée?”
Mike can hear it now; the contempt when Harvey mentions Rachel. Funny, how he never noticed it before- or maybe he just didn’t want to.
“She’s out bringing tidings of comfort and joy to the sick.”
When Harvey raises an eyebrow, he clarifies.
“Caroling with her classmates at the hospital- some class tradition.”
“Noble,” he scoffs.
“Anyway, that is no longer any of my concern. I came here to tell you I have made a decision. But it’s going to require some time to work out the details. Do you think you will be done soon?”
Harvey looks back down on his desk, shuffles a few papers around.
“I don’t know, Mike, I still have a lot to do.”
Swing and a miss, Mike’s brain supplies. Mike can recognize the deflection from across the room. Time for a different approach, he thinks.
“Come on Harvey, you came to me with your offer and I told you I needed to think about it. Well, I have.”
Harvey once again looks up, something like hope shining in his eyes.
“Does that mean you are coming back?”
“Meet me at your place in an hour and I will let you know what it means.”
“You telling me what to do now Rookie? Just what happened while you were in jail?” he teases.
“Trust me Harvey, I didn’t need jail to learn how to give orders,” he answers confidently, his voice bleeding heat.
“One hour, your place,” he states emphatically before walking out.
Mike is nervous. As if running from the cops and being discovered a fraud wasn’t bad enough. For some reason this seems bigger, heavier. This next hour will decide more than his future, but possibly his entire relationship with Harvey.
Mike arrives at Harvey’s door exactly one hour later. He takes a few steadying breaths trying to slow down his heartbeat. His play bag is heavy on his shoulder, though not as heavy as the knowledge of what he is preparing to try to do.
He knocks on the door and waits.
No answer. Dammit Harvey. He knocks again, wondering if he should use his key.
This time, he hears footsteps coming from inside. A moment later Harvey is standing in front of him.
“Took you long enough,” Mike mutters as he walks in.
“When did you start being punctual?” Harvey asks sarcastically.
“About the time you started yelling at people for interrupting your thoughts, while you waited for them to show up.”
Harvey walks to the bar and pulls out two tumblers.
“Drink?”
“No.”
Harvey pours a healthy amount of the amber liquid into his glass. Mike really wishes he could join him. But if things go down the way he hopes they do, he needs to keep his wits about him. Mike drops his duffel on the floor and goes to sit on the couch. Harvey looks at the bag, then back at him.
“What’s with the bag- you get kicked out or something?”
“You wish. Maybe I’m just bringing you some Christmas Spirit,” he smiles.
“Alright smart ass, are we back in business or what?”
“That depends,” Mike starts cautiously.
“On?”
“On whether or not we can be completely honest with each other.”
“What are you talking about? I have never lied to you.”
“Jessica came to see me.”
“In jail? She never mentioned that.”
“No. The night she told you she was leaving to be with Jeff.”
Mike sees Harvey’s jaw tighten, and knows he is close to touching a nerve.
“She wanted to tell you the news herself? How sweet,” he says bitterly.
Harvey takes a healthy swallow from his glass, and Mike steels his nerves. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the chain with Harvey’s key.
Harvey blanches. “Where did you get that?”
“I told you Jessica came to see me.”
“Are you trying to tell me that you got that from Jessica?”
“You have a better explanation, counselor?” Mike tries.
“Look Mike, I don’t know what you think you …”
“Harvey…”
“…or what she may have told you but that…,” he continues, ignoring Mike.
“Harvey,” Mike states a little stronger.
Mike can see Harvey is visibly agitated. Harvey’s skin is flushed and his breath is coming out in short pants. If Mike isn’t careful, this could go one of three ways, Harvey’s agitation will turn to anger, in which case they will end up having yet another fight in Harvey’s condo. Harvey will continue to get flustered and decompensate into a full blown panic attack. Or lastly, Mike could diffuse the situation calmly and get Harvey to talk to him.
“That is not mine!”
Mike stands and walks over to where Harvey is standing, glaring at him.
“Harvey! Please, try and calm down. There’s a reason Jessica came to me with this. You aren’t the only one with secrets.”
Harvey goes silent. Mike can still feel the anger rolling off of the man in front of him in waves of heat and knows this is his chance.
“That’s right Harvey. You’re not the only one with a secret. If you thought me being a fake lawyer was the biggest secret I carried around with me - you are wrong.”
Mike stands in front of the other man, waiting silently. Harvey isn’t yelling, but he isn’t talking either. They stand there, sharing the same space. Mike has never been good with silence, so he immediately tries to fill in the blanks.
“Say something, Harvey.”
“Why you? Why did she come to you and why in the hell did she give you…that,” he spits, pointing to the key still in Mike’s hand.
“Maybe because she knew that there would come a time that you would decide to deny yourself this, instead of reaching out for someone new. Maybe because she trusted me and she knew that you trusted me, too.”
“That still doesn’t explain why she gave you my…”
“I’m a Dom, Harvey.”
Mike hears Harvey take a quick intake of breath. He hadn’t planned on blurting it out, but when has he ever had self-control around Harvey.
“Is that some kind of joke? Because the last time I checked, you were a drug dealer turned fake lawyer. Nowhere, in any of that screams Dom.”
“That’s because you weren’t supposed to know. I have kept that side hidden. I attend few selective events, with strict confidentiality. I knew of Jessica, though I never saw her in action. Her clients, the ones she left behind when she went ‘private’, still speak highly of her.
“She will always be someone special to me,” Harvey whispers. He looks at Mike as if searching for some clue, some nugget of either truth or deceit. Mike lets him look.
“You may be what you say you are, but that doesn’t mean that I am about to get on my knees for you or anyone else. So if that’s what you came here for, then I am sorry to say that you are wasting your time.”
Mike would like to say he isn’t disappointed, but he would be lying to himself. Of course he is. But then he is also relieved. He never once considered how hard this conversation would be for Harvey; of what it could or would possibly imply.
“I came here to tell you that I was taking you up on your offer- to be a consultant. And to give you this back.” Mike hands Harvey the key. “You are not property, Harvey. Whenever, if ever, you decide to give yourself to another Dom, it should be by your choice.”
Harvey reaches up and grabs the key. Mike ignores the spark of electricity he feels when Harvey’s hand grazes his own.
“Thank you, Mike. That means a lot.”
Mike nods and turns to go. He is almost to the door when Harvey speaks, stopping him.
“Veritas.”
The word is spoken so softly, Mike barely hears it.
He turns back to face Harvey. “What did you just say?”
Harvey drops his head, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “Veritas,” he repeats.
“Truth? What…?”
“It’s my safeword,” Harvey utters softly, cutting off Mike’s confusion.
Mike feels the air go out the room as he looks upon his friend, his mentor, not to mention his secret crush, standing before him.
“Harvey, what are you saying?” he asks slowly, feeling like any sudden movements will break the fragile balance the two of them have at the moment.
“I’m saying that I trust you.”
“Are you sure?”
Harvey fingers the key still in his hand momentarily, before starting to move. The three, no four steps he takes towards Mike seem to take a lifetime. When he is standing in front of him, Harvey reaches for Mike’s hand. His brown eyes lock with Mike’s blue ones as he places the key back into Mike’s hands.
“I’m sure,” he whispers.
Mike takes a moment to gather himself, to find a clear space in his head that isn’t screaming “Oh my God, what the hell is happening?”
He takes a breath, then a second, longer one.
“We need to talk about rules. Hard limits as well as soft ones.” Mike is surprised how calm his voice sounds to his own ears despite his stomach pitching back and forth.
When they have set up some preliminary boundaries, Mike has an internal freak out moment and excuses himself to the bathroom. A few splashes of cold water on his face and a pep talk, or two later, he returns. Harvey is sitting on the edge of the window. Not quite on the floor but close to it with his hands pressed together. Seems Mike isn’t the only one wondering if they just crossed a line they shouldn’t have.
Mike walks up to him slowly.
“I miss her,” Harvey states, not looking in Mike’s direction. “I miss her more than I thought I would.”
“Of course you do. Jessica has been, and will always be, a special person in your life, for many reasons.” Mike calmly reassures. “It’s okay to miss her.”
“How are we going to do this, Mike? I want to, but I don’t think I am going to be able to.”
“How about we start with something easy.”
“May I have your permission?” he asks, his voice strong.
Harvey nods.
Mike frowns. “I’m going to need you to use your words, Harvey. Now do I have your permission?” he repeats.
“Yes.”
“Tell me your safeword?”
“Veritas,” Harvey answers.
“Will you stand for me, Harvey?”
Harvey raises himself up off the floor. Mike slowly walks up to him. He keeps eye contact the entire time.
“Turn and face the window.”
Once again, Harvey has done as he requests. Mike knows that these are simple commands, a test of sorts to see if they can find their own rhythm. Mike stands behind Harvey, not close enough to touch, but close enough he can feel the heat radiating off of the man in front of him. Mike leans in close to Harvey’s ear.
“Close your eyes, Harvey,” he whispers.
Mike glances at their reflection in the window. He is captivated by the sight of them together. He blows gently on the back of Harvey’s neck and watches goosebumps erupt on Harvey’s skin. Before he can stop himself, he does it again. When Mike places his hands near Harvey’s wrists, he feels the man in front of him stiffen briefly.
“Mike,” Harvey questions, his voice full of concern. Mike can see Harvey’s eyes are open and as wide as saucers.
Mike thinks about stopping, because, hello, it’s Harvey. Not one of his regulars, or some random sub. But training and muscle memory keeps him going.
“Are you using your safeword?” he breathes directly into Harvey’s ear.
“No,” Harvey mutters.
Mike smiles to himself. In one quick move he grasps both of Harvey’s wrists together and places them above Harvey’s head, holding them against the glass window. He hears Harvey’s quick intake of breath as he tests Mike’s hold. He waits a heartbeat, then another, giving Harvey time to get over the shock and if need be safeword out. When that doesn’t happen, he continues.
“Then don’t move and don’t speak without permission,” he utters darkly. “Is that understood?”
Silence.
Mike firms up his hold, stretching Harvey’s arms that much higher.
“Is that understood?” he repeats firmly.
“Yes,” Harvey huffs.
“Good boy,” he whispers seductively, before nipping at the edge of Harvey’s ear with his teeth.
Mike feels more than hears Harvey’s shuddering whimper. Harvey relaxes a touch, his body sagging ever so slightly. Mike knows that this is the first step- establishing trust. There are so many things he wants to do to Harvey- but first comes trust. Mike adjusts his grip so he has both of Harvey’s in one, freeing up his other hand to roam.
“Tell me, Harvey. What is it you need?”
Mike moves his right hand across Harvey’s stomach slowly, feeling the muscle ripple beneath his touch. He trails his palm up Harvey’s chest, gingerly circling his nipple beneath the smooth black shirt. He rolls it around between his fingers until its starts to stiffen and peak. Harvey drops his head, his breathing is faster and Mike can see in the reflection that his eyes are closed.
“I don't…”
Mike doesn’t let him finish.
“Is it pain?” He asks, pinching the now strained nipple between his finger and thumb.
Harvey gasps.
Mike looks down to see that Harvey is starting to get hard.
“Is it pleasure?” he purrs, flattening out his hand and moving it downward just along the edge of Harvey’s expensive pants.
His fingers graze Harvey’s tender flesh, circling his belly button. Mike wants to move his hand lower, but decides against it. Instead opting to place it lightly on the outside of Harvey’s pants on his hip. Mike is being cautious, he doesn’t want to push Harvey, but at the same time he wants to let Harvey know that he is worthy of the key he gave back to him.
“Still with me, Harvey?” he asks.
“Yes,” Harvey answers breathily.
“Good.”
Mike moves his hand towards the growing tent in Harvey’s pants. He traces the outline of Harvey’s erection- slowly, delicately, all the while avoiding it directly. Harvey bucks into the touch and bites his lip, attempting to stop the moan that has started to fall from his lips. And damn if that sound doesn’t go straight to Mike’s crotch making his dick twitch.
“Tell me Harvey, what do you need, what do you want? Do you need it hard and fast? The sting of my crop, the heat from my hand as it connects repeatedly with your ass? Or maybe you want more than that. Maybe the release you seek is found by getting fucked so deep, so hard, so long, you are pleading and begging for me to let you come.” Please let it be option two.
Harvey is panting with need, with want. Mike can smell Harvey’s arousal and yearns to lick the scent off his skin.
“Mike…I…,” Harvey stutters, his body trembling.
“Yes, Harvey…” he whispers, his fingers still carefully avoiding touching Harvey’s length. “Tell me…”
“Yes..”
“Yes? To what? Some of it? Any of it?”
“All of it.”