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He doesn't know how it started, this odd routine they have going for themselves.They've never really talked about it either, and while it grates at Atsushi to know why Akutagawa goes along with it, he values his life more. And...it's kind of nice. As wild as that sounds.
A certain coffee shop, on certain days at a certain time, Atsushi would enter and sit down at the corner booth, ordering whatever he feels like. 10 minutes later, Akutagawa would enter the same cafe and sit opposite Atsushi, after ordering his habitual round of a caramel frappucino.
Akutagawa has a surprisingly sweet tooth, Atsushi has come to realize.
"Someone spit in my face today," Akutagawa says without being prompted, "It was fucking gross."
Atsushi doesn't laugh, even though he really wants to. Akutagawa looks hilarious when affronted. He sobers up, though, and asks instead, "What did you do to them?"
Two weeks ago, Akutagawa would have just told him. Sliced a man open perhaps, or fed him his eyeballs. Akutagawa would have told him without hesitation and much feeling; purely an answer to his question.
Today, Akutagawa simply raises an eyebrow, "You don't need to know."
Which is true, Atsushi would rather not know. He has half a mind to ask Akutagawa where he gets off telling Atsushi what he needs though, but Atsushi will leave it for now. This is...progress.
"Okay,"Atsushi nods, takes a sip of his coffee, and continues, "Ranpo-san and Naomi played a prank on me today. My desk is full of glitter." He lifts his arms to show Akutagawa, at how there are speckles of glitter on his skin, scattered and eye-catching. He swears he sees a little tilt of amusement to Akutagawa's lips, but Atsushi can never be too sure, "I just left it like that. I'm not dealing with the mess right now."
Akutagawa scoffs, "No wonder you're shining like a show girl."
They go quiet for a moment, drinking their respective drinks. The silence isn't stifling or awkward. It hasn't been that way for a while.
"Gin told me that she bought a cactus today. We made a bet. I said that it wouldn't last two weeks. She thinks it'll survive for a month or more."
"Cacti are pretty stubborn though," Atsushi interjects, smiling a little, "You might have chosen the wrong side."
Akutagawa seems to consider that, before shrugging, "That's fine. I don't really lose much. The bet was dinner, and we do that sometimes already."
Atsushi laughs, and Akutagawa coughs into his fist, politely turning his head to the side. Atsushi lets the silence sit a little longer, watching Akutagawa as he drinks his frappucino. If he's waiting for something, Akutagawa doesn't show it.
Atsushi supposes that a little reward is in order for his good behavior.
"Dazai-san tried to get Yosano-sensei to agree to euthanasia the whole day yesterday. She ended up almost snapping his neck to get it over with. But apparently getting your spinal cord severed isn't clean or graceful enough a death."
He watches for Akutagawa's reaction. Only a little scoff, a slight eye roll, and a mumble, "What a fool."
That's it. Akutagawa sips his drink and doesn't say anything else.
His eyes used to light up at the mere mention of Dazai, entranced by the talk of his former mentor that he'd lean closer over the table to listen to Atsushi. It isn't so now. Atsushi wonders what has changed.
Akutagawa finishes his drink and sets the cup down, drumming his fingers on the table once. He looks at Atsushi, "I saw the aurora borealis on Tuesday while on a mission. Reminded me of you."
There's no way of expecting that from Akutagawa; Atsushi nearly chokes on his drink. He looks up at Akutagawa with what he knows is an expression of bewilderment. But he can't help himself. It's almost as if—
"How...How so?"
"It was gold and purple. Like your eyes."
"Ah," Atsushi makes himself say, internally wincing at how shaken he sounds, "That makes sense."
In actuality, it doesn't, not when Akutagawa Ryuunosuke of the Port Mafia is comparing the color of his eyes to a beautiful phenomenon that happens only in certain areas of the world and are widely regarded as something incredibly romantic, it doesn't make sense, and Atsushi could feel his face burn. Surely it is simply an odd observation from Akutagawa. There is no reason Akutagawa would ever...
"I've never seen the aurora borealis. It sounds amazing," Atsushi calms himself down, trying for a smile. It's his turn to share something with Akutagawa now.
Akutagawa's lips twitch, in such an unfamiliar way that Atsushi couldn't comprehend what's happening at first.
Akutagawa smiles, "Maybe I'll take you with me one day. So you can see the auroras."
There's no mistaking his tone. There's no mistaking his meaning, now. There isn't a trace of sarcasm in Akutagawa's tone. Atsushi feels unbalanced.
"M-maybe you should bring Dazai-san instead. He'd like to see them, don't you think?"
He doesn't know what prompted him to say that, but Atsushi watches Akutagawa's smile disappear and feels something weird bloom in his chest. "I don't want to bring Dazai-san. He's probably seen everything there is to see in this world. He's got nothing to do with this, too."
Akutagawa fixes Atsushi with a look, and everything comes to light, "I'm talking about bringing you, Man-Tiger. Understand?"
He does. Not entirely, not completely, but Atsushi understands. He smiles, too, even if the smile wobbles precariously; he cannot keep his face straight, "Yeah. I think you might need to start calling me by my actual name rather than Man-Tiger before you bring me anywhere, though."
That seems to annoy Akutagawa, and Atsushi wonders for a split second that perhaps this might not work after all.
"Fine," Akutagawa says with a scowl, "Nakajima."
Atsushi's smile is so wide his cheeks ache.
They're making progress.