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Bad news was never anything Kazuki was fond of, but finding out that he only had five years left to live was very hard for him to register.
It was...heartbreaking to say the least. He was so happy, after all, they had just got Soushi back, and had gained peace and possibly even a new ally, and yet… his body was failing him.
He wondered why was it that the world was so cruel, why they couldn't just be happy and live their lives, why there always had to be something to make them suffer. He didn't know what to think, all he could was wonder… why? Why now?
Toomi-sensei has remained silent, waiting for Kazuki to responds, but Kazuki could only stare down at the papers in his hands, looking at them blankly, before eventually he let out a breath and said, “I see…” He looked up at Chizuru and smiled wryly. “Thank you… Toomi-sensei.”
***
Kazuki didn't like getting emotional in front of others, so he wanted to hide the sadness that overwhelmed him from hearing the news, but as he tried to break the news to his friends gathered around in Alvis break room awaiting to know about his tests results, his eyes burned and he was no longer able to suppress his feelings as hot tears started roll down his cheeks.
There was confused looks of concern on their faces as they wondered what was bothering him, which only served to make the lump in Kazuki's throat grow as he struggled to speak. “I…” he tried, but couldn't get the rest of his words out, and before long Soushi was at his side, holding him. Trying to comfort him of a trouble he didn't know about.
Kazuki wiped his tears and put on a smile devoid of happiness, he had to tell them. He came all this way and asked Toomi-sensei to let him do it, he couldn't back out now. “It seems I…” Kazuki bit his lip, pausing to take a deep breath before he continued and said, “It seems I only have five years left to live.”
***
Kazuki regretted it, but at the same time, they would all find out eventually, however after watching all his friends cry, he felt like he would have rathered not tell them at all. He didn't like seeing the people he cared for hurt, they didn't deserve that after everything they had been through.
He wanted to be alone. Staying around them was too much to handle, between the looks of pity and the obvious suffering, Kazuki couldn't handle being in their presence, so he left Alvis and headed for the one place he knew he could be alone, the beach behind the lab where Mark Nicht was kept.
He found it funny that the place that held the thing that was responsible for his current condition was a place of comfort for him. Maybe if Mark Nicht was never created he wouldn't be like this, if he had succeeded in saving Koyo that day, if he never failed to save Shoko… then maybe...just maybe he wouldn't be like this.
Kazuki smiled an empty smile. He could only blame himself for this, maybe if he had never saved that plane then the human army would have never found the island and he would have been able to save Shoko then Koyo wouldn't have-
“There's no point in lingering on the past,” Soushi spoke from behind Kazuki, his expression neutral, but Kazuki could tell he was pained right now.
“How did you know?”
“Because it's what you do.”
Kazuki laughed, then looked away and stared out at the ocean. “Do you think I deserve this.”
Soushi frowned, Kazuki could tell from the noise he made. “What?” he said, not bothering to hide his anger from Kazuki's words.
“Shoko, Koyo, Mamoru… you, everyone. In some way, I hurt all of you. Maybe this is just… Karma.”
Soushi moved fast, Kazuki hadn't even known when he had gotten so close. He felt his hand on his shoulder before he was roughly turned around and forced to look at Soushi. “You can't tell me you're seriously blaming yourself for all of that!?” he shouted uncharacteristically, his usual composure nowhere in sight.
Kazuki averted his eyes, he couldn't look at Soushi. “But it's true… isn't it.”
“No one blames you for any of that!”
Kazuki flared as he turned to glare at Soushi. “Koyo did! And I'm sure Toomi did as well!” Kazuki gritted his teeth as tears started to fall again. “I've taken so much… I deserve to die!”
A loud smack and a hot sting on his cheek is what followed, and Kazuki blinked as he tried to register what had just happened, but before he could even move, Soushi pulled him into his arms and held him tight. “Don't say that…” Soushi said, his voice shaking as he spoke. “I understand you're in pain… but please... don't say such sad things. Trying to convince yourself that you deserve to die isn't going to make anything better.”
Kazuki gripped the front of Soushi's shirt and buried his face into his chest. “I just… I'm scared.”
“We all are...and that's okay…”
Kazuki squeezed his eyes shut, and finally allowed himself to cry in full. It was unfair, he wanted to live, to be together with Soushi and enjoy a nice peaceful life with him… not die and leave him all alone after he just got him back. “I don't….I don't want to leave you!” he confessed amidst his tears.
“And I don't want to lose you… that's why I promise… I promise I'll find a way to cure you.”
A cure. It sounded nice, but Kazuki wondered how likely was it that Soushi could actually succeed in finding a way to cure him before he perished. Five years wasn't a lot of time to figure out a way to fix something they had been fighting against for decades.
However Kazuki wanted to believe, he wanted to cling to the hope that there was still a chance for him, a way for him to survive, so he clung to Soushi, his one and only hope, and prayed that he could be saved.