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  1. Public Bookmark 30

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    Summary

    It’s 2024. Hollander and Rozanov have been married for a few years, navigating life together.
    Until sudden news forces Ilya to go back to Russia to fight for full custody of his niece before social services take her away.
    Ilya must return to the country he once escaped.
    Shane has to let him.

    They’ll have to learn how to be parents, and how not to lose each other along the way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,876
    Chapters:
    3/8
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    72
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    2,052

    13 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    WIP, ch 3

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,186
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    3,821
    Kudos:
    35,307
    Bookmarks:
    10,089
    Hits:
    459,653

    02 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Beautiful, I love it, 10/10 send to kindle

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.

    Except, well. Then there are zombies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,670
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    1,959
    Kudos:
    6,272
    Bookmarks:
    2,908
    Hits:
    90,130

    30 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    10/10 HR Fic Hall of Fame, send to kindle

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The first sound Ilya hears is a thin, discordant symphony of beeps and whirs. Something vibrating. 

    The next thing he hears is…wet. A sort of shaking, gargling sound, that feels like the ugliest crying he’s ever heard. And through it, Shane’s voice. 

    “I’m with him now, mom. He’s— he’s not fine. He’s not. I know—”

    Ilya wants to ask who's not fine, but he can’t feel his own body, his mouth, enough to ask.

    “Yeah,” Shane is saying, only slightly calmer. “I know. He wasn’t breathing—"

    Ilya knows there's a link, between the clinical musicality of medical settings, Shane’s audible, awful distress, and his own physical incapacity. It’s just, it’s so tenuous, and the air around him is so thick, so heavy. It would be easy, to sleep, a little. 

    -
    Footage of the last game between Ottawa and Montreal is everywhere; it’s breached containment from the sports world, and now it seems like everyone is baying for Montreal’s blood. Except, Ilya is oblivious. Not exactly blissfully so, but as the fight for accountability within the league rages on without him, Ilya just wants someone, anyone, to tell him what happened.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,785
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    1,554
    Kudos:
    5,237
    Bookmarks:
    1,950
    Hits:
    127,962

    27 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    10/10 story, send to kindle!

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “You want to talk to people about me?” Shane asked quietly.

    There was something small and confused in the question. But Ilya was still furious and raw.

    “Well I would,” he sneered, “if there was anything about you that was fucking interesting to talk about! It would be nice to not be so fucking bored and miserable!”

    The second the words left his mouth, he watched the pain roll across Shane's features like a thousand fractures shattering through glass.

    Ilya had seen Shane nearly break ribs. He had seen him miss game-winning shots, take hits that left bruises blooming purple and black across his skin. He had never seen this.

    Shane closed his eyes for a long moment. He shook his head slightly, a tiny movement, then nodded once as if agreeing with something only he could hear. His face twisted briefly with a fresh wave of pain before he forced it to still.

    ---------

    What if Shane and Ilya don't make up so easily after the Boxing Day fight? The Centaur's plane never malfunctions, so Shane never proposes. Instead, Ilya gives him an ultimatum on coming out and going public. It backfires spectacularly.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,112
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    2,467
    Kudos:
    15,718
    Bookmarks:
    5,847
    Hits:
    366,420

    22 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    10/10 beautiful, send to kindle

  6. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “When you’re with her,” Ilya continues, voice rough and breathless, “and she does fuck all for you no matter how hard you close your eyes, do you try to angle your hand so she brushes up on the scar? Do you do everything you can to remember it exists? Am I there with you, Hollander? Always?”

    Shane wants to touch him—so he does the only thing he’s allowed to do.

    He throws the first punch.

    Or: After Shane and Ilya's first on-ice fight sends the media into a frenzy, the league forces them to date to control the narrative.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,553
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    212
    Kudos:
    2,712
    Bookmarks:
    999
    Hits:
    43,458

    21 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Violence but make it… sexy? 10/10 send to kindle

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya:
    9/10 she had freckles

    Shane:
    7.5/10 Medium dick but he ate my ass like he was starving for it

    ---

    Shane and Ilya call it quits after the All-Stars game when Ilya says they can't be anything. He says no one will fuck Shane like he can, and Shane takes that personally, starting a two year cycle of sending each other ratings of the other people they fuck

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,424
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    250
    Kudos:
    6,270
    Bookmarks:
    1,091
    Hits:
    43,742

    19 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Send to kindle, 10/10

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander disappears in the middle of an ordinary week.

    What follows fractures everything: the search, the media storm, the slow collapse of certainty, and the horrifying realisation that survival is not always loud. Sometimes it looks like silence. Sometimes it looks like endurance mistaken for consent.

    While Ilya Rozanov tears through every lead trying to find him, Shane is trapped inside a house where cruelty wears the shape of care, and where the most dangerous thing of all is how easy it becomes to doubt himself.

    A story about captivity, aftermath, love, shame, survival, and what remains of a person after someone tries to rewrite them.

    Or: A break-in leaves Shane Hollander terrified of the world outside his door — and vulnerable to the kind of danger that doesn’t look dangerous until it’s far too late.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    407,278
    Chapters:
    33/45
    Comments:
    532
    Kudos:
    990
    Bookmarks:
    507
    Hits:
    60,287

    15 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    WIP, ch 33

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    222,222
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    17,188
    Kudos:
    42,571
    Bookmarks:
    16,703
    Hits:
    1,936,121

    15 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Perfect, send to kindle

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya's hand continues its path up and down Shane's back, and Shane thinks again about how love is sometimes just this: a palm on the spine, moving in circles, waiting for you to come back to yourself. There is no promise of saving you—Ilya cannot save him, they both know this and are alright with it in their own ways—but there is a vow of staying, lingering in order to witness. Touching the bruise so that its pain triggers the memory that you are allowed to be touched.

    Outside, the snow continues its work of erasure. Inside, Shane's breathing begins to even out, every limb recalling how to be a man at rest rather than an animal fawning and freezing. The trembling subsides, wave by wave, as if Ilya's hand is smoothing it out of him.

    "Sleep, зайчик," Ilya says softly, his free hand coming to rest in Shane's hair. "I have you."

    This is not true, Shane thinks, and it is also the only true thing.

     

    recovery, shane learns, is not a straight line. to begin to understand something, you must first name it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,178
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    199
    Kudos:
    1,063
    Bookmarks:
    332
    Hits:
    15,647

    13 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Stunning. Send to kindle.

  11. Public Bookmark 98

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya was looking away from the garden, away from their daughter, and at him. It was his full, unmediated attention that Shane had spent years learning to receive without deflecting, which he had never mastered and probably never would. It was a great deal of attention. It had always been.

    [...]

    "She is like you," Ilya said, into his hair. "In here." Shane felt, rather than saw, the gesture—Ilya pressing a hand briefly to his own chest. "The way you were."

    "I wasn't—"

    "Да, детка.You were." Shane huffed out a breath, and Ilya squeezed the side of his stomach with amused affection. “When I was trying to find you, you were just like this: present and also somewhere very far away, so careful with everything, and impossible to reach unless you wanted to be." A pause. "It took time. You needed time, a lot of it, and I had to trust that. And eventually, I found you.”

    His voice lowered, guttural. "And I will always find you."

     

     

    ilya, shane, & their middle daughter—as seen by each other.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,834
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    267
    Bookmarks:
    98
    Hits:
    4,963

    13 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Beautiful. Send to kindle.

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane doesn’t realize he’s braced for silent eyes until he feels the absence of it — the weight of teammates immediately finding him and going quiet, waiting for him to fuck up, to say the wrong thing, to exist wrong. He expects the chatter of a room to drop when he enters and its disconcerting to find it doesn't yet in Ottawa.

    He stands at the entrance a beat too long.

    --

    It’s the start of Shane Hollander’s first season in Ottawa and he should be settled. The Centaurs are friendly, the room is easy, and Ilya is finally close enough to touch. But, as Shane is intimately aware of, old habits learned the hard way will linger.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,982
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    514
    Kudos:
    8,498
    Bookmarks:
    1,879
    Hits:
    112,791

    02 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Send to kindle 💯

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    When it happens the puck has just left his stick.

    It's a clean hit, but Shane takes it horribly, crumbling on impact and colliding with the boards. While he tries valiantly to keep his head up, he feels himself slide sideways and his last fully coherent thought occurs as his head cracks against both the ice and the bottom edge of the boards.

    Immediately, the arena starts to wilt.

    “… We just want a future.”

    “I have only been in love with one person…”

    Shane falls backwards and sinks, the ice turning to water beneath him.

    “Holy shit. I love you too…”

    “I love you…”

    The words—memories?— are swimming amongst him, angled and distorted; they consume him, they’re are all he can process, even as someone else—a medic, maybe?— on the periphery now, says, "Just stay still Hollander."

    -

    Or, upon appearing in a parallel world, canon-Shane is on a mission to fix AU-Shane's fucked-up life. Stat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,806
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    219
    Kudos:
    764
    Bookmarks:
    301
    Hits:
    12,148

    27 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    WIP on ch 2

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The summer before his second season with the Centaurs, Shane Hollander is supposed to have his body and his life under control. He’s married, training hard, doing everything right.

    So the nausea, the bone-deep exhaustion, the aching chest and low back, the way his body feels wrong in all the old ways he thought he’d outrun?

    He blames stress. He blames the season. He blames anything but himself.

    Shane knows his body. He has spent years fighting for it.

    But one rushed doctor’s visit turns into an ultrasound, and suddenly he’s thirty-plus weeks pregnant with a baby he didn’t plan, didn’t want, and doesn’t know how to make peace with.

    Now he can’t outrun anything anymore.
    Not the dysphoria. Not the fear of the league finding out.
    Not the family he’s already carrying.

    ---

    hi i need more trans!shane hollander. and as a trans man who wants to get pregnant someday obviously i had to make shane pregnant. without him knowing though. sorry bb

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    108,452
    Chapters:
    17/25
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    1,996
    Kudos:
    7,709
    Bookmarks:
    2,380
    Hits:
    292,905

    26 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    WIP ch 17

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Four years after their messy breakup, Shane Hollander posts a birthday photo of a little girl.

    The hockey world quickly realizes the little girl has Shane’s freckles, Ilya Rozanov’s face—and is exactly the same age as the years since they broke up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,591
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    260
    Kudos:
    1,424
    Bookmarks:
    496
    Hits:
    38,403

    25 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    WIP, currently on ch 8

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Teammates,” Taylor echoed, his gaze drifting. Slowly, deliberately, to the ring on Ilya’s left hand. He did not look away immediately. He let the silence stretch until it became noticeable.

    Shane felt the first flicker of unease then—not jealousy, not yet, but something colder. A sense of being assessed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,828
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    138
    Kudos:
    4,431
    Bookmarks:
    648
    Hits:
    39,708

    25 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    russianstallion messages hollabackgirl on Grindr for some fun, but then they keep showing up at the same places, conveniently right when Boston and Montreal have a game against each other.

    ---
    Shane and Ilya, unbeknownst to each other, are sexting on Grindr while still being rivals on the ice.

    *SMAU that was previously uploaded to twitter is now on ao3 for ease of reading*

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,249
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    928
    Kudos:
    17,195
    Bookmarks:
    4,028
    Hits:
    137,493

    23 Apr 2026

  18. Public Bookmark 2881

    Mystery Work

    Part of AZRAELRIEGO
    Summary

    This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!

    22 Apr 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Shane…”

    “Who the fuck do you think you’re calling Shane?”

    “Sweetheart,” Ilya corrects, tilting his head down against Shane’s grip on his hair to try to catch his lips. “Please.”

    “I can do everything she can,” Shane says. “But you’ve been a bit too naughty today. I’m tying you up first.”

    “Oh, no,” Ilya says, voice going high and breathy. “That’s terrible.”

    Or - The jealous Shane/pathetic top Ilya fic where Shane makes Ilya beg for it

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,400
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    401
    Kudos:
    25,162
    Bookmarks:
    5,120
    Hits:
    325,705

    11 Apr 2026

  20. Public Bookmark 5

    Tags
    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    136
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    9,429

    04 Apr 2026

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