Monksterr



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    “They need to return to a conference based system,” Svetlana said, slamming her hand against the table. “It was fucking fine the way it was, why are we handing out participation trophies to shitty divisions?”

    Ilya raised his eyebrows from where he hovered in the kitchen, cracking open another Red Bull.

    “This is fun,” he said, deadpanned. “You guys should start a podcast or something. I would not listen, you are both terribly boring.”

    * * *

    Or, after an injury on the ice forces Shane into an early retirement, he and Svetlana start a podcast.

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    10 Apr 2026

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    Cliff Marleau can be a dumbass, it’s fair to say - anyone can, some people would claim it more likely for men, and some people would certainly claim that being in a profession that involves violence, speed, and sharp things, and a ridiculous amount of travel all on a regular basis would make it pretty likely for someone to be a dumbass. He does dumb shit sometimes, but it’s usually pretty basic.

    Actually, how this started was years ago, when he still felt just barely out of being a rookie himself and Coach asked him to keep a watch on their new Russian rookie Ilya Rozanov, now Boston’s captain and one of Cliff’s good friends.

    And Cliff is pretty damn curious about the girlfriend Ilya swears he doesn’t want to have.

    OR: Cliff's investment in getting Ilya to admit he's more invested than normal in Montreal Jane throws him and the Boston Raiders down the path of queer allyship.

    title from 'Bejeweled' by Taylor Swift.

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    08 Apr 2026

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    Coach LeClair decides it would be good for the team to practice yoga and Shane Hollander just happens to be a yoga instructor. The team doesn't want to do yoga at first but grow to enjoy it and also start really liking Shane. Ilya is still struggling with how hot he finds Shane. This takes place in 2013(ish) but Shane and Ilyas first time at the hotel is real.

    ------

    “My lungs are perfect. They are picture of health. So, you are going to show us how to bend over professionally today?” Ilya definitely meant to say those exact words, hoping to get a reaction out of Shane, which he got in the form of a blush.

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    07 Apr 2026

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    It's not the worst thing Cliff's ever done, by far, but he wouldn't exactly say he's proud of it either. It's surprisingly easy to get the number from Roz's phone, despite it being practically glued to his hand all the time. But 8 shots and 3 beers will do that to a man, Cliff supposes - even a Russian one.

    He's doing this for Roz, and for the team. Sure, the boys had probably been joking when they'd mentioned going "straight to source" to solve The Montreal Jane Problem, but the last 6 weeks had been frankly unbearable. He wasn't sure what exactly Roz had done, but it had to be fixable. They'd been texting for years, for christ's sake. Undoubtedly messy and unconventional, but clearly this Jane was way more important than Roz was willing to admit. Maybe even to himself.

    Maybe that was the problem.
    _________________

    (Or, Cliff starts texting "Jane" before the 2017 All Star Game, and things sort of go from there.)

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    07 Apr 2026

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    If Shane didn’t know better and believed in the existence of mermaids, he’d swear this man was the real deal. Each scale on his silicone tail is carefully painted, and looks to be hand sculpted. The webbing of each of the five fins on the suit is fine and delicate, floating through the water and creating an ethereal effect. The man has even used make up to blend the scales into his hips, making a seamless line between his silicone tail and his skin. He’s even gone so far as to attach what Shane has to assume are silicone gills to his ribs which also flutter in the manmade current of the tank as he laughs and twirls for the children, then swims up to the surface and breaks for air.

    Okay, maybe Shane has been standing here mesmerized. Whoops.

    OR, Shane is a marine biologist who works at the Ottawa Aquarium. Ilya is an aquarium mermaid, and Shane is absolutely mesmerized.

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    30 Mar 2026