Notes_of_notes
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"Jamie’s fairly certain at this point that it is the natural order of things: you have to go out and drag joy home by the ear if you want any. So, he’s got no problem with that, he never did really. It’s just, well, it’s been increasingly difficult to do that. Or to feel anything other than… He’s not entirely sure what to call the weight pressing down on his chest when he sits in the locker room before training, but it’s that. All the time. And it is fucking Zava’s fault."
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The evening before Richmond's last training for the Boxing Day fixture, Jamie feels so alone that he decides to go and buy a Christmas tree for the first time in his life. He gets in a car accident on his way there.
He's not sure how he could have alerted anyone of that fact with his phone gone and probably broken to pieces, but people seem weirdly mad about it. Jamie's convinced that's also Zava's fault.
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Jamie goes down hard during the last match of the season and struggles to determine his worth outside football. Ted would like to stop seeing his boys get hurt on the field. Roy seeks to become emotionally well-adjusted and possibly even Jamie's close friend.
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“It’ll take two seconds,” Higgins says. “I like to keep up to date with all the players, you know. I just thought, well, you moved recently. And your emergency contact.”
He pauses here, and Jamie raises an eyebrow. His emergency contact? He’d probably filled out some joke response last time, hadn’t he. Fucking Queen of England, Boris Johnson’s wife, something good.
“Oi, let’s see it then,” and Higgins passes over the paper like it’s a live bomb, and Jamie scans down to where he sees his own handwriting sitting over a few dotted lines, and, well. It sure ain’t the Queen.
or: Jamie goes through a series of unfortunate events, changes his emergency contact a few times, and considers the possibility that maybe, actually, letting other people help isn’t all bad after all.
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The moment Jamie punches his dad, he knows this isn't over. Knows his dad can't let this slide. He doesn't expect anything less than retribution when he goes home.
Roy realizes in a split second that Jamie is made up of a thousand tiny instances that Roy has never witnessed. And he's not the selfish prick that Roy painted him out to be.
"Things start to improve. It’s a slow gradual pace, but it’s better than nothing, and Roy stops ignoring him. Ted still keeps on with his eternal cheeriness and his team starts inviting him places again. He goes to the pub with Isaac and Dani and the black hole feels a little smaller that night. And he thinks he can survive like this.
He’s learned his lesson this time, he really has. He’s not going to push for more than he deserves and he’s not going to pretend he deserves the same love that the rest of the team does. He so thoroughly burned that bridge it’s nothing but ashes. You can’t build shit out of ashes."
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Jamie thinks if these were normal people - normal friends, they probably wouldn’t care as much as they do. Wouldn’t be this perceptive. However, he has somehow managed to make best friends with none other than Dani Rojas and Sam Obisanya. They are both warm rays of warm sunshine. Cups of tea on cold days. Bright lights at the end of a tunnel. Warmth and hope, and friendship.
Surprisingly, also two of the most perceptive players on the team, and bloody traitors apparently.
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Or a series of times when Jamie realises he has actual friends now, who actually care about his well-being; enough to tattle on him every time something bad happens. Sick, hurt and misunderstood Jamie being looked after by the team.
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