OrpheeCoffee
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"And then one day, I saw one of your plays. And for the first time, theatre was more."
Hal and Bolaire meet in a theatre. Or rather, Bolaire meets Hal, and tries to gather some information about the comedian who finally inspired him.
A silly little fic in the form of a play to channel my obsession with these two characters and their relationship.
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How to live as one (and die as one, too, but hopefully much later) by OrpheeCoffee
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
03 Jul 2022
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Ed was holding out a ring, his hands starting to shake as he waited on one knee, anxiously looking up.
Stede knew he had to say something. Had to answer. He couldn’t leave Ed waiting like this. He opened his mouth, but his tongue froze before it could move, his throat tightened so the sound wouldn’t get through. The panic was becoming unbearable. So he did what he’d always done best. What he’d done with Mary, with his children, with his father, his estate, and hell, even with Ed, though that was his greatest regret.
He ran away.
Or: Ed proposes; Stede panics; Ed mysteriously disappears; adventures ensue.
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and lifted its whisper to my thirsty lips by Bagheera
Fandoms: The Mighty Nein (Cartoon), Critical Role: Exandria (Web Series)
09 Jun 2026
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Caleb's amulet breaks before he ever meets Nott and he runs to the one part of Exandria where Volstruckers might not follow. Meanwhile, Essek Thelyss is still considering how best to commit treason and heresy.
COMPLETE as of 9/6/26
Bookmarked by OrpheeCoffee
08 Apr 2026
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The Empire is winning the war. In the wake of his master's death, Volstrucker Bren ascended to Archmage of Civil Influence, but he's been secretly undermining the Empire by feeding intelligence to the Mighty Nein, a group of adventurers fighting for peace. When his rival and friend the Shadowhand is captured, Bren acts on the only idea that will spare a Kryn politician from execution: claiming him as a war prize.
Bren and Essek are forced to perform a fake politican/concubine relationship, including all the tension and jingoism it entails, while taking advantage of their circumstances to spy on and steal from the court around them. Bren may wield the leash, but Essek has cards up his sleeve, and even so, Bren fears hurting Essek almost as much as Essek fears losing Bren. Their mutual trepidation must graduate to mutual trust — maybe even love — if they have any hope of surviving the lie they started.
Bookmarked by OrpheeCoffee
11 Mar 2026
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THELYSS: I think I could have floated beside him in stasis forever, ignoring the obvious. Once he offered the precise object of my desire, which I had been concealing from even myself, I panicked.
INTERVIEWER: And what did you say to him?
THELYSS: We fought about it. We had to. In the Nein, it is prerequisite for doing anything.
WIDOGAST: In the end, it was about fear, as it always is.
— The Mighty Nein's rocket to fame involves more drama, mystery, abuse, sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll than any columnist can resist, but media accounts until now have been mostly secondhand. Tabloids and vultures run with the facts in the opposite direction, smearing half-truths and outrageous accusations onto any blank space, taking silence for admission.
It definitely doesn’t help that Thelyss admitted to stealing the Mouthpiece of the Luxon on national telellusion.
The following timeline contextualizes Widogast and Thelyss’s individual music careers, their collaborations, and the events surrounding a) the crimes of Volstrucker Records CEO Trent Ikithon, and b) Ikithon and Martinet Ludinus Da’leth’s undiscussed roles in the Mouthpiece of the Luxon Scandal.
Bookmarked by OrpheeCoffee
26 Feb 2026
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The fact that six mercenaries and a weasel have stowed away on the highest-security vessel in the Dynasty’s fleet is, technically, a serious problem that bodes poorly for the rest of their journey. But Essek is delighted. He’d been dreading a long and tense voyage to Mutalos, without any company except for a skeleton crew comprised mostly of military personnel, the awkward spare scourger, and his—
It feels strange, to think of Becke as his wife. Even calling her his enemy feels too intimate.
(In which Essek agrees to a political marriage to ensure intergalactic peace and keep himself alive, only to discover that his wife has married him for exactly the opposite reason.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 200,250
- Chapters:
- 41/42
- Comments:
- 724
- Kudos:
- 684
- Bookmarks:
- 153
- Hits:
- 21,702
Bookmarked by OrpheeCoffee
14 Feb 2026
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“You accused me of treating this like a game. I am sorry if I’ve led you to believe that it is only a game—though I won't deny that part of it is.” Bren gives a disarming smile. “My life is either games or murder, after all.”
“Or mail fraud,” Thelyss says dryly, not even a little disarmed.
“The mail fraud is a sort of game as well.”
A sigh. “Is this your way of telling me that you intend to continue playing?”
Bren smiles again, sharper. “If you would let me.”(In which Bren Aldric Ermendrud decides to seduce the Shadowhand and finds that the best way to convince someone to be vulnerable with you is to be vulnerable in turn.)
Series
- Part 1 of aBiA
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 103,603
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Comments:
- 895
- Kudos:
- 1,442
- Bookmarks:
- 402
- Hits:
- 33,401
Bookmarked by OrpheeCoffee
30 Dec 2025