ProfessionalProcratinator
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Summary
What happens when Danzo goes for the Hyuga Clan instead of the Uchihas? Sure, he wanted Izanagi, but what if he thought the Hyugas were more threatening in all their child-enslaving glory, instead of the Uchihas in their self-inflicted Curse of Hatred? I mean, most people did think that they released Kurama on the village.
This is also an excuse to write a Hyuga SI, 'cause those are so rare. -
Spite Is All You Need To Survive by ProfessionalProcratinator
Fandoms: Naruto (Anime & Manga)
04 Jun 2026
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Summary
Tsunade defects, Orochimaru is a great best freind, and everyone is given free therapy.
Or alternatively; The Slug Sannin had enough of Konoha and killed Danzo wayyyyy early. This causes a lot of problems, like well, the fact that Tsuande is a fugitive now. And Akatsuki. And scary.
And when Team 7 trains under their respective Sannins, Sakura defects and goes to Tsunade. That changes things. -
The Leaf Village Diplomacy (and Other Bedtime Stories) by ProfessionalProcratinator
Fandoms: Naruto (Anime & Manga), Boruto (Anime & Manga)
02 Jun 2026
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Naruto looked instantly nervous, sweating through his orange jacket. “Hina-chan, maybe—I mean, you haven't eaten much rice yet—”
“Good for you,” Ino chimed in, resting her chin lazily on Sai’s shoulder. Sakura nodded in fierce agreement, sake sloshing dangerously over the rim of her cup. “Husbands are a little annoying after a while. That’s why I divorced Sasuke, you know. He’s a useless dickbag. Doesn’t even know how to f—”
Naruto violently choked on his alcohol, coughing into his fist. “Wait, what?! Why didn’t I know that—when did this happen?!”
Recent bookmarks
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Astronomy In Reverse by pansley
Fandoms: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
14 Mar 2021
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A year after the Winter Soldier failed his mission in DC, Bucky Barnes is doing his best to stay under the radar from both Hydra and Steve Rogers. His hope for a peaceful day-to-day life in limbo goes awry, however, when he meets Queens’ newest hero; a pure-hearted kid with a death wish and a ridiculous pair of red and blue pajamas.
The last thing Steve expects when he finally tracks Bucky down is that, not only has the man been living in Queens all this time, right under his nose, but also that, in the two years since they last saw each other, Bucky somehow acquired a kid.
Alternatively: How Peter Parker effectively fucks over Bucky Barnes, and also totally saves him.
Fanart by Monireh on AO3 and tumblr
Series
- Part 1 of Winter!Dad
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 184,784
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Comments:
- 7,011
- Kudos:
- 51,108
- Bookmarks:
- 14,452
- Hits:
- 1,445,501
Bookmarked by ProfessionalProcratinator
27 Apr 2026
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Summary
Okiya Subaru disappears after Vermouth orders his execution, presumed dead.
So what does a black cat have to do with it?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 57,140
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Comments:
- 125
- Kudos:
- 931
- Bookmarks:
- 142
- Hits:
- 14,984
Bookmarked by ProfessionalProcratinator
18 Apr 2026
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Summary
Monachopsis
(mon-a-cop-sis)The subtle, but persistent feeling of being out of place.
Series
- Part 1 of Words to A Face
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,000
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 283
- Kudos:
- 3,281
- Bookmarks:
- 891
- Hits:
- 76,086
Bookmarked by ProfessionalProcratinator
14 Apr 2026