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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Oh my god,” the intruder says, voice coming faster and higher-pitched. “Shane, what the fuck? Oh my god.”

    “Eeleeyah, come to my cottage,” Ilya mocks, voice muffled by Shane’s skin. “Don’t go to Russia. Come to my house instead. Is so private. No one will know…we will be completely alone. Together.”

    “Oh my god, is that Ilya Rozanov?” the intruder yelps like he's about to start hyperventilating. “Why is Ilya Rozanov half-naked in our kitchen, Shane?”

    “Okay, I know how this looks,” Shane tells Ilya, “But I mean, technically, we are still alone. Together.”

    or,

    At the cottage, Shane and Ilya meet eighteen year old Shane Hollander. This is really only a surprise for one of them. Everyone handles it as well as can be expected.

    Series
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    1/1
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    10 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    'This is what happens when the social media manager for the Ottawa Centaurs just finished rewatching the entirety of The Office for the 3rd time'

    “What a fucking nerd,” Ilya laughed, his eyes following Shane across the ice. The camera swung between them before eventually landing back on Ilya.

    “I want to eat him,”

    Luca blinked at him, horror slowly etching onto his face.

    “Like...sexually or...literally?

    Behind the camera, Harris cleared his throat to remind them of his presence. Ilya’s eyes never left Shane, who was still berating Troy by citing some charts from his clipboard.

    “Yes,” 

    Haas looked into the camera in utter fear.

    Alternatively, The Office Fic

    Language:
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    39,725
    Chapters:
    7/7
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    26 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”

    “Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”

    Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.

     

    In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.

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    English
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    118,812
    Chapters:
    8/8
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    04 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane makes a list: reasons to Come Out on one side and to Stay Safe on the other. It's definitely not meant to accidentally star in the background of his mom's Instagram post for fans to find.

    But now that the world knows, maybe Shane can finally let himself have everything he's wanted.

    If only Ilya didn't go out and get engaged the next day. Which is fine! Rozanov was settling down? Shane could settle down, too. He would find himself a nice man.

    Language:
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    10,779
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    27 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Well, they had pretty good steak, but I don’t know if they’d have anything you would like,” Hayden says, and kicks off his shoes. He falls onto his bed with a contented sigh, then looks over at Shane, who hasn’t said anything yet. “Shane? You good?”

    Shane means to say he’s fine, but what comes out instead is: “Rose is having a baby.”

    Hayden sits up abruptly.

    “Whoa,” he says. “You’re serious?”

    “Yeah,” says Shane. “She just called me. She took three tests.”

    “Been there, brother,” says Hayden, his eyes wide. Shane puts his head in his hands again.

    ~

    A few weeks after Rose and Shane split up, Rose discovers that she's pregnant. Overwhelmed by the prospect of fatherhood, Shane puts off confronting Ilya about his feelings, and they never hook up at the All-Stars Game. They find their way back to each other anyway.

    Language:
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    26 Apr 2026