1 - 20 of 73 Bookmarks by getophobic
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"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”
Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.
Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the no-good, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?
Forget this. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.
And so begins one man's journey to save himself from his awful destiny.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 559,991
- Chapters:
- 46/46
- Collections:
- 55
- Comments:
- 29,537
- Kudos:
- 47,731
- Bookmarks:
- 7,712
- Hits:
- 2,180,334
Bookmarked by getophobic
13 Jul 2025
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Diluc’s fingers dig into the warm earth as he holds himself up so he doesn’t drop his full weight on Kaeya. His heart is beating, strong and certain, filled with emotions he hasn’t let himself feel in a long time. Kaeya lies on the ground beneath him just the way he fell, his hair spread out and his loose open shirt slipping from his chest to reveal even more of his bare skin.
He’s beautiful. He’s so beautiful Diluc can’t stop staring, not that he honestly tries, can’t stop wanting to burn this image into his mind for all eternity.
Bookmarked by getophobic
23 Jul 2024
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There have been rumours of 'vampires', lately, creatures from folklore, but of course vampires aren't real. Even so, Mondstadt's citizens are worried, and so Kaeya is sent off to investigate.
He wasn't expecting what - who - he found, but... Well, he's always been one to make the best of an interesting situation.
[ Inspired by an idea from fayto on twitter! ]
Bookmarked by getophobic
23 Jul 2024
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Straight at the Sun by diamondbruise
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
14 Nov 2021
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"Wei Ying–” Lan Zhan started, voice a little bit hoarse. Wei Wuxian turned his face towards him, smiling.
“Aiyo, let me guess. You’ll take responsibility?” He snorted softly, putting on an air of nonchalance. “Don’t worry about it too much, Lan Zhan! We’re both men, right? Sometimes men do these kinds of things with their friends, so you definitely shouldn’t worry about it!”
or, wwx and lwj have sex and pine
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,729
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 628
- Kudos:
- 7,842
- Bookmarks:
- 2,181
- Hits:
- 92,587
Bookmarked by getophobic
29 Mar 2022
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we don't need to talk about it by vesna (mrsronweasley)
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
13 Mar 2022
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"Huh." Wei Ying thought it over. He didn't have much choice—if he wanted to live close to the university without having a commute that was over an hour long, he needed this place. The idea formed easily, and honestly, he couldn't see any problem with it. "So wanna pretend to be a couple?"
Lan Zhan's eyebrow twitched, the only sign that Wei Ying had surprised him. Wei Ying watched him carefully as he took a sip of his tea, set the cup down, and leaned back in his seat. "Very well."
Pretending to date to get an apartment? What could possibly go wrong? The Wangxian Story.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,657
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 337
- Kudos:
- 3,670
- Bookmarks:
- 935
- Hits:
- 49,681
Bookmarked by getophobic
16 Mar 2022
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kiss with a fist by daltoneering
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
30 Dec 2020
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Wei Ying has left a hickey on his neck. To any other eye, it will look like a bruise from a fight, but he knows how it got there. He brushes his fingers over it quietly, and thinks, if this is the only way I can keep him with me, I would let him mark me up like a child with a paintbrush and an entire blank wall. If he were in the business of taking people, like so many in our world are, I would let him take me, and I would let him keep me.
;
Lan Zhan [//Hanguang-jun] isn't one of the best agents in the world for nothing. He would be the best, perhaps, were it not the infuriating and annoyingly hot enigmatic rogue agent [//The Yiling Laozu] who is determined to fight him at every chance they get. And maybe not-fight him too, if one of them remembers the lube. It’s a never-ending dance to crown the victor of their adrenaline-fuelled rivalry.
That is until Lan Zhan is sent on a mission to recover a deadly weapon from one of the biggest crime families in the business—and has to find out whose side the Yiling Laozu is on once and for all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,436
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 253
- Kudos:
- 2,697
- Bookmarks:
- 738
- Hits:
- 31,055
Bookmarked by getophobic
28 Feb 2022
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like a magpie and a ring by martyrsdaughter for popeleoxiv
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
13 Nov 2021
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Summary
“Don’t worry,” Wei Wuxian said, patting Lan Wangji’s bicep. “I remember how you reacted to seeing porn; since you don’t know anything, I’ll take the lead.”
Lan Wangji didn’t acknowledge him, not even with a single sound. Wei Wuxian was expecting something like that. It wasn’t like Lan Wangji was fond of such vulgar topics, prudish as he was.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,786
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 247
- Kudos:
- 4,326
- Bookmarks:
- 970
- Hits:
- 50,181
Bookmarked by getophobic
27 Feb 2022
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Lavender Blue by anaphoricae
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
24 Feb 2022
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Lan Zhan isn’t a curious man when it comes to other people's business, but if this person is gonna scream and ruin his quiet moment alone, he wants to see who it is.
He's almost turning back inside, tired of waiting, when the man in red raises his eyes and finds him.
For a second, he is frozen in place. The man catches him red handed, meeting his gaze head-on, and Lan Zhan feels his ears blushing despite his frustration. The man looks confused, and then intrigued. Lan Zhan thinks he will have no problem remembering him tomorrow. He has very… distinguishing features.
When the man’s face turns into a full grin, Lan Zhan turns around and goes back inside.
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Lan Zhan meets an infuriating florist while he's working as the cook in a wedding. Wei Ying is loud, annoying and childish, and Lan Zhan can't wait for the time when this wedding is done so he never has to see him again. Surely, the world isn't so small that they would meet a second time.
Right?(or, the Cook/Florist AU)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,298
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 1,036
- Kudos:
- 7,196
- Bookmarks:
- 1,610
- Hits:
- 77,869
Bookmarked by getophobic
27 Feb 2022
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varied my velocities by fantasiavii
Fandoms: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
22 Feb 2022
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Summary
"Sorry," Wei Ying says again when the combination comes to an end. "I totally didn't mean to kick you."
"Pay attention," Lan Zhan says.
Wei Ying kicks Lan Zhan three more times at the barre. He apologizes each time.
"Are you okay?" Wei Ying asks when barre exercises are over.
"Are you incapable of following a beat?" Lan Zhan replies.
The Yunmeng Heroes football team comes to take ballet classes at Lan Zhan's school. It turns Lan Zhan's entire world upside down.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,876
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 476
- Kudos:
- 5,389
- Bookmarks:
- 1,261
- Hits:
- 69,745
Bookmarked by getophobic
27 Feb 2022
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We Eat the World Raw by sunandseas
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
25 Feb 2022
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Summary
The sects have decided the best way to get to the Yiling Laozu was to hurt the one he loved most--except, what they didn't know, is that they just about made the biggest mistake of their lives.
--
The one where Lan Wangji is cursed and dying and Wei Wuxian goes on a rampage.
Series
- Part 2 of When is a Monster not a Monster?
Bookmarked by getophobic
26 Feb 2022
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Summary
Eula, Rosaria and Kaeya are drinking together again and as usual Kaeya (the poor lightweight) gets carried off while Eula and Rosaria stay behind...
Bookmarked by getophobic
15 Feb 2022
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baby i'm down for all your bad ideas by fallingraine85 for Sunflower_Raine
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
11 Apr 2021
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Summary
This isn't his business, Aether knows. No matter what is going on in that room right now, no matter how inconceivable a scenario it might be, he has no right to eavesdrop or investigate. He's familiar with the saying, curiosity killed the cat, and he knows he'd do well to take the adage to heart. Whatever is going on in that room has nothing to do with him, and he needs to turn around right now, go to the guest room that Diluc is so graciously lending him, and go to sleep.
Like a cat with a death-wish, he doesn't turn around; he keeps moving forward, one foot in front of the other, spurred on by the pull low in his gut—this feeling that he's failing spectacularly at pretending is non-existent, especially when it's screaming at him louder than anything else.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,929
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 142
- Kudos:
- 1,308
- Bookmarks:
- 249
- Hits:
- 21,666
Bookmarked by getophobic
04 Dec 2021
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After several weeks of being blue balled by his own ability to get off after hearing his roommate moan ONCE through his door, Diluc tries the arguably sketchy website that a friend from college suggests to help him get off.
Sometimes, all you need is a little bit of a private show.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,754
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 546
- Kudos:
- 6,318
- Bookmarks:
- 809
- Hits:
- 107,798
Bookmarked by getophobic
30 Nov 2021
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"Do you understand its meaning, Childe?" He finally asks. There's a hard glint in his eyes, like he's trying to steel himself for his answer.
"Yeah." Loyalty and devotion, right? Between business partners? "I do. It's traditional, isn't it?"
Zhongli's eyes glow a warm amber in the near darkness, reflecting the soft shine of the lanterns. He studies his face with a strange intensity, as though Childe were a piece of high quality Nocticulous Jade being sold for suspiciously small sum and he's trying to find the blemishes that would explain the price. The weight of his gaze should be uncomfortable, boring into him like he can see into the very depths of his abyss-tainted soul, but Childe finds himself preening under the attention instead.
Childe accidentally proposes to Zhongli. Zhongli accepts.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 79,488
- Chapters:
- 7/10
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 487
- Kudos:
- 2,824
- Bookmarks:
- 720
- Hits:
- 68,419
Bookmarked by getophobic
30 Nov 2021
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Zhongli tossed his spear forward with a practiced, careless ease that left Childe breathless. Seemingly in slow motion, Zhongli raised a foot, kicking the butt of the spear with enough force that Childe could hear a solid thunk all the way where he stood. The spear was sent spiraling forward, piercing straight through the armored chest of the ruin guard, ending it's sad, mechanical life instantly.
Distantly, Childe was overcome by the very sudden and out of nowhere thought that he wouldn’t mind having Zhongli kick his spleen in half with the same force.
--
Or, Childe is a Zhongli simp and doesn't know how to deal with it, Zhongli is a himbo, and the two are stuck out in the wilderness on a pointless fetch quest because I needed a reason for them to run into ruin guards. Also hair braiding because why not.
Bookmarked by getophobic
23 Nov 2021
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exodus 20:3: you shall have no other gods before me by birdsofpassage
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
30 Oct 2020
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Childe finds out that the alcohol in Liyue is a force to be reckoned with. It leads to much more than just a hangover.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,025
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 317
- Kudos:
- 12,492
- Bookmarks:
- 1,504
- Hits:
- 180,825
Bookmarked by getophobic
23 Nov 2021
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Summary
The hem of his shirt brushes against Zhongli’s soft pale thighs, barely covering his underwear. If Zhongli were to stretch just a little, his shirt would hike up and expose his navel, and the thought alone sends blood rushing to his head.
“Childe?” Zhongli walks over. “Are you alright?”
“Yes,” he croaks, pretending he didn’t think that Zhongli looked outrageously pretty in his clothes.
“Your face is red. Have you fallen ill?”
“No, no, no. I’m fine. I’m peachy. ” He says, like a liar.
During a storm, Childe gets seduced.
Bookmarked by getophobic
23 Nov 2021
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Childe meets Zhongli before he finds the Geo Archon.
Bookmarked by getophobic
23 Nov 2021
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“I believe, it is the same way you did not choose to give yourself the well-endowment that you possess.” Zhongli addresses him with his stomach grinded on him. And Childe can’t help but to laugh,
“Did you just use a long and elaborate way to flatter my size?” and adore Zhongli more. Makes him want to tease and challenge him so he straightens from his embrace and starts,
“You know, you can be so cunning with your words.” slamming down his hips against him unceremoniously with frustrating unpremeditated rhythms,
“I hope you’re ready to get wrung out, because I’m going to send you straight to heaven.”
Bookmarked by getophobic
21 Nov 2021
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A clause in the contract where Zhongli gave up his Gnosis stated that he could make use of any Fatui-owned service for free. Then, the Fatui in Liyue buys over the Pearl Galley and Childe has to manage it. Knowing this, Zhongli decides to take advantage of it.
or Zhongli abuses a loophole to get Childe in bed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,659
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 17
- Kudos:
- 1,081
- Bookmarks:
- 128
- Hits:
- 17,288
Bookmarked by getophobic
21 Nov 2021