Chapter Text
“Seven hells, Ned,” the King groaned. “What do you want me to do? I’m up to my neck in Lannisters, Lannister gold and Lannister shit. I can’t just send Jaime Lannister to The Wall because you say he attacked your men.”
“Robert,” the Hand replied, losing patience. “You sit on the Iron Throne, not Tywin Lannister. You can’t let the Kingslayer get away with flaunting your laws because of who his father is.”
“What you need to do, brother, is find a way to punish the Kingslayer without offending Tywin Lannister,” Renly suggested.
“Renly, I made you Master of Laws, do your job. I want to finish this business and go hunting. What do you suggest?” Robert asked.
Renly drew himself to his full height, pleased that his brother asked for his advice. “Punish Jaime by making Robert Arryn the Warden of the East and remove him from the Kingsguard. You can banish him from King’s Landing, but you’ll be giving Tywin Lannister his heir back. It’s a fair trade.”
“That’s hardly a punishment,” Ned Stark scoffed. “The Kingslayer has no respect for the white cloak. He won’t care to lose it.”
“Ned’s right, Renly,” Robert agreed. “The man has no honor to lose.”
“And,” Ned added, “is it wise to let Tywin Lannister make a powerful match for him? You’ve shown me the Tyrell girl, Renly. She’d be a bride for Jaime, the rest of the Seven Kingdoms be damned.”
“Robert, you’d have to find a wife for him, before his father could, maybe a lesser bride? The Lannisters won’t like that, but they won’t fight it.”
“But who?” wondered Ned. “My Arya is too young for a man grown. Arianne Martell is too powerful, and the Lannisters certainly won’t accept Lysa Aaryn now. I’m sure there’s a Frey girl, although she won’t be a pretty bride.”
Suddenly Robert started laughing. “Renly,” he exclaimed through his gasps, “who was that maid from the Stormlands you told me about? The one who defeated old Ser Humfrey Wagstaff when he told her he would expect her in dresses, not mail?”
“Brienne of Tarth?”
“That’s it! Brienne of Tarth. Is she betrothed again? Has her father found a man who can beat her in a fight?”
“No,” Renly said. “He’s made no more matches for her.”
“Is it true she’s the ugliest maid in Westeros?” Robert asked curiously.
Renly nodded. “I danced with her once at Evenfall. She had little wit and even less beauty. She’d be a poor match for the Kingslayer,” Renly finished, starting to pity the girl.
“Not that poor,” Ned offered. “Ugly or not, she’s the Evenstar’s heir. It’s little enough punishment for the Kingslayer.”
“Jaime will have to be pretty enough for the both of them. Cersei will rage at me, but unless Jaime wants to keep rotting in his cell, he’ll marry the girl,” Robert concluded. “Tywin Lannister won’t care as long as he beds her and gives him heirs.”
“And Ned,” Renly continued, “we’ll keep him out of King’s Landing.”
Ned gave him a wan smile. Robert’s mind was made up. Whether it was wise to send Jaime Lannister outside their reach or not, the Kingslayer would soon be back at Casterly Rock with a bride. There was nothing Ned could do or say to stop it.
“Renly, send a raven to Tarth! We’re to have a wedding,” Robert said, laughing uproariously again. “We’ll wed the Kingslayer to the ugliest maid in Westeros. Oh, will this be one for the singers.”