Chapter Text
[Woo<3. 02:45pm] are you still in class?
[me. 02:50pm] almost done.
[Woo<3. 02:50pm] great!! i'll wait for you in cafetaria. as usual. see you <3
Hyungwon brushed his bang out of his line of vision. Class was almost over, only 10 more minutes. But he wished it would last longer. No, not because the class was interesting; but he did not want to meet the person who expected his presence.
Of course, luck wasn't on his side. The professor didn't hear his prayer and closed his laptop when it's exactly 3:00 pm and asked a guy who sat right in front of his desk to clean the blackboard. Class was officially over and Hyungwon felt like his heart moved down further to his feet.
The tall guy hated himself for not dreading that day as much as he was supposed to be. He was about to break up with his recent boyfriend for a reason that even for himself was...weird, almost unfair. On top of that, they had not been dating for a long time. They just passed their three months mark few days ago but Hyungwon already felt heavy since the beginning. He thought about all the consequences and how to word it to Wonwoo, his current boyfriend, very very carefully, to make it less hurtful for the younger, but he could not come to another good conclusion other than being completely honest about his feelings towards Wonwoo. Even Kihyun and Minhyuk frowned at his confession. But they luckily understood and encouraged Hyungwon's true intention. They said 'before it gets too far, it's better to break it now.' Hyungwon agreed with that.
Bag slid on one of his shoulder, Hyungwon slipped his phone inside his jeans' pocket and dragged his long legs towards cafetaria where his boyfriend was already waiting. He met Wonwoo in one of the campus event 8 months ago. There was an annual event that would be held in their university and Hyungwon was dragged by the ever over-participative Lee Minhyuk to be one of the staff. Hyungwon refused the offer more times than what he could remember from his AP Psychology class but Minhyuk was a sly fox and he had known Hyungwon for years. The blonde guy wasted no time to hit his weakness.
Fast forward 5 months later, after casual flirting and occasional 'cafetaria date', Hyungwon got himself a boyfriend. Though, it was about to end very soon.
"Hyung! Over here!"
Wonwoo called out to him, waving his hand with his handsome cat-like smile, eyes twinkling in excitement. Hyungwon silently gulped his saliva, returning the wave with less excitement and a forced simple smile. 'You have to do it, Won. You have to. You can do it.'
"Hey, been waiting long?"
Hyungwon started with casual talk, taking a seat in front of the younger who shook his head immediately at Hyungwon's question. The younger looked cute, just like how Hyungwon first met him; but that was just Hyungwon's eyes that talked, not his heart.
"Nope. My class ended fast so i came here earlier. Oh! I got you americano!"
The younger handed a tall size cup of coffee to Hyungwon, ice melting slightly under the slightly warm room. Hyungwon thanked the black haired guy and sipped the coffee with bitterness in every gulp. He silently sighed and steeled his heart, Kihyun and Minhyuk's words were replayed in his brain as motivation.
"Wonwoo-yah, let's break up."
Hyungwon looked straight at the younger's face, feeling his heart constrict at the hurt expression that flashed in the younger's face. But before Hyungwon could smoothen the frowns, Wonwoo's sad lines were disappeared from his face and it was replaced by a bitter smile. Hyungwon frowned at this, feeling slightly uneasy with Wonwoo's rather calm mimic despite his bitter smile. It was almost like Wonwoo knew it would happen.
"Okay."
Wonwoo said, every so simply. He lifted his face up and stared back into Hyungwon's eyes. His face might seem nonchalant, but his eyes told Hyungwon otherwise. There were many emotions in Wonwoo's eyes, but Hyungwon could tell disappointment and sadness were the biggest emotions that were clouding the younger.
"Woo, it's not because I don't love you. I-"
"I know, hyung. I know. It's okay. I understand. You don't have to explain."
With that Wonwoo stood up, one last sad smile was directed towards Hyungwon; and before he left, he said something that made Hyungwon taken aback. "I hope you'll be happy with him."
Happy with him..? Who?
Kihyun once said that his crush on Changkyun was as transparent as air. Hyungwon did not understand what the shorter was talking about because he did not feel like he had crush on Changkyun. They were close, yes. He felt that he was the closest to Changkyun in their circle of friends as of lately. But having crush on Changkyun? He didn't think so.
Besides, Changkyun had a boyfriend, again.
After breaking up with Jun, Changkyun told everyone in their circle of friend that he would take rest from being in relationship. But of course, it did not last long and the maknae got a new boyfriend in no time.
Hyungwon heard the whole break up story directly from Changkyun when the brown haired guy back then suddenly knocked on Hyungwon's appartment with tears and snot all over his face, cheeks pinkish from all the alcohol he drank and clothes slightly damped from the light rain outside. It was way past midnight when Changkyun stumbled on his front door and Hyungwon almost hit the younger with his precious glass snowball as he thought the younger was a burglar.
"Hyungwon.... why are men so mean..."
Changkyun sobbed, already clinging to Hyungwon as soon as the taller opened the door, nuzzling his face on the older's pristine pyjama. Hyungwon was momentarily disgusted by the snot and tears and dirt that clung on his pyjama along with Changkyun's face, but the younger's pitiful whine and sobbing threw everything else out of the window and Hyungwon guided the lost puppy inside his appartment.
"Well, you're a man too, Kkung."
Hyungwon commented once he had settled the younger on the small couch, laying the smaller's head on the softer pillow that resided on the couch before he disappeared to his room to get big enough sweater for Changkyun and a sweatpants. Changkyun liked engulfing himself in big clothes whenever he was sad or upset or just feeling cuddly. It was sad time and he knew the younger would appreciate it.
"Hyung, I'm being serious."
Changkyun seemed like he wanted to pout at Hyungwon's mindless remark but he looked even sadder instead and Hyungwon quickly came back to his aid, apologies rolled from his tongue.
The younger only replied by snuggling onto Hyungwon's side, telling the story from A to Z without Hyungwon prodding him and he let the younger babbled his sadness away all night until he fell asleep from exhaustion from too much disappointment, big sweater and sweatpants forgotten. Hyungwon held the younger tight that night, his mind was racing with the thoughts of killing this Jun guy because 'how dare he cheated on Changkyun?! This sweet little Changkyun??? Changkyun deserves way better than that.
"Oi, earth to Hyungwon? Are you dead?"
Jooheon waved his hand in front of Hyungwon's face, his other hand nudging Hyungwon's arms with power more than what teasing's should be. Hyungwon winced and grimaced when Jooheon particularly hit hard on his elbow. He glared at the slightly younger male which he got a sheepish grin in return.
"What was that for?"
"Kkung was telling about his new boyfriend Youngjae here and you were out of space. Are you okay?"
All eyes were suddenly on Hyungwon when the tail of Jooheon's comment echoed through the abruptly silenced group. He could see Changkyun's forehead marred with frown and Hyungwon felt a painful tug in his heart at the younger's apparent worry. He wanted to wipe off those worries away.
"Ah yeah, sorry. I'm fine! I listened, though. Just continue."
Hyungwon quickly diminished the attention from him so they could go back to Changkyun's new boyfriend that according to the younger was different from his former boyfriend. He frowned at that. Last time Changkyun got his heart broken pretty badly from that Jun guy and Hyungwon did not want something similar happen to the younger again.
"Can I- can we trust him this time, Kyun?"
Hyungwon almost regretted his question because Changkyun looked at him with the same frown as before but with extra underlying anxiousness in his eyes. Changkyun bit his lower lip for a brief second, looking like he was having internal battle with himself. But it soon disappeared from his small face and he showcased a small but warm smile and nodded a little bit too enthusiastic. "Yes, hyungs, don't worry. Youngjae is different! And I really like him."
He did not know why suddenly he felt a tight squeeze in his heart at the younger's words. He could not smile and tease Changkyun like his other friends; only small forced smile was plastered on his lips. He convinced himself that it was just him being protective towards Changkyun, but Kihyun nudged his side and gave him a meaningful look, accompanied with a raise of eyebrow. Hyungwon, for some reason, understood what Kihyun's expression meant and for the first time, he doubted his feelings towards Im Changkyun.
Ever since Changkyun joined his circle of friend, everyone doted on him. Including Hyungwon.
Beyond the fact that Changkyun was the youngest, it was admittedly easy to fall for the younger's charm; with his pretty smile and cute face, his deep but playful voice and the mature mind of his that made the others sometimes forget Changkyun was the youngest.
Hyungwon would say Kihyun was his rival in doting on Changkyun the most.
Everyone in their circle knew that Kihyun tended to be more caring and he liked to fuss about everything. He did not get the label 'mom of the group' for nothing, apparently. Hyunwoo would always just smile and laugh along whenever Minhyuk or Jooheon latch onto Kihyun like the spoiled child they were and he would play along the little family fiasco just to see Kihyun being all flustered. But Hyungwon knew that the hamster-like man enjoyed taking care of them, especially Changkyun.
Maybe because Changkyun was way younger than Hyunwoo or Kihyun himself that Kihyun brought it to himself to dote more on Changkyun. The fact that Changkyun lived very far away from his parents since such young age also made Kihyun be near Changkyun whenever it was possible just to ask if the younger had eaten or if he was feeling unwell. It was not helping that Changkyun was a very stubborn boy that all his hyungs, even the ever childish Jooheon, often scowl and frown at Changkyun's excessive activities and lack of self-care.
There was one time when Changkyun exhausted himself so much, both from activities and exam's preparation, that he got pretty badly sick.
Hyungwon couldn't count how many speech of nagging Kihyun had thrown towards the younger, but the younger just whined and begged for a little more time and mindlessly promised Kihyun he would rest properly before the exam. Changkyun was resting his head against Kihyun's shoulder, eyes glossy and red from exhaustion but he was looking at Kihyun with such pitiful look that even Hyungwon, the infamous most nonchalant guy in their group, would give in right for the younger's eyes.
He saw Kihyun sighed heavily; although angry and worried, Kihyun was still caressing Changkyun's head ever so gently, his other hand on the small of Changkyun's back, rubbing comforting circles. Hyungwon tried not to stare too much and shoot daggers towards their face.
"Fine. But as soon as it's done, you're going to hospital with me. You need more than bedrest at home and you know it."
Kihyun's voice was stern but it was still coated with soft caring and honey concern. Hyungwon felt his insides burn because 'damn, i wish i was the one doing it....'. His mind was swirling with baseless jealousy and it angered Hyungwon himself because it was not time to get jealous over petty thing. Kihyun was just being himself with his motherly trait and he was doing everyone's favour to take care of the stubborn maknae.
He sighed. Ever since Kihyun talked to Hyungwon about his crush, Hyungwon's feelings were all over the place.
The others probably had begun to notice his change of behaviour too because he was acting different, particularly towards Changkyun. Ever since Changkyun got a new boyfriend, Hyungwon's mood was often sour whenever they meet in cafetaria and Changkyun was not there. Hyungwon knew Changkyun deserved quality time with his boyfriend, but it still made his heart constrict in many different feelings. He knew he was not supposed to feel jealous. He was mere friend. Just friend. But it did not make it less hurtful.
The tall guy was not done thinking about his feelings when suddenly Youngjae appeared, breathing laboured and sweaty, worried eyes searching for his tiny little boyfriend. Changkyun called his name weakly, and Youngjae quickly came to his aid, making Kihyun stand up from his position. Kihyun gave Youngjae a simple smile and a pat on his shoulder to take care of the younger before he approached Hyungwon and dragged him away from the scene.
Hyungwon tried to casually follow Kihyun, reasoning in his head that it was Changkyun's boyfriend and he was supposed to take care of Changkyun more than him. He turned his head aside, watching Changkyun snuggling onto Youngjae, his worn out face lighted up a bit from the presence of the other male.
'Is it supposed to be like this? I wish it isn't supposed to be like this, Kyun-ah.'
Hyungwon cursed himself for being relieved when Changkyun broke up with Youngjae.
He was worried out of his mind when Changkyun sat with him and the others in cafetaria one day, face solemn but he still looked fine, appearance-wise. He knew the moment he saw Changkyun sitting beside Jooheon, that something had happened. In no time, Hyungwon took a seat in front of Changkyun, and for the first time after so many months, Hyungwon could see Changkyun's face properly again.
"So you broke up with him? Why?"
Hoseok's voice was gentle, as if he was talking to a wounded animal. They all knew, despite Changkyun's tough and bright persona, he was just a young boy with soft heart. He never admitted it, but they all knew Changkyun was a sensitive boy.
Surprisingly, Changkyun did not take a long time to answer Hoseok. "It didn't work."
The younger said simply, a sad smile on his face. He fiddled with his fingers, a sign that he wanted to say something but he was afraid of the judgements the others would give him. Hyungwon saved him the unnecessary worry and tapped Changkyun's hand gently. "Go on."
Changkyun shifted his attention from his fingers and looked at Hyungwon. His eyes were glinting under the sunlight; but Hyungwon could not decipher the meaning underlying underneath his brown orbs. For some reason, Hyungwon was nervous.
The younger gave a small smile to Hyungwon and promptly looked at the others, story of his break up rolled from his lips smoothly, like he had rehearsed it many times. Hyungwon knew why after listening to the reason. The 'it did not work' made sense. Both Changkyun and Youngjae fell out of love-out of romantic love. Changkyun said they were friends now, it was better that way.
And at that moment, Hyungwon's heart stilled. There was a bubbling euphoria that was buried deep in his heart, forcing to bloom in his heart because finally; finally he could have Changkyun to himself again. But for some reason, Hyungwon felt that the waves had not stopped. Changkyun was going to bring bigger wave towards Hyungwon's feelings and it would wreck all over his nerves.
The others immediately gave any sorts of reassurance to Changkyun that he made the right decision. Minhyuk even praised the younger and Changkyun returned the gestures with smile of gratitude. Jooheon exclaimed 'welcome to the single club!' to Changkyun and the younger laughed, letting himself being dragged by Jooheon's arms on his shoulder. But Hyungwon still felt that growing anxiety in his heart; Changkyun's laugh felt off.
'What is it this time, Kyun-ah? Can't I have you this time?'
Hyungwon was a psychology major, but he wrote poems. Tons of it. Most of them are sad poems.
Changkyun once asked why Hyungwon chose pyschology instead of literature as his major. His answer was simple : prospect.
The younger frowned at Hyungwon's answer, his arms folded, seemingly pondering over the reason. He laid his back on Hyungwon's bed then, head few centimetres apart from the taller's thigh. Hyungwon thought he would comment on that, but the younger kept silent and just read one of the short poem Hyungwon wrote in his pocket notebook.
#
you are that one odd flower
out of a savanna or the pretty
tough you sway from the wind
you still wouldn't lean onto my side
"This one is so sad. Do you like someone?"
Hyungwon peeked at the words written on the notebook. It was one of the recent emotional poem he wrote. It was about Changkyun.
'Yes, I like you. But you don't.'
"No. You know I like writing poems like that."
"Hmm. But your poems are... very emotional lately. You don't usually write raw poems like this."
Changkyun hung out with Hyungwon too much, apparently.
Hyungwon's bad feeling from the last time Changkyun told everyone that he broke up with Youngjae remained until that day and it was even proven true. He did not mean to overhear the conversation that day. He did not even wish he crossed path with the two. He did not wish to see Changkyun and Kim Mingyu in such close proximity, looking like they were about to kiss. But it happened. And ever since that, he wrote aggressive poems everyday.
That time it was Minhyuk who found him with his hardened face, walking mindlessly towards cafetaria. Minhyuk called his name many times but Hyungwon was too occupied about the scene he just saw mere seconds before.
"HOI BEANPOLE! What the hell, I called you many times!"
"Huh? Sorry, my mind's elsewhere."
As if Minhyuk's button went off, he quickly dragged Hyungwon to cafetaria and made him sit in front of Kihyun and Hoseok who were arguing about which ramen flavour tasted the best.
"Guys, lover boy got his heart broken again."
Kihyun perked up at this, his disgustingly fake coo made Hyungwon want to punch his face.
"Is it Changkyun and the Mingyu guy? Seok-ah, you said Mingyu is in your club?"
Hoseok shoved his phone to Kihyun to tell about a special ramen a japanese company just launched and shifted his attention to Hyungwon at the question. "Yeah. Tall guy, handsome, looks manly but he's just a child. Like Jooheon. His shooting skill is good. He's one of the ace in the club."
Hyungwon was more confused at the fact that all his friends knew about Changkyun and Mingyu except him. What is going on here?
Minhyuk sensed the uneasy atmosphere that was building around Hyungwon so he quickly latched himself onto the lanky guy and told him everything.
"Jooheon said Mingyu is Changkyun's new guy. Not like, new guy as in relationship. Mingyu has been trying to advance it even before Youngjae came to the picture."
Jesus. Hyungwon thought, with all his might trying not to flip the table. Why are they so many obstacles. Was I wrong? Is it not the love that would fall in place?
"You don't want to tell me who it is for?"
The younger's voice was too soft. It was too careful for someone like Changkyun. It's almost like Changkyun was afraid of voicing the question. Hyungwon refused to overlook more than that.
"I told you it's for no one."
"Are you sure?"
"Changkyun. Who is Mingyu?"
Changkyun looked really taken aback by the question. Hyungown never called Changkyun by his name like that unless he was really angry or upset. The younger's mouth was slightly ajar and he was momentarily confused as to how and why Hyungwon suddenly asked about Mingyu. He thought he only told Jooheon about Mingyu.
"N-no one."
Hyungwon almost scoffed at Changkyun's stammering. For one, the younger looked like he was a deer caught in headlight. Changkyun looked really flustered and for some weird reason, anxious. Hyungwon did not understand that expression. Changkyun was acting like he was afraid of hurting Hyungwon's feelings by keeping secrets about his new crush or whoever Mingyu was and even lying in front of Hyungwon like that.
Before Hyungwon could further inspect the younger, the younger's phone buzzed. Hyungwon could see the caller ID as it was placed right next to his field of vision and the name 'Mingyu~' welcomed him. The taller of the two immediately busied himself with the papers all over the bedsheet, retreating from his own bed and stood by the work table.
"You can go. I need to study."
Hyungwon didn't turn around to see Changkyun's expression but he was aware that Changkyun's presence was still there a second too long before he heard soft pitter patter of feet leaving his apartment.
Can we rewrite the stars? I'm tired of being your star-crossed lover.