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English
Series:
Part 2 of you're my painkiller AU
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Published:
2020-08-06
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3,375
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1/1
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7
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106
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joined hearts, joined souls

Summary:

Ben turns to look at him and his eyes still hold that little awed look, that took Callum’s breath away the night they sat outside of the hospital and shared the stories of their lost loves with each other. It’s still the same look but it holds so much more depth now. It’s filled with memories of holidays and evenings with Lexi as a little family, quiet reassuring after one of them had a bad day at work and lazy mornings spend in bed with each other when neither had to rush off to work. 

It holds a certain type of love, the unconditional never-ending type, that neither of them had thought they would find again, least of all with each other.

Notes:

this is just a little follow up for my other fic healing hands, healing hearts.
i don't think you necessarily need to read it to understand this one, but i'd love for you to check it out either way if you haven't.
thanks for reading. <3
nina
(tumblr: minimitchell)

Work Text:

“Morning.”

Ben jumps at the sound of his voice carrying into the kitchen from his place in the doorway, obviously expecting Callum to still be in bed and not right behind him. When he turns around to face him, he can see Ben’s eyes travelling over his exposed chest - Callum just knows that there is an array of hickeys littering his neck and pecs and won’t that be a fun thing to explain to Whitney later - and down to the pair of briefs he’s stolen from Ben’s drawer, taking in his fill of all the open skin presented to him. 

“Morning. I was just about to bring you tea.” 

True to his word there are two mugs sitting on the counter behind Ben, ready to be taken upstairs and into the bedroom. 

Neither of them makes the move to step closer to one another and it’s not like Callum is nervous all of a sudden or unsure about whether Ben is still interested in this, in them, now that they’ve slept with each other, but he’s still somewhat hesitant to close the distance. He wants to. He desperately wants to scoop Ben up in his arms and kiss him again, but he’s unsure about this maybe being a line that Ben doesn’t want to be crossed. 

Callum falls too quickly, always has, and he has misinterpreted things in the past. Has made things appear deeper than the other person had. Had already envisioned relationships when the other man had just been interested in something physical, something without a future. 

But it isn’t like that with Ben, he has to remind himself. Ben has made his interest in Callum clear, both during their date yesterday and during a quiet conversation after their first time together, but Callum is still a little worried about getting his heart broken. Because his heart is already tethered to Ben. 

“Thanks. Great service.” 

Ben lets out a small chuckle before stretching out his hand to Callum, beckoning him closer, and Callum can’t resist the invitation, taking the few steps until he’s standing right in front of Ben. He’s only wearing light grey joggers and Callum’s heart is in his throat at the sight, already desperate to be touching Ben again. It might be down to the fact that this was his first sex in well over a year, but Ben proves to be quite irresistible for him.

Ben snakes one of his arms around him and lets it rest against the naked skin on his back, right above the dip of his waist. His other hand rests lightly over Callum’s stomach and at the welcoming touch, Callum himself places his hands on both sides of Ben’s equally unclothed waist. 

“Do you regret it?” 

Ben’s voice sounds small, almost like being afraid of the answer but needing to hear it anyway. 

“Course not. We’ve been dancing around each other for two and a half years now, it was bound to happen. Just sooner rather than later, I guess.” 

He doesn’t want Ben to even have a slither of doubt that Callum could ever regret sleeping with him. And even though Ben was the one who invited him back to his place, the intent behind that certainly not lost on Callum, there’s still that little voice in the back of his mind that tells him that maybe this is Ben’s way of saying he regrets it. It definitely didn’t seem that way last night but you can never be too sure, so Callum plucks up all his courage and tests the waters himself. 

“It don’t change anything, right?” 

His fears are completely alleviated when Ben immediately shakes his head at him, squeezing the skin under the hand positioned on his back slightly. 

“Nah, still wanna date you. Even more now that I know what’s in store for me.” 

“Impressed, eh?” 

Callum’s only teasing because if anyone is impressed after last night, it’s definitely him. He’s still in awe at the seamless way their bodies fit together, the way they seemed so in sync with every move of the other. Callum isn’t a big believer in fate, but it’s hard not to feel like they were meant to be with each other when you experience something like last night. 

“Shut up, will ya.” 

Ben leans forward and up to slot their mouths together, tongue slipping into Callum’s mouth easily. His fingers are tightening against Ben’s waist with every breathy sigh that escapes Ben’s mouth as their lips find each other again and again. His lips are smooth against his own and when Ben starts trailing them along Callum’s jaw, he lets out a loud groan of his own, completely against his own volition. 

Ben kisses down his neck, stopping to worry at one of the bruises he left last night just above Callum’s collarbone and yeah, he could never regret doing anything that makes him feel like this. Ben’s mouth finds his again, sinking his teeth into Callum’s bottom lip, and Callum lets his hands leave their place on Ben’s waist to travel down to his ass. 

He tears his mouth away from Ben’s and crouches lower to slide his hands under Ben’s thighs. In one swift movement, he picks Ben up and sets him down onto the counter, right next to their long-abandoned mugs. Ben’s mouth is open in surprise and he wraps his legs around Callum’s waist on reflex. When he turns his gaze down at Callum now, there’s so much unmasked lust in it and Callum can feel Ben’s dick taking an interest where it’s pressed against his stomach. 

“Woah, where were you hiding this trick last night, Highway?” 

He leans forward to nose along Callum’s jaw again, nipping minutely at every stretch of skin he can reach. His hands are travelling over Callum’s exposed chest and he lets out a quiet hiss when Ben’s nails catch on one of his nipples on their way down over his pecs. 

“Have to keep some surprises, don’t I? It is technically still only our first date.” 

It’s mad to think about how they sat in front of each other in the restaurant only a couple of hours ago, wanting but unsure about seeing each other again. And now he’s in Ben’s house, practically naked and thoroughly head over heels already. 

Ben leans away from where he’s turning another bruise on his neck into an even darker shade of red to look down at him, biting the side of his bottom lip as he regards Callum for a moment. His legs are tightening around Callum’s waist, his feet resting over the swell of Callum’s ass. When he speaks next, his mouth is next to Callum’s ear, breath fanning out over the shell of it. 

“I’m looking forward to each one.” 

It could be just a throwaway line, a part of the weird little foreplay they’re doing right now, but it makes Callum’s heart beat a little faster, makes his skin turn a degree hotter with the knowledge that Ben wants him too. Wants to date him and build this relationship into something more, something that could potentially be forever. 

It’s a lot, this feeling taking over his heart already, this deep infatuation, so Callum pushes it aside for now, not trying to forget about it or deny it but rather to store it away for a later time. Ready to unearth it further down the line, when they’re something more serious. 

Instead of mulling his feelings for the man currently in his arms over for another while, he chooses to lean up and press another kiss to Ben’s lips, enjoying the glide of their lips and the feel of Ben underneath him too much already. 

They’re kissing for minutes or hours, Callum losing all feeling of time at the sensation of clever hands roaming first his back and then his chest and a talented tongue finding his own, until he leans away again, Ben’s hands falling down to the waistband of his own briefs adorning Callum’s body. He’s just playing with the elastic, not dipping any lower, and it’s not meant to be a teasing gesture. It seems more like an automatism, while his eyes are roaming over Callum’s face, focused entirely on the man in front of him. 

Callum likes the focus on him, because it’s Ben that’s giving it to him and he’s wanted his undivided attention on him for weeks now, even longer if he’s completely honest with himself.  

They share a small smile with each other, one of Callum’s hands taking one of Ben’s away from the elastic of his briefs and tangling their hands together, the other darting out to the left of Ben’s body sitting on the counter in order to grab one of the mugs from beside him. 

It’s just for show really, a way to build up the tension he’s sure will bubble over any moment now, and the tea is already cold and disgusting, having sat on the counter for far too long to still be enjoyable. It seems like Ben knows exactly what Callum is trying to do, judging from the way his smile turns amused and challenging. 

Callum likes to think he has the upper hand at least some time, but Ben loves to prove him wrong about that assumption, the little rivalry between them flaring up again here and there, always wanting to one up the other. It seems like this is Ben’s intention now as well as he’s untangling his hand from Callum’s and leans back on the counter so they’re only connected by his legs firmly wrapped around Callum’s waist, his hands outstretched behind him, a bright and teasing grin splitting his lips. 

“Well, drink up, Cal. Want you to take me back to bed.” 

Callum doesn’t need to be told twice, secretly glad that Ben’s the one to break the tension and voices what’s been in his own head since he woke up to an empty bed today. He flings the mug towards the sink, not even caring if he misses and Ben obviously doesn’t either, more concerned with tightening his legs around Callum waist and letting out a sweet-sounding laugh when Callum wraps his hands around Ben’s thighs again, lifting him up off the counter and back towards the direction of Ben’s bedroom. 

 

1 year later  

 

Callum wakes up to sunlight streaming through the dark blinds on the windows, bathing the bedroom in that faint golden light that only a bright summer morning can bring. It’s going to be a hot day according to the forecast from yesterday and he would be happy about the few hot days they get to experience in London, if it didn’t mean a shift full off heat strokes and older citizens having heart problems for him later. 

The space next to him in the bed is vacated but the sheets are still warm, so Ben can’t be gone for too long. Normally, Callum gets up way before him but they hadn’t been home until late yesterday and he’s had more than a few drinks, what with both of them not working until later in the day today. 

He wouldn’t necessarily say he’s hungover but he’s definitely still tired, having only slept five hours going by what his phone on the nightstand says. He can faintly hear some pans clinking together in the kitchen downstairs and if he’s really concentrating, he’s able to pick up the smell of bacon hanging in the air. 

It brings a smile to his face, knowing that Ben is currently downstairs making them breakfast, a feat he definitely excels at but doesn’t get to demonstrate that often. Their schedules are still too different to allow for joined breakfast every day, but they’ve mostly aligned them in a way that actually allows them to have a functioning life and relationship together; they even manage to have the same time off for holidays now. 

It’s nice, really nice, and Callum is still thankful that they’ve ended up here together, even if he already strongly believed that they would after that first date over a year ago now. On their third date together, they had decided to become official boyfriends and it hadn’t taken long before Callum got to meet Lexi as Ben’s partner and not just as the friendly paramedic, who’s sometimes working with her dad. 

Ben’s pushing the door open gingerly and at the sight of Callum sitting up in bed, he greets him with a bright smile, balancing a tray with plates, mugs and food in both of his hands. 

“Morning, babe. Made you some breakfast to cure the hangover.” 

“Morning. Thank you, but I don’t have a hangover.” 

Ben gives him a dubious look, but he still places the tray next to Callum’s legs in the middle of the bed, taking his place on the other side of it. Callum was right, there’s a plate with eggs and bacon in the center, two mugs with steaming coffee – Ben’s with no doubt an abhorrent amount of sugar in it – and some pieces of toast stacked on top of each other. 

“You shouldn’t lie to a doctor, Cal. I can tell.” 

Callum gives him an unimpressed look while digging into his eggs. He isn’t a fan of Ben constantly trying to diagnose him, but he’s noticed Kathy doing the same thing numerous times over the course of the last year, so it must be a family trait. 

“Well, I’m not. Besides, I’ll never hear the end of it from Whitney if I show up to work with a hangover.” 

“Pretty sure they were ordering another round when we were leaving so she’s probably worse for wear.” 

It had been one of those rare nights where they  all  had time off so Callum and Ben had sacrificed their planned date night for an evening out at the club with Whitney, Jay and Lola, Ben’s dad graciously agreeing to have Lexi for the night since Kathy had to work. 

Their little ragtag group of people is a real menace, especially Lola and Whitney together and with a couple of drinks in them, but Callum wouldn’t have it any other way. It still makes his heart swell with contentment. Because Ben’s friends and Callum’s friends are now their friends. Because Callum’s brother and Ben’s daughter, mum and siblings are now their family and because, even though he’s still waiting for an official ask, Ben’s house has become their home. 

He still remembers waking up in this house, in this bed, for the first time ever and the feeling that fills his heart and body every day at the realization that this really is his life, is still the same as well. 

He hopes it never ends. 

“When’s your shift start?”, Callum asks, lips around the rim of his coffee mug. 

“Have to be at the hospital at five.” 

He’s tucking into his eggs while answering and Callum doesn’t even worry about him getting pieces of egg on their duvet, still feeling happy and nostalgic about how far they’ve come since they’ve met and how much love there is between them today. 

“Oh, so we have lots of time to spend in bed, eh?” 

It’s supposed to come out in a seductive matter, but it’s interrupted by the yawn forcing itself out of his mouth halfway through. Ben gives him an amused look at the effort while finishing his eggs, obviously not impressed with his boyfriend. 

“You mean, we have lots of time for you to take another nap?” 

“Is this you turning down sex with me?” 

Ben lets out a low chuckle and leans forward to press a kiss against Callum’s forehead, taking the tray with their empty plates on it and placing it next to their bed for him to take back downstairs later. 

“This is me not wanting you to fall asleep on me halfway through. Again.” 

Callum’s mouth drops open in indignation, reaching out to swat at Ben and only nearly missing the mug he’s still holding in one hand, saving the coffee from spilling out onto their bed. He’d bitch at Callum for weeks if that had occurred. It had happened before when they got a little too carried away with kissing one time and Ben had gone as far as banning breakfast in bed for a while. 

“That was after three night shifts in a row and you promised not to bring it up again.” 

Ben only chuckles, placing his mug on his side table in order to join Callum under the covers. He’s lying on his side, head propped up on his elbow while Callum settles back into the pillows himself. Ben’s hand reaches out to grab Callum’s, playing with his fingers softly. He does it a lot and Callum likes to reciprocate, likes the implication and the meaning behind the gesture. 

Their hands have both saved lives, have lost lives as well, have helped and healed and both of them had never hesitated to lay their hearts – the most treasured and guarded part of them – in the hands of the other. Had never hesitated to trust the other with it. 

Callum knows that his heart belonged to Ben ever since that first morning he had woken up here, when Ben had made him a tea and been so gentle in everything he had done with him, maybe even before then. Maybe ever since he had let Callum see the real Ben, the man beyond the rumors and hard man act. And Callum is nothing but thankful for that, because it got him a family, good friends and a man that makes his heart beat faster every time he looks at him. 

“You gonna take a nap with me?” 

Ben turns to look at him and his eyes still hold that little awed look, that took Callum’s breath away the night they sat outside of the hospital and shared the stories of their lost loves with each other. It’s still the same look but it holds so much more depth now. It’s filled with memories of holidays and evenings with Lexi as a little family, quiet reassuring after one of them had a bad day at work and lazy mornings spend in bed with each other when neither had to rush off to work. 

It holds a certain type of love, the unconditional never-ending type, that neither of them had thought they would find again, least of all with each other. 

“Always.”

Callum closes the little distance between them to press a soft kiss onto Ben’s lips, running his hands through Ben’s brown hair and down his cheek. Ben leans into it for a second, eyes bright and loving before leaning backwards, letting Callum turn around, his back now pressed against Ben’s front. He wraps one warm around Callum’s waist and reaches out to take hold of Callum’s hand, threading their fingers together. 

He has a smile on his face while they both get settled against each other, Ben tucking his face into the crook of his neck, pressing a kiss to the skin there. It’s his favorite thing to be lying in Ben’s arms, the warmth from his body seeping into his own and making him feel safer than he’s ever felt in his entire life. Strong arms encasing him and the life they built with each other in just over a year surrounding them. 

He knows it’s way too early for it, especially considering that they’re not even officially living with each other yet, but he can’t help but think about that ring he saw the other day, trying to reason with himself that there’s no harm in buying it and keeping it tucked away for another few years. He likes the meaning behind the thought though; likes the fact that he’s so sure that this love with Ben will last – potentially forever – and that they’ll have a whole future together if Ben’s open to it. 

Callum closes his eyes against the magnitude of his feelings, instead concentrating on falling asleep for another couple of hours, his legs tangled with Ben’s under the covers and his back pressed against a firm chest; like they’re two parentheses facing the same direction, an open-ended sentence, unending. 

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