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Things are all kinds of different now. And not just cause the dead ain't stayin' dead. I have a real thing with Rick and we ain't even hidin' it anymore. If I come back from a hunt and I'm just walkin' up through the yard and Rick sees me from the garden and he misses me from bein' gone, he can come walk right up and kiss me. Right on tha mouth. With his tongue. 'Front a' anyone that's around cause they all know now that Rick and I "have a thing".
We's just callin' it havin' a thing right now cause don't know what else ta call it. Axel called Rick my boyfriend couple weeks ago and I can't r'member why but it freaked me out and I punched him. So we's just callin' it having a thing. Merle'd a shit at the words boyfriend and I'd a got punched for sure, so I guess old Dixon habits bein' what they were... Someone was gettin' punched and Merle weren't here ta do it.
I ain't stupid. Doesn't matter what it's called. I'm fucking a man and Merle would just die if he's even still alive. But it ain't like it's just some guy. It's Rick.
When I told Carol it was weird I's with a guy, she said what Rick and I got transcends everythin' else about society norms. I ain't got a clue what tha hell that means, but I guess tha gist is that it's ok ta be fuckin' and lovin' THIS guy cause it's Rick.
When you "have a thing" you get to sleep together every night w'out sneakin' inta rooms an' shit. An' you get to sit together every meal close as ya want. And ya get ta share yer food, like if one a' ya don't really like sweet potatoes but the other does, you can scoop it onta his plate or even put a forkful right in his mouth.
Having a thing means I get to watch Rick sleep at night and get to see him in the mornin' when he's cutest with his curls all smooshed up from sleepin' and his body all curled up cute.
Havin' a thing also means if you get a tick near your junk but not quite where ya can reach it, ya don't gotta have Maggie or Hershal dig at ya with yer pants down. Cause Rick can get it for ya. He's been down there already anyway so's ain't gotta be shy 'bout it.
Sometimes it also means a fight. And that's ok and it's normal and don't mean Rick don't love me no more. Just means we gotta communicate cause when you have a thing, you gotta communicate.
First I thought having a thing was all sex and sleepin and kissing and butterflies in my belly. But it don't change everything. Still got worries, insecurities and 'fraid a losin what I got now. But one way ta deal with that stuff is communicatin'. It's real important.
I's gettin' so good at communication'. Went hunting one day and I missed a shot. Stupid. Was my own fault. Knew that squirrel was gonna zag and he did zag but for some reason I shot for a zig. Told Rick all 'bout it cause I wanted to communicate that we might all starve and die cause I'm slippin'.
He says he's pretty sure that one squirrel ain't gonna kill anyone but was glad ta talk 'bout it cause it helped me not feel guilty. He smiled at me through my whole story even though it was a horrible story 'bout a squirrel gettin' tha better a' me. But I think he just loves communicatin' so much and is glad to hear me talkin' so much more.
He says he likes my voice. When you have a thing ya get lots of compliments like likin' yer voice or yer eyes or the way ya kiss and shirts that fit ya nice and stuff.
Rick's getting good at communicatin' too, like when I told him I should teach Carl ta hunt. He said Carl is sneaky and tricked me so I hada feel stupid all afternoon til Rick could tell somethin's wrong and asks me bout it cause that's how ya communicate.
Turns out I ain't stupid. Kids is smart. An Rick tells me Carl liked to try to get what he wants from tha other parent if tha first one he asks don't give in. Turns out all kids do that. Sneaky bastards! Rick says Carl did that shit to him and Lori all tha time but they wasn't as good at communicatin' as me and Rick is.
Tha next day I's workin' tha fence and it hits me that Rick was talking like I was a parent a Carl's now. Cause we have a thing. After I washed all tha guts off from fence killin' I felt a new parental instinct to hug on Judith for a while and went lookin'.
She's all dressed in pink and I hugged at her and felt in my heart like she's mine. Hell, honestly I don't even know if she's really Rick's, but the world bein' what it is, she's ours now. She's lucky to have two daddy's in a 'pocolypse cause we's strong and can protect her extra.
But the bad part bout' havin' a thing when kids is involved is ya might not agree. Like how I kinda agree with Carl that he should learn ta hunt so I tell Rick. And we yelled 'bout it. I don't like yellin'. I mean I like doin' tha yellin'. Everyone knows I'm a cranky redneck. But I don't like gettin' yelled at for real. Most a my yellin' is kinda just a way ta keep people 'way from me. I don't know if I won that fight yet. We's still workin' on that one.
Havin' a thing has a lot ta do with compromise and talkin' and now fuckin' parentin' but I ain't gonna lie, I like the bedroom stuff the best. I can talk and compromise with Carol. Time in bed when you have a thing is really special time that's somethin' special just for tha two a you.
I'm not nervous any more with Rick and Rick LOVES that. He don't need to be all cautious bout startin' things cause my mouth is on his 'fore he can even start flirtin' ta get somethin'.
So all is good and well in my apocalypse. I lay peaceful with Rick after he been inside me for the hundredth time makin' me feel like I'm special and all his.
I think I got it all figured out how ta have a thing with Rick.
Baby rocked- Check.
Teen scolded for bein' sneaky- Check.
Communicatin' bout our day- Check.
Goin' ta bed together- Check!
And I'm layin' as his hands is brushin' through my hair in a way he knows I like.
"Hey, Daryl," he says like the next sentence ain't gonna be a big deal.
"Mmhm," I say still dazed from my orgasm.
"I wanna try it," he whispers.
"Try what?" I say.
"I wanna feel what it's like to have you in me, bein' all yours. Like how you describe it. Let's do it that way next time."
And I picture Rick always so confident above me, knowin what ta do and bein in charge of the sex stuff. And how in the hell am I gonna be that guy for him?
Havin' a thing is always full a' surprises.