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Just when I thought everythin' new for me was done, Rick wants ME to fuck HIM! Honestly, I just never really thought 'bout it b'fore. We been real good at knowing how to make each other feel good. Didn't even think Rick would want it that way, but guess I done a good job a' sellin' it cause Rick says the sounds I make when he's inside a' me sounds like he definitely wants ta know what I'm groanin' and writhin' 'bout.
Carol knows we been doin' it every damn night. She says two guys 's prolly a great thing cause guys want sex all the time and she said neither of us would ever get a headache.
Not sure what that has ta do with anythin'. I've had headaches before Rick and after. I just either wait for it ta go 'way or see if Hershal can spare any Asprin or I have Rick massage my temples which feels real good then turns inta sex and then usually my headache's gone after.
Guess Carol is right about sex and guys though, cause Rick and I keep doin' it even accidental sometimes. Like rubbing my temples from a
Headache. Or when Rick's feet were sore from lots a walkin' on a run and I massaged his feet for 'im. Or when I had that tick that one time. Or when I's sittin' readin' a book. Or when Rick was tryin' ta wash pine sap out a' my hair in the showers.
All those things turned inta sex with Rick. Ironically the pine sap was because a' sex with Rick in the first place. Ya gotta be careful 'bout sex in tha outdoors. That I know. (Now at least). Now that I'm thinking on it... That mighta been how I got the tick too.
But now I gotta be the one that does all the stuff. I mean, I know how. See Rick do it every day. (Ok, sometimes twice a day)
After Rick told me he wants to feel me like that I said ok. Cause Rick wanted it and I always like to give things to Rick. Like one time I found a stone and it wasn't natural at all. Like a special stone someone hadta have dropped er something cause it was bright blue like Rick's eyes. So I picked it up and gave it to him. Told him about his eyes. He said I's romantic. I laughed for half a hour. A Dixon- romantic! I just found a damn rock 's all.
Anyways, I always like to give stuff ta Rick. So I'll give him this. But I'm really worried about doing it wrong or doing somethin' stupid. What if I can't get it in there? I know for a FACT it's a really tight fit! Plus, I know s' gonna kinda hurt a bit and I don't think Rick will like that the same way 's I do. So I's worried about that.
Course the only person I can go to for help is Carol and she don't know nothin' bout how to do anything like this. Plus- that's all too much detail. I ain't gonna talk ta Carole like that.
She knows I'm worryin' bout somethin' though. Cause a' my stupid thumb in my mouth fake-chewin' a nail cause the nail's already so far down there ain't nothin' ta hold onta with my teeth.
So she asks. Says she ain't seen me like this in a while. I just say I's gonna try somethin' that night and I's nervous. She asks if she can help and I said "Fuck no!" Didn't mean ta say Fuck, but jeez.
Anyway- by this point let's face it, I'm basically just suckin' my thumb cause there just ain't barely any nail. Carol says, "ya know what, Daryl. Maybe you could talk ta Glenn if you have some worries."
Hmm. That Carol always has some interestin' ideas.
After dinner I see Glenn goin' by hisself to work the wall a bit with a crowbar. I grab my long knife and jog down to help him with stabbin through tha fence.
"What are you doing down here, Daryl? Thought it was just me for the evenin'"
"Just thought I'd help," I lie. He knows I'm lying cause I'm shit at it. No one'll play poker with me cause they say stuffs written all over my face and it's like taken candy from a baby. Axel said that. Then I punched him. Cause ya know... Called me a baby. Don't really know why Axel even seems ta like me cause I'm startin' ta lose count a' how many times I punched when he prolly really didn't deserve it.
Glenn's just lookin' at me cause he knows I's full a shit bout just comin' ta help.
I seen plenty a magazines and shit 'fore the 'pocolypse, so I know when it's a guy and a girl, they can use the back end too. But just cause they COULD don't mean they DO. So's first I gotta figure out if they do.
"How's Maggie?" I say as I knife a guy in a business suit.
Glenn's still standin' there just starin' at me.
"Daryl, how about we skip the awkward small talk and get to the awkward question?"
Hmmm, I think. Kinda like that idea myself 'cept that it means I gotta blurt it out now. So here goes-
"You guys ever do it, like, y'know, how Rick and I do it?"
And I never thought a Korean could get that pale.
"Uhhh... Like ... Anal?"
"Yah!" I say excited cause we're gettin' somewhere.
Glenn looks 'round. Not sure if he's lookin' ta run away or checkin' ta make sure Maggie ain't sneakin' up on 'im. Then I'm thinkin- shit, she'll know bout this whole conversation anyway on account a' how she's always readin' my mind an' shit. But too late to turn back now!
"Well, yah. We did a few times. Why?"
I stab a old lady that still had a purse hangin' off her 'round her neck. Then look back ta Glenn.
"Well, normally all this time I's.... Let's say I's in Maggie's position. But t'night.. I gotta be in, like,
yer position and I ain't never done that 'fore."
For a second, Glenn looked like he might start laugnin an I's gonna have ta punch him. But he didn't. He stabbed at a guy with no shirt and some guts already hangin' out and turned back to me.
"Well, ya had it done to ya, right? Just do what he's done. Use some fingers, get him ready and go slow."
I frown. Ain't stupid. Can figure that shit out myself.
"But how d'ya be, like, confident and tellin' 'em tha right words an stuff and know if ya should stop or if it's hurtin' 'em too much? Y'ever have trouble gettin' in there?"
"Daryl," he stops me, "you don't need help for this," Glenn says with confidence that he thinks I should have. "You and Rick are great at communicating'. It's all just communicating."
"Hmmm." I say. "Guess so." I know I have a tendency to make stuff harder than's gotta be. Classic Dixon. Axel said that once- Classic Dixon. Didn't punch him though. That one was kinda funny.
So I'm showered and ready and pep-talkin' myself as I head to our cell. ('My' cell is now 'our' cell, cause when ya 'have a thing' stuff that was once a 'yours' becomes a 'ours'. Like my cell. And Carl.)
Anyways, the time has come, I'm gonna fuck Rick. Not 'be fucked by' Rick, cause that's just any old day. But I'm doing the fucking. I'm giving it and he's gonna take it. I'm gonna like it and he's gonna like it. And I pull back the privacy sheet and walk in and there's Rick! Sitting on the bed biting his fucking nails! Not even a thumbnail like a respectable nervous pussy like me, but like the other four fingers all at once!
"Wha's a' matter?" I say goin' to him quickly. I pull his hand 'way and brush fingers through his hair like he does ta me when I's the one nervous.
"Just nervous," he tells me.
"You ain't never nervous. That's kinda my thing." I say.
He don't say nothin' but look at me with big eyes.
"Sure ya wanna do it like this?" I ask, communicatin'.
He nods his head, "Definitely," he says, "just a little nervous is all."
And I realize I really am gonna have ta take control a' this thing, cause Rick needs me to. And I always want to give Rick what he wants.