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Been thinking ever since I found it, an idea swirling to life in my head. It was a long day in the garden. Every day is a long day in the garden because Daryl isn't with me. And more often than not it's because he's beyond the fence, hunting. Alone. And I'm sitting safe between potatoes and peas worrying for his safe return. I know he can certainly take care of himself. He was built to survive in this world. But the overwhelming need to protect him even though he can certainly protect himself was crushing me.
It's been months now. I've lost track of time. But it's been long enough that he should be looking at me with the confidence of knowing this is real and forever. He doesn't. Like the very first night I made a move to get him, he still doesn't know his worth. Still doesn't know he's gorgeous and sweet and funny and the only thing I think about all day, everyday. Still afraid there could be an end, an expiration date.
As I'm marveling over my find, I hear his voice telling Carl it's dinner. I'm not ready. Have my plan but need some time. I shove the little treasure in my pocket then think twice and toss it between some of the corn stalks.
He's been known to shove his hands in my pockets and dig around when he feels something in there. It's how he found out that I always carry my blue rock. And how he found the surprise butterscotch candies I got for him on a run literally a day after I discovered he liked butterscotch, which is also my favorite. Finding out new things about Daryl was like clicking puzzle pieces into place. And every new tidbit gave me a clearer, more stunning picture and a sense of accomplishment.
Daryl made his way to me for our private daily reunion and I suddenly felt like I hadn't seen him in weeks. When he got to me I didn't even say hello or ask how his day was or tell him I missed him. I just grabbed him in my arms and pressed my mouth to his, working his soft lips open and devouring him. Had my hands into his hair to keep his mouth tight on mine. He responded with soft gasps of delight. The privilege of hearing such gentle sounds out of this man was all mine. No one else would ever know such a sound could drip from the likes of Daryl Dixon. These were mine only.
We finally broke apart for no other reason than shortage of air and he twisted both his hands in both of mine.
"Good day?" He asked a worried look on his brow. Always a worried look at the oddest of times.
"Yah, potatoes are coming up." I say and he knows my garden and starts walking to those rows. I stop him thinking that the deeper-than-necessary holes I dug there after my find would clue him in. In the back of my head, I'm aware that the only thing it would clue him into is that we now have potatoes, but I'm growing eager anyway to shoe him off so I can dive into the corn row and retrieve what I threw.
"Hey, go on up to dinner. I'll be right up. Got some things to finish up here."
He looked at me despondent, said "ok" like a sullen child and walked up alone to the prison. I dived into that corn row, already losing light from the setting sun, feeling around in the dirt on my hands and knees. I'd take care of making Daryl know he was wanted tonight. It's almost a hobby of mine, making Daryl know how much I love him.
Took me for-fucking-ever to find it again but I did and I put it in the first now-potato-less hole in the row and covered it with a little dirt. I'll have to take care of the rest out here tomorrow. I'll never get it past him the way his hands are usually all over me before we even make it to our cell after dinner.
On my way back up, I see Carol heading out to take turn at the fence.
"Wondering where you were," she says. "Not used to seeing Daryl in the cafeteria by himself. What did you do that he's misunderstanding and pouting over?"
I smiled and shook my head. "I kissed him like like I'd die without him and told him I'd be up in a bit."
"Well, he likely forgot all about your kiss after you dismissed him. Classic Dixon." She said grinning at the phrase Axel had coined. "Go console him will ya?"
She starts walking away then stops and turns back. "Hey- why'd you send him up alone anyway? Thought walking up to the prison all hand-in-hand was like your favorite part of the day?"
Carol read people well. She knew me. She knew Daryl. And my face was probably screaming that I had a secret I was dying to share. So I told her. But mainly it was just in case Daryl goes pouting to her tomorrow about walking to the prison alone.
Needed her to make sure he knew he had nothing to worry about. I had full intentions of making him know that back in our cell tonight, but my lover is a worrier. I know this.
I swore Carol to secrecy but let her know she should give him all the assurances she usually does when he inevitably waxes on to her about being sent to dinner alone.
By the time I got to the cafeteria and filled a plate, Daryl and Carl had already eaten. Carl ran off with a batch of new comic books Glenn and Michonne had found on a run that day. And Daryl sat across from me with Judith in his arms. I pick at dinner, but eat it knowing I gotta or Daryl's gonna yell at me.
"Gettin' a tooth," He tells me and he gently slips a pinky into Judy's mouth feelin' for it. "Up top."
I smile and nod, grinning at him like I'd just fallen in love when god knows I was in love with him before my lips ever pressed against his.
I watch him coo'ing at my daughter. Every bit as much his daughter too.
And there's something stunning to see them both against each other. My delicate flower of a daughter still soft and new, always dressed in pink and ruffles, laying comfortable in Daryl's perpetually dirt-covered, muscled arms against whatever ratty sleeveless he's wearing. But his hands are always washed so clean that they're still red from scrubbing, knowing Judy was going to get her mouth on them. She's taken to gnawing on his thumb almost as much as he does.
That night in our cell I saw doubt in his eyes and worry. I know whatever I do or say tonight will only be a temporary patch.
I kiss him like I need him to live. And I do. I need him to live. I pull my shirt off and start unzipping and his pants are tossed on the floor before my zipper is even down. He's hard and I'm glad any doubts he had earlier are pushed aside. He leans over kissing me aggressively, his soft sounds of utter contentment like a purring kitten in my ears. I grip into his hair.
"Want you so bad, Rick." He sighs against my mouth and then pulls off me. Towers over me on his knees looking down. Memorizing me. Deep in his own thoughts. And I'm just enjoying the view of him, watching his thoughts from this side of his eyes.
He slowly pulled off his shirt and dropped it to the floor. Still over me looking down. He's fucking gorgeous. Naked and towering over me. Never seen him like this before with his chest bare, cock still hard, eyes devouring me. I watched the rise and fall of his pecks as his breath grew ragged with need.
And I just take him with my eyes til it's not enough and I grab him, taking his face in my hands and put him into the bed so I'm over him now, pressing my bare chest against his bare chest. Sliding my hands down over his bare sides.
I'm groaning and panting like crazy already, lips locking his and taking control of them. My tongue is wild in his mouth and I feel him leaning over the edge of the bed feeling for the lube. I move to his neck and suck and kiss and taste his salty, sun-kissed skin and it's better than butterscotch.
"God, Rick," he moans as he finally brings the bottle up. I snatch it out of his hands and get some fingers ready as he watches me with his giant eyes, all pupil now with a sliver of dark blue along the outer edges.
I press a finger into him and use my other hand to feel his chest and his abs. God, he's fucking gorgeous.
"I fucking love you so much, Daryl." I whisper, looking in his eyes so he can read them.
When I'm sliding into him I whisper his name just to have the taste of it on my tongue. As I'm rocking my hips, I match my tongue to their rhythm. And his bare chest is against mine, his legs wrapped around me. Daryl Dixon. All mine. Shirt off for me. Not afraid. Not worried. Just mine and he knows it right now. I see it in his eyes. I know it won't last and that he'll worry about that walk alone before the cum is cleaned off of him. But right now he's here with me.
Our bodies move together and soft sighs fall from both of us. His sighs turn to gasps and start to round into cries and I know he's ready to come. I stop kissing and hold his head in my hands and looks into his eyes.
"Wanna watch your eyes when you come," I whisper. And within seconds neither of us had control of our eyelids and we both came hard and I love him so much I've got lovesick butterflies perching on weak leaves in my stomach as I'm coming and it made for an amazing orgasm. How did I ever live without the things this man does to me?
I didn't sleep much. Spent most of the night thinking and watching my lover sleep. "This is more than just a thing," I whisper as I'm brushing fingers through his hair. His breaths are sleeping breaths and I know he didn't hear me. And I know he's sometimes weird about "our thing" and I start worrying myself. Get a taste of my own thumbnail for a few minutes there. But I talk myself down like I wish he could.
I'm up and out of bed dressing before Daryl even stirs. I'm so eager to get back to the garden that I barely take the time to enjoy the look of his sexy sleep-strew hair. I smile at him and kiss him gently on the forehead. Mine. All of him. And I quickly look away because if I don't I'm going to take him again before he's even had enough time to wipe the sleep from his eyes and I can't. I've got shit to do.
"You goin' ta breakfast?" He asks
sleepily, sittin' up.
"Nah, gotta take care of some stuff in the garden. Just eager to get started today," I explain.
I stopped to borrow Tyrese's hammer on my way out. Popped into Carl's cell and told him he could sleep in today. Raided one of the tackle boxes and the tool box for a selection of sharp things, not sure what would work.
The dirty beige arrowhead was right where I left it. I sat in the middle of some of the corn to stay hidden and worked most of the day holding it against rock, tapping into it to form my letters.
Finally found a sharp screw that worked best but engraving something with a hammer and screw was a lot harder than I thought. Worried to death a couple times I was gonna bust it in half, but whatever stone it was made from was strong.
By mid-afternoon I dusted it off and was thrilled that it was easily readable. "DG". I pulled blue wild flowers and crushed them rubbing them into the rough engraving so it would pop blue. Like HIS eyes.