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It’s a normal day for Class 1-A. They woke up and got their breakfast then heads of towards their class. Some were later than the others but it’s nothing out of the ordinary, that is until Aizawa-sensei came in with an unfamiliar woman in tow.
The class quieted down, watching as their teacher stepped forwards and introduced the lady with neon yellow hair and skin flushed with same yellow blush on her cheeks, a quirk maybe? Izuku thought, but his mind snapped back to his sensei talking.
“This is Miss Fujioka. She’s here to help you with today’s class.” Iida is the first to raises his hand, “Yes Iida?”
“Sir, is there anything special about today’s syllabus?”
Sensei sighed, “Yes. Principal Nezu tried to incorporate a mental health awareness as an important curriculum. As future heroes, you’ll face many dangers and situations that needs you to be emotionally aware. Emotional awareness is where we can understand the feelings within ourselves and others, once you’re aware of it, all of you can react appropriately regarding circumstances.”
He paused and scanned his students. All of them held the same determination in their eyes and Aizawa internally approves at their reactions, it means that his students are ready for the next thing incoming, “To hone our instincts and emotional intelligence, we must understand ourselves first.”
A few seconds passed in silence, Aizawa gestured the woman next to him to step up and introduce herself. She murmured her thanks and smiled at the class, “It’s nice to meet you kids. My name is Fujioka and I’m here to guide you with today’s learning.” She raises her hand and white beam appeared from the tip of her finger.
“My quirk called ‘Mirage’. I can create illusions, taken from your subconscious.” Izuku didn’t know when he started to pull out his notebooks and begun to write, “But the difference is that, with my quirk, you can communicate with the illusions your mind created for you.”
Gasps and hushed mutters can be heard after Miss Fujioka explained her quirk. Izuku’s hand went more frantic as his mind conjures up many possibilities such quirk can produce, then something clicks in his head. Raising his hand, Izuku asked Miss Fujioka with some hesitation, “Uhm, Miss Fujioka?”
The woman saw Izuku’s hesitation and gave him a comforting smile, “Yes? What is your question?”
“Uhm,” Izuku flipped through the written notes and pages, “Since your quirk creates illusion from our subconscious, doesn’t that mean we’re just talking to ourselves?” His wide emerald eyes gleams as he stares back at the woman.
Fujioka gave an assured nod and clapped, “Yes, that’s exactly it. That’s why today’s lesson is to understand ourselves. What’s better way to learn about you from you?” She gave a soft chuckle, though seeing Izuku sitting up straight in his seat, Fujioka knew the boy still have more questions, “Is there anything else you want to ask?”
For some reason, Izuku can hear Aizawa-sensei’s muffled groan, “Alright Problem Child, go ask your questions, “ He stares back at Fujioka, “It’s going to be a while but when the clock hits ten thirty, bring the kids to the gym.” Then, without waiting for both Izuku’s and Miss Fujioka’s answer, Aizawa-sensei has climbed inside his yellow sleeping bag.
Miss Fujioka also sensed that Izuku’s questions might take a while, so she sat down on the teacher’s seat, prompting the boy to ask away.
Izuku beams, “If it’s the same as talking with ourselves, why don’t we just talk to the mirror? Why do we need to use illusions?” Fujioka can hear this boy’s nervousness fades away as he began to ramble about her quirks. The other kids in the class also began to listen intently at their conversations.
She gave a hum, “Well you could. But like I said, my illusions derive from your memory and subconscious, so whatever appears will always be unexpected. When you’re talking to the mirror, your mind is conscious on what to think and talk about. So, there’s bound to be missed memories from your active thoughts. Subconscious however, held your deepest emotions, good or bad, and it’ll always shows who you are as a person, what you actually perceive and the unconscious decisions that turns us into who we are today.”
She continues, “We might have a goal, or a dream, or someone special when we were younger, or in the past. But we will always grow, we will always change and our original decisions can get muddled along the way.
"Most of the time, we forgot our own starting point, too preoccupied with the present and future that we began to blur the past we started out. Although it's true to not dwell in the past, but that's how we learn and grow, by learning from our mistakes and fixing it. Then, we forgot to celebrate the steps we've taken so far, we forgot to be kind to ourselves, constantly trying to push our limits, and never giving up."
A pause, "Whether it's to revisit old memories, to remember your original selves, or to face the mistakes you've made, there's really no wrong way to let yourself grow. These illusions might show you your best memories, “ A bright yellow light appeared on the tip of her finger, those light shots up towards the air, shifting and turning into a smoke where a moving image can be seen within.
“This is one of my best memories,” Inside the yellow smoke, younger version of Miss Fujioka can be seen playing with what it seems to be her family. "It’s not a full on illusions as you can see, I’m just replaying active memories, but to activate subconscious illusions is different.”
She stood up and stepped in front, both her palms grew bright wide, as the light grew outwards, the classroom suddenly shifted and turned into a dark stormy night scenery. Many has gawked at surprise; some even fell from their chair that has merged with the turning scenery. It’s unreal on how Izuku can perceives his desk and chair but at the same time, he couldn’t see anything other that the dirt and grass under his feet.
Some even tried to stand up and feel the pouring rain but it seems that scenery illusions won’t affect them. Miss Fujioka chuckles at the spectacle, “Nothing in the illusion can physically affect you. Everything in here is a mere memory from my past.” And on cue, Miss Fujioka’s illusion appeared at far corner of their periphery.
The real Miss Fujioka smiled at the class, “This is what your illusions would look like.” She gestures at her illusion counterpart, “They can be you in any period, really. You as a toddler, as a pre-teen, you currently, or at some cases, someone else.”
Seeing the confusion at the student’s eyes, Fujioka explained, “It’s rare, but when you held so much feelings about someone, maybe a family, a long-lost friend, or someone that’s gone, my quirk can perceive it as your heaviest weight in your chest, and let it manifest into a illusions.”
“You can communicate and interact with this person, of course, but considering they’re from your subconscious, their answers and behavior might not always be the same to their real counterpart.” She then snaps her fingers and the dark stormy night melted away, turning into a fog of white smoke and dissipated a second later.
“That’s one example on how ‘Mirage’ works. Now considering it’s already ten thirty, your teacher wants us to be in the gym,” Sounds of chair and shuffles can be heard, “So let’s get going.”
Soon enough, all of the students walked side by side into the gym. Some has an interested expressions, some doesn’t have much expectations and others, has a grim face.
Izuku is the one with a frown on his face. Eyes darting back and forth towards Kacchan and his friends, he can already feel the illusions that appears isn’t going to be his favorite. Well, considering anything from his past is anything but happy, Izuku doesn’t really held much hope.
He just hopes whatever pops up won’t traumatize him further, or maybe his friends too.
Aizawa isn’t actually asleep. Like usual, he has been examining the class and assessing their reactions about the new curriculum. What stuck out in his impression is Bakugo, Midoriya, and Todoroki. Some other also have a grimace in their faces, but they’re not as intense as these three Problem Children.
He knew a gist about Todoroki family, so he can understand the deep resentment Shoto had on his face, but what confuses him is Bakugou and Midoriya. He doesn't really know these boy’s past other than their childhood relationship. Though he’ll figure it out later.
Once he got out and folded his sleeping bag, his mind replayed on what Fujioka once said to the class.
“It’s rare, but when you held so much feelings about someone, maybe a family, a long-lost friend, or someone that’s gone, my quirk can perceive it as your heaviest weight in your chest, and let it manifest into a illusions.”
A person popped into his head after he heard that. The familiar light blue cloud-like hair kept appearing, Aizawa can still felt the fluff of that hair even until now, remembering on how he mistook it as a cotton candy one time he was so sleep-deprived.
Then his hand grabbed the tuft of the floating hair, fingers grazing from light blue to his white ends. It felt like yesterday, when he saw the bright grin staring back at him, somehow always full of excitement even on their most tiring days. Aizawa raises his hand up, fingers tracing the air, memorizing the outlines of him.
From the corner of his smiling eyes to his pursed lips, oh how he misses the same blue that reminds him of their moments together, staring at the calm sea. His laugh somehow rings inside his ears, always so energetic, a bit of fondness that Aizawa can’t decipher at the time.
“Smile a bit more Shou! You look really nice smiling like that, y’know.”
He did smile, learnt to give his most softest smile he can muster. All of that only for him.
“H-hey, don’t worry, we’ll make it out of here, okay?” A pause between both of them, “Shou, can you smile for me?"
The request did take him off-guard at the time, but he complied, repeating the same motion of tugging his lips upward from many, many times he practiced in front of the mirror.
“I kinda misses your smile.” He tried to laughs it off, wearing his usual grin to brighten to the atmosphere.
He also misses his smile. Shouta also misses the person who gave him the reason to do so in the first place. Sighing, he broke off the memory lane and went to the gym, letting his mind to focus back on the present.
In the gym, Fujioka is currently explaining on how this lesson will work, “Alright, since we’ll be seeing memories, I want you to know that if you have something you don’t want to show or wanting privacy, you can tell me and we’ll do it one-on-one without your classmates seeing.”
No one raises their hand. Izuku glances towards his friend’s faces, and saw the same determination in each of them. He knew how stubborn his friends can be when they wanted to be a hero. Since none of his friends raises their hands, Izuku also kept his shaking palms down, trying to calm the beating heart.
“Okay, then we can start. Is there anyone wanted to go first?”
And after that, some people volunteers. Momo is the first. Once Mirage is activated on Momo, the previously U.A gym turned into a luxurious area, presumably Momo’s living room.
Her illusion is a young version of her childhood self. Both of them chatted in joy with each other. The younger Momo asked whether they made it as a hero, whether she saved anyone, and does she enjoys doing hero job. The girls cooed at how adorable young Momo is and kept teasing the girl. After that the illusions disappeared and the tension has somehow receded after Momo’s adorable childhood illusion.
Then after that, more and more began to follow. It starts off light, they smiles at Uraraka’s illusion, in which she’s a naughty and playful toddler, kept levitating the illusion furniture, they laughed at Mina’s illusions, where her counterpart kept asking for more gossip and apparently enjoys to prank the real Mina, then Kirishima, Asui, iida, Tokoyami, Sato and Ojiro.
But then the illusions began to turn worse starting from Koda, where his illusions is his younger self, holding his pets that has died. The boy cried at the memory. Then Sero, with his illusion in his mother’s bedroom after she passes away, he had a heart-to-heart talk with his younger self and even though no tears has been spilled, but from his hoarse voice, he might be ready to be in a verge of breaking down.
Then Kaminari who’s illusions appears to be inside his room. Younger self huddled inside the closet. They can hear a fight happening outside, a clash and bangs with something breaking. It was hard, the blonde tried to contain his fears and hugged his illusion self, reassuring himself with a gentle pat, maybe something he always wanted but never got. And then the Mirage disappeared.
“It never really heal after their divorce. It was messy and I kept wondering what would’ve happened if they just separated sooner rather than trying to stay.”
And obviously a group hug is a must have after every illusions, good or bad. Then after that, Shoji’s next to volunteer. His illusion is no less heart breaking, watching a young boy getting discriminated against for his mutation quirk. Then Jirou with a blank room, but her illusion is already enough to fill it with deep resentment. Apparently she has always been conflicted with herself as a hero, from years of being isolated because of her ’stalkerish’ quirk.
After that, Hagakure, with her illusion self getting lost in random places. It was a nice break from the heavy tension before, but then Shinso is next and what appeared is a young boy, muzzled and locked inside the utility room. It was horrifying.
Shinso can’t even have a proper conversation with his illusion, from his unwillingness to talk. He then just sighed and sat criss cross in front of his younger self, communicating with sign language in which thankfully, his illusion can reply to. It was silent for a whole five minutes, and once it ends, someone asked him what he was talking about.
“Just some things he doesn’t need to worry anymore. Told him I made it as a hero, and I have great friends now. I’m happy and better, not completely healed but I’m heading there.” In which the class began to smush the purple-haired boy into a tight hug from their joy after hearing Shinso said the sacred 'friend' word.
Shouta has been watching in the background, assessing his student’s mental activity and made sure to appoint them to specialized therapists after. He knew on how much his students needed it.
Then Aoyama’s illusions made Shouta’s instinct flares from danger. He doesn’t know what kind of coded conversation he has with his illusions, but Shouta will make sure to have a good talk with him after.
Todoroki is next, which shows the toddler without any scars on his face. Though it’s a bit unsettling seeing such calm child, even if it’s just an illusion. Their conversation wasn’t anything special or alarming, but Shouta has already placed Todoroki in his list of therapy kid.
The last two is Bakugou and Midoriya, Aizawa might won’t know what will appear but he has the feeling that these two will give him the most headache.
Bakugou’s illusion appeared inside a bathroom, must’ve been a school bathroom from the looks of it. But that’s not the surprising thing, what made the class surprised is how Bakugou’s illusion wasn’t even himself, but younger version of Midoriya.
Izuku is surprised. He never knew he held such weight in Kacchan’s mind. The greenette saw his friend gulped, and opened his mouth, “Sorry."
Both Izuku and the illusion was surprised, while the rest of the class just stares at them confused. Katsuki didn’t care on other people’s reaction, his eyes focused on the same face haunted his dream, the person he always regret to ever hurt, “I’m sorry for everything.”
Katsuki’s hand clenched into fists, his head lowered, not ready to face the dull emerald eyes, “I was a shitty person, did shitty things and I regreted everything. You shouldn’t be treated like that, I shouldn’t treat you the way I did.”
The blonde didn’t know whether he apologizes to his past regrets or the current Midoriya Izuku. He didn’t know whether he deserves to be forgiven, but he knew apology is a must.
U.A has obviously changed him. He kept wondering what would happen if ego didn’t went to his head, but what’s done is done. All he could do is to try mend the already broken pieces he smashed, maybe it won’t be the same as before, but at least he tried, right?
“I would always forgive you Kacchan.” Katsuki knew it’s just his subconscious, he knew it’s not the real Izuku, but then again the current Izuku will still say the same thing, too forgiving and too kind for his own good.
The silence broke as Illusion Izuku began to smile and asked, "Did you become a hero?"
Katsuki only nodded, containing his shaking body. The illusion beamed and laughed at his answer, "I always knew Kacchan will become a hero! Kacchan is the coolest."
Izuku watched as the interaction happened. The image Kacchan had about him is frighteningly accurate as Izuku will probably say the same things similar to the illusion Izuku.
Though, everyone watched as the frail illusion Izuku walked up towards Katsuki, placing his small palm on the blonde's chest. The smile on the illusion's face softened.
"But, there's no need to fret over the past, Kacchan. It's already over." He stares up towards Katsuki, emerald eyes glistened, "Kacchan is someone that won't give up despite what everyone says. He's the bravest, strongest and smartest person I know."
"You've always tried to do your best. And I trust that Kacchan already did his best to amend his mistakes." Everyone tried to ignore the sobs that slips out from Katsuki's lips, "You might not be the hero I needed in the past, but you can be one in the future. Though, promise me that you won't repeat the things you did to me to others, okay?"
With a shaky voice, Katsuki promised. Illusion Izuku raised his pinky finger up, prompting Katsuki to intertwine it with his.
While they made their pinky promise, illusion Izuku murmured, "I will always forgive you, but you have to learn to forgive yourself too." The illusion repeated one last time before dissipating into a thin white fog.
The mirage disappears and Katsuki immediately bolted out the gym, some tried to catch up to him but Aizawa-sensei has stopped them and let the explosive boy to have his own space.
Lastly is Izuku.
The greenette is not ready for whatever that will appear in his illusion. He began to feel trepidation and lump at the back of his throat. Though, he calms himself and prepares to step forward, face whatever inside his chest.
Like usual, the mirage started and showed their illusions. Though the whole class, even Izuku himself wasn’t prepared for what showed up at the mirage.
A dark bathroom, blood smeared on the floor and walls, with a broken mirror, and fragments of glass on the ground. That’s not the horrifying part, the one that catches their attention is the boy curled inside the bathtub, soaked in the pools of his own blood, as cuts scattered all across his body.
“Who are you?” Izuku forgot what he sounded like before but he never knew his voice was this desolate. He took a shaky breath and said, “I’m the future you.”
Dull eyes met it’s brighter counterpart. A smile appeared on the corner of illusion Izuku’s face, “A hero?” Somehow, such gentle voice can be so mocking.
Izuku nodded, he tried to compose himself, trying not to break the expression he plastered on his face. Though his illusion sat up straighter, the blood under him made an odious sloshing sound, “We made it?”
“Yeah, we did.” He answered with a muted tone.
Soft hum escapes the younger Izuku’s lips, “Does the scars heal?”
A pause, “Yeah, it won’t stay forever.” Izuku stares at how skinny his illusion is, how the blood has made a contrast and made his skin paler, sicklier.
The illusion glances the other way, seemed to preoccupied with his thoughts, “Are we happy?”
Now that’s the question Izuku can’t answer. He himself isn’t sure if he ever felt the burden in his shoulder lighten, he’s not sure when he’ll stop flinching at loud noises, he’s not sure whether he’ll stop making himself smaller, he’s not sure he’s okay.
Receiving no answer, his illusion gave a sigh, “Then if we’re not happy, why trying?” Izuku isn’t sure if it’s hallucination, but he saw the sharp glint in his illusion’s eyes.
“To save people like we always wanted to.” He finally gave an answer this time.
But the answer only made his illusion chuckle, Izuku’s not sure what’s so funny and frowned at him.
“To save them, or to save you?” His younger self asked. His illusion slowly stood up from the tub, “But is it worth it?” A bloody hand traces the greenette’s chest, “Is it worth it to stay like this? Why don’t you come with me for a rest, Izuku?”
Izuku’s head snapped up, he grabbed the outstretched hand, and threw it away. Exhaling a shaky breath, he spoke with determination this time, “I always wanted to save others. I won’t give up even after everything that happened.”
He lets go of the bloody hand. His illusion is silent, something brewed inside Izuku’s chest, he didn’t know where the courage came from, but he began to spill what he never dared to even say out loud, “Our life is shitty, I know. But even if I save others to compensate myself, at least I’m doing something, unlike you, sitting inside a cramped bathroom, already giving up before you even began.”
Younger Izuku barked out a mocking laughter, “Giving up? Izuku, I am you. We gave up. You’re just too stubborn to see it.”
Both were silent as the tension rises.
“I don’t like this.” Izuku finally murmured. His younger self also went silent. His illusion sighed, “I’m sorry. I should be nicer, but that wasn’t nice, was it?”
A soft shake of his head answered the illusion’s question. His illusion finally sighed, “Fine, if you want to stay, you do you.” Then he continued with a much softer tone, “Though, I’m always here when you needed. If you’re tired one day, you can always rest like we used to.”
Izuku doesn’t answer but the mirage disappears not long after. Izuku’s head lowered, eyes glued to the ground as he can sense Aizawa-sensei in front of him. He gently held his arms around his shoulders and guided him outside the gym.
Worried eyes kept following him until he went outside. After they’re in the hallway, Aizawa-sensei gave him a hug he never expected. Izuku baffled, “Sensei?”
“If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always come to me, to Yagi, Present Mic, Midnight, Hound dog, or anyone in U.A. We’ll have your back kid, you don’t need to do face it alone.”
Really, for years, Izuku tried times and times again to seek comfort from the blood that kept dripping from his skin, the cuts that numbed his ache. But now, hearing such assurance has somehow lifted the weight in his chest.
He never knew how breathing would be so easy after Aizawa-sensei gave him the safest embrace he ever felt, “Be kind to yourself kid.” Was the last words Aizawa-sensei told him before droplets of tears kept pouring, soaking the man’s scarf. Soft hiccups and muffled sobs made it’s way to his throat.
Izuku can gently closed his eyes to know that he’s finally safe.