Work Text:
Irritated, upset, nauseous
is how Rui felt in this moment. It was lunch break and he was on the roof, like always when Mizuki was in school. They made a little agreement to eat lunches together and to spend more time with eachother. It has been going great... until now.
Mizuki started bringing their friends with them to their little hangouts, usually Akito, Toya or An. Today it was Akito. Toya was busy in the school library and An had been sick all week. Rui didn't mind Akito being there, he actually liked Akito as a person. The problem wasn't Akito, it was him with Mizuki. Mizuki was always a very closed off person, even when they first met in middle school they were cold and not talkative. Which made this situation a thousand times worse.
They were all sitting in somewhat of a circle but Akito and Mizuki sat closer to eachother than Rui. They were talking and laughing at some jokes but Rui didn't pay attention to what they were saying, really. What he was paying attention to was how Mizuki ruffled Akitos hair when he made a stupid joke or how They would slap his thigh when they laughed. It's not really like they ignored Rui, they tried to get him into the conversation multiple times but Rui kept quiet, focusing on other thing. Their knees were touching and they were sharing their snacks (they offered Rui some too but he declined).
He couldn't put his finger on the feeling that was rising in his chest, he was sure though he was NOT happy. His final string was snapped when Mizuki slapped Akito on his back, but when they stopped they kept their hand there. Rui suddenly got up and Mizuki looked at him with a startled look. "Um... Is something wrong?" They asked confused but Rui just turned around and started walking to the door. That feeling only getting worse and worse. "R-Rui, wait! Where are you going?" he heard Mizuki yell before the doors were slammed shut behind him.
He knew that if he didn't get away from there then Mizuki would run after him, so he took off running. His first thought was Nene. She wouldn't ask as many questions, if he suddenly showed up, as Tsukasa. He ran to Nenes class and called out to her. She was unmotivated and a bit surprised but she slowly joined Rui. "What do you want?" She asked in a tired (maybe a bit annoyed) voice. Rui was still breathing hard after the run "Um... Can *huff* Can we eat together?"
She looked suspiciously at him but nodded her head anyway. They made their way to a quiet corner where they could eat in peace. Nene was glancing at him the whole time they were walking but kept quiet. Rui slid down the wall to sit down and sighed rather loudly.
"What's wrong?"
Oh wow, getting straight to the point.
"It's nothing." Was it nothing? He couldn't tell himself. It was the first time he felt like that, ever. Maybe it was just his stomach acting up or maybe he got a cold? He frowned. No it definitely wasn't a cold. He slumped back, resting his head against the wall. The day wasn't even colse to ending but he wanted to go home already.
Nene let out a huff of air and sat down next to him.
"Rui, I'm not blind" She looked at him with thoughtful eyes. "Isn't Akiyama here today? Why are we eating together?"
Rui flinched at the mention of Mizuki, dropped his head and groaned. "I just wanted to hang out...?" He said, but with one look from Nene he knew that this wasn't an accepted answer. He glanced at his food and frowned at the memory. "They're.. with Shinonome-kun right now." That feeling was back, irritation and nausea. It was hard to breathe and his eyes stung.
Nene looked at him like he was an idiot.
"So... why aren't you with them?"
"I didn't want to stay with them.." He mumbled out.
Nene was confused until that moment but now she was completely and utterly baffled. "You, Rui Kamishiro, didn't want to stay with Mizuki?" she frowned deeply. "Did you guy fight?" She asked carefully.
Rui was sighing and puffing the whole time. Getting upset was one thing, but not understanding why he was upset made him even more upset. "Can we just eat for now?"
Noticing how the conversation wasn't getting anywhere, she gave up but knew this was not the last time they would talk about Mizuki.
Rui tried to focus on his food but his phone wouldn't stop buzzing in his pocket. He knew why, he didn't have to look. It was Mizuki spamming him, asking what happened, where he went, if everything was fine. He knew it. He knew them. He knew them better than most people did... although now he wasn't sure anymore. The middle school times were gone and he wasn't their "best friend" anymore. Knowing that made him want to throw up. He slumped against Nenes shoulder with a noise of pure misery.
"You're heavy..." she mumbled but didn't even attempt to push him away or pull away herself. She put her hand on his head and awkwardly patted him. She usually hated physical affection but this time she could let it slide.
***
Rui spent the rest of the day avoiding Mizuki like fire. He waited so impatiently for school to end because he was tired of freaking out every time he saw pink. When the last bell rang he ran out of the school like a track star. He didn't even wait for Nene to walk together (like they always did). When he finally arrived home he threw his bag into a corner of his messy room and flopped onto his bed with a groan.
This day was the worst. Officially the worst. He didn't even get to hang out with Mizuki because of his stupid feelings. Feelings that he couldn't even understand! He didn't like any of this.
He slowly got up to change into comfortable clothes and take a shower, hoping he could wash the feeling away. He couldn't.
He flopped back on his bed, he had a lot of work to do for the upcoming show but he really couldn't focus on that today. Pulling out his phone he finally opened the messages Mizuki sent him.
Mizuki <3:
why did you leave? :(((
are you ok??
rui??????
is everything ok??
ruiiiiiii!
im worried! :((
rui!
answer or i will get mad >:(((
...
ok sorry i was kidding
i won't get mad
just tell me why you ran off
where did you go?
rui
where are you?????
The last message was a photo of them pouting or, he guessed it was supposed to be, frowning. He could only see their face, their mouth turned down, nose scrunched up and eyebrows knitted together in a sad manner. They looked quite adorable like that. Like an upset kitten. He saved the photo, smiling like an idiot at it.
Me:
Hey sorry for not texting you back
I suddenly got sick
His message got read immediately.
Mizuki <3:
OMG YOU'RE ALIVE!
BUT OH NOOO!! :((
ARE YOU STILL SICK?????
FEELING ANY BETTER?
He let out a small laugh at the messages. Their personality didn't change even when texting.
Me:
Yes yes I'm fine now don't worry
Mizuki <3:
I'm glad! :D
hey
rui?
Me:
hm?
The text bubble appeared and disappeared from the display before he finally got the message.
Mizuki <3:
wanna call?
Oh
*Oh*
Rui was surprised to say the least. Mizuki never really called him. Sure they texted a lot but... called? What would they even talk about? What if he said something stupid? Was Mizuki mad at him for today?
He went from laying down to sitting up to pacing around his room, nervous and biting at his nalis thinking of a best way to respond.
Mizuki <3:
we dont have to tho
Well shit. He waited for too long.
Me:
No! Ofc let's call, I was looking for my headphones.
Mizuki <3:
^v^
He let out a sigh of relief after saving himself. He was such a mess talking to Mizuki, it was always like that but lately it got way worse. He was so deep in thought he almost jump out of his skin when his phone started ringing (He had an mmj ring tone). He put on this headphones and tested his voice before answering with shaky hands.
"Yo! Rui, How are you feeling?"
Ok... The headphones were not a good idea. He could hear every little rustling and every breath on the other side. This was not good for his heart.
"Oh! Hi! Uhhh... I'm feeing better now." He was telling the truth this time. He was really feeling better, not because he wasn't sick anymore but because he got to talk to Mizuki.
"Ahhh~ That's good! You really got me worried today!" They said before falling silent again "Next time... tell me if something's wrong" They added, changing their tone into something Rui couldn't quite recognize.
The words hit him in the gut, the feeling of guilt slowly building up in his heart. "Sorry about that Mizuki, I just didn't want to interrupt your talk with Shinonome-kun" He laughed awkwardly.
"With lil' bro? Oh, come on Rui! I would've taken you to the nurse and made sure you were ok!"
If you asked Rui what he was feeling in that moment he wouldn't be able to answer that. His heart was beating so hard against his chest, against his ribs, as if it wanted to jump out. His face felt hot and he couldn't help but smile. His head was momentarily empty but he knew he had to answer. "Uh... R-right! Thank you..." He managed to get out. "Next time I'll be sure to tell you."
He heard a satisfied hum on the other side and heard some rustling of fabric on the other side. "Are you working on something?"
"Mhm, It's a new dress for myself. I thought I could use a new one" They said as the sound of the fabric continued. "I'm trying out a more cutesy style than usual"
"Cuter than your usual style? Is that even possible?" Rui teased, letting out his signature laugh.
They let out a little chuckle before continuing "Yes, it is. I'm making a Lolita inspired dress. You know, lot's of pink, bows, lace, cute patterns. All of that" They continued working on the dress, humming to themselves.
He couldn't help but imagine how Mizuki would look in a cute, pink, frilly dress and just the thought of that made him smile like an idiot at his phone. He imagined how they would spin to show him every detail and how they would rant about little things that they put effort into. Hidding his face in his hands he let out a silent sigh, silent enough for Mizuki not to hear. His (as usual) cold hands made the heat on his face all the more obvious to him, His cheeks felt on fire.
"I've already tried it on a few times, l'm just working on the finishing details now"
"Can I see it when you're done?"
There was a short pause before Mizuki answered "Um- Sure I..." They trailed off obviously thinking about what they were about to say. "I could try it on right now" They said a little bit quieter.
The words stung in his ears. Mizuki wanted to show off their work. They wanted Rui to see it. It was just a nice suggestion that probably didn't mean anything to Mizuki but to Rui it was a lot more than he would've ever expected. It meant that Mizuki wanted to shown him now, to hear his opinion, to show off.
Clearing his throat and trying to act cool again, Rui answered choosing his words carefully "Yeah, I would like to see it." His voice came out softer than he wanted, the whole atmosphere of the call changed with his words.
"Okay- let me just-" Mizuki started changing for what Rui could hear. A lot of fabric and zippers could be heard. He was waiting patiently for a few minutes before Mizuki spoke up again. "I'm going to turn the camera on now" They said and Rui automatically accepted the pop-up on the screen as they turned to video call now.
Rui saw Mizukis face first, leaning forward and setting up their phone to stand up. Even though it was quite late They still had their make-up and hair done. As they finally got the phone to stand up, they backed up a little and gave a small wave at the camera. Rui couldn't help but smile and wave back.
Mizuki slowly started to back away more and more, revealing their creation. The sight punched the air out of Ruis lungs. The Dress was mostly pink and white with some dark blue detailing. It had long flowy sleeves with lace at the end and the skirt part was puffed up with petticoats. The top had a collar with frills and a big blue bow tie that matched the color of the bows in their hair. Their hair was also a different style than usually, It was half up half down pigtails. They spinned around just like Rui imagined, showing the back that also had a big bow on it and a zipper hidden mostly by their hair. Once they stopped showing off they started to sway their hips to make the skirt move and having fun looking at it, almost as if they forgot about the call. Rui could only describe the sight as adorable. The dress, the room, the movements, Mizuki themselves it was all so adorable.
The smile on his face stayed unwavering "It looks great, really suits you" Rui said getting a little closer to the phone to get a better look at them.
Mizuki looked up with a big smile "You really think so? I was scared it would look a bit... weird on me" They said, obviously a little nervous about their work.
"No, you look really cute " He said without thinking before fumbling with his words "I- In that dress i mean, it looks great on you! Not weird, not at all!" He took a big breath and tried again "It looks really cute, you look really cute. You did a really good job, Mizuki." He finally said what he wanted to say from the start.
Mizuki figetting hands suddenly stopped and their eyes widened. The words hung in the air and the silence was deafening. Mizuki turned their head away bringing their hands up to their face and hinding behind them. They were obviously embarrassed with all the praise. A shaky breath escaped their mouth. "Y- You're too nice..." They mumbled out still looking away from the camera.
Rui didn't say anything but his smile grew, he knew Mizuki wasn't used to getting praised a lot, so from now on he thought he could maybe fill that spot. He was truly amazed by their work, not only right now but even when they made his stage outfit. It felt like magic to him, his whole personality captured in a peace of clothing, He admired them.
"Thank you." They finally looked back at the camera, they had a small face on their face but their eyes were filled with pure happiness.
"Mhm, you're truly amazing, Mizuki"
Mizuki waved of his other compliments and started walking Rui through every step of making that dress. Pointing to different parts and explaining what they did and where they had a bit of trouble. Rui listened to every word very carefully and asked questions, letting Mizuki rant for an hour or two. They lost track of time talking about the dress, moving to talking about school, then Rui told them about the next show that WxS was working on.
"Ah! Speaking of your shows, you should come over this week!" They suddenly spoke up "I found some really nice gold thread and I want to redo the seams in your jacket, so bring your stage costume with you!" They babbled on but Rui stopped paying full attention at 'you should come over'. He hasn't been at Mizukis since Middle school. A lot has probably changed. Just from what he could see behind Mizuki he could tell that it wasn't the same as before.
"Sure, I'll be there" He muttered and just as he did Mizuki yawned into their hand stretching their back a bit. It was cute, very cute.
He looked at the time and saw that it was 2 am. "You don't have a call with nightcord today?"
"No, today got called off because of some internet issues K's been having" They said and yawned again.
"Then you should probably go to sleep now, I expect to see you in school tomorrow, fufu~"
"Wha- Why?~" They whined like a child with a little frown "I came to school today! Isn't that enough for the week?" They pouted
And as much as Rui thought that little pout made them look like a kitten he did not give in "Mizuki, you're attendance is already in shambles." He said with a sigh.
"But-"
"Plus" He interrupted "You get to hang out with me."
The silence and more neutral face made Rui think they were considering it. A long, exaggerated huff broke the quiet. "Fine... I'll see you tomorrow" The mumbled.
The feeling of his heart wanting to escape came again but he suppressed it as well as he could. "See you tomorrow, Mizuki" He was about to hang up when he quickly added "Sweet dreams" and pressed the hang-up button.
He put his phone away and turned in his bed. His heart was still beating fast and hard in his chest. It didn't hurt like he imagined a heart attack would, quite the opposite actually, he couldn't stop smiling. He finally decided to go to sleep, he had to wake up early after all. He heard a 'ding' from his phone but ignored it, focusing his thoughts on Mizuki.
Mizuki <3:
goodnight <3
**********
The next day he woke up in a very good mood. He wasn't the only one to notice his smile. As soon as he walked out of his house he saw Nene waiting for him. The moment she heard him, without looking up from her switch, she started complaining "Next time you decide to run home alone give a damn notice-" She stopped the moment she looked at him. "Why do you look like that?"
Rui was too excited to see Mizuki again to care about Nenes complaining. "Look like what? Does my hair look weird?" He padded his hair down, though he doubted it was that, he spent all morning glancing in his mirror making sure he looked fine. He didn't really know why but he even tied his hair up, which was rather unusual and reserved for the shows.
"No, you have a creepy grin on your face... Stop it" She fake shivered and grimaced.
Rui laughed and rolled his eyes "Oh you hurt me, is that how you react to your friends happiness?" He put his hand on his cheek in a dramatic, joking manner.
Nene kicked his foot makimg him stumble, letting out an annoyed sigh. Rui chuckled at his little friends aggression as she calmed down again. "Is Akiyama coming to school today?" She finally asked.
Rui suddenly stopped walking, pretty much giving everything away by the look of his face "How did you- Why are you asking?" He fumbled with his words.
She shrugged "Trying to figure out what's got you smiling like Emu in a candy shop" She glanced at him "And I think i just got it"
"Well- I didn't get to spend time with them yesterday!" He argued.
"Yeah and from what i got, it was you that left them" She went from glancing to straight up glaring at him.
"I..." He trailed off. Okay, she got him there but he just felt the need to leave or he would actually go mad. "I had a good reason" He mumbled.
"I'm sure you did" She said in a sarcastic tone. Rui gave up on arguing. They walked in silence the rest of the way. They didn't have to walk for long, they lived pretty close to the school. Nene was texting Emu the whole way and when they got to the school gate she told Rui about how Emu wouldn't stop texting her and how tired she was of it but all that was said with a smile on her face. Rui only shook his head and scanned the people around them. He saw Toya and Akito walking ahead of them and next to them...
He grinned and told Nene to not wait for him. She only rolled her eyes and went back to texting. As he sped up a bit to catch up with the others he stopped right behind his victim and leaned down to talk right into their ear. "Boo!" He half whispered.
"AHHGH!" A high pitched yell rang through everyones ears. Their yell was louder than he expected and the deep blush on their face showed that they also didn't expect it. "Oh my god, Rui!" Mizuki whisper yelled, slapping him on the shoulder. "Are you crazy? I almost had a heart attack!" They continued and Rui just burst out laughing at their reaction. He really didn't expect them to jump up 10 feet in the air at a little 'boo'. "R-Rui! It's not funny-" They tried but joined in on the laughing as soon as they said that.
"Are you guys done yet? Everyone is staring at us." Said Akito with a frown but next to him Toya couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "Seriously, Toya? You too?" Akito sighed and started walking again "Well don't blame me if you're late to class" He muttered and Toya immediately followed him.
Rui and Mizuki glanced over at eachother and started giggling again before Mizuki started dragging Rui. "Come on, you're walking me to my class today. You're the one that forced me to come today after all" They said and pulled Rui inside by his sleeve. Rui looked down and their hand and for a split second he thought how way more convenient and comfortable just holding hands would be. The thought hit him like a truck and he felt his face heat up in embarrassment. 'What are you thinking, Kamishiro Rui!' He scolded himself in his thoughts as they walked the halls. He didn't even realize that they were already in front of Mizuki classroom. "Well..." Mizuki started unsure. "I'll see you at lunch?" It was definitely a question, like they weren't sure because of what happened the day before.
"Yes, Of course" He answered immediately and smiled "I'll see you at lunch". He walked to his classroom and once he got there he fell into his chair. A few people gave him weird looks but it wasn't anything he wasn't used to. He couldn't get images of Mizuki out of his head. Maybe he was seriously getting sick. He lost track of time as he doodled in his notebook, Some robo designs, some random flowers, stars, hearts and easy shapes but mostly doodles of a cute pink haired person that wouldn't leave his thoughts alone. He was so focused about not thinking about Mizuki that he almost missed the bell ringing. He was still very deep in thought when-
"Rui!" Someone yelled in his ear. He suddenly snapped out of his thoughts and saw Nene standing over his seat. "I called your name like five times" She said, obviously annoyed.
"Ah- Sorry, sorry I was just... Thinking" He said and quickly closed his not book with the drawings.
Nene let out an annoyed huff "I was going to ask you if i should wait for you next break, or are you eating with Akiyama?" Her tone gave away she didn't really care or even hoped he wouldn't eat with her.
"Oh, Yeah no, I'm eating with Mizuki" He said with his smile reappearing.
"You're so hopeless..." Nene mumbled out to herself and went back, just as she left the first bell rang.
****
He bolted out of the room grabing his lunch as soon as the bell rang. He made his way quickly to the rooftop. This really excited feeling rising in his chest and this time he wouldn't let Akitos presence ruin the mood. As he opened the door he saw Mizuki already waiting sitting on a bench with their back turned to the door. They were alone. He slowly made his way to sit next to them "Shinonome-kun isn't coming today?".
Mizuki turned to look at him with a grin "No, he said he's going to help his boyfriend in the library~"
"Wha-" Ruis eyes widened "Boyfriend..?"
It was Mizukis turn to look shocked "You didn't know? Akito and Toya-kun are dating!" They explained with a big smile that said they teased Akito about it a lot.
For some reason Ruis first feeling was relief. It was like some burden was taken off of him. He slowly smiled back thinking abou the two "They make a good couple."
"Right?! I knew it was going to happen the moment I saw how Toya looked at Akito, you could basically see the hearts in his eyes!" They continued their little rant about how they knew from the beginning and something else he didn't hear. His whole focus was on how their hands moved a lot while they talked and how their face was a dead giveaway to what they were feeling. He must have been pretty zoomed out because Mizuki suddenly waved a hand right before his eyes and looked a bit concerned at him. "You with me?" They asked getting even closer to get a good look and Ruis face.
"Oh- Yeah I was just-" 'Looking if you have any beauty marks on your face' Was what he thought and was actually doing but he would rather burry himself alive than say that "I- I'm just a bit tired... Didn't sleep that well last night" was the best thing he could come up with.
Mizukis face softened slightly "That would explain why you've been so out of it" they finished with a thoughtful face and look at the time.
They looked around, as if to make sure they were alone and scooted away from Rui to the edge of the bench. Rui felt confused and a little disappointed at Mizukis move. Mizuki took a deep breath before clapping their hands on their lap "Come on! You have about 20 minutes to rest before the next bell"
His confusion must have been obvious because Mizuki sighed and continued "You said you were tired... So i thought maybe you could like... rest your head..." They didn't finish the sentence but it was obvious they were offering Rui to use their lap as a pillow.
If panic had a different name it would definitely be Rui. He felt that heart pounding feeling again, his throat closed not letting him speak and his mouth felt dry. He took it a shaky breath looking from Mizukis face to their lap, even though it was just a nice gesture from them it felt weirdly intimate. What was worse is that Rui didn't even hesitate. He layed down on his side letting his legs hang off the edge of the bench and slowly put his head on their lap, his face turned away from their body. If felt warm and as soon as his head hit their lap he realized that maybe he wasn't entirely lying about being tired, he suddenly felt like his whole body was heavy. As he felt the tension in his body leave he relaxed. He felt a little startled when an unsure hand slowly started petting his head. He didn't pull away from the touch, he allowed it. It felt weirdly natural this whole situation didn't feel like something weird or something they shouldn't do. It felt right.
Rui let out a quiet, satisfied hum as Mizuki got more confident in thier hand movements. They stroked his head and started humming a song, as if to let Rui relax even more. "Is that a nightcord song?" Rui asked carefully.
"Yeah, It's a bit older but I still like to hum the melody a bit, K made sure it was catchy" They said and he could hear the small smile in their voice.
Suddenly a past conversation falshed in his mind "Mizuki..." He started and Mizuki let out just a little noise, signaling him to go on "You're not lonely anymore too... right?"
The hand that was stroking his hair stopped in place as they spoke up "I guess... I'm not" they let out a half breath half chuckle "We both grew a lot since Middle school" They started to slowly stroke his hair again "But I'm glad we didn't... grow apart."
Rui didn't know what to say. He thought they were growing apart but he felt so dumb right now. He felt like he was being left behind just because they found other friends. How could he be so selfish.
"You know.." Mizuki continued their train of thought "After you graduated from Middle school... I felt lonely not the lonely I always did..." They looked down at Ruis face that was still turned away "I missed you... a lot" Those words hurt him. Probably more then they should've. He knew how they felt, He missed them too. The first week of school he still packed Mizukis favorite snacks to share before realizing it won't be possible. "It really felt like destiny when I saw you at school, here again" Rui chuckled at that. He remembers calling their first meeting in Middle school destiny and Mizuki remembered it too.
He finally turned it their lap to look at them. They were now twirling the long strand of his hair in their fingers. Rui felt his heart swell with this overwhelming feeling. It felt like this moment could last forever and he wished it did. "I missed you too, Mizuki"
The silence felt so comforting and they were just staring into eachothers eyes. Mizuki stopped playing with his hair, instead they put their hand on his cheek, brushing their thumb across it. Ruis body moved on it's own as he pushed up against the touch. He grabbed their hand in his and closed his eyes. It was so warm and comforting. He felt like something missing this whole time got returned to him. Like he found something he lost a long time ago. He never thought he might be touch starved but he really questioned it in that moment.
The sweet and tender moment got interrupted by the first bell. Mizuki pulled away it a hurry making Ruis head to be suddenly jerked up. They gathered their things, their movements frantic. They said a quick and quiet bye before running off. Leaving Rui sitting with his hand tracing his cheek where it got touched and felt heat under his fingers. His heart couldn't have been beating harder than it that moment.
Me:
I need your help
Nene 🎮:
I'll come over after school.
****
He heard the front door open but didn't bother getting up. Nene pulled a face as she walked into the room. "You look like a sad sack of potatoes" She said and flopped down on the bed next to Rui, pulling out her switch. She kept quiet, which in Nenes language meant she was waiting patiently for him to start talking.
"Nene..." He whined out tossing on his bed "Do you ever feel really excited or happy when i touch you?"
Nene looked at him with a face of pure disgust and frowned, fake gaging. "If you're going to confess your undying love for me my answer is 'please stay away from me'" She hugged her shoulders and shivered.
Rui sighed "I'm going to ignore everything you just said and take that as a no." The thoughts continued, he couldn't put what he was feeling into words couldn't explain it. He decided starting from the start would be a good idea "I've been feeling this weird void lately..." He started and Nene gave him a little hum telling him to keep talking "It feels lonely, even when I'm not alone..."
"Do you feel it right now?" She asked but didn't look up from her game.
He thought about it for a second before nodding his head "Yeah, I do."
Nene hummed in acknowledgment and let Rui speak again.
"This Void does sometimes disappear... When I'm with someone" He sat up and hugged his knees. "I don't know why but they make me feel like I'm complete" A little smile appeared on his face "It's like destiny..."
"It's Akiyama, right?"
'Of course she knows' Rui thought to himself and let out a huff. He slowly nodded again. "It's always them, everything bad and good in my day-to-day life has been revolving around Mizuki"
"You like them, right?"
He looked at her, rising an eyebrow "Well yes, of course I do."
"No I mean-" She let out a frustrated breath "I mean, do you have a crush on them?"
"A crush?" Rui asked surprised at the question. He never thought about that. He thought that holding their hand would be nice and when they touched his heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't a crush. Right? He did think they were adorable and often thought of holding them when they felt insecure, but that's not a crush he just wanted to take care of his friend. He often zoomed out while looking at their face and asking himself if their lipgloss had a specific taste, but that was normal. Right? He sometimes did think that his hands were the perfect size to hold their waist and he really did believe that them meeting was destiny, especially after they met in high school again. It obviously wasn't a crush- "Oh." His face suddenly got hot and his head became empty.
Nene sighed and looked at him with pity in her eyes "Don't tell me you just realized it?"
He turned his head with a terrified look "Nene..."
"Oh... Rui..." She said quietly and in a very unusual manner she pulled him into a hug. "It's fine but... How did you not realize it"
His eyes stung as he pouted "You say as if it were obvious" he pulled closer to her.
"Are you saying it wasn't?" She asked with a genuinely surprised expression.
"What?"
"I thought you liked them since Middle school, you wouldn't shut up about them when you left for High school"
He fell silent, thinking about the words. "I... might have liked them already at that time" He groaned at the slow and painfully obvious realization.
Nenes hand moved to stroke his hair but he grabbed it on instinct, holding it back from even touching his hair. Nene gave him a knowing smile and rested her hand on his shoulder instead. He pulled her closer, trying to find some form of comfort but after what he just found out the void was all the more obvious and painful. He could never express to Nene how thankful he was for her reassurance and affection but somehow he still felt weird emptiness in his heart.
Nene tried to distract him by talking about Emu and Tsukasas new show idea and surprisingly it really helped Rui. He took some notes on what needed to get changed in the story and what little tricks he could do on stage. Nene gave her insight from time to time but mostly was just criticizing Ruis too dangerous or expensive ideas. As he started to work on a little bomb that would blow out releasing little mechanical butterflies, Nene decided to go home.
It was about 10 pm when he got a notification on his phone.
Mizuki <3:
heyyy! whacha doin??
He felt stupid now. He literally saved their name with a heart next to it. It really was obvious to everyone but him.
Me:
Working on a little project for a new show
why?
Mizuki <3:
i have 3 hours until the call with n25
wanna talk?
He smiled. They did it once and he thought that now changing the roles, him being the one working, would be a nice thing. He was a little nervous, Mizuki wasn't just his best friend now they were now his best friend that he was in love with.
Me:
Sure, of course
The message got read immediately and the calling pop-up appeared on his screen not even a second after. He cleared his throat and answered the phone, putting it on speaker so he could work while talking.
"Hey! What is it exactly that you're working on?" Mizuki asked right after he picked up.
"It's a little bomb-"
"A BOMB?!" He heard Mizuki scream as their mic cut out and he could barely make out what they were even saying.
He chuckled at the exaggerated reaction. "Mizuki, let me finish."
"Right, right! Sorry!" They said quickly "So... what type of bomb..?"
"I made those little mechanical butterflies and never found any use for them" He paused for a short moment focusing on a little screw before he continued "But they fit the theme of our new show perfectly so the bomb would just act as a little help to quickly spread them on the stage." He said imagining how cool and explosion of butterflies would look. "I'll probably add some little additional features into the bombs like glitter and confetti to make it look better under the stage lights-" He cut himself of "Sorry, am I talking too much?" He asked with a little bit of anxiety hidden in his voice.
Mizuki let out what sounded like a half laugh "No, I like listening to you" They said it a calm tone "Especially if it's about something you love doing"
His heart did a backflip and faceplanted at the end. Yup, he was definitely in love. Their little reassurance meant a lot to Rui and they probably knew it because, well they were the same in that aspect. Rui couldn't wipe the smile off of his face and he was really glad this wasn't a video call.
"Want to tell me what the show is about?"
Rui lit up even more at that and started telling them all about the original idea from Emu and Tsukasa and how he and Nene worked on it to get a more consistent and impactful story. He talked about the roles he already assigned in his head, Emu being the main lead this time. Mizuki listened to it the whole time, making little noises to signal that they were listening and sometimes adding their opinion to some things. Mizuki then proceeded to tell him about what the costumes could look like and color the stage should have. They got into a little disagreement about the color of Ruis outfit on the stage and Mizuki was not letting it go.
"No way! White would not suit the character at all, black and muted purples would be way better!" They argued
"But the character is from a wealthy family so white, red and gold would fit better." He said with not as much of a push as Mizuki, he was invested but definitely not enough to get heated about it.
"Trust me, I could make any colors look fancy and expensive" They huffed out.
Rising an eyebrow, Rui asked "Are you saying you want to design the outfits?"
"Well obviously! But not if you go with red and gold for your character."
He put on a big smile "Then maybe I'll reconsider it"
"Good!" They said clapping their hands, happy with the outcome of the conversation "You look way better in black anyway."
He felt his face get warm "I do?"
"Yeah! It puts the focus on your hair which is definitely a good thing"
"So from what I'm hearing..." He felt brave enough to tease them a little "You like my hair" He laughed in his signature way.
"W-well-" It was pretty clear they were embarrassed and taken by surprise. "It's... soft" They mumbled, it was barely audible but Rui could still hear it and it made his heart bang against his chest. Remembering how their hand felt stroking his hair he felt a little blush on his face. It felt so dumb to him, to blush like a teenage girl when she sees her crush. This was not good for his heart.
"Soft?" He pushed a little, as much as he felt nervous he wanted to hear more.
He heard a little groan on the other side, it felt like he wasn't supposed to hear that but he's smile widened when he realized they were struggling to find words.
"Your hair is nice to touch." It was said quickly "I wouldn't mind touching it again..." They followed up and Ruis little blush grew.
"Um-" He stuttered as he tried to collect himself again "You can touch it next time too..." It came out quieter than he wanted but he felt it was appropriate for how embarrassing it felt to say that.
It was quiet for a while before Mizuki whispered "Well I can't wait then.." They chuckled a little and took a little pause again. "I'll see you tomorrow, Rui"
Before Rui could compute what they just said, they hung up. He spinned in his chair looking at the ceiling. 'I'll see you tomorrow' meant they were coming to school again, right? He thought to himself. Getting dizzy from spinning he stopped and buried his head in his hands. He wasn't ready to see Mizuki in person but he also really wanted to see them. Maybe if he spent more time with them he could fill up that void and not think about his feelings. He was a mess and he knew that.
He decided he would get his shit together
***
He did not get his shit together.
He was walking to school with Nene in silence like always and the moment they walked through the school gate he heard a very familiar voice.
"Rui!" Mizuki yelled and they jumped on him from behind, putting their arms around his neck and unintentionally making him choke on air. His instinct kicked in and he pulled their arms away from his neck making them hang on his shoulders like a backpack while he held them so they wouldn't fall. He heard giggling next to his ear "Hahaha- S- Sorry about that" They managed out between laughing.
His ears went red and Nene just gave him a knowing smirk and walked away leaving him alone. He lowered himself and dropped Mizukis arms so they could safely land and tried to put on his best "mad" face. "Mizuki, maybe try not to kill me next time"
"Hey, It was an accident! I was just happy to see you!" And Ruis mad face was gone just like that.
"You're lucky I'm also happy to see you" He smirked but punched himself in his thoughts. Why was he saying stuff like that? Well, he wanted to get a reaction out of them but every time he said something like that he was scared to even look them in the eyes. He quickly changed the subject "I'm glad you came to school today too"
Mizuki got quiet at the mention of them being in school, Rui could see something was bothering them but didn't dare to ask. At least not right before class.
He automatically walked Mizuki to class as if it were normal for them and said their 'see you's. The air was a bit tense and Rui made a mental note to have a conversation on the rooftop. It was an unspoken rule that everything that happened on the rooftop stayed on the rooftop. Rule that was made in middle school but it still held up to this day.
***
When he went up on the rooftop Mizuki was already there, they sat on the bench like the day before and were waiting, humming a tune.
Rui sat next to them and they automatically moved their hands from their lap making it free for Rui to rest him head on. 'Oh, so is this our thing now?' He thought to himself as he plopped his head down. He definitely wasn't complaining, it felt nice. Mizukis hand traveled to his hair just like before and they kept quiet.
Rui attempted to ask something that was bothering him for a long time now. "Mizuki?" A little noise of acknowledgement hinted at him made him continue "Is school something you're scared of?"
Their hand twiched slightly at the question but it didn't stop playing with his hair. He saw the shake their head slightly with a big frown. "No, school is fine I'm not scared of it..." He kept quiet, feeling like they had more to say. "I'm more scared of people..."
"What?" The question slipped out against his will.
"You probably heard it all already" They took a deep breath "'Is that Akiyama?' 'Why is he dressed like that?' 'Doesn't he look like a girl?' 'Is he a cross dresser?'" They said their eyes stuck looking ahead. "That's just a few of the things that go around the school..."
Rui listened to them and felt the need to speak up but couldn't find the words. Yes, he heard a few times some first years talking about a classmate that always dressed in girly clothes but he never even stopped to think it was about Mizuki. To him they never felt like someone weird, if anything he was the weird one out of the two of them.
"Mizuki..." He got up to crouch before them, forcing them to look at him and rested his hands on their knees. "I never once thought of you as weird" He said in a warm tone "I mean have you seen me?" He got a little strained chuckle out of them "Rumors are being spread about you, people gossip about you and talk shit behind your back" Mizuki made a face and was about to say something when Rui continued "But!" He said to stop them from talking "You still stay true to yourself and you never once changed for the sake of others" He smiled at them "And I think it makes you way better than any of the people that say those things about you"
Mizuki suddenly jumped up, putting their arms around Rui and burying their head in his chest. He was surprised at the action until he heard silent sobs coming from them. He put his arms around them and pulled them impossibly closer. "You're perfect just as you are, Mizuki. You don't have to change for anyone." He spoke, stroking their back and their sobs became louder, they let it all out. All the fear and anger and pure sadness, they let it all out in his arms.
Rui just kept holding them his protective side hurt seeing them like this but he was happy they felt comfortable enough for him to be the one that got to see them cry. Once they pulled away he knew it was over for him, Their eyes were red and puffy, their make-up was smudged and messy, they and tears and snot on their face and yet they still looked like the most beautiful person in the whole world to him. He took his sleeve and whiped the tears of their cheek and they look and his uniform with terror.
"I- I got your stuff all w-wet and dirty" They hiccuped out, it was hard to talk for them over the sobs.
Rui looked down on his uniform, there were two obvious wet spots and some pink eyeliner smudges. Rui could care less about that but Mizuki seemed really upset by it. "Hey, it's okay really. I can just take this off" He pulled his sweater off leaving him in just the under shirt and his tie.
"Y-you'll get in T-t..trouble" They were still struggling to speak. It hurt Rui to see how much they cared about him even in that state, they couldn't just be selfish for a second and think about themself, they were always looking out for others.
He put his hand on their cheek and gave them a stern look "It's fine, Mizuki. Don't worry about me."
"R-right... Okay" They looked down and Rui suddenly became aware of what position they were in. He was sitting on the cold rooftop floor and Mizuki sat in his lap with legs on either side of him. He still had his hand on their cheek and their hands were holding on to his shirt.
He raised their head by their chin, which forced them to look into eachothers eyes. There was a slight mood change. Rui continued to wipe their tears away. Their mouth was slightly open and they were slowly calming down, taking deep breaths. His eyes traced down from their eyes to their lips against his will. Their lips were glossy and trembling. Their eyes wondered around his face, from his eyes, his nose, his lips to his cheeks and again to his eyes. His heart started thumping in his chest and he didn't want to pull his hand away. Mizuki inched closer looking him deep in the eyes, he wanted to pull away, to stop his thoughts, to look away and never look at them like that again, but he couldn't. He was addicted to their touch, to their eyes, everything about then pulled him in. He didn't even realize he got closer, so close he could feel their breath on his face. Their noses were almost touching and he just felt the need to close the distance. He couldn't handle it anymore "Mizuki, can I..." He whispered but couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.
His heart skipped multiple beats when Mizuki gave him the smallest of nods. He put his other hand on their waist as if to ask for reassurance. Was he really about to...? The last bit of hesitation faded when Mizuki pulled in closer, their noses touching, and their hands let go of his shirt, resting on his chest lightly.
His hand tilted their head up and to the side a bit. He took in the view as their eyes automatically closed. Their cheeks were a deep pink as they waited for him to finally kiss them. He slowly pulled their face in. The kiss was hot and long but oh so intimate, so full of longing. Their lips were pressed together but they were both too sacred to move, too sacred to move away, they were so afraid of this moment ending. Rui pulled them impossibly closer and deeped the kiss, desperate, he was so desperate for this moment to last forever. Mizuki threw thier arms around his neck and their hands found his hair immediately. They really liked it, didn't they? Kissing Mizuki didn't feel real to him and the fact that they kissed back, that they held him and didn't want to let go either was the best feeling ever for him.
Mizuki was the first to pull away, gasping of air. They looked into his eyes and suddenly panic flooded in as he tried to find any excuse or explanation he could give. But Mizuki stayed. They didn't pull away from his firm grip, they stayed close and put their forehead on his.
"The first time you said..." Mizuki said in a whisper, they eyes were closed and voice shaky "That us meeting was destiny.. I thought you were full of shit" They let out a half laugh and he felt their breath on his face, flinching at their words. "but..." Rui felt frozen, listening to every word like his life was depending on it. "But when I saw you again, here in this school... I thought that maybe you were right..."
His breath was caught in his throat, he had to say it. He had to. "Mizuki..." His eyes suddenly stung "I don't care about destiny" Mizukis eyes opened with a little panic in them "All I do care about is that..." His voice was just as shaky and theirs now, it was really hard to say "I want to be with you." Mizuki started at him in shock. "Destiny or not, I don't care!" He couldn't handle the emotions anymore, he pulled them into an embrace and hid his face in the nook of their neck. "Just let me be in your life, let me hear your voice every day, let me touch you, let me hold you and just please-" His voice broke "Please... let me love you.."
He automatically regarded every word once he helt how frozen Mizuki was in his arms but he didn't dare to let them go, he didn't want to see their face. Every second of silence felt like a stab to his heart. 'I messed up, didn't I?' He thought to himself. He gathered up his courage to let them go, preparing himself that after his confession letting them go out of his arms wasn't the only letting go he might have to do.
His heart stopped When he finally saw their face. Big streams of tears running down their face and biting their bottom lip. Their shoulders were shaking and they looked mostly mad.
He messed up.
"I- I'm sorry, Mizuki-"
"Rui, you idiot!" They interrupted him with a loud sob "H- How can you say that?"
At this point he didn't know what to do. He waved his hands around not knowing if he should comfort them, say something or leave them alone.
They continued "I... I was letting you!" Their voice was a yell at this point. "I thought it was obvious!"
"What?"
Their hands were wiping the tears not doing a very good job. "I was letting you do all that, goddammit!" They looked him straight in the eyes. "You idiot! Stay in my life all you want, listen to me all you want and love me for gods sake!" Mizuki started punching him in the chest with all their strength left, which was not a lot. "I... I want you to love me..." They mumbled.
Rui was quick to answer. "I do!"
Mizuki shook their head. "Let me say that again." They looked him straight in the eyes with determination "I want you to love me as much as I love you."
Rui wasn't sure who moved in first as their lips crashed together. Another kiss but this one was different, more confident. He smiled into the kiss and he felt Mizuki doing the same. The kiss was broken by both of them starting to laugh. They looked at eachother with goofy smiles.
"We're so hopeless" Mizuki chuckled.
"Yes and we skipped class" He added looking over and the clock above the entrance.
Mizuki rolled their eyes and slowly stood up "Nothing I'm not used to" they reached out their hand to help him up "Come on, I need to take your measurements"
He grabbed their hand and stood up, he didn't let go of it and Mizuki didn't seem to plan on pulling it away either.
As they were walking out of school Mizuki quietly spoke up.
"Thank you, Rui"
He didn't say anything but squeezed their hand a little harder.
That was enough.
***
Me:
I'm dating Mizuki
Nene 🎮:
k.
WAIT WHAT?