Chapter Text
It’s not as if I miss him… Eliza sighed to herself, as she sat in the carriage bound for Lady Harlowe’s estate in Yorkshire.
It had been exactly four seasons since she had last spoken to William. Twelve months, thirty two cases without him, six letters from him that she had not replied to, countless walks on her own to the pub she knew he never went to… and too many glasses of whiskey to convince herself that she was definitely and absolutely…
Not in love with him.
The snow had settled beautifully on the evergreens that were emerging as the landscape shifted from bustling London to the English countryside. Ruby red berries dotted the bushes, the scent of pine and nostalgia wafted through the cracks in the carriage window. It had been consistently gray this month, a moodiness had taken over the country and only heightened her own winter blues that she so stubbornly attributed to solely the weather. Of course.
This time of year was always hard, for obvious reasons. She missed her parents and it reminded her each year how lost she felt at times when she’d walk out of her office. Yes, she felt a great deal of purpose with her growing business, but something nipped at her fingertips, like a cold frost. Her heart wanted something, or rather, someone . But as was common with fiercely independent, obstinate young women, she refused to acknowledge that the fire in her heart was the consequence of a certain Scottish Inspector…
An hour later, she could make out the outline of Pemberley, Lady Harlowe’s country estate. It was a grand home, with a gleaming, frozen lake at its entrance. Lady Harlowe was a dear friend, and Eliza had visited her last summer at this estate, months before the last and terrible row with William.
I will not think of him. Tonight is for merriment and dancing, and… and…
Eliza rubbed her face in frustration. Who was she trying to fool? Only herself. There wasn’t a day she didn’t think of him, even the trees made her think of him, of his emerald eyes, which had never faded in her memory.
She smoothed her satin gold dress, picked out especially by Lady Harlowe and delivered to her London home. Eliza did not trust herself with fashion, and had requested her friend to pick out the dress that would match her dinner party theme. It sparked a little smile momentarily, as she thought of the ridiculously entertaining and hilarious dinner parties she had attended. Everyone looked forward to Lady Harlowe’s parties, it was impossible to leave without having one’s mind dazzled at the mystery performers or without a story to tell when one got home.
When the carriage stopped, the driver opened her door and held out a hand to help her down.
“Eliza, dear!” Lady Harlowe greeted her upon entrance, kissing her cheek. “You look marvelous!”
“Rose, you are stunning.” Eliza took in the hostess’ outfit for the night. Lady Harlowe was outfitted in a violet gown with silver, chiffon winged sleeves. Fit for a queen. Her gown swished elegantly as they moved through to the ballroom.
“I am so glad you made it. Now, I know you have not been feeling particularly merry this season, but I promise you… you won’t regret it.” There was a mischievous glint in her eye. If only Eliza knew…
~.~
“It’s bloody freezing…” William grunted to himself, as he stepped outside his carriage and eyed the frozen lake curiously.
He had surprised himself by accepting the dinner party invitation by Lady Harlowe, Fitzroy’s cousin. The holidays had never been his favorite time of year. In fact, he usually volunteered to work Christmas eve, preferring the solace and quiet of his office. It didn’t take a detective to notice that he had been brooding all year. This year had been rubbish, topped with a high level project that had left him far more spent than he had felt before. Munro had rewarded him with a week off and a holiday bonus, ordering him to go on holiday somewhere and recharge.
“Isn’t this marvelous, sir?!” Fitzroy chuckled gleefully, a little too gleeful.
William rubbed his temple and repeated a mantra in his head for patience for the young fellow. He meant well, and had become a true friend to him during this year full of deepening heartbreak. Four days on holiday at a grand estate in Yorkshire amongst a large party sounded initially like the last thing he would want. But something told him he should try something new, and maybe, just maybe, he would find happiness by the end of the year.
“Rose, you have outdone yourself again.” Fitzroy greeted his cousin warmly.
William smiled at Lady Harlowe. “Thank you for the invitation, Lady Harlowe. The place looks incredible.” He eyed the ornate gold trimming and the fountains of champagne in the background.
“I have a feeling you will enjoy the view far more than you expect.” She winked at him, then eyeing her cousin with a knowing look.
When a friend greeted William, the cousins plotted…
“Is she here?” Fitzroy whispered to his cousin.
“Yes, she just arrived.” She tilted her head over to the other side of the room, where Eliza was standing with other guests.
William recognized far more people than he expected… which was quite suspicious. There were some men and their partners from Scotland Yard. Although, the more he thought about it… why weren’t there any eligible women in the crowd?
The hostess of the night cleared her throat and tapped her chalice to get everyone’s attention. “My dear friends, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a good evening involves plenty of wine, loose morals… and good company.”
The crowd heartily agreed with a collective whoop! and raised their glasses to the hostess.
“I want to welcome you all to Pemberley, aptly named for my obvious love for Austen. As a hopeless romantic, I can only hope that you all believe in love because tonight’s dinner party theme is none other than the greatest love story written: Pride and Prejudice. Yes, we will revel and have a feast worthy of Elizabeth and Darcy, and by the end of the night… I promise you that all of your doubts about true love will be proven wonderfully wrong.” Lady Harlowe darted her eyes towards William for a quick second.
William arched his brow and his eyes darted to Fitzroy. “I thought you said this was a murder mystery dinner party?”
Fitzroy avoided his eyes and scratched his head, feigning confusion. “Oh, did I? Well… perhaps the murder mystery party was last week. I suppose I got the date wrong, my apologies…”
William chuckled. “It’s fine, as long as there’s no more surprises–” He turned to his right and there, like his Northern star while lost at sea, she stood brightly across the room.
Eliza Scarlet.
She was surrounded by other guests, talking merrily and clinking glasses with them. What was that he detected? The curve of her beautiful lips, her eyes crinkling at a joke someone made. He felt a heavy tug in his chest. She looked happy.
He smiled wistfully at her joy, she was even more beautiful than he had remembered.
“You… you didn’t tell me that Miss Scarlet would be here?” Suddenly, his heart beat rapidly and he felt the wave of panic develop underneath his collar.
Fitzroy’s eyes widened in the cover of innocence. “Well, that’s because I didn’t know she’d be here. See, she had initially mentioned that she’d be spending the holiday in London, but… perhaps something convinced her to come.”
William heard half of what he said, searching for a footman with a tray of champagne. He hated champagne, but right now, he needed to douse himself with the most available intoxication, and fast . The love of his life had just shown up, and he was not sure how to deal with this.
He snatched two glasses of champagne and downed them fast. The footman looked at him in wonder. William wiped his mouth. “What? Haven’t you ever shown up to a themed dinner party expecting a normal evening and suddenly the woman that broke your heart a year ago shows up unexpectedly looking like a goddess??”
The footman’s mouth opened and he gaped at him like a fish. “Um… no.”
William growled and searched for an alcove, staircase, anything to get away for a second.
Eventually, he found a balcony and he stood there alone for a second, taking a deep breath.
He was no stranger to disappointment or pain. He had lived an undeniably hard life. But nothing compared to the feeling of watching the woman he loved turning her back and walking out of the room after baring his soul for the first time. To be fair, he had said some rather stupid things that night… actually, the stupidest things he had ever said. A thousand times he had ran the argument over and over again in his head, and he could not understand what had compelled such stupidity.
Oh, right. Love .
He was in love with her.
With one last deep breath, he composed himself and resolved that he would greet Eliza with the utmost politeness and make sure it seemed he had put all of his feelings for her behind him.
He turned the corner and suddenly, he was met with the image of golden curls and the most delicate, red velvet ribbons.
She was admiring a large painting hung on the wall, contemplating it with such grace and silence. He held his breath, not sure if he should quietly sneak out the corner.
But she was a detective, and her instincts told her someone was watching her. She turned around and saw him standing across the way.
Her heart began to thump against her chest, surprise taking over her. He looked as charming and handsome as ever in his eveningwear. The instinct to run over to him and touch him was overwhelming. He was as shocked as she was, his eyes rounding and barely blinking. “William…” she said above a whisper.
He blinked at her.
“What are you doing here?” she blurted out.
“You look beautiful.” he blurted out.
She was not sure how much faster her heart could beat, he was admiring her in her dress. “Oh, thank you… But really, what are you doing here? A Pride and Prejudice themed dinner party is the last place I’d expect you.”
William cleared his throat. “Well, yes. That may seem the case… But some people change?” He looked at her thoughtfully.
Eliza studied his expression, trying to figure out his message. “Hmm… not that much, William.” She teased, and it was as natural as if they had never stopped speaking at all.
They heard the signal for dinner. As they searched for their names, they eventually ended up at the center of the table. Eliza looked over to her right and saw that it was William’s name that was conveniently placed right next to hers.
He arched his brow and looked at her, stroking his beard. “Of course…”
She smiled shyly. “Of course…”
He held out her chair and caught her scent of lilies and honeysuckle, igniting his entire body. He found that he had to steady himself with his hands on her chair for a second.
They both sat in silence for a short while, listening to the merriment around them. Eventually, William broke the silence. “I trust that Ivy and Mr. Potts are well?”
Eliza looked over at him. “Yes, they are quite well. Thank you for asking. She and Barnabus are visiting her family in Hackney.”
William shifted his attention towards her. “They seem to be enjoying their new home now, right down the road from yours. It’s a nice home, from what I recall the last time I was over for tea.”
She blinked up at him. “You… you saw Ivy and Barnabus for tea?”
“Erm, yes.” He caught the surprise in her eyes. “We keep in touch, every now and then.”
What Eliza didn’t know was that William and Ivy mostly discussed her, finding a sense of camaraderie through their own difficult transitions: her moving away from her only daughter figure and his heartbreak.
“Oh, I didn’t know… Ivy never mentioned she had tea with you.”
“Well, she wouldn’t. She knew better than to mention me, after our last argument.” His voice lowered at the mention of that fateful night. Lucky for Eliza, the hostess began to address the dinner party.
“Dear friends, tonight we have a Regency era dinner menu, complete with all of the fixings that Lady Catherine de Bourgh would approve. Keep a close eye out for clues for our end of evening extravaganza… I assure you it will be spectacular!” Lady Harlowe winked at the party, with plenty of guests trying to guess how the night would end.
The first course was white soup, a creamy and pleasant soup made with ham*. It was followed by haricot lamb, fish with wine and mushrooms, and vegetable pie.
Before the table cloths were cleared for dessert, Eliza turned to William.
“How is everything at Scotland Yard? How… how are you?” She looked at him for a second and then down at her glass. Buried deep within her heart was the question she asked herself every day. She figured that he most likely had moved on and filled his life with his familiar distractions. The first thing she noticed was that he had not shown up to the party with anyone, nor did he wear a ring on his left hand. Relief had settled into her stomach, and then the guilt of feeling such a way followed.
“I am well.” He lied, picking up his glass to hide behind. If you count the daily feeling of emptiness and drowning oneself in work for the sake of trying to forget as being well, then yes… “I heard about the Stratford case. That was a tough one, but you solved it. I knew you would.”
Her lips parted at his praise and the warm look in his eyes. Oh, how she missed these moments, the rare times he would congratulate her on a tough case. She always knew it meant something, as he wasn’t usually inclined to praise. “Thank you for that. It was definitely one of the most complex ones to date, but I have quite the team now, which helps.”
Dessert had been served and a bowl of sugar was being passed around to glaze their fruit. His hand brushed against hers and lingered for a moment, and she found she didn’t pull away as quick as she should. His touch was subtle yet it sparked a familiar fire in her soul and left her in a lovely flush.
~.~
After dinner, the party departed to a larger room for cigars and cards. But as Lady Harlowe was known for throwing out the rules– both men and women convened for such kind of vice.
The roars of laughter filled the room amongst the haze of smoke and fanning of cards. William looked over at Eliza across the room, the back of her head facing him while she conversed with friends. He was attempting to stay in conversation with a group of Fitzroy’s cousins, but his vision was now occupied by the sway of red velvet ribbons in the glow of the chandelier.
Eliza watched Lady Harlowe and a group of men play a round of poker, amused by how victorious she was in the company of men. Her attention wandered every now and then to the pair of broad shoulders in the corner of the room, his beard twitching as he chuckled at Fitzroy’s jokes. She bit her lip, realizing that being at this dinner party with him was proving to be harder than expected.
With her neck warm and her palms a bit sweaty, she snuck out for a bit of air.
She passed grand rooms and meandered down the hallway lost in thought. Does he think of me? Does he think of that last night as often as I do? Whatever you do, do not ask him… that would be a terrible mistake, Eliza. She sighed to herself. As she turned the corner, she found an alcove, a perfect place for solace.
But there was another tortured soul seeking respite from the constant thoughts of another. He was leaning against the wall when her footsteps approached.
“Oh…” Her eyes widened at the sight of him.
William cleared his throat and straightened himself. “Did it become a bit rowdy for you too in there?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
They paused, searching for the right thing to say. He was about to comment on the flurry of snow outside the window when she blurted out, “Did you know I was going to be here tonight?” Her heart beating rapidly in anticipation.
“No, I didn’t know you’d be here.” He said softly. “But I’m glad I came. I’m… happy to see you.”
Happy.
She shouldn’t be happy to hear that. Because every smile she gave him would be sending him hope, hope that they might begin again the courtship that had so easily crumbled a year ago. But the truth was, she was happy to see him too.
“I’m glad I came too.” She traced his smile that mirrored hers.
He stroked his beard and stepped an inch closer. “Are you, really? To be honest, if I had known you’d be here tonight, I would not have come. Since the last time we saw each other, you told me you never wanted to see me again.” There was a sadness in his eyes, as the flashback of her dimly lit drawing room and regretful words echoed in his ears.
“... Is that what I said?” Eliza looked down at her hands, the pain of that night filling her chest. How could she say such words? Perhaps it had been because all she could see was a future she feared and his stubborn inability to see things outside of his own vision. In truth, she had nearly forgotten what she had said, for the searing realization of their incompatibility that night left her a burning mess.
His voice made her return from her momentary flight. “Eliza, I don’t think I’d forget what you had said the night I… proposed to you.”
A proposal she had not accepted.
She winced at the last of his words. What should have been a beautiful memory was a wildfire of a scene that they had replayed in their minds a thousand times. Where did it go wrong? More importantly, where would they go from here, now that their heated bodies spoke words their lips could not, standing in the intimacy of the alcove.
“Oh…” was all she could say.
He wanted to tell her so many things, it could fill parchment the length of rooms. His regrets could write libraries, his mistakes could feed his own residing thoughts to last a lifetime. But apologies would not suffice, he wanted to show her he was a different man. A better man than the one who stood in her drawing room last December.
The sound of their uneven breathing filled the space, coiled hands refrained from each other’s skin despite the wanting. Both were conflicted of what to do, as they stared into the eyes of their beloved, yet their cautious hearts warned of an inevitable ruin.
Don’t do it, don’t do it. Eliza, whatever you do… do not ask him.
“Do you still think of me?” A small voice emerged. She couldn’t help it.
“Every day.” He confessed. There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in his voice. He looked at her lips, wanting to taste her, hold her.
Eliza’s hands reached for the lapels of his dinner jacket, even though she knew she shouldn’t. And William grasped her waist, feeling the sides of her shaking yet warm body. They were so close that the tips of their noses touched, each overtaken by the feel of each other after a year of separation.
He had to tell her. Now that he had her in his arms, he would not let her go again. “Eliza…”
Before he could even begin, her lips brushed against his in quiet longing, and his own responded with a long awaited kiss. Her hands steadied herself on his strong shoulders as she balanced on her tiptoes, and then he held her closer. So close she was nearly floating.
She suckled on his bottom lip, and he kissed her again and again, like he had been deprived of her for far too long. He touched her with tenderness, yet a fire grew underneath his fingertips. Twelve months without her. Yet, he felt he would give anything for just one night with her.
They paused, breathless and in shock at what had just happened. Their foreheads leaned on each other’s for a second, the rush of emotion coursing through their veins as if their kiss was the only thing that had brought them back to life after a year long winter. She rested her head on his shoulder for a second, clutching his neck, not wanting to let him go. His fingers held onto her satin dress, realizing he missed her far more than was possible.
Her eyes found his in the semi-darkness of the alcove. There wasn’t a place to hide anymore, they could feel each other’s hearts beating quickly with anticipation. An entire year of dreaming, wishing for each other had culminated in this secret affair within their little alcove. Abandoning all rational thought, they both answered each other’s craving.
Roving hands, rustling fabric. Impatient sighs emerged from deep within him, as his tongue tangled with hers. They were done with tender– they weren’t thinking, hardly breathing as their mouths consumed each other with desire. He picked her up just as she wished, and she demanded he place her on the seat of the window. Sweat trickled down their necks and the heat from their bodies grazing each other in desperation caused the snow lined window to fog up.
“William…” She sighed, his lips now latched onto her neck, and she bent her head back slightly for ample exposure.
He smiled into her bosom, which was glistening with sweat and heaving from her heavy exhales. He could listen to her pleasure all day if he could, and he relished in the thought that he was the culprit of such heated expression.
“Ohh … I’ve missed you…” He groaned into her breasts, her back pressed wonderfully against the glass of the window.
“I’ve missed you too–” she confessed, and then suddenly it was his thigh grazing her mound, testing out the territory. Much to her delight, he increased the pressure the more she moaned in satisfaction. Her hand slid under his jacket and grasped his firm bottom, bringing him closer as their bodies grinded against each other in the quiet darkness. Their loud sighs of satisfaction echoing against the stone walls.
She could feel him hard through his trousers, his length a source of curiosity for her. What was he doing to her? She was a burning mess, needing his body more than she had needed before. And he was sure of it– her touch, her warm skin was the only thing that could save him, yet the one thing that would surely ruin him. For after this, how could he go on if he could not have her forever?
A heat began to build in her core. He pressed up against her faster, harder. All she could taste was him, and all she could see was the look of determination in his eyes to make her feel unimaginable pleasure. She was close. She dug her nails into his jacket and tugged at his earlobe with her lips.
“Ohhh!! ” The mounting, physical need for him finally gave, and she cried his name out into his ear. He held onto her shuddering body as she came, loudly and fiercely.
He swore he meant to show her he was a better man. But perhaps that would happen after he had set her skin on fire.
~.~
P.S. I also happen to make Miss Scarlet and The Duke fan videos. Feel free to check them out!
YouTube Channel: Petals & Pages