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"Is that spaghetti?" Blaine asks, wincing as he shakes it off his hand.
"I sure hope so," Puck groans from beside him. "Because I don't want to think of the alternatives."
"Why would they do this? Who just throws people into dumpsters?" Blaine asks, gingerly standing up and wobbling unevenly on top of a bag.
"Yeah, real jerks," Puck says, refusing to meet his eyes. Blaine files that away for later, when he's not currently covered in what he really hopes is tomato sauce and standing on top of something that feels like a bag full of pudding.
"How do we get out of here?" he asks.
"What do you mean how do we get out of here?" Puck asks, flicking a piece of lettuce and someone's math test off of his shoulder. "Just jump out."
"But it's so high up," Blaine says, looking sadly up at the top of the dumpster. It's a good four feet above him.
"Oh right," Puck says. "I forget you're like Berry sized. Watch and learn." Puck jumps up, his hand scrambling against the wall of the dumpster at least a foot below the top.
"I'm watching," Blaine says, trying not to laugh.
"Whatever, shut up," Puck says. "This dumpster is way more empty than usual. At least I always had the courtesy to wait until it was mostly full to toss people-- a warning," Puck says, trailing off. "A warning not to get tossed in the dumpster."
"Sure," Blaine says, rolling his eyes. "Since you're the expert, how did people get out when you threw them in and they couldn't reach the top?"
"Um..." Puck says, patting at his back pocket and grabbing his phone. "Got it! Don't worry about it, Lauren's a total badass, she could probably pick us both up out of here with one hand."
Blaine sighs, relieved, because Puck's totally right. He saw Lauren give a drunken Finn a piggy back ride once. She'll totally rescue them.
"Uhhh," Puck says, pressing a button on his phone just in time for Blaine to hear Lauren's outgoing message.
"This is Zizes. Don't leave a message, I don't have time for your bullshit."
"I think she's at wrestling practice," Puck says sadly. "Or else she's still pissed that I wouldn't wear that lady underwear she bought me."
"What?" Blaine asks, not sure he wants to know.
"What?" Puck answers back, his eyes wide like he just realized what he said.
"...yeah, okay," Blaine sighs, reaching for his own phone. "I'll call Kurt. But fair warning, he'll probably make us walk home. Once he wouldn't let me get in his car after I played with a dog at the park, and that was just hair."
"Fair enough," Puck says, picking up an unopened bag of Doritos and looking at it, considering.
"Hello darling," Kurt says when he picks up.
"Kurt," Blaine says. "We're trapped in the dumpster and we can't get out."
"Who's we?" Kurt asks.
"Me and Puck," Blaine says, wincing when Puck opens the bag and happily crunches down on a chip. "You have to hurry. I think he's gone feral."