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"Oh come on, are you serious?" Santana snaps after the third time the operator tells them it will be "just another minute" through a bullhorn.
"Stop being so impatient," Kurt says, staring down at his phone. "He said it will just be another minute."
"And everyone knows you can't trust a carnie, god," Santana says. "Didn't your dad teach you any life skills?"
"I must have zoned out when he covered the relative trustworthiness of carnival folk," Kurt says, sighing and finally looking up from his stupid phone. "Why are you freaking out? I thought you said you weren't afraid of heights."
"I'm not," Santana snaps. She is. Just a little bit, though. Going on the stupid ferris wheel wasn't scary, but being stuck at the very top in a wobbly ass car with Kurt of all people was. "How did we even end up here?" she asks.
"I don't trust Blaine on tall rides where you're not strapped in and Brittany was afraid of going into a cloud and never coming out," Kurt says matter of factly. "Even though we're nowhere near that high up. And also it's night time."
"That was a rhetorical question," Santana says, crossing her arms.
"Oh my god," Kurt says, pocketing his phone and turning to face her. "You really are scared."
"I am not scared," Santana grits out. "But if you don't stay the fuck still so this rusty death trap stops swaying every which way I will kill you. No, actually, I'll do better than that. I'll sleep with your boyfriend."
"He's gay," Kurt says, still smiling entirely too wide. "And also you're gay."
"Doesn't mean I couldn't make it happen," Santana hisses. "After all, he kissed Rachel. Clearly he has no standards."
"Um, hello," Kurt says, motioning to himself.
"That's debatable," Santana says, and she's getting ready to launch into a diatribe about his elf ears that she has been saving up for years now when the ferris wheel gives a hard lurch that throws them backwards and she yelps and grabs at his arm.
"Hey, whoa there, okay," Kurt says, trying to loosen her fingers from his arm. "I think you're drawing blood."
"Good," Santana says, squeezing her eyes shut as the ferris wheel lurches again and they start moving forward this time.
"Santana," Kurt says softly, patting her arm. "Look, it's okay. We're moving now, we'll be off in no time."
"Excellent," she says, slitting her eyes open to make sure he's telling the truth. "Excellent," she repeats, casually pulling her hand back and flipping her hair over her shoulder as their car shudders to a stop and the stupid lying carnie who lies opens it for them.
"How was it?" Brittany asks, bouncing up to them as they exist the ride. "Did you taste the clouds? Did they taste like cotton candy?"
"No clouds," Santana says, linking her arm with Brittany's and trying to ignore the wobble in her knees. "But come on, we'll go get you some cotton candy and I'll tell you all about how Kurt cried like a tiny little girl when we were stuck at the top."
"Hey," Kurt snaps from somewhere behind her. "That is not what--"
"Let it go," she hears Blaine say quietly. "Just let it go."
"Don't worry, Kurt," Brittany says, turning around to walk backwards and smile at him reassuringly. "Santana wouldn't have let anything happen to you. She's a total badass."
"Damn right," Santana says, kissing Brittany's cheek and guiding her to the side so she doesn't trip over the cables running across the ground.