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It had never been this bad. Niall hadn’t really been happy for a long time but he’d never been so down before. Never really considered taking his own life before. But there he was, a bottle of sleeping pills in one hand and a razor blade lying in the floor next to him. It wouldn’t take much. He’d already sliced into his arms pretty bad but it just wasn’t enough this time. He needed to just be numb. He wanted everything to just stop. The hate from the fans, the pity from the other boys, the nervous glances from Paul. He was done so done. It’s not like anyone would miss him. He was the spare, the member they didn’t really need. He didn’t even sound as good as the other boys. It still just seemed like a cruel joke three years later. He’d never get over the feeling of being left out. Louis had Harry and Liam had Zayn. No one needed him especially not Zayn. Zayn with his pretty eyes and his shaggy hair and his tattoos that somehow made him look even more beautiful. Not that it really mattered because Zayn would never want someone so worthless and ugly. Nobody would. Nobody would ever want Niall.
He slid down the bathroom wall, his legs shaking too much to hold his weight anymore. He shook the pill bottle wondering how many he would need to take. He unscrewed the cap and dumped some in his hand hoping that it would be enough before he managed to swallow them all, tears still streaming down his face before everything went hazy.
He woke up to Louis freaking out trying to wake him up. Life just wasn’t fair. At some point before he passed out he managed to puke up most of the pills and could still taste vomit it his mouth. Luckily he puked in the toilet and not all over himself because this situation was bad enough as it was.
Louis was somewhere between pissed, worried, and in shock. Niall just hoped that he wasn’t mad enough to hit him. He was surprised when Louis just heaved a sigh of relief pulling Niall into his lap and cradling him like a small child, rocking him back and forth. Niall was still freaking out about being alive. All he could think was that he was so stupid that he couldn’t even manage to kill himself properly. He had to fuck up and then cry like a little baby. Eventually Louis managed to calm him down enough to lead him to his bed and tuck him into it. “I’m gonna be right back, ok Ni?” Louis was being a lot quieter than he needed to be.
About ten minuets later Niall heard the front door slam shut and heard someone walking down the hallway towards his door. He didn’t move, didn’t even open his eyes until he felt someone else crawling on to the bed with him. He could smell cigarettes and knew that as soon as he opened his eyes he’d see Zayn. As soon as he opened his eyes though, Zayn was pulling him into his chest. “Why?” It took a few minuets for the word to come out.
“I’m sick of being the extra puzzle piece nobody needs”