Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

It had been quite a shock to Jisung, being invited over by Minho to their territory in order to celebrate Changbin’s birthmonth. The request had been very out of left field, especially after Chan had already extended a similar invitation.
This with the knowledge that Felix had shared that their pack enjoyed spending their full moons alone and only with each other. It had been an open invitation but Jisung never would have guessed that, instead, it would have been flipped around to this.
Not that he minded the idea. Spending a full moon with Minho sounded wonderful to him either way, despite the fact that it seemed that he always managed to get yelled at for something or another, he was looking forward to it. Because the alpha had grown accustomed to Minho’s defiant nature, if anything… he kind of liked it. Revelled in it, truly.

Mainly because it gave him an excuse to clap back too, which usually was not his way of handling things. But Minho could take it and always argued back, rarely backing down unless Jisung was so right that even the omega was unable to counter what he had said.
Minho was tough and it was refreshing for the alpha to be treated, almost, like an equal instead of someone too soft and too fragile to be considered an alpha. Like he had grown up hearing all his life. So Jisung didn’t mind being the person the omega chose to let his tensions out on. Like a ball of clay being moulded and squished to Minho’s liking in every way shape and form he wanted. It was nice.
And it was even nicer to see, more often than not, that Minho would be more relaxed after an argument. Like a load had been lifted after accidentally spilling his heart out to the alpha.

Jisung had picked up on, barely noticeable but still there, the subtle little changes in the man as weeks flew by. Ever since the day they had gone fishing and Minho had all but buried him 6 feet under with his glare after, admittedly, Jisung had said something beyond stupid, Minho had been pacing himself.
Like he had never meant to say what he said and was being careful to not let anything else slip. Like he was desperately scrambling to patch up the cracks that had formed in the wall he had so carefully built around himself.
But Jisung had heard it, loud and clear, the words that had come out of the omega’s mouth. And they continued to ring through him like someone had etched them into his very core with a smouldering knife.

‘I didn’t ask for this life’

The way the words had been spoken had sent all the hairs on Jisung’s neck to stand on end. The venom dripping out of Minho’s voice had done absolutely nothing for the earth shattering heartbreak nestled deep inside of his hypnotizing eyes.
And Jisung had to channel every spirit in the galaxy to keep himself from pulling the omega into his arms in that very moment. To apologise for speaking out of term and to apologise for all the wrongs the elder had suffered at the hands of these alphas he had come across in his life, to try and make him see that there were people out there like Chan, Changbin and himself.
But he probably would have lost his life if the thought of doing so had simply been reflected in his eyes, let alone carried out.

So instead, that same night after Minho and his pack had returned home, he had told Chan and the rest about the conversation. It was a lot more information than any of them had ever received regarding the omega and, just like with Changbin’s confession on his brother almost killing Felix, it allowed their understanding of the omega to deepen more and more. Every piece of knowledge feeling like a hook trying to yank their conscience to shreds.
It was unnerving.
What more, it was quite interesting to see how every single one of them had started to grow a soft spot, including Chan, for the omega. Wanting nothing more than to make sure that Minho and his pack at the very least felt safe around them.

And perhaps, sanguinely, something had already done some semblance of that job. Because about a week before the next full moon, Minho had brought up the situation around Changbin’s birth month celebration and had, very uncharacteristically, opened his own home to them. Offering for them to celebrate it in their territory instead of Chan’s because of Felix’s wishes.
Despite them always spending their full moons preferably alone.
Because, just like Hyunjin had so vehemently insisted, Minho proved that he would indeed do everything for his brother. He’d probably freeze the sun if he’d have to. And Jisung couldn’t help but feel slightly envious of it because he could only dream of his siblings ever treating him with even a fraction of that same type of affection.

Felix was lucky, he had realized. So, so very lucky.

“That bird is already dead, Jisung. Strangling it isn’t going to speed up the process” Minho’s voice cut through Jisung’s thoughts like a heated knife cutting through lard, his head snapping up from where he was spaced out looking at one of the pheasants, Chan and Changbin had caught earlier this morning. One of his hands around the bird’s neck and the other clenched around a bunch of feathers.
“What are you thinking about?” The omega asked next, his voice surprisingly soft despite the slight sarcastic edge to it as he continued to pluck his own bird.

“How nice your hair looks” Jisung impromptu replied softly, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips when he saw the tips of the omega’s ears change colour ever so lightly. A small little detail Jisung had picked up on and enjoyed pulling out of the elder because it was beyond cute how Minho would visibly fight the embarrassment that would wash over him when flustered. Though, he would naturally clap back with words that would strike deeper than arrows. And today had been no exception to that.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to lie?” Minho deadpanned, his gaze unimpressed as he stared Jisung down, the younger fighting a flinch at the words “You weren’t even looking anywhere near my direction”
Jisung’s jaw clenched briefly before he exhaled silently and found the corner of his lip tugging up into a mournful smile, his eyes and focus trained on the pheasant in his hands.
“My mother only ever taught me how much of a failure I am. So no, not really” he shrugged as he continued to pluck feathers, his hand gripping the animal’s neck like a vice as he felt Minho’s eyes on him while he worked.

He didn’t blame Minho, nor was he angry at him, for saying what he had said. Minho didn’t know anything about Jisung, something the alpha loved to remind him of every time the omega gave him that exact same argument. They didn’t know anything about each other, not really at least. Not yet.
So he wasn’t mad, or upset. The memory of his life was upsetting but that was not something he could hold the omega responsible for, and he didn’t mind sharing things if Minho would set his own pride aside and just asked.
Mainly because Jisung was desperate for those ice blue eyes to look at him with something else but distrust and contempt.

Though, if Jisung had just looked up at that moment, he would have seen that the omega was, in fact, looking at him without a single trace of contempt.
But he didn’t. And the ice blue eyes glazed over with indifference within the span of seconds once again.

As Minho continued to stare at him, Jisung could feel there were words there, hanging silently between them like they were suspended midair by invisible string. So charged and strung that if he would have tried to run his fingers through them, he’d been able to.
Though he had not anticipated the words to be pulled out of the air and spoken into existence, much less by the omega and definitely not what they eventually turned out to be.

“I’m sorry…” the omega spoke up softly, both the words and the tone catching Jisung off guard as he finally glanced up at him “I didn’t… uhm”
The earlier sarcasm had completely made way for something akin to awkward remorse and it sent a chill down the alpha’s spine. There was a brief, miniscule moment in which Minho’s eyes seemed soft, making him look so young that it almost gave the alpha whiplash.
Jisung hadn’t meant to make Minho pity him. His parent’s being absolute crap to him was hardly news. Or at least, that’s what he’d hinted at when Minho had been going on and on about what alphas were ‘supposed to be like’ right before the omega fainted and scared the living crap out of every single one of them.
Though as expected, Minho had not picked up on said hint.

“Don’t be” Jisung smiled softly, reassuringly “It’s not your fault she was a stellar parent. You couldn’t have known”
Minho continued to look at him for a few silent seconds, expression unreadable now as it almost looked like he was trying to swallow down the words on his tongue. And eventually he opted to slowly focus back down on his pheasant.
“And also” Jisung continued softly “I wasn’t lying. Your hair really does look nice today”
Minho eyes snapped back up at him again, the defiance back in his gaze as he scowled at Jisung.
“Don’t bite my head off” Jisung mused defensively as he eyed the elder carefully “It’s just a compliment, I don’t mean anything by it. I just think it’s nice. I mean… It’s always nice but for some reason it looks different today? Maybe it’s the sun, or maybe you did something with it, I don’t know. You really look quite radiant--”

“Jisung” Minho snapped gently, cutting Jisung off mid sentence and effectively shutting him up. He hadn’t even realized he had been nervously rambling on about the elder’s hair and felt his blood rush to his head, his face heating up as he held Minho’s gaze for a few silent seconds.
“Thank you…” Minho eventually said, the scowl no longer on his face before turning his eyes back to his pheasant “For the compliment. But there’s no need for you to stumble all over yourself trying to make a point”
“Sorry…” Jisung said softly, his face feeling like the sun, which had been hiding behind the clouds all day, had come out to scorch him “You make me nervous”
“Good” Minho answered quickly, dumping his plucked pheasant in the tub of salt water before moving on to the next.

Silence fell between them again. The type of comfortable silence that had taken root and grown between them every single time they had been paired together for tasks in the past couple of months, the one in which Jisung would find himself drowning in soft white rose as he absentmindedly continued to work while he occasionally stole glances at the omega without being reprimanded.
He knew Minho could feel his gaze, but the elder’s expression never gave way to the obvious realisation that he was sometimes being stared at. Except for the soft dust of pink that would sometimes creep up his neck and ears so very cutely and very out of his control.

And looking at Minho trying to control the colour on his skin like this sometimes almost made Jisung’s fluttering heart foolishly believe that the omega actually liked being looked at, so carefully and so fondly, but would rather be flayed open by a ragged knife than to ever admit to it.
Especially in front of an alpha.

“Jisung” Minho asked after a couple of minutes, his eyes never leaving the work in his hands as Jisung’s eyes snapped up into the omega’s direction at the mention of his name.
“Yes?” he asked, his heart rate speeding up as he eyed the elder warily.
“For what it’s worth…” Minho continued softly, his tone of voice tense as if he was internally fighting himself on whether to speak at all before he paused his movements and clenched his hand around the pheasant’s feathers ever so lightly. A movement Jisung would have missed if he hadn’t been watching the omega intently, anticipating whatever it was he seemed to be struggling to say.

“For what it’s worth” Minho reiterated, the soft crease between his eyebrows smoothing out and eyes softening minutely as he continued to look down at the bird in his hands “I don’t think you’re a failure…”
Jisung blinked, his hands halting and mouth pressing into a thin line as he continued to watch Minho who still refused to meet his gaze. His mind had become static, like the contents of his skull had been replaced with a hive of bees, the blood rushing through his veins and ears adding to the sensation as he fought to keep his heart rate steady.
There was no way he heard that correctly, no way those words had come out of Minho’s mouth. Minho, who wouldn’t hesitate to burn Jisung down with insults every chance he got. Minho, who would probably rather spoon his own eyes out than ever compliment an alpha.

“I don’t know why your mother would say what she said. And I’m not asking either” Minho continued after a few beats of silence in which Jisung failed to say anything in response, the small crease finding its way back between his eyebrows and eyes still stubbornly trained on the pheasant “But you’re not. If anything, I’ve seen at least that much in the short time I have known you…”
Jisung stared. Gobsmacked, in awe, in shock, in disbelief. Name it. He just stared as Minho continued to work, seemingly unbothered by the lack of response from the alpha. His nose burning as he swallowed the unexpected lump that had settled in his throat before collecting the pieces of himself that were suddenly slipping like sand through his fingers and letting out a dismissive and airy chuckle.

“I know” he shrugged lightly as he turned his attention back to his own hands, painfully aware of the heat at the tips of his ears and the low tremor in his fingers “The hyungs… they’ve been reminding me of that ever since they found me”
At that, he finally noticed the omega look up, the scorching gaze landing on him almost instantly and making his skin feel like someone had lit it on fire.
“Found you?” Minho asked and Jisung looked up to meet the elder’s eyes, his breath hitching at the onslaught of beauty in the innocence that was reflected in the somewhat hidden curiosity Minho’s ice blue orbs were fixing him with. Like he was trying not to pry, trying not to show that he actually wanted to know more and was trying to keep his face neutral. And failing without being aware of it.

But Minho seemed to have mistaken Jisung’s stunned silence for dismissal, because he quickly shook his head as the carefully crafted veil of indifference fell back over his face before he looked back down to the bird in his hands.
“Sorry, you don’t have to answer that. It’s none of my business anyway” He said sharply. But the sharpness seemed to have been directed more at himself rather than at Jisung and the younger blinked again, exhaling a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding before conjuring up a small smile onto his face.
“I don’t mind” He said gently “I just…”
“Honestly” Minho looked up at him again, his gaze steady asif he was trying to reassure Jisung that he really didn’t need to know. But Jisung didn’t want to be reassured, he was beyond ecstatic that the omega had, even just briefly, seemed interested in something the alpha was saying “There is no need--”

“My parents kicked me out when I was 16” Jisung blurted out, cutting the omega off mid sentence and eliciting a surprised blink from the elder at the sudden interruption “And my clan shunned me when they did…”
The alpha swallowed nervously, one of his hands coming up to scratch at the back of his neck and instantly wincing at the feeling of feather and blood residue on his fingers before looking up at meeting the omega’s eyes again with a small shrug.
“I wasn’t… a typical wolf, growing up” he continued softly, dumping the plucked pheasant in his hand into the bucket of water with the others before folding his hands in his lap.

“I was what they call a late bloomer” Jisung averted his eyes uncomfortably as he emphasized the words “Usually, as I am sure you are aware of, we start shifting at the age of 4 and then we develop our scents between the ages of 14 and 15… For me it didn’t go quite like that for some reason”
Jisung nodded slowly as he talked, the movement more self soothing than anything else as he tried to remind himself that there was absolutely nothing wrong with being a late bloomer, just as Chan and the rest had tried to ingrain in him so lovingly the past couple of years.
But even then, even after all this time and all the love and acceptance he had found within his small pack of four, the mental scars of being told otherwise for the bigger part of his life remained scorching and hot to the touch…

…and the physical ones on his body simply a visual reminder of being born an abomination.

“According to what I understood from my… my grandmother, it was because I was born too early…” Jisung continued softly, his chest constricting at the thought of her “or at least. That’s what she believed”
“A premature pup…” Minho mouthed silently and Jisung nodded.
“Yeah, something like that I guess” the alpha shrugged “And growing up, I was always the smallest and weakest amongst my siblings… or rather, amongst the pups in my entire clan to be honest”
He inhaled deeply, averting his eyes from Minho's face in favour of looking toward the garden next to the omega's cottage where Chan and Jeongin were busying themselves with the summer harvest before letting go of said breath slowly.

“I only first shifted when I was 7…” He said softly, noticing the slightest, barely there, flinch of Minho in the corner of his eye, the omega's eyes boring into the side of Jisung's head as he spoke. And he was too scared to look back and meet the elder’s gaze.
Although he didn’t believe that Minho would be one to judge or draw horrible conclusions when it came to this topic, he was too aware of the omega’s hatred for alphas for him to be scared enough to look over and find disgust or disappointment levelled into his direction.
The same type his parents used to look at him with.
So he kept his eyes on Jeongin’s smile as the young omega tossed a twig into Chan’s direction who ducked out of the way with a goofy grin plastered on his face.

“My parents and clan were very… traditional?” Jisung tilted his head lightly, not really knowing if he could even call the toxic behaviours of his clan traditional at all “Their values were twisted and anything that didn’t fit their image of ‘ideal’ wasn’t worth their time of day… Which was ironic because they spent a lot of time trying to mould me into that image of theirs even when it was very clear that I would never be like that… that I never wanted to be like that”
He absentmindedly ran his thumb over his own knuckles where his hands were resting in his lap. The topic wasn’t an easy one for him to talk about, it always made him sad and miss his grandmother who had been the only person in his clan who had ever treated him normally.
She was the reason he knew what love was supposed to be like, the reason he was able to recognize it in Chan, Changbin and Hyunjin when he eventually met them. She had been his saving grace when he was a child, but he had also been very old.

“They wanted me to be an alpha . The type of alpha you always go on about, the type my father is. My siblings are. Ruthless, strong, dangerous and fearless” Jisung continued after inhaling deeply and steadying his heartbeat “But I wasn’t… I was too soft. Too kind. Too everything other than what they believed an alpha should be. And when I eventually shifted and it turned out that even my wolf was smaller than everybody else’s around me… well. He didn’t like that”
He let out an empty scoff, his jaw tensing as his father’s looming figure flashed through his mind’s eye while he tried to suppress a shudder that threatened to run under his skin. The scars on his back stinging at the memory.
Almost instantly an unprecedented amount of soft, warm and soothing white roose suddenly enveloped him like a fur pelt that had been made just to fit him perfectly, the shudder making way for a wave of momentary reprieve.

And when he finally tilted his head back into Minho’s direction, meeting the elder’s gaze, he was met with something he had not been expecting at all.
There was still a frown on Minho’s face, confusion and wary written all over it, and it almost seemed like the soothing pheromones had been released almost accidentally and instinctively. But the way Jisung noticed a twinkle of something akin to sympathy hovering below the surface of the omega’s eyes, almost made him believe that maybe it hadn’t been accidentally at all.
Minho had noticed how uncomfortable Jisung had become and had tried to ease his heart…

He blinked while the warmth of the white rose continued to spread in his chest like wildfire as he eyed the omega carefully, his words caught in his throat and brain slightly turning fuzzy as the seconds passed them in silence.
Minho smelled so uncharacteristically safe in that moment that it almost gave Jisung whiplash with how the omega’s face, eyes and scent were at such odds with each other.
“Why are you telling me this?” Minho asked warily, his tone of voice a lot softer than he had probably meant to as he quickly straightened himself up and cleared his throat “It is obvious that this topic upsets you and that you don’t like talking about it”

“You’re right, it does” Jisung quickly answered, his eyes never leaving Minho’s “And I don’t because the memories of my childhood are not the most pleasant ones…”
“Then why?” Minho countered, the crease between his brows deepening as he searched Jisung’s face “I specifically told you that you don’t have to answer any of my questions. I always tell you all to mind your own business, you could have just told me the same thing”
“I would never do that” Jisung breathed softly, the hurt from Minho assuming that he would do such a thing reflected in his eyes. And the omega’s face faltered for the briefest of seconds. Something the alpha would have missed hadn’t he been almost drowning in those eyes that were still looking at him with carefully veiled sympathy.

“Why?” Minho asked softly, his face schooled back into neutrality.
“Because I want to tell you, hyung” Jisung answered honestly without skipping a beat, again taking the omega by surprise.
“But why?” Minho urged again, slowly growing agitated with Jisung’s answers “I don’t understand why you would want to tell me something so personal”
“Because it’s not just about me” Jisung said with a soft smile “It’s about Chan hyung…”
“How is this about Chan?” Minho frowned again, his eyes quickly darting over to the garden as well before looking back at Jisung.
“Because I want you to understand and see that the alphas that wronged me for basically my whole entire life, are not the same ones that eventually saved it” Jisung said softly, his heart pouring into every word as he watched Minho’s face melt into something unreadable.

The omega stared at him for a couple of seconds, the silence between them palpable as Jisung held the elder’s gaze steadily before letting out a long exhale.
“My father was ruthless” Jisung continued after a while, realizing Minho wasn’t going to continue to interrupt him and gave him a small reassuring smile “He hated me. They all did, honestly. My parents thought that I was an abomination for being so small and so weak. For being such a fake alpha. Not able to keep up with my siblings, who were good at everything while I just got my ass handed to me every single time we were forced to spar for training…”

Jisung worried the corner of his bottom lip with his fang as he looked down at his hands that were still in his lap before running one of them through his scarlet hair tiredly and looking back up.
“Eventually, when I was 16 going on 17 and my scent still hadn't developed… they decided that they had enough. They labeled me a lost cause and kicked me out of my own home. Though, from the moment my grandmother passed away… that place stopped being my home and started being my personal hell instead. Being on my own was welcomed at that time”
He smiled ruefully before turning his head to face Chan in the garden again, the smile turning genuine and soft as he watched his alpha playfully scold Jeongin for something or another.

“But I was a pup, in all logistic senses of the word. I was a scentless alpha who had nothing and nobody. And that eventually caught up with me and honestly… I wanted out…” Jisung admitted softly, voice barely above a whisper “I was tired and hurt, scared and most of all just lonely and I wanted out. I wanted to be with my grandmother again and if it hadn’t been for Changbin finding me… I probably would have been”
He heard Minho inhale sharply, barely audible but Jisung couldn’t have missed it even if he tried. And he let out a soft sigh, his head bobbing in a slow nod.
“Bin hyung took me home with him, back to Chan and Hyunjin” he said softly as he turned back to look at Minho with a crooked smile “and at first I was confused as to why these burly, intimidating alphas wanted me, a scentless, useless dead weight pup, in their pack”

Minho continued to look at him silently, the pheasants in the water between them completely forgotten amidst the conversation.
“But then they started spending their days trying to make me feel safe. Safe, seen and wanted. Rearranging every single thing my parents had ingrained in me to try and make me see how wrong they had been” Jisung smiled fondly, his eyes finding Chan again across the clearing “Being with them made me see what a real alpha was supposed to be like. Kind, loving and generous. A protector of all, and one who doesn’t see another as lesser than ”
Jisung breathed in steadily, his heart feeling a lot lighter after sharing this part of him with Minho before exhaling contently and looking back to meet Minho’s gaze again.

“So that’s what I meant with found me ” Jisung said with a goofy grin “Because they did, find me. They saved me. Ironically, this was very shortly before we moved into this area”
At that Minho blinked, his eyebrows creasing together again as he straightened up on the log he was sitting on. And Jisung could see the numbers turning in his head as the elder tried to do the math, a soft smile on the alpha’s face as he silently watched the omega shift through his thoughts.
“Wait…” Minho said softly after a few seconds “You… But you have a scent now… how… how old were you when you got it?”
“Just when I turned 19… so next month that would make about 2 years ago” Jisung admitted softly and Minho stilled.

“So you were still a pup when I ran into Chan that day…?” the omega breathed and Jisung could have sworn that he saw a glint of regret flashing through his eyes and felt his heart drop.
“Yeah” He nodded softly “Just like Innie… but older”
Minho’s face went impossibly pale and for a moment, Jisung feared that he was going to throw up. But the omega very quickly regained his composure, his lips pressing into a thin line and nostrils flaring as he inhaled steadily and visibly swallowed through the turmoil that the information had brought him.

“I’m sorry that your parent’s did that to you… pushed you so far for you to…” Minho said eventually after the silence had stretched out between them again struggling through the words and taking Jisung, yet again, by surprise with how genuine he sounded despite the stoic expression on his face.
“It’s okay” Jisung smiled reassuringly and Minho huffed lightly, the crease finding its way between his eyebrows again as he eyed the alpha defiantly.
“No, it’s not” He countered “Nobody deserves such treatment from the people who are supposed to love them. Alpha or not… you did not deserve that. Not from your family”

Jisung contemplated Minho’s words for a bit, his lips pursed out tentatively as he mulled them over in his head.
“They are not my family” He eventually landed on with a slow nod “They never were. From the moment they started treating me like that simply for being born, they stopped being my family. But even then, I wouldn’t change what happened to me for the world”
“How could you say that?” Minho breathed softly, the confusion thick in his voice as he searched Jisung’s eyes who held his gaze for a while before darting his eyes back to where Chan was in the garden with a soft sigh.

“Because if it hadn’t been for them treating me like that…” Jisung said after a few seconds, his eyes fond as he watched a hand full of dirt be propelled into his pack leader’s face “…I never would have met my real family”
He turned back to look at Minho with a soft smile, his chest and skin still warmed by the calming white rose that surrounded him.
“And never would have met you”
He watched as Minho’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second, the miniscule slip quickly schooled back into neutrality before tilting his head back down to start plucking another pheasant. And Jisung had to bite down the coo that threatened to bubble up his throat at the sight of the elder’s neck and ears again dusting a blotchy soft shade of red.

He let out an amused little huff, feeling his own heart beating a little too fast for his own liking as he pulled the bucket of plucked pheasants towards him with a low grunt and started cleaning their skin.
The silence that fell between them again, was as comfortable as it had been when they had started the task of preparing this portion of their dinner. And as they worked, Jisung just allowed himself to revel in the soft white rose that was still circling him, his own sandalwood mixing into it and making the area around them smell like a late and cosy evening in early summer.

Something Jisung could get lost in forever if he'd be allowed to.

“For what it’s worth…” Minho murmured under his breath “I think you have a very nice scent”
But due to the silence that had settled between them, he could have just as well screamed it from the rooftops, his voice loud and clear in Jisung’s ears who looked up to find the omega still focused on his pheasant.
Minho took a few seconds to look up and meet the alpha’s stunned gaze, Jisung’s breath catching in his throat again as the ice blue eyes landed on him. And there was a glint of something- mischievous and almost playful, swimming around in them as he eyed the alpha for a prolonged beat.

“For a late bloomer” Minho added, turning his attention back down to his pheasant immediately and Jisung stilled, his heart beating so fast that it felt like it was about to be propelled into space. His face flushed scalding hot and he swallowed thickly, his throat feeling like the desert as he watched the omega work in disbelief.
There was a ghost of a smirk playing on the corner of Minho’s lips and Jisung felt a fuse in his brain snap, exploding into a million pieces and coating every inch of his skin with tingles and flutters as his heart all but lurched forward like Minho had personally pulled on it. And he had to fight not to let out a small whine just to have Minho look back up at him. To have Minho turn that amused and smug little smile into his direction. 

To have him make the joke again, just so Jisung could catalogue it into his brain for safekeeping for all of eternity.

--

“Hyung made fun of me the other day” Jisung smiled softly from where he lay pressed back against Hyunjin’s chest in the bathtub, the water sloshing around lazily as he moved his hand over the surface.
“Who? Bin hyung?” the beta asked as he continued to massage his soap lathered fingers over the younger’s scalp “Want me to kick his ass?”
“No not him” Jisung let out an amused huff.
“Who Chan?” Hyunjin asked next, his voice slightly pitching and Chan shot him an unimpressed glare from where he approached with the fresh pint of water.
“I have made fun of exactly nobody, thank you so very much for the whopping vote of confidence” the alpha countered as he carefully dumped the contents of the pint into the tub, watching how Jisung shivered lightly and relaxed into the refreshing coolness of it.

“No, not Chan hyung either” Jisung huffed out “Minho hyung…”
Chan could see the tips of the young alpha’s ears slowly turn a shade of bright red as Hyunjin halted his ministrations, a blank look on his face as he blinked at the back of Jisung’s head.
“Sorry. You’re on your own with that one” he shrugged eventually, continuing his gentle massage “Bin and Chan hyung I could take. Minho? I’d rather go dancing with snakes”
“Rude” Chan scowled and Hyunjin stuck out his tongue at him, eliciting a fond eye roll from the elder before turning his attention back on Jisung. He squatted next to the tub and eyed the young alpha carefully.

“What do you mean he made fun of you, squirrel?” he asked, wondering what this was about. Jisung didn’t seem upset, nor did he smell upset. If anything his scent was so happy that it was almost turning Chan’s brain to mush “What did he say?”
“That I have a nice scent” Jisung looked up to meet Chan’s scrutinizing gaze, a soft smile on his face “for a late bloomer”
“Oh my god” Hyunjin gasped, the horror on his face dripping along with the small droplets of water running down from his blonde hair “He said that?”
“Why the hell would he say that?” Chan frowned. But he frown quickly made way for confusion as he once again took in the young alpha in front of him.

The redness still on the tips of his ears now spreading across his face despite the cold water, the soft giddiness to his sandalwood scent, the happy little glint in his eyes.
“Minho made fun of you and you’re happy about it?” Chan felt an amused smirk tug at the corner of his mouth.
“Wait what?” Hyunjin asked as he leaned to the side in order to look at Jisung’s face, his hands dropping to the younger’s shoulders and spinning him around a bit so he could see him better.
“It was a joke” Jisung blushed furiously. “It was really cute. I think… I think he was trying to make me feel better”

“You’re such a weirdo…” Hyunjin smiled fondly, trying to keep his love for their youngest alpha from dripping off of his face before the smile morphed into confusion and he blinked a couple of times “Wait. You told him about… you told him?”
Chan’s eyes flitted from the beta to Jisung, the words the younger had spoken suddenly catching up with him as he tilted his head and frowned as well. Jisung never talked about his past as the memories of it were still fresh and always pained him. For him to have breached the subject, with Minho of all people, was beyond unexpected.
But then, he had also said something else.
“He tried to make you feel better?” Chan asked softly, his hand coming up to cup the young alpha’s cheek.

Jisung nodded slowly, his fang worrying the corner of his lips before he shrugged lightly.
“We were talking and it kind of came up” he answered “and then he was pretty chill about it and… yeah. I don’t know. It was kind of nice to talk to him about it for some reason. He listened and he even asked questions. In his own type of way, but still”
“I told you, Minho hyung is really sweet when he’s not out for blood” Hyunjin smiled fondly as he leaned back against the back of the tub, reaching out for the wooden ladle before starting to scoop the soap out of Jisung’s hair carefully.

“Speaking of sweet” Jisung perked up, sitting up straighter to face Chan properly and ignoring the smack Hyunjin gave his shoulder as his head knocked the ladle almost out of his hand “Have you noticed how nice his hair’s been looking?”
Chan blinked at him, the wide sparkly doe eyed look Jisung was giving him melting a hole right through his chest and he had to suppress a coo.
“I think the only one who notices such things is you” Hyunjin snorted, eliciting a soft slap against the chest from the younger.

“Can you elaborate? ” Chan opted to ask as he tilted his head and leaned back on his heels.
“I don’t know, it looked different for some reason” Jisung stated matter-of-factly as he allowed Hyunjin to tilt his chin up so the beta could continue scooping the water over his hair “It’s not the first time I’ve noticed this either. I wonder if he does something with it or if the sun exposure changes the hue of it every now and then… is that even a thing?”

Chan blinked at him again and sent a confused little glance into Hyunjin’s direction who had halted his movements, slowly placing the ladle down on the edge of the tub with a pensive look on his face.
“You mean like how everyone’s hair get’s a touch lighter during summer?” Chan asked carefully as he looked back at Jisung while Hyunjin turned to face him, the crease still between his eyebrows.
In all truth, Chan hadn’t been paying the omega much mind in the past few months. Definitely not enough to notice anything changing in the younger’s hair colour. His eyes and mind had been too occupied with a different brunette who recently cut his hair shorter, displaying the patch of blonde he had hiding on the underside beautifully.

“No, not like that” Jisung shook his head when Hyunjin didn’t make any more attempts to rinse his hair “More like… I don’t know. It always seems like his hair changes colour throughout the moon cycle? That’s what I meant with that it isn’t the first time I have noticed it. I know it makes no sense, but it sometimes seems like it’s lighter and then back to a darker shade of brown”
“Ah…” Hyunjin chimed in softly, his tongue pushing the inside of his cheek “I’ve noticed that too”
Chan blinked and grimaced. What were these two on about?
“Don’t look at me like that” Hyunjin scowled, splashing some of the water into Chan’s direction, eliciting a small yelp and a flick to the forehead.

“I’m serious” Hyunjin rubbed his forehead before running his hand through his hair “But I noticed it with Lixie first”
“Felix?” Chan reeled back a little. The pink haired omega? Again, not something he could get his brain to conjure up because it was already flooded with a certain beta he couldn’t shake.
“No, my long lost grandmother Lixie I never told you about” Hyunjin deadpanned and then ducked for cover behind Jisung when Chan swiped at him.

“Brat” the alpha shot him an unimpressed glare.
“Any way” the beta continued unbothered, pulling Jisung closer to his chest as he let out a long and tentative sigh “At first I thought it was the moon playing tricks or something because our meetings at the orchard were always at night so it was dark. But then we started going back and forth during the day and I started realizing that his hair tends to change colour throughout the month. And that’s when I noticed it on Minho hyung too”

“Right?” Jisung nodded “I haven’t really paid attention to Lix, but maybe it’s because they are siblings? Or maybe they don’t like their own hair colour and change it or something?”
Chan blinked as the words struck a contradiction in his mind. Because Minho’s wolf was salt and pepper coloured. Not brown. The few times he had seen the omega in his wolf form it had been a colour that wasn’t even remotely close to what his hair looked like. Unlike Jeongin who’s caramel hair just became spotted in his wolf form.
“Minho’s fur is nothing like his hair though” Hyunjin spoke Chan’s thoughts into existence.
“What about Lix?” Jisung asked curiously as shifted around in Hyunjin’s grip in order to look at him better, his face exceptionally pale under the deep scarlet hair sticking to his face and making him resemble a drowned cat.

“What about my perfect little sunshine?” Changbin’s voice drifted in through the wood of the bathroom door, a second before it opened and a mop of aegean hair peeked his head through “Why are you all in here huddled like a flock of birds? …without me?”
“I, actually…” Hyunjin frowned as he tilted his head in thought, ignoring the alpha at the door who entered and closed it behind him, opting to slump down to the floor with his back against the wall “I have never actually seen Lix shift… like ever”
“Wait what?” Jisung reeled. Now fully turned out of Hyunjin’s arms, pulling his knees up and leaning his back against the beta’s leg that was bent up against the tub wall “How?”

“He never shifted when we used to meet at the orchard” Hyunjin pointed out “He always arrived on Innie, much like they do now when they come here”
“Hyung” Jisung turned his attention to Changbin at the other side of the bathroom, the alpha blinking up at him before raising a playful eyebrow.
“Oh, now you wanna include me?” the alpha mused, his nose up in the air “What am I?--”
“Collateral damage” Hyunjin answered before the alpha could finish his train of thought, smirking smugly as he eyed the elder.
“I will drown you” Changbin shot back just as fast and Hyunjin chuckled mischievously.
“Have you ever seen Felix shift, hyung?” Jisung continued to ask, ignoring the cat and mouse exchange.

“No” the aegean haired alpha answered, a small crease finding its way between his eyebrows “I actually asked him about that once”
“You did? When?” Hyunjin asked curiously.
“The night of our meeting after your birth month celebration, when he brought you Innie’s gift because Innie was starting his heat?” Changbin explained gently, his eyes slowly roaming around as he thought back on the exchange “He said something about it being complicated”
“Complicated?” Chan asked, his eyes quickly darting over at Jisung “Is he…?”
Because it wouldn’t be a bad thing either way but rare nonetheless to meet another wolf who also just happened to be a late bloomer just like Jisung. Though a wolf unable to shift at 19? That was beyond unheard of.

“No, nothing like that” Changbin shook his head quickly  “He told me that he is able to shift, but that it’s hard to explain why he doesn’t. So I left it as it is and dropped the subject. It never came up again after that”
“What about his hair?” Chan asked next, his face neutral.
“What about it?” Changbin smiled softly, the goofy lovestruck look on his face making Chan want to throw up just a little bit.
“Have you ever noticed the way it changed colour throughout the month?” Hyunjin clarified “Like that sometimes it’s a darker shade than other times?”
“Oh, that! Yeah” Changbin nodded, like it was the most regular news in the world “It’s often darker at the beginning of each moon cycle and gets lighter towards the end. Isn’t it lovely? He’s like a real life fae, complete with fairy dust”

“Excuse me while I vomit” Hyunjin grimaced and Chan snickered, turning his eyes away from the alpha and quickly darting them to the ceiling to keep from bursting out laughing when he caught Jisung’s aghast expression in the process.
Changbin blinked at the beta, an unimpressed expression on his face before opening his mouth and saying;
“Caramel”
Hyunjin blinked rapidly, grimace melting off of his face and coffee spiking instantly as the alpha continued to speak “Mismatched brown and blue eyes, fox-like face, stunning long fingers… need I continue?”
Changbin smirked when Hyunjin’s face almost flushed the same colour as cherry, his hand coming up to ruffle his soaked bangs forward. A little further and Chan would have feared that steam would have started puffing out of the blonde’s red hot ears.

“Next time you want to try and come for me, think twice, loverboy” Changbin added smugly “We all see how you look at him, don’t be a hypocrite”
“Shut up” Hyunjin mumbled as he looked down at the water, his bangs falling over his eyes and partially covering his face. And for a brief moment Chan felt a pang of something uneasy flare in his chest as he looked at the younger, the way he had sounded almost wistful when he tried to shut the aegean alpha down. Though he couldn’t quite figure out why and wasn’t given the chance to ask before Changbin’s voice ran through the room again.
“But how come you are on this, very random, topic about Felix’s hair?” the alpha turned his attention back to Jisung and Chan “What is this about?

“Jisung was swooning over Minho insulting him and over his hair and now these two have apparently found out that both he and Felix’s hair apparently change colours?” Chan summarized, Changbin blinking at him slowly before turning his gaze to Jisung who was staring at Chan in betrayal.
“You were swooning over Minho insulting you?” Changbin asked, a small smirk creeping up his face “Didn't know you were so kinky, squirrel”
“Can you two shut the fuck up?” Jisung snapped, his face going almost as red as Hyunjin’s as he let out a huff and sunk under the surface of the water until only the top half of his head was still visible.

The rest of them burst out into giggles and the conversation eventually shifted to the upcoming full moon and Changbin’s birth month celebration which was set to take place in two days. Something they were all excited about since it had been a couple of months since their last celebration, which was Hyunjin’s back in winter.
And now, for the first time ever, they were going to do it together with a whole extra group of wolves which Chan was finding nerve wracking for some reason or another. And so, he had put the whole hair colour conversation out of his mind, opting not to think too much about it due to already hearing Minho’s voice chiming in his head that ‘it wasn’t any of his business’ and instead focused on his best friend who was about to turn 23.

He should have not, though, put it out of his mind. He should have paid more attention to his gut trying to tell him there was something more to it than that, that he needed to be prepared.
But nothing could have prepared him for the way his own mind would end up betraying him so.

They arrived at Minho’s cottage in the early early afternoon on the day of the full moon, the sky as sunny as ever with no trace of the sporadic rain storms that had passed over them the past week. Chan just hoped that the clouds would stay away for the entirety of the day and night so they could howl to their hearts' extent when the moon was out.
But for now, the fact that the air which was covering the area around the cottage and which smelled like sugar and spice and everything under the sun that was nice, kept him plenty occupied. And he had a pretty good feeling as to why.
Felix had been baking something and it honestly smelled like heaven out here, so he could only imagine the onslaught of goodness once they got inside.

Which was also going to be a first for them.
In the past two months, even though the two packs had grown substantially closer to one another, Chan and Jisung were the only ones who were yet to set foot inside of Minho’s cottage and it was slowly eating away at his insides. He felt like a pup being allowed to go out hunting for the first time. It felt like a reward, though one that sat sick and twisted in the pit of his stomach knowing that they were still hiding things from Minho.

They quickly changed into their clothes, Hyunjin sprinting towards the door happily with his blonde hair flapping behind him.
“You guys go on ahead” Chan smiled at Jisung and Changbin who lingered behind, waiting for him as he finished dressing up “I’ll handle the pouches, I’ll be right there”
The two young alphas nodded happily before they followed Hyunjin, both of their scents soft and warm and blending in with the sweetness that hung in the air as they quickly made their way inside after the door was opened for them.

Chan let out a fond little huff, taking his time to pack up the now empty pouches carefully before finally turning around and making his way to the cottage. But he halted in his step when he met a pair of black eyes staring back at him from the front door, leaning against the door leisurely with a small smile plastered to his face.
“Why hello there, gorgeous” Chan smirked, his stomach making a small flip at the sight of the beta as he continued his way towards the door. Seungmin rolled his eyes, trying his best to keep the smile on his face from spreading and Chan felt his heart flutter when he saw the soft tissue of the boy’s bottom lip get caught under one of his fangs in the process.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes” the alpha said softly as he came to a halt in front of the beta, his voice low and his eyes briefly lingering on the younger’s lips before locking them back on Seungmin’s eyes.
“Shut up” the beta huffed “What was taking you all so long, huh? Sleep too much?”
“Yeah…” Chan mused, his voice even lower as he tilted his head and leaned a little closer to the beta in his decision to take the bait. Almost getting himself completely lost in the sweet cinnamon emitting from the younger “I was having a hard time waking up from the dreams you were occupying”
He winked and felt a jolt of satisfaction when Seungmin furiously blinked back at him, dumbfounded as a soft shade of pink dusted across his cheeks and rose to the tips of his ears.

The beta swallowed thickly and pushed himself away from the door post, whirling around and stalking back inside with a soft huff and Chan revelled in the pink he could now also see spread on the skin at the back of the beta’s neck. He let out an airy chuckle and followed after him silently, closing the door behind him before finally taking a look around.
“Sorry for the intrusion” he mumbled softly.
“Hi hyung!” Jeongin chirped happily as he flew down the stairs with Hyunjin in tow.
“Hey, baby bread” Chan smiled happily as he held out one of his arms, Jeongin squeezing himself into his side and gently scenting him. And Chan allowed the soft caramel to wash over him, feeling his heart bloom with affection for the young omega.

It was a little hard for him to believe how easily Felix and Jeongin had both opened their hearts to them, making sure that they felt included and welcome even when Seungmin trailed carefully behind. But Chan didn’t mind the latter at all.
The little push and pull he and the beta had going on for some reason, had become one of the highlights of his days. The brunette tended to keep him on his toes. In a good way.
“We’re going outside with Lix and Bin hyung” Jeongin smiled happily as he detached himself from the alpha and took Hyunjin’s hand “Minnie hyung has gone into his room, I think he’ll be down in a minute together with Minho hyung. And Jisung hyung is in the bathroom”
The younger listed everyone’s whereabouts happily and Chan had to fight to suppress the urge to coo at him.

The alpha nodded with a soft smile before making eye contact with Hyunjin. Or at least, that's what he thought he was doing because Hyunjin was just staring at him with a distant almost lovestruck look on his face.
“Uhm… Hyunjin?” Chan felt his eyebrows furrowed together lightly “Are you okay?”
“Lix… is so pretty…” Hyunjin exhaled dreamily and Jeongin beamed back at him, mismatched eyes alight with glee. Chan, however, remained confused at the sudden exclamation for something that had been common knowledge since before he had even met the boy.
Hyunjin and Changbin always gushed about him so much that he had come to believe it before even seeing him. Gushings which were later confirmed in the flesh when he finally saw the boy face to face.

“Okay?” Chan chuckled lightly, turning his attention to the stairs when he heard footsteps coming down. He smelled Felix’s soft jasmine and Changbin’s mellowed out petrichor that had taken on a slightly stormy hint as the two came down from the second floor.
And it wasn’t until the two of them were in his complete vision that Chan understood why Changbin smelled the way he did, why Hyunjin looked the way he did.
It’s like someone had taken Chan’s brain out of his skull, shook it and then poured the liquid goo back into his head without warning as he watched Felix’s bright and sunshine like smile light up at the sight of him. His big round eyes turned into slits.
And his snow white hair framing his face like a waterfall glittering around the rocks in the moonlight.

The omega quickly pressed himself into Chan for the briefest of seconds, the alpha confused beyond comprehension as Felix minutely scented him. Mixing the soft jasmine with the sweet caramel and making Chan’s already discombobulated brain feel like static.
“Hi hyungie” Felix smiled happily as he leaned back “Thank you for coming, for wanting to spend Binnie hyung’s birth month here with us”
Chan stared at him, his jaw slightly slack as he shook his head.
“No… need to thank me…” he breathed softly, trying to blink the daze out of his eyes before looking at Changbin. Changbin who just continued to stare at the back of Felix’s head with the same, if not worse, look on his face as Hyunjin.
It was embarrassing to witness but Chan was also well aware that he too was trying to school his face to not reflect the exact same thing.

‘Felix is so pretty’

Now he understood what Hyunjin had meant as the words rang true in his head. If he had thought that Felix was stunning before, he was at a complete loss as to how to describe him now. But, even then, for some reason, Felix’s hair was making the alpha beyond uneasy. Like little pinpricks of dread in the back of his neck.
“We’re gonna hang out in the river out back now that the sun is still out, feel free to join us is you want. Hyung should be down any second” Felix continued to smile, carefree like his entire appearance hadn’t just knocked the wind out of everyone in the room minus Jeongin “I would say make yourself at home but Minho would probably argue against that”
Chan managed a small chuckle and nodded, his insides feeling like they were knotting together the longer he looked at the omega. Discomfort settling in every corner of his soul.

Felix gave him a small little wave and pulled Changbin along, following Jeongin and Hyunjin outside before letting the door fall shut behind them. The room falling silent once more.
Chan exhaled a breath that he didn’t realize he had been holding when the door finally closed, his shoulder slumping as he shook his head in an attempt to ground himself from his spiralling thoughts.
No… the thought. It’s just a coincidence.
He cracked his neck in a stretch and looked around the room, smiling softly at how homey and cosy it looked inside. How nice it smelled.
He stepped over to one of the benches in front of the fireplace and placed the pouches, which he had all neatly folded into each other, onto it carefully, mumbling another soft ‘sorry for the intrusion’ in the process.

“Never stopped you before” Minho’s voice sent a jolt through his body as the sudden onslaught of white roses invaded his senses and he whirled around to face the stairs. The omega was too scarily good at hiding his scent and it surprised Chan that the man hadn’t opted to ambush them and annihilate them in their sleep 3 years ago.
“Sorry” He started softly as the omega reached the floor and leaned against the banister “Thank you… for…--”
Chan’s words caught in his throat like someone had wrapped a rope around his windpipe as he finally made eye contact with the omega, the younger looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face and the line of his shoulder so straight that it hurt to watch.
And his snow white bangs fanning over his forehead.

Completely gone was the brown like it had never existed, same as Felix’s pink. Not a trace of it left as it had made way for a mop of hair that seemed like it had been spun out of moonstones.
And Chan felt like someone had impaled him with a ragged sword, his brain turning to loud static again as he could do nothing but stare at the omega while the back of his eyes started burning with an arsenal of conflicting emotions.
Minho wasn’t a brunette. Felix’s hair wasn’t pink. The reason Jisung, Hyunjin and Changbin had noticed the colours changing was because they had been, in a way. They had been fading, slowly reverting to what it was supposed to be. Whatever it was that they used to colour their hair just faded as time went on.

‘He never shifted when we used to meet at the orchard’

Hyunjin’s words echoed through his mind and Chan felt his stomach clench painfully. Of course he didn’t. Because Felix’s fur would have given his pink façade away immediately. His and his brother’s.
Minho’s fur wasn’t salt and pepper coloured… it had always been coated with something to hide the truth that lay underneath. The truth of the snow white that was staring him in the face as he stood, stunned and breathless, his heart feeling heavy as he looked at the omega in front of him.
The truth as to why he and Felix always arrived on the backs of Seungmin and Jeongin when they went over to Chan’s territory. The truth as to why Hyunjin and Changbin had never, not once, seen Felix shift during the months they had known each other.

So why now?

“Paint a picture, it’ll last longer” Minho scowled at him after a few seconds, his eyes wary as he regarded the alpha’s form.
But Chan just stared, his heart stopped in the middle of a beat and his eyes roaming over the omega’s features like it was the first time he was ever seeing the man.
“Seriously, why are you looking at me like you’ve seen a ghost?” The omega all but snapped when Chan didn't even attempt to look away from him, the small quaver in his voice missed and lost in the static that was currently occupying Chan’s thoughts “It’s just hair, don’t make a big deal out of it”
Just hair. The alpha swallowed thickly, his body moving almost automatically as he stepped closer to the younger in a trance.

“You…” He breathed softly, his hand lifting and tucking a small strand of the snow white hair behind Minho’s ear, the touch featherlight and gentle as the emotion welling in his heart flowed through his veins like lethal acid. Noticing how the younger froze where he stood, his eyes going wide as windows as he gaped at Chan's face like the alpha had grown three heads.
There was no doubt. Not a single doubt in Chan’s mind as he continued to take in the omega in front of him, watching how he harshly smacked away the hand that had lingered at his ear. It was like being transported back in time. And he felt absolutely insane for not having noticed it sooner.

How could he not have noticed it sooner?
Even after the conversation he had had with his pack just two days ago. The topic of the changing hair colours that had confused him so much that he had decided to shrug it off like the idiot that he was.

But now there was no shrugging off anything. That look of defiance that Minho always sported whenever he protected Felix, the ice blue eyes full of contempt and wary distrust. The soft strands of white hair delicately falling over the younger’s face as he glared daggers into Chan’s skull…
Felix hiding behind him, seeming so small and so tiny, when Minho had come out to introduce him in the clearing that day.
The déjà vu he had been hit with which he had so easily brushed to the side due to his own selfish desires of not wanting to think about it. Even his subconscious had tried to tell him what was right in front of him and Chan had dismissed it…

He had dismissed it all.

“Are you trying to lose a hand, pine?” Minho hissed, his voice dripping venom and jaw clenched “Did you hit your head on the way over here? What the fuck is wrong with you? Keep your fingers to yourself”
But Chan couldn't answer, words lost in his daze and lungs constricting with a horrid mix of relief and dread as he continued to stare. Stare at his past, stare at the person he had believed dead. Perished because the world had failed them simply for being born. All the while those ice blue eyes just continued to glare poison into every corner of his soul. Fear so carefully hidden behind the iron mask of bravery.
The exact same way they had in that alley at the sight of Chan all those years ago and the exact same way they had been doing from the moment the alpha had first met him out in these woods.
How, pray tell, had he completely missed all of that?

“Lino…?” Chan breathed softly, his voice barely audible as he addressed the omega. And he watched, his heart halted in his chest and feeling like a block of lead, as the murderous intent on Minho’s face bled out of him so quickly that all he was left with was indeed something that almost resembled a ghost.