Chapter Text
Jiraiya got rouse by the cold midnight breeze, disoriented his eyes focus on the open window at the far corner, sun was barely risen, the sky still shaded with blue and lilac hues, he distinctly remembering closing the window before he settles on the bed, it must have been opened last night when he was deep on his sleep, he tried to shift slowly, not wanting to disturb the form next to him, yet one small movement and the bed cascade and she immediately followed, burying herself deeper on his side, arms that wound on his waist tightened slightly.
Jiraiya doesn't mean to but a gentle smile grazes his lips seeing Tsunade trying to erase the scant distance between them even in her sleep, as if close isn't close enough and he wonders what on earth he does for him to get lucky like this, for him to wake up to a moment only he ever gets in his dreams.
Days had blurred easily, suddenly a day had turned into a week and a week turned into a month, it's so easy to lose track of time when he wasn't thinking about anything else but to get lost in the moment, be with her, chase memories on that small respite time that faith had given them
For a month Jiraiya will wake up like this, on a gentle day where she will be laying on his side, sleeping peacefully, face lax with worries, unguarded and vulnerable, real, he had to remind himself, this was real and their life for a month now, it doesn't stop him from waking up a little early from her just to bask in the moment, to let it all sink in, still afraid that if he wakes up a little late he will find that all of it was just a beautiful curated dream
And then he will feel her nuzzle on his chest, it was his first indication that she was awake, when her cheek will immediately press on top of his heart as if his heartbeat was what had drawn her back into the land of the living, then her eyelids would flutter, beautiful long lashes would brush on his exposed torso for a split second and then... Jiraiya would held his breath when warm golden eyes would gaze up at him, lovingly, smiling softly when she will realize that he once again wake up before her, and Jiraiya who for the love of god really doesn't know how he deserves waking up on a beautiful day with a beautiful woman in his arms, would feel more than he already has in the moment, but that's not something new, he thinks, every day, every waking hour, there's nowhere else for him to go but to fall, and this time he wasn't afraid to be swept by the tide of his feelings
"Good morning, princess" He would whisper like the other times before, kissing her forehead and running his hand on her disheveled hair after, and just like she usually does, she would grumble, tuck her head in the crook of his neck displeased at being disturb at her sleep but still, her lips would brush on his pulse and she will let him pull her a little closer even though space are practically none existent between them, that's the best part he thinks, how she let's him now, how she seems to want his touch too, how she's completely relax being held by him, and how she just let him... love her
Jiraiya use to dream about it, the moment that she will let him in, on her walls, there was once a time that he almost beg, please let me love you, please just let me, he almost had done, when all the love he has for her had become too much it was begging to be poured he almost got down on his knees and ask her of that even if he's certain that he won't get anything in return, yet he doesn't, because he knows she wont let him.
Tsunade was stubborn and independent as hell, he knew that even if no matter how much he tried, if she didn't think, didn't want to be loved in the way he knew how to, he couldn't force her to accept his feelings
Now she's letting him it felt like a dream come true
"I had a dream," she whisper breaking the peaceful silence inside the room, Jiraiya peered down at her, the sight of her, blond locks in disarray, cheeks flush and just so goddamn gorgeous, took his breath away, he reaches and brush his thumb on her jaw, silently telling her to continue "in the dream i was you, and you were drowning"
"I know how to swim," he retorted cheekily just to see her smile, not liking how sombre the morning had become, Tsunade snorted, but the corner of her mouth quirked upwards, and it was a beautiful smile, especially when it was directed to him, "were you scared?"
"Hopeless," her hand slides upwards and cups the nape of his neck, pulling him closer, searching for his pulse "it felt all real, I thought I won't ever see you again"
Jiraiya let his hand wander, pulling her by the waist and let it stay on her spine, drawing soothing circles, to calm her or himself, he doesn't know, he won't start questioning what that dream is about now, they live in a world where creatures were bigger than human and glass breaks when a bad omen was about to come, her saying that she saw him dying on one of her dreams might mean nothing or everything at all, no wonder she was trying to pull him close
"I don't know how to live without you" Her eyelashes flutter on his neck when she blinks, for a moment he thought he felt moisture, but as Tsunade tended to do, she composed herself faster than any of them could blink and said firmly "So don't go out there trying to get yourself killed because Jiraiya I-..." Her nails sink on the nape of his neck but instead of pain, he shivers, knowing exactly what she had intended to say "I don't know what I will do if I ever lose you"
Despite, he pressed his smile on her temple and gently nudge his nose on her cheeks, softly maneuvering them until she was laying on her back and he can kiss away the slight jutness on her lips, he always hate to make her worried, but he was always been a reckless fool, he can't promise her anything, but for her, he will try,
"Go home with me after all of this" Tsunade paused raking her nails on his head, he met her questioning gaze steadily "you and me, with the kids, go home with me"
It's a nice image, something that made his heart full just the thought of, he can see it, he will be back at konoha after a long tiring mission and she will be there, perhaps not specifically on the doorstep of their house but she was there, welcoming him back, softly murmuring on his ears that she had been waiting for him, maybe he will get a threat or two if he arrived late, but then Konan, Yahiko and Nagato will be on their back laughing and then it won't be a problem that he slept a lot longer than he intended on a tavern far away as long he's back, and they're complete again, he can almost picture it, certain about that future, so with a more determined voice he speaks again
"Live with me when we get back," shock visibly shown on her face, and he doesn't mean to but a slight chuckle escaped his lips "I mean it, be with me, let's live together"
Because I too, don't know how to live without you.
"You always had been certain" she chuckled brushing back a hair from his forehead, eyes full of wonder
"Yes" Jiraiya hums and leans into her touch, always had been, never will be
"Then how about the other things?" Jiraiya almost lost all his breath, she was specifically telling, the one he stupidly blurt out in the middle of their argument a month ago, I would have marry you, he had said, and he meant it then, will always mean it, but...
"Isn't that too fast? For you?"
"You always say that," she snorted, but the way she skimmed her ankle on his legs tells that she's not really annoyed, perhaps bemused that he has the gal to say that he wanted to marry her but cowaring when she brings marriage as a conversation "and if we are speaking about going to fast we are doing things backwards, shouldn't you ask me out on a date first?"
"I was trying for so long, but you won't let me" He pressed a kiss on her shoulder to tell her that it's alright, it always had been, but considering how messed up things between them he felt the need to assure her "so figured I'd get naked with you first before making you dinner"
"You will?" She chuckled cradling his face in between her palm, her laughters this time are melodious, the strain that used to flow with it now gone, and her eyes, god her eyes are looking at him with so much fondness, adoration, overwhelmingly so, she's beautiful like this, all soft skin and the rising sunlight touching her hair making it looks like that she has a halo, perfectly unaware that he could burn the world if someone even touch the tips of her nail, and Jiraiya ducks down and catch her lips, unable to stop himself now that he knows he is allowed to do so
Tsunade chuckled at their kiss and muttered Unfair, as if she believed that he just kissed her to distract her from the fact that
"You can't cook for shit"
Well that's before love, when I don't have three orphans to take care of under my hands
And she looks so beautiful when she laughs again, that same laugh turns breathless when that same desire burn him whole, and it's not like this as all they do for a month, but mornings like this are his favorite too, when that desire was nowhere else to go so he let it burn him whole, let himself get lost to her because by now, there's nothing else for them to do aren't they? She had let him into her heart and he let her fix him, this is where they should be and nothing else, to be one as much as they could, to breathe each other and not be ashamed that yes, their lives depend on loving one another
She looks more beautiful like this too, he thought, whritting underneath him, both hands clenching the sheet as he thrust into her over and over again, her mouth slightly agape and not breaking eye contact, as if she was trying to prove him a point, her majesty always thinking so high of herself, and he would let her feel that, that the world was at her mercy, that everyone will bow down on her feet, he would let her feel that she owns everything, because that's how it should be, she suppose to be treated like she's a queen and he would made her feel that, even let her stomp her heels on his back, he would gladly let her do all that
"God, you're so beautiful," Jiraiya murmur mid thrust and Tsunade let out a strangled cry, her arms that's been wrapped around his shoulder tightened, her ankles cross behind his bottom and catches his mouth for an open mouthed kiss, Jiraiya felt like he would turn into pieces at the sight of her all alone, at the way she responded to his kisses all alone, so yielding and so perfect and she could crush him if she wanted too but she seems to be there to help him fix all the things that she wasn't responsible for breaking, he would carved himself into her, left a tattoo that she won't forget, the kind that she will look for on this life and too many more others, the kind that won't let her be anywhere else but just by his side, the kind that will be there for eternity
His teeth sink on her shoulder when he comes and it should be embarrassing that he get there before her first if he just doesn't know that the cruel woman had wanted it all along, whispering things no strong man wont fall on their knees into, edging him until he's lost in her, and he realized that even if he sink into her, she's the one who own him not the other way around, she's the one who will stay on his mind no matter how long they're apart, the way she says his name on the throas of passion, the way her stare burn him as she help him fall over the edge, the mess he had made in her knees because they might be reckless but they're not reckless fools, the way she smirks as she soothe him post haze of his orgasm and the way she kisses the corner of his mouth after as if she was saying that he had been good for her, it would always stay with him until he took his last breath
"Better?" She asks rubbing his back soothingly and he fucking doesn't know but he's been oddly affected by her care, arousal was singing in his blood even if he knows that she meant those words in the most innocent sense, he groans and nuzzles the crook of her neck and she chuckles, feeling him twitch in between her legs
"Don't think so" she answered amusedly at her own question and Jiraiya's grip on her waist tightened, murmuring to give him a minute for him to return the favor, and later she will laugh and murmur
"This is not a competition Jiraiya" as he backed her on the shower wall after making her fall on the edge twice, his head in between her legs, eager to please her, she would say that but the way she let out a breath of satisfaction and card her hand on his hair when he pressed his lips on her crest says otherwise, and he will prove to her then and again and again that this, indeed is a competition, and he wouldn't mind loosing as long as he'll see her so lost in pleasure, his name tumbling out on her mouth so deliciously, body arch in the most enticing way, he do that to her, he thought with a little bit of smugness, he made the strongest quiver under his touch, only he has the privilege to do that
Tsunade clutch Jiraiya's wrist that's at the side of her waist as a breathless moan escaped her lips when he thrust into her rather purposely, her hair still damp are wetting the bed, and it's hard to identify if it was sweat that's making her skin glisten or still the water from their shower, he never thought that he's capable of feeling this, this so much want, so much need that not being close to her, not being inside her felt like a torture
Close will never be close enough
Jiraiya grip Tsunade's tigh and pull her down quiet harshly,- she had been moving upwards at every violent thrust of his hips, the way she laughed as if she liked that he's getting a little rough with her made him growl and he shifted and planted his feet firmly on the floor, throw her legs on his shoulder and started an undulating rhythm, the sound of skin slapping against skin along with his grunts and her moaning echoes around the room, loud enough that he will be afraid they'll making a scene if they had company inside that house
"Fuck, harder" Tsunade moans as her body arches the bed, hand shooting out to grab the bed sheet and his arm that's beside her head, Jiraiya gritted his teeth, all the composure of a dignified soldier leaving his body as he pull his hips and push back in, letting out a growl as her bossom bounce enticingly and let out a keening moan, "yes, god yes" she whimper ankle digging on his ass most definitely liking the rhythm he sets and Jiraiya lost it, feral, he thought was something you feel in the middle of desperation, and he felt desperate, to have her clawing her nails on his skin, felt desperate to be much closer despite them already all over each other, he felt feral, desperate for her love and her lust and her need, he wants to burry himself to her and never let go, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pull her up, she gasp when he stands up with him still inside her, their mouth effortlessly found each other, tongues clumsily touching and sweat slicked chest pressed as he starts walking, to where he doesn't know, but he needs to be closer to her, needs to be close, and she was moaning on his lips whenever he step and their body was making enough friction that made them both dizzy, no surface could handle them both, she will laugh, then she will moan appreciatively when he put her down on the vanity discarding jewelry boxes and expensive box of perfume he never once smell on her
"God, what are you doing to me?" She breaths legs and arms lock around him, Jiraiya doesn't know what to say, doesn't know what to react but to thrust his hips with force, grip her waist so tightly so she won't fly from much force of her thrust, "fuck, just like that..."
Just like that, she says, like the way her nails scrap on his back and the way her eyes rolled from too much pleasure, the way those sinful red lips will seek for him everytime he tries to lean away, just like that, just the way he can see them on the mirror behind her, his palm gripping her ass tightly and his mouth sucking a skin on her neck, their complexion far contrast from each other but he had never seen, felt more perfect other than their joining, just like that, just the way it suppose to be
"Jiraiya im- ah!" Tsunade shudders when he brings a hand in between them, and Jiraiya nodded, slip and curl his thumb on that little bundle of nerves and that's all it takes for her to quiver, body shaking as she cried out his name, and he thought as he chases his own pleasure, there's nothing more beautiful than seeing her fall apart, body sleak with sweat uttering his name with such devotion, nothing will ever be as perfect than them.