Chapter Text
The Next Day
Club Time
Natsuki returned to see if MC had left. Everyone else sits in silence, wondering how to handle the situation. Natsuki can sense this atmosphere as she sets her things down and is instantly annoyed by it.
“Are you guys seriously still thinking about MC? Come on, we’re better off without him.”
Natsuki lets her mind be known soon after her arrival.
“Hey! That’s not true!”
Sayori quickly retorts, sounding as close to angry as she can without crossing that line.
"How can you say that after what he did to you?!"
Natsuki snaps back, angrily.
"Guys, don't fight about this! That's not helping!"
Monika interjects.
"Sorry, Monika."
Sayori looks away in shame.
Natsuki just crosses her arms, grunting and resisting the urge to drive her point home further, even if she didn't want to argue with Sayori in particular.
"We just need to change our perspective."
Monika continues.
The girls look at each other, understanding her words, but Yuri is not fully committing to either side of the spectrum.
"I understand Natsuki’s view, b-but it seems quite extreme. I-I just don't know."
Yuri chimes in, quickly fiddling with her hair.
"I forgive him."
Sayori blurts out.
"You do?"
Monika responds in surprise.
"Sure! It wasn't him, right? He wasn't trying to hurt us. He doesn't even remember it."
Sayori points out enthusiastically.
Her ability to look on the bright side for the sake of her friends is on full display.
"It was his mouth!"
Natsuki brings her point back around.
"Let's just take a minute to imagine his perspective. He passes out during a scary movie, wakes up one morning and finds out all his friends hate him. It sounds harsh, but I don't think I'm far off in saying that."
Monika moves to bring everyone under one view point.
All three girls make no attempt to correct her. For a period of time, they all did hate him.
"That's the MC we all know and love. I think I forgive him too."
Monika finalizes her decision with a small smile.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"
Natsuki raises her voice.
"HE'S A MONSTER!!"
Natsuki yells in a tone that attempts to downplay the other's intelligence.
"Natsuki! He isn't! He has a mental illness that he can't control."
Sayori argues back, knowing how that feels.
"It's true, Natsuki. He has no control over it."
Monika tries to get Natsuki to understand as tensions rise amongst them.
Yuri stays quiet, not sure if she would add to this conversation or make it worse. Although, it does hurt her inside to hear Natsuki completely ignore the logic of the situation. However, understanding Natsuki's problems, she wonders how much of her reaction is trauma based.
"Do you even know how STUPID you guys sound?! He's going to come back and ruin our lives! Are you going to invite him back?!"
Natsuki asks sternly, with an anger surge that will push her to make drastic moves.
"We're not having one of you without the other."
Monika tries to stay down the middle, but this isn't what Natsuki wanted to hear.
"Then I'm out, for real this time!"
Natsuki takes up her bag and heads for the door, stomping and choking up on the way.
"Natsuki-"
Sayori starts before getting cut off.
"Thank MC for ruining everything!"
Natsuki's voice cracks from the yelling, with anger and a hint of sadness before slamming the door behind her, leaving the Literature Club.
----------------------------------------------------
November 13th, Friday, 3 PM
The bell rings, signaling the end of our math class. Normally, this would be when I head to the club. At least now I can have a little bit of peace about my decision to leave. It was my choice, and I'm confident that it's the best one to make. I shiver every time I think about my second personality. In one night, he nearly destroyed my relationship with the club, and he did destroy my relationship with Sayori.
My chest is hit with a burst of anxiety and tightness. I never realized how much Sayori really meant to me before she accidentally confessed her feelings.
Mr. Akira: "MC?"
Oops, I was completely spaced out.
MC: "S-Sorry, I was lost in thought."
He flashes a fake grin before looking back at his papers.
I guess I at least partially know why everyone treats me so weirdly now. How would they know who they're talking to? Heh, it would almost be comical if it wasn't me as the butt of the joke.
"Eeuhh…"
My spine shivers again before I stand up from my desk.
Monika: "MC?"
I turn my head and see Monika in the doorway.
Mr. Akira: "Hello, Monika. Did you need help with something?"
"No, sir, I came here to see MC."
"Ah, I see."
I can hear the confusion in his voice, despite not looking at him.
"Come take a walk with me, MC."
I can hear the odd mixture of kindness and seriousness in her voice.
MC: "M-Monika, that's not a good idea-"
"MC, stop being overdramatic and follow me."
She demands with a stern tone. It sounds like she knew I was going to try and back out.
"O-Ok…"
I stand kinda stunned, but I can't help just following her orders as I sling my backpack around my arm.
“Where are we going?”
I ask as we leave the classroom.
“Nowhere in particular.”
Monika responds as students quickly take note of me and Monika walking together. I never really stopped to think about Monika’s reputation. She never seemed to care about hanging out with me in public, despite how much I’m hated and she’s loved.
Whispers and mumbles are heard as we move down the hallways all the way to the exit.
“Want to get something to eat?”
“I guess so. What’s this about, Monika?”
I start prodding as we walk toward the shops.
“You're a smart guy, MC. I'm sure you can guess."
I guess that was a pretty dumb question.
"You want me back in the club?"
"Of course, it's not the same without you… or Natsuki."
"Natsuki left?!"
"I told her I would invite you back. She wasn't a fan of that idea."
I can hear regret in Monika's voice. Maybe she said something wrong to her.
"I'm sorry. It's all my fault."
"No it's not, MC. It's that second personality of yours. He acted without your input. Don't blame yourself."
“But what can even be done about it? Xander, uh, I mean, y-your dad. S-Sorry, that’s just so weird.”
“Ahaha, I can imagine. He’s been your doctor for quite a long time, right?”
“More than that. He used to be kind of strict, but I guess he took pity on me after a while. I think he wanted to be a father figure, since my parents divorced. He made sure I did well in my studies, helped me make a couple of short term friends, and gave general life advice, you know. I really look up to him.”
“O-Oh wow, I had no idea. You just happened to get sent to the same school as his daughter? If he knew your condition, he would never have done that. N-No offense, of course.”
“Heh, none taken. I wouldn’t have either. So it wasn’t him that got me sent to this school. I know it couldn’t have been my mom either. I-I should probably keep the why to myself.”
“I understand. Let’s go get some food. There’s some things you should know.”
“Huh? Alright…”
A few more ideas spring into my head about what’s going on, but I’ll let Monika do some info dumping first. I… really want to go back to the club. But I can’t let this second, more destructive, side of myself be connected to them. In his first outing, he nearly destroyed my life. Plus, at the end of the day, it is just a club. It’s not worth any potential danger… But at the same time, Monika, Yuri, Sayori, and Natsuki are my first real good friends, especially Sayori. It’s more than a club, it was more like a second chance at life after the divorce. Even after such a short time, they feel like part of me.
Monika and I arrive at the place she had in mind, and it’s… Hey! It’s the same coffee shop we visited when I ‘interrogated’ her. Heh, I still remember the face she made when she figured out what I was really doing.
“Oh yeah, this place. The tea was pretty good.”
“They have some desserts here too.”
Monika smiles as if we aren’t about to have a serious discussion.
But her forced eagerness works on me. I can’t help but smile in return.
“Sounds good.”
We enter and approach the heavily lined up counter. School just got out, and I guess they’re busier than usual.
“I guess we’ll be waiting a while.”
“Don’t worry, I come here pretty often. They’re fast. We’ll be up front in no time.”
Ding
The door behind us opens and- NO! YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!
CARTER WALKS IN!
“Y-You’re kidding!”
Monika read my mind.
He looks fine until he sees us and smirks.
Carter: “Hey, Monika~ MC? Man, I’m really really tired of seeing your name and face. I feel like I’m back in high school again.”
MC: “Uh, b-but you are in high school.”
He gives me a slightly annoyed look, like I said something stupid.
“Dude, I’m 26. Use your brain.”
That’s probably the most casual thing I’ve heard him say to me. It almost throws me off guard.
“If you’ve heard a rumor about me, it’s probably true. Bet you’d know about that, huh?”
He smirks again. He must be talking about the weird government accusations. Although…
“Using MC as a shield isn’t going to work, Monika. Why shouldn’t I take my end of the bargain right now?”
What?! No, Monika, you didn’t!! She made another deal with him?!
Monika: “I-I… J-Just listen, Carter! If there’s one good thing I can say about you, it’s that you keep your word. Even though that’s the only good thing. I ask that you have that same trust in me. I-I’ll get back to you.”
Monika is frozen up, looking at his intimidating figure. Her confident facade is not very strong right now.
“... Fine. It’s not like I don’t have your family's info anyway. You couldn’t run if you wanted to. Just don’t wait too long, babe.”
Carter casually dismisses himself and marches straight for the kitchen in the back. What the heck?
“Hey, Jack, you got my frap?”
???: “Stop calling me Jack!”
I guess he knows people here.
I look over at Monika. She’s staring at the floor, frozen with worry. What has she gotten herself into?
MC: “L-Let’s get our drinks to go.”
“H-Huh? R-Right, yeah, we’ll do that.”
I get a cookie and tea while Monika just gets what I believe to be the same drink she got last time.
“Let’s go to one of the parks down the road.”
“Alright, lead the way.”
We stay silent for the walk, but when we get to the park, the silence is awkward. Where do I start?
“Look, MC, it isn’t what you think.”
Monika says quietly, looking down as we walk the path of the park.
“Even if it isn’t, it’s enough to be concerned. Monika, what have you gotten into?”
“MC, you can’t get involved with Carter again. He almost gave you permanent injuries. Please, just stay out of it.”
But something has changed since then. I believe I have my second self to thank for it.
I’m ripped at this point!
Even if he can still beat me, it wouldn’t be easy if I learned some simple techniques. But for Monika’s sake, I won’t say anything about that.
“Alright, I concede… What was it that we were originally going to talk about?”
“O-Oh right, the club.”
“Oh yeah…”
It suddenly seems silly to talk about this.
We kinda just keep walking until Monika suddenly stops at a bench. I join her. It feels nice to sit down and let our muscles loosen up a little. Though it's only so comfortable with the school uniforms. We both take a sip of our drinks, and I stuff my cookie wrapper in my pocket.
“MC, we want you back in the club. If you can’t talk to my dad about it, then you’ll be alone, and, well, that just isn’t right. Let us be your friends, just like you’ve been to us. You’ve done a lot for the members of the club, and me too.”
“How would you even know that?”
“Girls talk, MC.”
She lets out a light chuckle.
There’s something I need to know before I could ever decide on this.
“Monika, I need to know. What did he do on Halloween?”
“Why do you ask?”
She’s hesitant. She doesn’t want to tell me. Do I really even need to know? Ack, my curiosity will get the better of me at some point.
“I don’t really know, to be honest, but I feel like I should know. I just want to understand what happened.”
“Well… ok, MC. But you won’t like it.”
I feel my breath stop before she speaks.
It feels like the people passing by on the path and birds flying through the air slow down to a crawl.
“I kicked you out before… I-I mean, him out before he said anything about me, but… He made…”
Monika holds her arms as she looks for words.
“Sorry, it’s just really hard to say it out loud.”
“T-That’s alright.”
“H-He made fun of Natsuki for being beaten by her dad. He said she deserved it. I think he even alluded to her starving. He made her feel weak, vulnerable, terrible. I wanted to ask her about it, but she hasn’t acted the same after that night. I didn’t want to intrude.”
Oh my God, no wonder she hates me! I feel absolutely no disdain for Natsuki for how she’s been treating me! How could I have ever said that?! If Natsuki doesn’t feel safe at home, and she has to be back at a certain point… I took away the one place where she can feel safe!
“I-I can’t believe it!”
“I’m afraid that’s not the worst of it.”
Monika never lets her eyes off the ground. Her hands are fidgeting as she continues.
“N-No way!”
My heart. I don’t know if I can hear more, but I don’t stop her.
“H-He called Yuri a freak. He rushed to her and ripped her sleeves up. We all saw the scars on her arms. He said that she deserved to be alone, and that no one would want to date a freak like her. I-I think he only said that because she liked you.”
“GHH!!”
Yuri?! NO! I wouldn’t say that if my life were at risk!
Even Monika is trembling slightly.
“H-He…”
Monika stops. I can’t see her face behind her hair, since she’s looking down.
“M-Monika?”
“S-Sorry, it’s just hard for me to say. He… implied that… I mean, Sayori stopped him before he could say it, but… he implied that Carter should have-”
“Oh my God!! No!! Don’t finish that!!”
I put my face in my hands. I feel the tears welling up.
Was I seriously going to say that Carter should have just had his way with her?! I AM A FREAK!!
“MC? Remember, it wasn’t you that said these things.”
I can hear and feel Monika looking at me.
I can’t hold back the single sob that gets let loose.
“I-It… feels like it was. How? How could my brain and mouth have even done that?!”
“MC, I know you would never say anything like this. It's the only reason we even gave you a second chance. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Y-You’re right, but I still feel guilty.”
“I think it would be better if I stopped there. Sayori is arguably worse.”
“N-No, she’s the one I need to make amends with the most. I accepted her confession that Halloween. I feel terrible, but… sniff I need to know.”
Do I really? I’m not sure, but it’s too late now.
“Are you sure, MC?”
Monika looks genuinely concerned.
“Yes…”
“Alright, here it goes. He called her a depression-fueled freak, I believe. Made fun of her dead parents and said she didn’t deserve to be happy.”
N-No! No way!
“Said that she really was just a waste of space and a burden. He said… sigh He said that you should never have messed with the noose-”
“NO!! THERE’S NO WAY!!”
My heart just exploded into a thousand pieces as I jolt up from the bench!
“I HAVE TO SEE SAYORI RIGHT NOW!!”
“Woah! Calm down, MC! She forgives you already!”
“W-What?!”
I can barely digest that!
“What do you mean ‘she forgives me’?! HOW?!”
“We talked about it yesterday, and she forgives you.”
She must be some kind of a saint! How could she possibly-
“I-I won’t be content until I see her! I have to go. Sorry to leave you alone, Monika, but I can’t take it!!”
I take off in a sprint! I think I heard Monika again, but I don’t care right now! I was a complete monster, an evil dumpster bin of a human, but Sayori forgave me?! I almost don’t believe it! How could she possibly- I HAVE to see her!!
As I take off down the road, people wonder if something is wrong. Occasionally, I have to dip in the road to avoid large groups. I feel so fast, so energized! Is this adrenaline working? Gah! I don’t care! I don’t even care that I’m probably ruining my school shoes with all the skids and scrapes!
...
Before long, I made it to Sayori’s house. That’s when I realize just how much I ran and how fast I was. I’m sweating all over my school uniform and panting. I guess these new muscles didn’t come with endurance.
I stop thinking and knock on Sayori’s door.
After a moment, I hear and feel footsteps. The intensity and sound indicate they’re hers. Of course they are, stupid. Who else would it be? With how tense I am, it feels like it’s taking an eternity for the door to open. My head feels foggy to the point where I feel like I’m in another state of mind. After I come out of the void, the door finally begins to creak.
It opens slowly, revealing Sayori in her casual outfit, but when I look at her face, I can’t bear it.
______________________________________________________________________
“He called her a depression-fueled freak, I believe. Made fun of her parents and said she didn’t deserve to be happy. Said that she really was just a waste of space and a burden. He said… He said that you should never have messed with the noose-”
______________________________________________________________________
“Sayori…”
I feel pressure in my eyes. Such a sweet girl, and I told her to-
I grab her and hug her, which makes her yelp and freeze.
“SAYORI!! I’M SO SORRYYYY!!”
I can’t stop myself! I’m crying like a child, but I don’t care!
“I’M A MONSTER!! PLEASE, SAYORI, PLEASE!!”
My voice lowers to that of a whisper.
“I don’t want you to die…”
Sayori: “MC…”
I back off of her shoulder and look at her. I’m probably full of tears and looking foolish.
"I forgive you."
She smiles so sweetly, with her eyes watering. She actually means it. That smile breaks me. I can't!
I hug her again and cry, breaking completely as the moment crushes my pride into a fine dust.
She hugs me back gently.
…
We find ourselves on Sayori's couch. I'm still a sniffling mess, despite Sayori handing me countless tissue boxes.
"Thanks sniff… I can't imagine how that must have felt for you."
"It was bad, but the club got me through it. I was more confused than angry. I knew something had to be wrong."
"W-Wow, thanks for having faith in me, Sayori."
"Natsuki was hit the hardest though."
"Yeah, I can tell. I want to apologize to her personally."
"I hope she'll let you."
"Yeah… Um, I-I understand if you don't want to be a couple anymore."
"Maybe if you can get that meanie out of your head, we can try again."
Sayori is being surprisingly tame about this. It makes me nervous and a little suspicious.
"You know, MC; I spiraled back into my depression really hard when that second half of you did that."
"GH! I-I'm so sorry, Sayori!"
"It's ok. I already forgave you, didn't I?"
"Y-Yeah, I suppose."
It feels like I can't say it enough.
"But I was able to push through with the help of my friends. Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri were there for me. Yuri let me stay in her house when I was feeling really bad. Monika set up little sessions in the club where we could get our thoughts and emotions out. Natsuki was even motivational, in her own way, heheh. He started this mess, but you helped us out of it."
"W-What do you mean?!"
"Yuri's cutting, my depression, and Natsuki's dad- You've done so much for us. You helped me and Yuri get close enough to help each other too. When Natsuki wanted to get away from home, you were there. You helped the whole club get closer, even if it was through something terrible. You were there, and you cared. Everyone in the club really cares for each other now. I think your second side made us realize that. We depended on each other to get through."
“Do you really think that?”
“Of course, we were all kind of broken. I know that’s a little dramatic, but I don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have my friends.”
I think I understand what Monika was telling me now, even though she didn’t get much time.
“The Literature Club. It was always more than that, wasn’t it? I’ve felt it too. Losing you guys in my life hit me really hard, especially you.”
We both blush once I realize what I just said.
“B-But I took you all for granted. I’m never doing that again.”
Sayori grabs my hand.
“Awww, you’re being all mushy~”
Sayori seems to have shifted to a goofy mood. Heh, maybe she’s tired after school.
“Eheh, s-shut up…”
My face heats up at that embarrassing comment before she lets go.
“Ehehe, so you're gonna come back to the club?”
“I want to, but I still don’t know if it’s the right choice. I still can’t comprehend having a second personality.”
“Maybe just come back for a bit, and we can talk it out. We’re not in danger all the time or anything.”
“Sigh, I guess you’re right. What about Natsuki?”
“Don’t worry, I have faith she’ll come through.”