Chapter Text
Ben wasn’t particularly worried when he heard an knock on the door to his apartment. The affini had been on his planet for what, two days now? And so far nobody had spontaneously combusted. Or well, he did see some interesting things out of his window yesterday, but judging from the look on the person that affini was wrangling, that was likely a different kind of combustion (bow chicka bow wow).
“Its unlocked!” He yelled out, rousing from his sleep and sitting up on his couch.
“Hello cutie, this is- oh! Usually I have to do a whole introduction, then I break down the door. That’s refreshing!” He heard a light voice, melodic and oddly nondescript it many ways as the door opened, a whirling mass of vines entering, slowly reforming into… well actually it was rather hard to say. It was honestly still mostly just a mass of vines, although it had a defined face as marked by its six glowing eyes, constantly shifting in color. It was also lacking a lot of the defining features most affini he had seen had, like flowers or some other kind of botanical decorations.
“Oh wow, all you guys I’ve seen outside have been a lot more, well, like me I guess. Or like a terran I should say.” He said, staring up at the affini mostly in curiosity rather then fear. The affini giggled, although he couldn’t tell where the voice was actually coming from.
“I’m still deciding on what form I’d like to take for a majority of this bloom sweetie. Apologies if my lack of features frightened you. Now, my name is Kassandria Betula, 211th Bloom, and I use they/it pronouns.” It replied, shifting around as it spoke to take in Ben’s apartment. Ben simply rose his eyebrows as he stood up, stretching his back.
“Is uh, a Bloom a year, or like, a decade or something. Or a century? That would be cool.”
“Close! Blooms can last up to 300 years, although I tend to rebloom a little earlier, so in your calender I would be a little under 50,000 years old!” It chirped, patting him on the head with a vine as it started to pick up a few things around his hab. That was actually a big help, he hadn’t cleaned up in a while.
“Wow, thats a lot of years. Cool! Oh, I’m Ben. He/Him pronouns, I guess.” He leaned into the vine petting him slightly as he went to go help pick up the small amount of trash on his table (okay it wasn’t a small amount), but Kassandria simply forced him to stand still.
“You guess, sweetie?”
“Uh, yeah? I’ve thought about that kind of stuff before and didn’t really come up with anything so, He/Him is fine for now. It doesn’t make me feel bad or anything.” That was actually the truth. It didn’t make him feel good or bad really, it was just words.
“Hmm, that’s fair dear, but if that ever changes let me know. Now, I suppose I should mention why I’m here. I was sent to check up on you as a currently independent sophont now joining the Affini Compact. I’m here to ensure your standard of living is up to the quality we expect and help you transition into your new life.”
“Oh, okay. I uh, I’m sorry about the mess. I usually force myself to clean up once a week, but then all this stuff happened with you guys, and I realized I didn’t have to go to work so I just kinda played some games and-“ Ben was silenced as one of their smooth and rather silky vines pressed into his lips, and he blushed as he realized he was rambling.
“I understand sweetie. Although I must ask, what do you mean by force yourself to clean up?” It asked, beginning to work on the dishes in the sink. Wow it had been cleaning for a few minutes now and it was already almost done picking up the place! Although, honestly with the efficiency it was cleaning, it taking a few minutes might have said more about how bad the mess had gotten.
“I mean nobody likes cleaning. So I just go one piece at a time, knock it out over the course of a night. Sometimes i’ll sit down for a sec and almost fall asleep so I gotta bite myself and get back up-“ Ben instantly recognized this was the most incorrect thing he could have ever said. Every bit of motion in the whirling mass in front of him ceased, and the eyes of the affini turned and bore down into him.
“What was that dear?” Kassandria asked, its voice still melodic but now with a very serious undertone. Come to think of it, there was another different kind of feeling to their speech, but Ben didn’t really understand what that was. Rather then feeling scared, Ben simply blushed as the affini stood (is stood the right word?) over him.
“Uh well, you know, its like when someone slaps themselves in a movie to help them focus. I do it a lot if I need to stop procrastinating on something. Or if I get mad. Or, I don’t know, I just wanna bite something.” Ben felt the blanket he had wrapped around him fly off in a flash, instinctively covering himself despite the fact he was wearing a t-shirt and shorts. He heard the affini gasp as it saw the multitude of bite marks up and down his arms, some bruised or scabbed over, some with scars, a few on his legs.
He blushed even harder at the sudden lack of his comfy blanket, his rather thin face growing red. His black hair fell down a decent ways over his neck, although it was extremely messy. The lack of any real fat or muscle on much of his body made the bite marks stand out even more.
“Oh sweetheart, no no no! It’s okay to want to bite things, but you do not hurt yourself because you are upset or angry!”
“Why not? Its better then like, breaking stuff. Stuff is expensive.” Kassandria let out a deep sigh, reminded once again how surprised (and deeply thankful) it was these terrans had survived as long as they did in a capitalist society like they had.
“Ben, I’m going to ask you some questions now to gauge a few things. What do your average days consist of?”
“Uh, well most days I go to work for like, a long time. I shower before I go usually but sometimes I forget and I kinda feel bad about it. Thankfully my uniform at the restaurant I serve at has long sleeves, people usually get freaked out at my arms. Then I come home and eat, then I either sleep or play some games or watch some streamer I like or an anime I want to keep up with. Oh, and sometimes I’ll fall asleep right when I get home.”
“And, what do you do in your free-time sweetie?” Ben blinked at them, tilting his head.
“I just said what I do. OH! You mean on like days off. Uh, I don’t get those super often, but usually I save those for chores I can’t get done during the week cause i’m too tired. Sometimes i’ll just end up laying down and watching stuff the whole day, or talking with people in chat rooms. Then I wake up and realize I didn’t get anything done and well…” He embarrassingly gestured to his arms.
This time he felt, not heard, a groaning wave of sadness come off of Kassandria, although he was surprised it didn’t feel condescending at all. It was less someone realizing something sad, and more so the feeling of someone who knew the world could be cruel, but still disliked being reminded of it. Like a mortician looking at a dead body and thinking about who that person could have been.
“Okay dear. Do you eat breakfast in the morning before you go to work?” They asked, and Ben shook his head.
“No, i’m not really hungry in the mornings. At work I don’t really get a lunch break so I just eat when I get home.”
“Ben, you said that you often just fall asleep when you get home.”
“…oh right, yeah. Those days I usually eat something small before I go to work the next day.” He said, shrugging as he tried to move again, but was stopped once more by the affini. That was getting kind of annoying.
“So let me get this straight. You only eat one meal a day, sometimes don’t eat at all, don’t shower everyday, only leave the house for work, and rarely engage in your own personal hobbies?” Kassandria emanated a feeling of disbelief over the sophont, truly confused at how they believed this was an okay life to live. They saw Ben shrug again, blushing a bit, but they could also notice him shaking slightly as he stood there under its grasp.
“I guess when you lay it all out, yeah its not super great.”
“That’s a bit of an understatement. I’m going to have to sign you up for a wardship immediately. An affini will be assigned to you and help you adjust to your new life in the Compact, and if that doesn’t work out we will have to consider things from there.” Oddly, the terran didn’t seem particularly scared by the mention of a wardship. He simply looked up at it, confusion and sadness the main thing it could feel coming from his form.
“I-I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” He said, staring up at what he would most likely consider its face. Kassandria used a vine to gesture to the cramped apartment around him, in clear disrepair, trash and clothing picked up but its surfaces still stained and dirty. They also gestured to Ben, and the marks littering his body.
“Petal, this isn’t a way to live. No human interaction outside of forced labor, in a cramped unhygienic room, barely eating, hurting yourself for motivation or to release anger? You don’t even have an actual bed to sleep on, or a hamper to put clothes in, or-“
“I FUCKING KNOW!” The terran shrieked at the top of his lungs at Kassandria, truly catching them off guard for the first time in genuine centuries. As they had been listing the problems with Ben’s living situation, they had failed to notice him slowly shaking more and more, tears building in his eyes. Before they could say anything, he continued screaming.
“I know my life is fucking dogshit, I know I’m not good enough! I wake up everyday and I hate that I can’t do more or be better, and then I hurt myself because of it, and I hate myself even more for that! I just, UGH!” The anger radiating off the terran reached a boiling point as he lifted his hand to his mouth and attempted to bite down onto the side of its palm. Faster then anything he had ever seen, before his eyes could even track it, Kassandria had pinned his arms to his sides, sitting a vine between his teeth as it ensnared him with several more and lifted him up to their pseudo-face.
Undeterred, he ground his teeth into the vines, and although they did not seem damaged in anyway he was still able to sink his teeth into them, flailing slightly as he let out his pent up aggression. After a minute or so, he let go, simply crying as the affini placed their head against his.
“i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry, i hate when i get so mad, i don’t wanna throw tantrums or break things or hurt people. i tried my best. i really did, i promise.” He said through the tears, and that blast of pure emotion was back, true sorrow coming from Kassandria, although it was laced with something else. Understanding, he thought.
“No, I’m sorry little one. I truly and deeply apologize for my words.” It amazed Kassandria that after tens of thousands of years, it was still so easy to make mistakes. Of course Ben knew this wasn’t a way to live, but it was the best they could do. Thank the stars the affini got here when they did and not a second later.
“W-why are you apologizing? I’m the one who-“ Ben was interrupted as Kassandria pulled his head away slightly, his eyes directly meeting all six of its. They looked incredible, flashing colors shifting into what looked like fractal patterns, expanding and shifting no matter how deep into them you looked.
“Petal, what’s your favorite color?”
“Uh, what? Blue? Why are you asking?” He said, confusion cutting through the cloud in his mind he felt from staring at the affini. That cloud instantly reformed and got infinitely heavier when all of Kassandria’s eyes shifted to the deepest blue he had ever seen, an veritable ocean expanding across his vision.
“Listen to me well when I say this. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. The fact you managed to survive in the situation you were forced into as long as you did is nothing short of spectacular. You, are nothing short of spectacular.” Suddenly the cloud in his mind began to pour rain, Kassandria’s words washing away any thoughts he had about his way of life before. He nodded, enchanted by the mythological being in front of him.
“Okay. I’m still sorry for biting you though.”
“Think nothing of it Ben, I felt no pain.” It slowly set down Ben as it pulled out a tablet from inside itself, quickly reading over Ben’s file one more time as it updated certain pieces of information and began filing a form.
“Okay. So um, what happens now? I don’t have to work anymore right? I thought you guys said everything is free in all your broadcasts. And do I still have to do that wardship thing?” He said, sitting down on the couch.
“Lets go one step at a time here petal. We are currently finishing up emergency hab units for sophonts like yourself whose living conditions are far too low for our standards, so normally we would be moving you into one of those, but I am currently coming up with a different solution. Rest assured your new home will be much better then this.”
“And yes, everything in the compact is completely free of charge, and if you want something that doesn’t hurt other people you can have it with ease. Although if its something that hurts in a fun consensual way, we could make exceptions.” It added with a bit of flirtiness rising in its voice, winking with the three of its six eyes on the left side of its face. He blushed, but waited for it to continue, and when it did its tone was slightly more grim.
“As for your wardship, I’m afraid I’ve determined that would also be lacking in this scenario. I am currently having a friend of mine print out domestication forms for you, and we will leave shortly to pick them up.” Kassandria gave him a moment to reflect on what it just said, and after a bit he felt his shoulders drop, the only feeling coming from him being exhaustion.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t live on my own.”
“It’s okay petal. I believe you when you said you tried your best. Sometimes our best isn’t enough, and that’s okay. Even I have already made several mistakes in how I handled this wellness check.” It said, and Ben laughed weakly, leaning into the bottom of the mass of vines as the two sat there for a moment.
“I, kinda got the impression you guys weren’t the type to make mistakes often.” He said, and for the first time he felt a truly resounding surge of humor and happiness come off of the affini, a deep laugh echoing from it.
“Oh petal, I’m sorry for laughing so hard. I’m going to tell you the biggest secret about us affini, one no young bloom would ever let you know. We have made more mistakes then any other species in the universe have ever or will ever make. I’ve lived for a very long time, the amount of bad things I’ve done by accident, or even on purpose occasionally, is truly staggering.”
“…so then, why do you do all of this? Taking in people, making them your pets- and I’m still not sure I really understand what that means entirely- why put in so much effort if you know you’ll mess up?” Ben watched as their pseudo-face, which had really just been their eyes on an otherwise featureless mass of wood matching the color of their vines, began to shift as a smile was quite literally carved into it in real time.
“Because, little one, while the gap between us and perfection is truly, inescapably vast, it was once even larger. Every mistake I make, every wrong choice, brings me one step closer to being the best version of me, and that means the better I can help sophonts like you. Although I don’t truly believe I’ll ever be perfect. The Compact will perfect itself long before I could perfect myself.”
“And as for why we take in sophonts like yourself, that’s simple. Many affini will tell you that its because no one else in the universe can relieve you of the pain you suffer otherwise, and while that’s true it’s also misleading. Its because the pain we feel knowing there are others like you hurting is so incredibly deep, and the only way we can make it better is by doing something about it.”
Ben sat with that for a minute. He knew there was likely more to the affini and their conquest that Kassandria was omitting, not out of an attempt to hide information but simply because that wasn’t the point of this conversation, but he was fine with learning more later. He turned to them, looking up as Kassandria flexed their new facial “muscles” thinking about what they should add to their face.
“Pain’s kind of just, a part of life though isn’t it? Not that it shouldn’t be alleviated or anything, just that… I don’t think a world entirely without it would be better to be honest.”
“That’s…honestly quite insightful petal. I don’t disagree with you per say, but I think you’ve only gone halfway with that line of thinking. I personally agree that this world would not be able to exist in a satisfying way without pain. But I also don’t believe if we were to truly conquer all hardships, that it would be done in this world. The laws of the universe are restrictive in that way, everything leans towards chaos and entropy. Of course, I’m nowhere near the first sophont to have that thought, nor do I think the answer will come anytime soon. Although I must say, when I started my day I wasn’t expecting to be pondering the meaning of life with you.”
Ben could tell this was something it had thought about a lot, and he felt oddly joyful at the fact it felt comfortable discussing it with him. Although he did laugh slightly at the last sentence Kassandria spoke, causing them to turn to him confused.
“Sorry, sorry. I just, kinda already got the meaning of life figured out, so that’s already done.” Kassandria smiled at Ben as he looked up at them, finding their floret to be’s confidence adorable.
“Oh? That’s incredible, we’ve been looking for the answer for as long as we’ve existed, and it only took you twenty two years! Go on petal, i’d love to hear it.” Ben crossed his arms and huffed slightly at their tone, before taking a second to gather his thoughts.
“I mean, if anything you guys already found it, you just haven’t realized yet. The meaning of life is just like, to live it, you know.” The affini couldn’t help but chuckle at that, causing him to blush and stomp his foot.
“Listen, I get I’m not the best at wording stuff but you could at least listen to me first before laughing!”
“I’m sorry petal, i’m sorry, please go on.” It composed itself and looked on at the terran below it, fully concentrating on what he said.
“I don’t mean the point of life is being alive, even if that’s obviously part of it. Its just like, for whatever reason the universe exists and we are part of it. Everybody always says we’re just like, a speck in comparison to the universe, and that always bugged me, I don’t get how people can get it so wrong.”
“Then what are we in comparison to the universe?” It asked, genuinely curious now.
“We aren’t anything compared to the universe, we are the universe. Everything that has ever happened or existed at some point led up to you and I existing in the same time, having this conversation. You and I aren’t more or less important then literally anything else in the universe because we are all our own piece of it.” He looked up to gauge its reaction, and it simply nodded its head, wanting him to continue.
“And like, things suck most of the time. People hurt, people die, stuff erodes over time. But there’s things we can do to make that better, even if they are inadequate. Everyday, you and every other affini do your absolute best to make that stuff better. And I think that’s what life is all about. You become a part of the universe for a certain amount of time, and in that time you do what you can to make things better. And I know it’s really hard to do that, to muster up the energy to help when sometimes you can barely even help yourself. So thank you, like, you as in all of the affini, but also you specifically. Really.”
Ben took a deep breath, not realizing he had been going on for a while until he was done speaking, and looked back up at the affini above him. For a moment he recognized it trying to fully grasp the meaning of his words, before eventually another wave of emotion rolled off of it. While the wave was calmer and less forceful, it was also so absurdly powerful compared to the other times this had happened, so much so he could barely comprehend what it even was he felt. Just a potent surge of adoration and affection, along with an odd twinge of sadness.
“S-sorry if I sounded stupid or something, I’ve just had a lot of time to think about stuff like this.” He was quickly given a response as they raised a vine to his head, petting him a bit. He leaned into it slightly as Kassandria spoke.
“No, no petal. I was just thinking about how lucky I am to be here with you in this moment. That’s an incredibly beautiful way to view the world, and one that I think some affini share, although many are too focused on the execution side of our species mission to truly think that deeply on it.”
“What about you? Do you share it?” He felt another twinge of sadness wash over him as he asked.
“I don’t think I can just yet.” He nodded, understanding it was not the time to question why that was. He instead asked another question.
“Would you like to?” The affini stared at him, letting the walls of the apartment melt away from its perception, the bounds of reality fading as it took the time to ingrain this moment in its core, begging in a way it wasn’t even sure it understood that this memory would stay with it for eternity.
“I would petal. I would.”
The two simply sat there for an amount of time neither of them cared to track. As they did, Ben let the emotions coming off of Kassandria wash over him. He was aware he could feel something inside him change slowly as he did, but he didn’t really mind at the moment. Instead he tried to respond with emotion of his own, although it was rather like trying to move a body part he wasn’t even aware he had. As he tried to solve that puzzle, he broke the silence filling the room.
“Can I ask you something? Why haven’t you decided on your form right now? Is it something you change often?”
“Yes and no petal. While many another affini treat their forms much more malleably, I tend to be very restrictive with mine. However, every new bloom I decide a new shape I wish to take. This bloom has taken me quite a bit longer then usual.” It explained. It usually only took them a few years after reblooming to find a more constant shape, but this time it had been much longer for some reason.
“How do you usually decide?”
“Well actually, the first priority I have when choosing is making sure my body is pleasing to any floret I take. So dear, since you will soon be mine, why don’t you decide? I’ll still put in my input of course, but you shall be involved as well.” Ben looked up at them, thinking for a second, envisioning all the different ways they could be, the many different affini they had seen walking in the streets outside over the last two days.
“Can I be honest? I don’t want that.” Kassandria felt time skip a beat as true confusion ran through their thoughts.
“I’m sorry little one?”
“Listen, I have like, no clue who I am. I’ve been so busy just trying to survive that I never got the time to figure it out. I just kinda had to go along with what was decided for me. So I’m not gonna make you go along with what I decide for you. If I have to be your pet, I at least want to be the pet of someone who chooses to be what makes them happy, not just me.”
Kassandria was suddenly extremely glad it currently only had the most basic xenodrug grafts required of an affini preforming wellness checks, as that meant they did not have the means to take this sophont and utterly destroy every ounce of sadness and pain inside them. No, they truly would prefer to take their time in this instance, although that didn’t make holding back those instincts any easier.
“Well then, how about this petal. I shall help you discover who you are, and in return you shall help me discover the form that pleases me the most. Deal?” Ben smiled, the exhaustion he- no, it felt in its body fading slightly, as it realized it was in good hands. Or, vines it supposed.
“Deal.”