Chapter Text
The first time Feng Xin saw someone leave Mu Qing’s palace late at night, he didn’t think much about it. They were gods, after all. With no need for sleep, working hours became rather loose. Feng Xin himself had spent many nights working. Sure, he didn’t usually receive visits, but it wouldn’t be weird for that to happen.
The second time, Feng Xin did find it a little odd, but simply because the man who walked out seemed rather… pleased. Unusually pleased. And he was wearing disciple clothing, so not a god. Why would a disciple from another palace be at Mu Qing’s place so late at night?
Either way, he let it go. It was none of his business, after all.
But then, one day as he was leaving a meeting, he saw Mu Qing talking to the same disciple from before. He was trying to not make it obvious he was talking to him, but Feng Xin noticed it anyway.
And the man was just a little too close for comfort. Now, that Feng Xin found weird.
Mu Qing was never someone who liked being close to people. In fact, he had always been the type to keep his personal space very clear. Even when they were teenagers, the only person he saw Mu Qing being close with was Xie Lian, and even then, he never looked fully comfortable with it. So, for Mu Qing to be standing so close to a disciple, talking to him like that was usual, something must be wrong.
There was something wrong in that picture, and Feng Xin couldn’t look away from it. He had no idea why exactly, but it bothered him greatly.
Still, it was none of his business, so he kept quiet. His relationship with Mu Qing was an odd one. Even after Mu Qing had confessed he wanted to be friends a few months ago, they were still not fully on good terms. They had spent centuries fighting. That wasn’t going to change overnight. Even if they had established a kind of truce lately, Feng Xin couldn’t exactly say they were friends yet.
So, he didn’t ask Mu Qing about it. He left it alone, as he should, and went back to his duties.
And so Feng Xin went about his day. Even if it bothered him, he shouldn’t ask Mu Qing about it.
After a few weeks of nothing else happening, he decided to forget about it. And he was busy with missions anyway. It kept his mind off things.
That was until Ling Wen paired him up with Mu Qing for a mission on the border of their territories. A ghost was kidnapping and sacrificing people, especially women. There was no information about how he chose his victims or why he was sacrificing them, but he guessed it wouldn’t be hard to find out.
He and Mu Qing headed towards the town where the kidnappings were taking place as Fu Yao and Nan Feng. They didn’t speak a single word while heading there, and that was bothering Feng Xin, but still, he let it pass.
As soon as they arrived at the town, they decided they needed to pass as travelers, so they went to a restaurant. Waiters were always the ones who knew the most about gossip.
Feng Xin did almost all the ordering. They had known each other for long enough for Feng Xin to know what type of food the other man liked. He also ordered alcohol for himself. He didn’t drink often, but the dishes seemed rather spicy, and alcohol paired well with that.
When the food arrived, they ate mostly in silence, trying to hear gossip from other customers. But then, Mu Qing did something that surprised him so much he completely forgot what they were there for.
Mu Qing picked up a cup, filled it with wine, and drank it.
“What the hell?” he said. “Mu Qing, are you crazy? You can’t drink!”
He still remembered that one time Mu Qing mistakenly drank a sip of alcohol during the autumn festival. He had freaked out. So many curse words had come out of Mu Qing’s mouth that night. The usually so proper man had spent ten whole minutes dragging Feng Xin’s whole existence to hell.
So, why the fuck was he drinking now?
Mu Qing didn’t seem to care.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said simply, like it didn’t matter. “I felt like doing it today. The food is surprisingly good for such a rundown place.”
Feng Xin stared at him as he poured himself another cup.
“Are you sure you want to be drinking? We’re on a mission.”
“You’re drinking.”
“Yeah, but it’s different.”
Mu Qing drank one more cup and looked at Feng Xin with annoyance.
“How?”
“Well, I can actually take it.” Feng Xin argued. “I don’t get drunk with one cup.”
Mu Qing stayed quiet for a few seconds.
“I’m not like that anymore,” he said simply and provided no further explanation.
Feng Xin wanted to ask more, but the expression Mu Qing had on his face was not welcoming at all. It was clear that was the end of that conversation.
“Ok.” Feng Xin spoke carefully. “We should probably ask the waiter for some information. What are we going to tell her? What’s our backstory this time?”
Mu Qing sat back on his chair, thinking.
“Let’s just go for the usual. We’re cultivators looking for a job. That usually works.”
Feng Xin agreed.
The conversation with the waiter was a little confusing. She said that the townspeople had started disappearing a few weeks ago, mostly young women, but there had been a few male victims as well. It was also mostly young and unmarried people getting kidnapped. From the description of the victims, they didn’t seem to have much in common apart from their age and status. Furthermore, they didn’t know how the ghost was taking the victims. They just knew that people would disappear in their homes and then their bodies would show up the next day close to the entrance of the town, with markings and symbols carved into them. Unfortunately, the last body had been cremated by the family, so they couldn’t even see the symbols.
They paid and got out of the restaurant. Walking along the streets, he noticed that most people that they talked to seemed rather… nervous when asked about the victims. Feng Xin had no idea why.
“Ok, we’re getting nowhere like this.” Mu Qing said. “I’ve never seen a town full of shy people. You’re telling me no one here likes gossip?”
Feng Xin smiled teasingly.
“Oh, because you know a lot about that, don’t you?”
“Oh, shut up! I do not get involved in gossip.” Mu Qing said, looking away. “I simply think information is always good to have.”
“That’s why you have spies in my palace…”
Mu Qing kept walking.
“Like you don’t have some in mine as well.”
He didn’t. Feng Xin truly didn’t. But he liked to play along and pretend like he did just to keep Mu Qing on his toes. Maybe it would be a good idea. Honestly, he didn’t mind Mu Qing having spies in his palace. Maybe before, this knowledge would've pissed him off, but now, after knowing of Mu Qing’s desire for friendship, he can’t see the action in a bad manner. Mu Qing had always been a little schemy but never a bad person.
“So what do you think? Who should we talk to? We’re wasting time here.”
Mu Qing thought for a moment.
“Prostitutes.”
Feng Xin almost tripped on his feet.
“What?!”
Mu Qing looked at him and nodded.
“Prostitutes. They always have good gossip, and they are willing to talk for a good price.” Mu Qing said. “This town might be full of shy people, but I have never heard of a town without a brothel.”
Feng Xin looked at Mu Qing as he walked ahead confidently. What the actual fuck was up with him?
***
As it turned out, the prostitutes did have good gossip. Great gossip even. Feng Xin did have to be coaxed into walking into the brothel, but it went on fine. Mu Qing did the talking, however. He still felt nervous around women.
From what the lady had told them, one of the male victims had visited her one evening. He was a young man who had looked incredibly nervous when he entered the brothel (much like Feng Xin at the moment). He had actually paid her to take his virginity, but before anything could happen, he had gotten too nervous and run away. She said she found it cute at the time, but the next day he had been found dead.
When they left the brothel, they had a much clearer view of the profile of the victims. The ghost was clearly targeting virgins for some sort of ritual. That’s why most of the victims were young, unmarried women.
Feng Xin was debating where they should look for the ghost's hideout when Mu Qing spoke.
“It’s getting late. From the information we have, another victim will be taken tonight. We need to resolve this fast.”
When he looked at Mu Qing, Feng Xin was suddenly hit with a realization.
“Mu Qing!” he said.
The other man looked back at him, confused.
“What is it?”
“Don’t you think it’s best I deal with this alone?”
The other man’s expression immediately turned annoyed.
“And let you get all the merits for killing the ghost? Absolutely not!”
Feng Xin walked closer to him, looking around to see if there was anyone close by.
“That’s not what this is about.” He lowered his tone. “It’s just that… I think this mission might be a little dangerous for you.”
Mu Qing’s eyes practically started to burn from anger.
“Are you looking down on me, you brute?!” he screamed. “You think I can’t handle a simple ghost?”
“No! That’s not what I said. Don’t twist my words.” They hadn’t fought for a few months now, but Mu Qing was looking angrier by the second. “I just mean that with the… profile of the victims, maybe you should sit this one out.”
Mu Qing looked at him like Feng Xin had grown a second head.
“Feng Xin, what the hell are you talking about? What does the profile of the victims have to do with me?”
Mu Qing was so smart, but occasionally he really struggled in reading between the lines.
Feng Xin got closer and tried to whisper it.
“I just mean… with you being a virgin and all that… the ghost could try to take you.”
It took a few seconds for the other man to react. It was like the image had frozen still. Then he started walking again, but before he turned his head, Feng Xin saw how red his face was becoming.
“That won't be a problem.” He spoke quietly. Mu Qing was always very elegant, and he hated talking about indecent things.
“But it could be!” He said. “What if this ghost is more powerful than we think? We don't even know what these rituals are for.”
Mu Qing continued to walk, so Feng Xin had to quicken his pace to catch up to him.
“Like I said, that won't be a problem.”
“Mu Qing, you're not listening to me. Seriously, this could–”
Mu Qing turned around to face him and interrupted him abruptly.
“Nothing will happen, because I'm not a virgin!”
It took a second for Feng Xin to understand what he had just heard, but when he did, he felt like he was put into a whole different world.
“What do you mean you're not a virgin?!”
Mu Qing quickly put his hand over Feng Xin’s mouth.
“Shut up! I don't want everyone to hear.”
Feng Xin stared at him and pulled the hand away from his mouth.
“What the fuck?” He spoke more quietly. “What– Who– How… did that happen?”
Mu Qing’s face was redder than chili oil.
“Oh, well, I'm not gonna tell you the details, of course. That's personal.”
Feng Xin still couldn't wrap his head around what had just been said. He felt like everything he knew about the world was a lie.
“No, what I mean is… I just– I thought your cultivation method prohibited it.”
“It does.”
“Then how…”
“I broke my vows, of course.”
Who was this person he was looking at? Mu Qing would never do this. His cultivation was the one thing he valued most. It had given him everything he has today. If he had gotten here, it’d been because he was strong enough to make sacrifices. He worked hard for his cultivation.
“But why would you do that?”
“Because I wanted to.”
Feng Xin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It felt like he had just been launched into another universe, and this person in front of him was a stranger. He searched Mu Qing’s face for any indication that he was lying or playing some sort of prank on him. He had never been one to joke, but maybe this was his way of breaking the ice between them. Well, it was certainly an interesting way to do it. But there was nothing there. Mu Qing was serious. He was really serious. He had done…
For some reason Feng Xin felt… irritated. Angry, almost. He shouldn’t. This was none of his business. What Mu Qing did with his life was his own problem, and Feng Xin shouldn’t be feeling any different about this situation.
But, for some reason, there was this ugly feeling growing in his chest, and he couldn’t understand why or what exactly he was feeling. He only knew that he shouldn’t let Mu Qing notice it. It wouldn’t be fair to him.
“I– I never thought you would break your vows,” he said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Mu Qing looked at him with a confusing expression. Feng Xin didn’t know what to make of it.
“Why should I?” he said. “It’s not like we are really friends. We barely speak to each other.”
Feng Xin knew this, but somehow it still hurt to hear it coming from the other man’s lips.
“We could be.”
Mu Qing was silent for a few seconds.
“I suppose we could.”
That was enough for that moment. He still had questions he wanted to ask. He wanted to know who had done it, for example. In fact, the question was clouding his mind all the while they worked on the mission. Who had taken Mu Qing’s virginity? Feng Xin doesn’t remember any woman he was close to. Mu Qing has worked with some female gods in the past, but he had not seemed interested in any of them. Honestly, Mu Qing never seemed interested in anyone. But apparently, he did find people attractive. And there was someone out there that had gotten the chance to sleep with him and be his first.
Feng Xin forced the questions down. Mu Qing owed him nothing, especially not details on his personal issues.
***
The mission turned out simpler than they expected. Feng Xin really didn’t have to worry so much. It turned out that the ghost was pretty minor. He had been killing virgins, trying to make rituals to become more powerful, but he had no idea what he was doing, so none of the rituals had done anything significant.
It was pretty easy to find him and kill him. From what they had been told, all the bodies would show up at the entrance of the town, so all they had to do was look around the area to find him. When they found him, he had another victim locked up and was preparing the ritual. They killed the ghost, released the victim, and finished up the mission.
When they ascended back to the Heavenly Capital, Feng Xin wanted to invite Mu Qing for tea. He wanted to talk to him and try to become closer to him, after the conversation they had. But Mu Qing basically left immediately after ascending, heading towards his palace to write the report on the mission.
Feng Xin then headed back to his own palace in a somewhat sour mood. By the time they were done with everything, the sun was already showing. The capital was full of people walking around and doing their jobs. He also had work to do, but his mind was not in it. He couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation he had with Mu Qing the other night. He couldn’t stop his mind from imagining the other man with someone.
It was like his mind was infested with these thoughts.
Feng Xin needed to let out some steam. He needed to fight something.
And since Mu Qing was apparently avoiding him, he needed to go to someone else. Xie Lian was not one to spar. He only did it with Hua Cheng, and even then, no one should be there when it happened. Feng Xin didn’t dare to be even within the same palace when they were sparring.
So the only person left was Pei Ming. He was pretty much the only one who certainly would accept sparring with him.
***
Pei Ming was winning, the fucker. God, Feng Xin was struggling. Maybe it was the fact that he had just gotten back from a mission or the fact that his mind was distracted, but he wasn’t getting all his punches to hit. The other god didn’t seem to be in a much different situation. He was sweating buckets and breathing hard. At this point, they both had taken their shirts off.
“Ready to give up?” asked Pei Ming.
“I’m not you.” Feng Xin responded. “I’m not a coward.”
The fighting was turning more intense now. Both of them were eager to win and end this. Feng Xin felt himself get more tired, but he wouldn’t call it off; he would get to the end. He had always been prideful about his endurance during fights.
Pei Ming threw a punch, and Feng Xin dodged it, but barely.
“You went on a mission with Mu Qing yesterday, right?” Pei Ming asked. There was something about his tone that pissed Feng Xin off, for some reason.
“Yeah. It was a ghost causing trouble,” he answered anyway. “We took care of it.”
At this point, it was clear Pei Ming was headed in a direction that would piss him off. His tone was too sassy and slimy. He was trying to piss Feng Xin off so he would make mistakes.
“Heard it was hunting virgins.”
Feng Xin did not like where this was going.
“Good thing, neither of you had to worry about that.”
Feng Xin stopped. He stared at Pei Ming as he let his arms fall out of the fighting stance.
“What?” he asked. Hoping Pei Ming wasn’t talking about what he thought he was. “What do you mean by that?”
The other man didn’t seem intimidated or surprised by Feng Xin’s reaction. Quite the opposite, he looked rather amused by it. He tried to punch Feng Xin again, but he dodged once more, walking back to stare at the older man.
“I just mean that, since neither of you could’ve been targets, you wouldn’t have to worry about it,” he said. “Good thing Mu Qing got rid of that cultivation path. So outdated…”
Feng Xin knew Pei Ming was intentionally trying to get him out of his mind, but he still fell for it. Talking about Mu Qing was the one thing Feng Xin was sensitive about. And especially about this. This was personal.
“How do you know about that?” he asked. “I know Mu Qing didn’t tell you.”
Pei Ming then smiled slowly and looked right at Feng Xin’s eyes when he spoke again.
“It’s because I was there, of course.”
Feng Xin saw red. He had no idea what came over him; he just knew that the anger that filled him hearing those words made his body move before he could even think about his actions. He launched himself at Pei Ming, not pulling any punches. This wasn’t even a fight anymore. Feng Xin was going to fucking kill him. If his intention had been to stir him up, he certainly had been successful.
Pei Ming dodged the first few punches, but Feng Xin had gone feral. He used all his spiritual energy to make himself faster and more powerful. At some point, Pei Ming made a mistake, and that’s what cost him the fight. The first punch he connected served to disorient him. By the time Pei Ming regained his composure, Feng Xin hit him again, right across the face.
And then again. And again. Again.
He never waited for Pei Ming to recover or fight back. The other man’s face was quickly turning into a blotch of red.
He knew he should stop. This was not a fight anymore. Pei Ming was barely conscious. He should stop and walk away to avoid doing something stupid that would put him in a lot of trouble.
But the more he thought about what the other god said, the angrier he felt. And he couldn’t even understand why exactly. Why should he care Mu Qing had his first time with Pei Ming of all people? Why should he care that this manwhore had been the one to take Mu Qing’s virginity? It was none of his business. Mu Qing was free to have sex with whomever he wanted.
He shouldn’t feel this angry. He shouldn’t feel like a hole was opening inside his chest.
Feng Xin would’ve continued his attack on Pei Ming if he hadn’t been pulled away by someone. He tried to push the person away to continue, but then he was turned around, and he recognized the eyes staring at him in horror immediately.
It was like a bucket of cold water had been poured over his head. Mu Qing was staring at him, holding him in place. He looked terrified. Feng Xin looked back at Pei Ming and saw the man unconscious on the floor, with blood all over his face. He had no idea when that had happened. He hadn’t realized he had pushed the limits this badly.
“What the fuck did you do?” Mu Qing screamed. “What the actual fuck were you thinking?”
Feng Xin had no answer to that. His voice was gone, and his mind was a mess. He had no idea why he had done what he had done.
“Feng Xin, have you lost your fucking mind?” the other god asked. “You could be punished for this. Or worse, you could be banished!”
He couldn’t care less about the consequences. He just didn’t want Mu Qing to look at him this way anymore. He hated this terrified look on his face.
But it was all his fault.
“I just… I need to leave.”
Before Mu Qing could say anything in protest, he was walking away, heading towards his palace. His deputies asked questions when he stepped foot inside, but they were all ignored. He walked towards his room and then closed the door and locked it. Just to be sure he wouldn’t be bothered, he used a talisman to make sure no one would be able to get in.
What the fuck had he just done? If things were already difficult between him and Mu Qing, he might have just ruined it all.
But he couldn’t stop thinking about him and Pei Ming. Oh, fuck, it was Pei Ming of all people? Why did Mu Qing pick him? Why did it have to be him? All this time, Feng Xin had thought that Mu Qing had gone out with some female god, something at least nice and presentable. Someone who deserved his attention. It had bothered Feng Xin before, but not like this. This was just something he couldn't get over.
Pei Ming, the manwhore of all heavens, had been the one to touch Mu Qing, to do the one thing he had been saving for himself for 800 years. It was difficult to even imagine how that had happened.
Did Mu Qing really want that with Pei Ming? Was he manipulated into it? He must’ve been. There was no way in hell Mu Qing would choose Pei Ming to be the first person to have sex with him. No, this must’ve been some sort of scheme, some sort of manipulation. Pei Ming had done something to him.
Mu Qing had told him he wanted to break his vows. Did he really? Was this something he had truly wanted?
Feng Xin couldn’t tell what possibility made him feel worse: that Pei Ming might have manipulated Mu Qing into having sex with him or that Mu Qing wanted it and chose to do it with Pei Ming. Both options made Feng Xin feel horrible.
He didn’t even know Mu Qing liked men!
It was like he was seeing this whole new side of Mu Qing he had never seen before. Not only did Mu Qing apparently like men, he liked Pei Ming of all people!
Feng Xin laid down on his bed, still dirty from the fight, his hands covered in dried blood. He felt tired and confused. The feeling deep in his gut hurt, but he had no idea why.