Archive of Our Own

Missions ending in chaos weren’t uncommon for the league. Between the sheer number of unstable personalities and their less than legal escapades, things often didn’t go as planned. Once Spinner abandoned the notion that having a plan meant everyone would follow the plan, it got a lot easier for him to just roll with the punches. 

It still would have been nice if missions could go wrong in ways that were more annoying and less disastrous. Sadly, it seemed like, at least today, that wouldn’t be the case. Because apparently it didn’t matter how many times he told Tomura that comments about heteromorphs were just a fact of his life, he was still incapable of letting it go. 

He sighed as he watched the woman who had referred to him as ‘the league’s pet’ crumbled to dust under Tomura’s fingers. She hadn’t even had a chance to scream before her face was a mess of dust and blood staining Tomura’s hands. Spinner absolutely refused to acknowledge that such a brazen display of violence warmed his heart as much as it did. Instead, he focused on preparing himself for the inevitable retaliation from the others. 

He could see Compress readying himself for attack out of the corner of his eye as he drew his own sword and waited for the chaos to begin in earnest. 

“Bigoted scum.” Tomura spat as he wiped the remains of the little group’s leader on his coat. 

That seemed to be the final straw that broke the other possible recruits from their stillness. The four remaining villains all lunged at Tomura, none of them even considering that he wasn’t alone. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to dismiss out of hand, but Compress? Really? Maybe these guys really were too useless to join the league. 

Tomura was good, but four on one wasn’t a great match. He managed to get two of them down before he or Compress were able to get there with only minimal injuries, but as he turned to decay the third opponent, the last one caught him in the back with a beam of purple energy. He dropped like a sack of potatoes. 

Spinner barely had time to process that Tomura seemed slightly smaller than usual before Compress had swooped him up. The world turned upside down, and he crashed down onto the rounded glass floor of one of Compress’s marbles. He watched through the distortion of the marble as Compress grabbed their fallen, and definitely smaller, leader and made a run for it. He tossed a slab of concrete at the two remaining fighters to stop them from following as he made a mad dash for safety. Spinner could hear Compress’s particularly colorful brand of swearing as he cursed Kurogiri’s absence. 

Thankfully, the abandoned building the league was currently squatting in wasn’t too far. Compress managed to slip through back alleys and side streets quickly enough that there was no chance anyone could have followed him. He didn’t bother to signal at the door before slamming it open. 

Dabi and Magne were on their feet in seconds, quirks held and ready for a fight. No matter how many times Compress bubbled him, Spinner didn’t think he would ever get used to watching the world through the distorted blue glass of the marble. Hearing the slightly garbled voices of the other members of the league was even more disconcerting. 

Even through the garbling effect of the bubble, Spinner could hear Magne grilling Compress on what had happened and where the others were. He gave her a quick rundown of everything that had happened at the meeting, ending with the burst of energy that knocked Tomura to the ground. 

“So the boss was a fucking idiot, and he got himself shrunk?” Spinner could clearly hear the amusement in Dabi’s voice. The only reason Tomura had been on that mission at all was because he’d spent the previous night yelling at Dabi for burning all their potential allies. Between the failed meeting and the quirk accident, Spinner had a feeling their boss was never going to live this down. 

Compress seemed to come to the same conclusion. Sighing, he released his quirk, unbubbling Spinner and Tomura. No matter how many times he did it, Spinner never once managed to land on his feet when Compress released him. Something about the smooth surface of the glass made his quirk unstable enough that it always took him a second to recover. 

Tomura usually had no such issue. Spinner expected to look over and find a pissed off and smaller than usual Tomura already up and pacing the floor. But when he did look to check on the other man, he saw that he was sprawled out on the floor. His eyes were wide, and he was scratching at his neck in the way he only did when something was wrong. 

“Tomura? You good man?”

Tomura’s head snapped over to look at him. There was no recognition in his eyes as he looked at Spinner. There was no recognition in his eyes when he looked at any of them. The others had gone quiet too, seemingly noticing that something was wrong. Even Dabi stopped halfway through whatever overdramatic monologue he was building up to to stare at Tomura. 

The more Spinner looked, the more things he noticed that were odd. Tomura didn’t just look smaller. He looked younger. He’d never seen pictures of what he’d looked like as a kid, but there were so many small things that made him think this had to have been some kind of de-aging quirk. 

His hair was shorter, barely even covering his eyes. It also seemed… darker? There were little black streaks that broke up the usual pale blue. His hair wasn’t the only thing that had changed, either. His entire face looked different too. Rounder. More open. The guarded expression he constantly wore was gone. Replaced by a completely unmasked look of fear. 

Of course, his body was smaller too. His clothes hung off him. He shifted, and for a moment Spinner could see bruising across his chest. From the little bit he could see, it didn’t seem like the right shape to be from the fall, but he made a note to check later. If Tomura didn’t recognize them, he might not tell them he was hurt. He didn’t really have time to think about it too much before the silence shattered. 

Dabi burst out laughing. 

“Holy shit! Shigaraki got himself turned into a kid!” he said between bouts of manic laughter. He didn’t stop even when Magne slapped the back of his head and started shushing him. Her indignance only seemed to make him laugh louder. 

The sounds of laughter and yelling were enough to bring Toga and Twice running towards the sound of chaos. 

“What’s going on?” Toga asked as she skipped into the room, Twice following close behind her. She stopped dead in her tracks the second she saw Tomura. Twice had to pinwheel his arms to keep from crashing into her, and for a moment, Spinner could vividly see the younger version of their leader’s first impression of them being a goddamn three stooges act. At least it would be in character for them. 

“Ohmygod! Is that Tomura? He’s so tiny and cute and EEEE.” She was running at him before any of them could think to stop her. Tomura scrambled backward slightly, but he got tangled up in his adult version’s now very oversized clothes. Toga dropped to the ground directly in front of him and immediately started playing with his hair as she talked so fast, Spinner doubted Tomura would have had any idea what she was saying even if he wasn’t currently…. How old was he right now anyway? 

“Toga!” Magne yelled, momentarily ignoring Dabi, who was still cackling like the deranged hyena he was, to retrieve Toga. “You’re scaring him! He doesn’t recognize you right now.” 

Toga stopped messing with his hair as she looked down at Tomura. He was breathing heavily, and his eyes were flicking around the room wildly like he was looking for a threat. Not once did he let his eyes rest on Toga for more than a second or two. His hands were back at his neck, digging into the skin there. Spinner noticed with a pang that even as young as he was right now, there were already scars on his neck. As oblivious as Toga was, she could recognize that she was scaring him. 

She stopped touching him and backed off immediately. Spinner knew without even looking at her that Magne’s words had cut deeper than they had been meant to. Too many people she’d loved had been afraid of her throughout her life for it not to be a touchy subject. Twice put a hand on her shoulder and said something quiet while Magne slowly approached Tomura. He was still breathing heavily, but he seemed to be calming himself down a bit now that there was no one directly in his space.

“Hey, kid. My name’s Magne. Can you tell me yours?” She spoke calmly and quietly as she crouched down in front of him. She used her body to block his view of where Toga, Twice, and now Dabi were standing. He stayed quiet for long enough that Spinner started to wonder if he was going to talk at all. 

“Where’s Kurogiri?” 

Magne immediately shot Compress a look that had the magician fumbling for his phone and heading for the hallway. It was weird to see Compress fumble for anything. Maybe he was more shaken up than he was letting on. 

“Kurogiri isn’t here right now. One of my friends is gonna try to call him for you, but until then, can you tell me your name?” 

“I’m not supposed to go anywhere without Kurogiri unless Master is there.” His breathing picked up as he started to panic again. “I’ll be in trouble.” 

“Hey hey, it’s okay. You’re not gonna be in trouble. Kurogiri is just out running some errands. I promise All For One won’t be mad at you. We’re his friends.” She said, doing her best to give him a comforting smile. 

“He said I could be here?” He sounded suspicious, but at least some of the panic had started to clear up again. Spinner was just glad Magne had taken the lead on talking to him. He’d never been good with kids. 

“Yep. Everything is all okay. All For One told me you’re going to spend the day with us while Kurogiri is busy.” She lied seamlessly. Tomura nodded slowly, Magne’s warm demeanor and reassurance seemingly enough to convince him he was alright. 

“My name is Tomura Shigaraki. I’m All For One’s successor.” Some of Tomura’s usual confidence bled into his voice when he declared himself All For One’s successor. Even as young as he was right now, it was obvious he was proud of his position. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Shigaraki. My name is Magne. The rest of the people here are my friends.” She went down the line, pointing everyone out and telling Tomura their names. Spinner was just glad that Magne had been able to put him a bit more at ease. He even seemed less freaked out around Toga as long as she stayed out of his space. Compress came back in right as Magne finished off her little introduction speech. 

Spinner never understood how Compress managed to be so expressive from under the mask he always wore, but one look at him showed that he hadn’t been able to get a hold of Kurogiri. 

“Alright hon,” Magne said, clapping her hands. “You and I are gonna hang out just the two of us while everyone else talks about grown up stuff. Does that sound good?” He still looked a bit suspicious, but he nodded anyway. 

Everyone else was able to take the hint and find a different room where they could figure out how they were going to fix this. Toga protested slightly, saying she wanted to hang out with Tomura, but Dabi just grabbed her arm and hauled her along with him. She pouted, but she let herself be dragged away. 

The second they were out of the room, Compress was already making excuses to leave. Spinner knew from a couple of particularly booze laden nights that Compress didn’t like kids, but he hadn’t expected him to act like they were actively radioactive. Whatever. Compress would probably be their best bet to track down the people who had attacked them anyway. If he could get information about whatever this quirk was, maybe they could figure out how to reverse it or at least give themselves a timeline on how long it was going to last. 

Compress made his escape with little fuss beyond a comment from Dabi about him being a coward. It was probably good that he left. The less people there to overwhelm Tomura, the better. By the time Compress was out the door, Toga was practically vibrating with excitement. 

“Do you guys think he likes soft things? Oh! I could bring him some of my plushies. He’s so little and cute, I bet he would love them.” She was running towards her room before any of them could get a word in edgewise. 

With Toga and Compress gone, none of the rest of them really knew what to say. 

“So…the boss is a kid.” Twice said. “We can entertain a kid for a few hours until Compress gets back. No we can’t! It’ll be fine. Total disaster.” 

“Twos is right. He’s what, nine? We can just lock his ass in a room if he gets up to too much trouble.” Spinner didn’t bother pointing out that Decay didn’t have an age limit. Dabi knew. He was just an asshole. 

“Come on Dabi, he’s still our boss. Fuck them kids!” 

“Whatever,” Dabi shrugged, “This is by far the most embarrassing thing Crusty has ever done, and I’m not letting this opportunity go to waste because Lizard Face over here is paranoid about his dusty ass boyfriend.” 

With that, he turned on his heel and headed back towards where Magne and Tomura were. 

Spinner sighed. Maybe Dabi was right. As much as he hated to ever admit that Dabi was right about anything ever, it did seem like this was going to be more of a nuisance than anything else. There was no point in freaking out. Compress would be back with answers in a few hours. They could keep a kid entertained until then. 

He followed after Dabi and Twice, who were already heading back towards the main room where they had left Magne and Tomura. The second Magne saw him, she was on her feet and making a beeline for him

“Dabi, watch Shigaraki. Make sure no one gets in any trouble. Me and Spinner need to talk.” She didn’t bother to listen for a response as she grabbed his arm and physically hauled Spinner into the hallway with her. A glance over his shoulder showed Tomura watching them leave, a confused look on his face. He didn’t have a chance to think much about it before Magne was yanking him into the hallway and slamming the door. 

The second the door was closed, Magne seemed to sag a little, as if all the air had been let out of her. 

“Mags, what the hell happened? I thought–” 

“Does Shigaraki ever talk to you about his childhood?” She interrupted. Her eyes looked wild, and there was a tinge of desperation in her voice. 

“What? I mean kind of. He told me the important stuff. He just doesn’t really like to talk about it. Why? Did something happen?” Spinner could feel his own anxiety starting to spike as Magne began to pace up and down the hall. 

“What about All For One? Did he tell you about All For One?” 

All For One? 

“Yeah, I mean some. He was basically his only human contact other than Kurogiri before he started the league. From everything Tomura’s said, he seems like a dick.” 

Magne let out a choked, humorless laugh that did nothing to calm Spinner’s nerves. 

“Magne, please, tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.” 

“I can’t. If– if he didn’t tell you, then I can’t– it’s not– I shouldn’t–” She was breathing hard by this point, and Spinner was starting to wonder if he was going to have to figure out how to talk her down from her own panic attack. 

“Magne!” Spinner grabbed her by the shoulders. “Please, I know you’re trying to respect Tomura’s privacy, but I can't do anything if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” 

“I think All For One was hurting him.” Her voice was quiet, and she wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

Ah. That was what this was about. Tomura didn’t talk about his time with All For One very often, but Spinner had seen the scars that littered his body from his ‘training’. But none of that was really a secret. They all knew All For One was a bastard. 

“Yeah. All For One was an abusive bastard.” Spinner said, trying to mimic the voice Magne had used to calm Tomura down earlier. “But we already knew that. Besides, he’s in Tartarus. He can’t do anything anymore.”

“Did you see his chest?” 

“What?” 

“Did you see them?” 

“Magne, what are you talking about? The only thing I saw was some bruising. He probably got it from the fall after he got quirked.” 

“Those aren’t bruises, Spinner. They’re hickeys.” 

It felt like someone had hit him. All the blood drained from his face, and it felt like his heart had stopped. That couldn’t be right. If All For One had hurt him like that, Tomura would have told him. Their relationship may have been fairly new, but they trusted each other. Tomura had told him about Hana and the others. About that night in the garden when his quirk had manifested. Tomura trusted him. There was no way he would keep something like that from him.

“That… no. No, you must have seen wrong. Or… or maybe they’re marks from his adult body that just stayed where they were.” Tomura would have told him. He would have. They trusted each other.  Magne must have seen wrong. Nothing else made sense. 

“Spinner–” 

“No, Magne you don’t understand. He– he would have said something.” He would have. Because what did it mean if he didn’t? 

“He fucking did, Spinner. All I saw was the edge, and I thought–” She took a shaky breath. “I asked if he was hurt, and he told me what that bastard did to him and… and… Fuck. Fuck! He asked me if I was going to do the same.” 

The world was spinning, and Spinner had to look down to make sure the floor was still there. 

“Why would he–”

“Because I told him All For One sent us!” Her voice broke. “I told him that we were with him. That we were his friends.” 

Spinner couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. He knew he was hyperventilating, but he couldn’t stop. 

“He wasn’t even scared.” Her voice sounded distant, like she wasn’t really talking to him anymore. “It was like he was asking me the weather. Fuck Spinner, he asked me if I was going to rape him like it meant nothing at all. Like it was normal.” 

“Stop! Mags please. Please just stop.” He couldn’t think about that. Not right now. Not without losing it entirely. 

Neither of them spoke for a long time. It was so quiet that they could just barely hear the sound of Toga bustling around and explaining something inane to the others. Maybe it was his imagination, but he could have sworn he heard that sound of a child laughing. 

“What are we supposed to do?” Magne looked like she was ready to collapse. Her shoulders were slumped, and she wouldn’t look at Spinner. 

“I don’t know, Mags.” He couldn't tear his eyes away from the door at the end of the hallway. Tomura was just behind it. All of them were. 

“How am I supposed to go back there? He thinks I’m gonna hurt him. God he– he’ll never forgive me. This quirk is going to wear off, and he’ll never be able to look at me again.” Spinner barely heard her talk over the rushing in his own ears. 

He hadn’t known. 

How could he not have known? 

There had to have been signs. Was he just too stupid to pick up on them? Was he too useless to be able to tell that the man he loved was hurting? How was he ever supposed to look Tomura in the eyes again when he had failed at something so important? No wonder Tomura didn’t trust him. No wonder he hadn’t told him. 

“We can’t leave him alone.” His voice sounded hollow even to himself. “He– he wouldn’t want the others to know. We have to be there. To–” To what? Keep him quiet? “We just have to be there.” 

He needed to be there. Maybe if he could protect him now, it would make up for every sign he’d missed, and every time he’d failed him. It didn’t matter that the idea of going into that room made him want to break down. To drop to the ground and pull Tomura into his arms and tell him he was sorry and that it would be okay. 

Spinner forced his feet to move. To carry him back to that room. He could vaguely hear Magne’s footsteps behind him, but he couldn’t really focus on them. 

The lively noise of the makeshift living room they had set up felt wrong. Toga, Twice, and a young Tomura were all sitting on the floor. Someone, probably Toga, had used a hairband to hold some of the extra fabric from his too big clothes out of the way. It seemed to make it easier for him to maneuver as Toga showed him all the little toys and trinkets she had bought or stolen during her time with the league. Twice was nodding along so enthusiastically, Spinner vaguely wondered if he would hurt himself 

Tomura seemed particularly fascinated by a little rabbit plush Spinner had seen on Toga’s bed a few times. When Toga noticed him looking at it, she excitedly told him its name was Usagi and that she’d found it in a park before she’d joined the league. When she was done talking, Tomura moved to pick it up. He was so slow. Like he expected the little rabbit to be snatched away or disappear before his eyes. When he finally picked it up, Toga and Twice both cheered like he’d just won the lottery.  As he rubbed the cloth ears of the little rabbit, his eyes lit up with wonder.

Tomura had mentioned that he never really had toys growing up. He’d said All For One didn’t want him distracting himself with childish items. At the time, he’d remembered being pissed on Tomura’s behalf. He had been a goddamn kid. What the hell kind of guardian didn’t let their kid have something as simple as a stuffed animal? Now it was just one more piece of a puzzle Spinner hadn't even known existed. 

The sound of a camera shutter pulled Spinner from his thoughts. Dabi was grinning like a maniac behind his phone. Spinner couldn’t see the screen, but he knew from where the phone was pointing that he must have been taking pictures of Tomura. 

“Oohhh! Dabi, you should get a picture of all of us! Tomuchan looks so cute with Usagi, doesn’t he Dabi? They’re both so little and cute!” 

“Oh yeah.” Dabi snorted, “Kid’s adorable.” 

Toga gestured for Tomura to show off the little stuffed bunny in his hands while Toga threw up a peace sign and beamed at the camera. Twice made some face that Spinner couldn’t describe and shot finger guns at Dabi. It took Tomura a second to look at both of them, but when he saw what they were doing, he smiled too. It was more reserved than the other two, but it looked real. 

This was good. He could do this. All he had to do was make sure today was as good as possible. It was the least he could do. 

“Dabiiiii, you should come take a picture with us! It can be all four of us.” 

“Well shit Vamps, guess you’ve got some good ideas after all.” Toga stuck her tongue out at him for the nickname. Dabi flipped her off. It was all so normal. 

How could it all be so normal? 

Dabi dropped onto the floor next to the two of them, flipping the camera on his phone around to get a selfie of all of them. Then Dabi grabbed Tomura by the waist and pulled him into his lap. And suddenly his smile was gone.  

“Say cheese, kid.” The camera clicked, and Tomura froze. It was like someone had flipped a switch in him. His entire body stiffened like he’d been shocked before, before he immediately went limp. He let his head loll backwards against Dabi’s chest as he closed his eyes. Spinner saw the moment Dabi noticed the change, but by then it was too late. 

Magne made a sound somewhere between a sob and a scream as she launched herself at Dabi. The only thing that kept her from colliding with him was Toga darting out in front of her. 

“Big Sis! What’s wrong!” Toga sounded frantic as she tried to get Magne to calm down enough to answer. Spinner knew he should do something. He should move. He should pull Tomura away. Bring him somewhere safe. There was so much he could do, but he didn’t do any of it. All he did was watch. 

“Leave him alone!” Magne practically shrieked as she tried to force her way around Toga to get at Dabi. “Don’t you fucking dare touch him!” Spinner hadn’t even seen Twice move, but in a second, he was next to Toga, trying to get Magne calmed down enough to speak. Neither of them seemed to be having much success.

“I–” Dabi started, but no words followed it. By then, Twice and Toga had gotten Magne to calm down enough that she didn’t seem actively murderous anymore. That still would have been better than the broken cry she let out as she sank to the ground. It seemed like Magne had finally reached her breaking point. 

“Big Sis, what happened?” Toga was still trying to get Magne to speak. All she managed was a wordless sob. 

“I think Miss Magne is sad because me and Dabi are going to have special time together. She got really sad when I told her about when me and Master did it.” There was so little emotion in his voice. He was just stating a fact. Something so normal it didn’t deserve an emotional response. 

The only sound in the room was Magne's quiet cries and the sound of Spinner's knees hitting the ground. Whatever force had been keeping him upright until then broke as he sank down to the floor. He was so fucking weak. He couldn’t do anything, and in that moment, all he wanted to do was let the earth swallow him whole. As if somehow that would lessen the shame of his failures. 

“What?” 

Dabi’s voice was so strangled it was almost unrecognizable as his. There was no mirthful sarcasm or lazy smile this time. He looked like Spinner felt. As if the floor had opened beneath him and tried to swallow him. 

“Mister Dabi? Why aren’t you moving? Did I do something wrong?” This time, a hint of fear colored Tomura’s voice.

Even from halfway across the room, Spinner could feel the air get hotter at Tomura’s words. 

“Oh. I understand.” Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Tomura turned in Dabi’s lap to face him. One hand went to his neck, digging into the flesh once more. The other hesitated in the air. Then, with one small, shaky breath, Tomura reached for the zipper on Dabi’s jeans. 

In the blink of an eye, Dabi had shoved Tomura away and scrambled to his feet. He was breathing heavily as he stared down at Tomura’s tiny form in abject horror. Spinner could feel waves of heat coming off him as he fought to regain control of his quirk. All the while, Tomura just watched him. 

“What are you doing?” Dabi could barely get the words out as he fought to get his breathing under control. His eyes never leaving Tomura. 

“Sometimes Master likes it when I start. He says it’s how he knows I love him. He doesn’t like wearing his clothes when we’re together, and he’s always so happy when I remember to help him take them off. He says I’m going to be a leader someday, and leaders have to take in-ish-shu-tive.”

Spinner felt sick. His stomach roiled at Tomura’s words, and he tried to force the images they brought to mind out of his head. 

“Sometimes Master wants me to take my clothes off first. Do you want that, Mister Dabi?” 

“No! No, I don’t want–” Dabi’s voice cracked as he backed up even further, trying to put as much distance between himself and the child in front of him as he could. He was still clutching his phone in his hands, seemingly having forgotten he was holding it. It started to smoke as Tomura kept talking. 

“You don’t have to be scared. Master says I shouldn’t be scared. He said it was okay, and it wouldn’t hurt as long as I was good. It– it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t. As long as I’m good, Master won’t hurt me. He loves me.” The only sound in the room was Tomura’s nails as they began to dig into his skin in earnest. Spinner distantly wondered if the scratches would stay on his body after the quirk wore off. 

A sob broke through the quiet of the room. They all turned to find Toga had curled in on herself. Twice was holding her against his chest as she tried to bite down on her hand to muffle the sound of her cries. Magne was still on the ground next to them. It didn’t look like she had moved since Tomura had started talking. Her tears had dried up as she stared into the distance. The only sign she was even alive was the slight rise and fall of her chest. 

“You have to stop crying. You’ll be in trouble if Master catches you crying. He– He’ll be angry.” A hint of panic colored his voice as he continued, “You–You have to stop. Please stop. Please.” The skin beneath his nails finally split as he began to hyperventilate. “Please stop. You were so nice, and he’ll be so angry. He’ll have to punish you.”

Spinner watched as Toga tried desperately to muffle her own sobs. Her teeth dug so deeply into the skin of her hand that Spinner could see blood seeping from the bite marks. None of it was any use. Tears kept rolling down her cheeks, and the longer she cried, the more panicked Tomura became.

Before Spinner could force his mind back to the present enough to think of something to do, Twice was on his feet half dragging half carrying Toga towards the hallway. The second the door was closed, Toga let out a wail so loud it felt like it shook the foundation of the building. Maybe it had. Maybe the weight of everything that had happened would bring the building down around them. Maybe it would bring the whole world down. 

A single tear slipped down Tomura’s face as he watched Toga and Twice leave. The second he noticed it, his face morphed into a look of terror so intense it took Spinner’s breath away. 

“No no nononono,” Tomura whispered to himself as he curled inward. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I won’t cry. I’ll be good. Please, I'm so sorry. I can stop. I can. Please don’t– I’ll be better. Please, I can be better.”

The waves of heat rolling off Dabi reached a crescendo. Flames began to lick down his arms, and the remains of his phone liquified in his hand. Through the light of the fire, Spinner could just barely see trails of blood dripping down his face.

“I– I have to go.” Dabi croaked, his voice barely intelligible through the smoke pouring from his mouth. He dashed for the door. Spinner felt flames singeing his clothes as Dabi ran past him. The heat was enough to break his trance. 

Tomura needed help. 

“Tomura.” He forced the word out past lips made of lead. “It’s okay… You’re not in trouble.” He forced his legs to move him forward. The journey to where Tomura lay curled on the floor felt like it took hours. His body screamed when he dropped down next to the still crying child. He found the rabbit Tomura had been holding abandoned on the floor nearby.

Slowly, he pushed the stuffed animal closer, taking care to make sure no part of him touched Tomura. 

“Why don’t we watch a movie?” His voice creaked, and he felt like he was trying to fight off a tsunami with a bucket, but the words finally made Tomura look up. 

“A movie?” 

“Yeah. We can watch anything you want. You can cuddle up with all of Toga’s stuffed animals, and we’ll get you anything you want. What…what do you want?” 

“Kurogiri lets me watch Totoro when Master is busy sometimes. Can we watch that?” 

“Of course.” Spinner choked out the words as memory hit him like a brick. The night after All For One had been captured, Tomura had come to his area of the warehouse they had eventually crashed in. He’d been completely silent as he curled up next to Spinner. He didn’t speak a word that entire night; he’d just pulled up a movie on his phone and watched it in silence. It was the first time Spinner had ever seen Totoro. 

He couldn’t stop his hands from shaking as he found the remote. The music of the opening credits began to play softly through the speakers as Spinner thought back to that night. He’d been so stupid. Maybe if he’d just asked Tomura what was wrong, he could have done something. Maybe he could have been the support Tomura so desperately needed that night. Instead, he’d just sat there while he suffered. Just like now. 

He tried not to flinch away at the soft pressure against his side. Tomura leaned against him, his eyes fixed on the screen like it was the best thing he’d ever seen. Spinner tried to force the tears back, but as he looked down at the tiny mop of blue hair resting against his arm, he couldn’t stop them from falling. He just hoped Tomura wouldn’t notice them. 

He didn’t know how long they sat there. Eventually, Magne shifted to sit next to him. Neither of them spoke. They just stared off at the TV and listened as Tomura’s breathing slowly evened back out. Spinner barely registered the knock they used to signal arrival. He didn't bother to turn his head when the door swung open, and Compress came in. 

He could hear Magne moving next to him, likely going to explain everything that had happened while Compress was out gathering information. The sounds of yelling and something breaking against a wall a few moments later confirmed his suspicion. Thankfully, Magne was able to get him quieted down before his anger could spook Tomura. He was still so jumpy after breaking down earlier. 

By the time Magne came back, the movie had ended, and, on Tomura’s request, Spinner had started it over again. She sat back down next to him, and for a while they just watched the movie in silence. 

“He’ll be back to normal by tomorrow morning. The quirk only lasts until the subject enters REM sleep.” 

Spinner couldn’t help the broken little laugh that bubbled out of him. All they would have had to do was convince Tomura to take a nap, and none of this would have happened. He wouldn’t have had to relive the worst moments of his life in front of all of them. It was too late now. Every secret Tomura had spent his life keeping had been laid bare for all of them to see. 

“Tomura. It’s time for bed.” Spinner said, not bothering to keep the weariness from his voice. Spinner had never spent much time around kids, but he knew that most would ask to stay up. To finish the movie. Tomura didn’t. He just stood up and followed Spinner up to their room. He only noticed when they had made it into their room that Tomura was still holding Toga’s stuffed rabbit. The second Tomura saw where he was looking, he dropped his eyes. 

“I didn’t mean to take it. I’ll go put it back.” 

“You should keep it. I know Toga would want you to have it if it makes you happy.” Anything to give him even a shred of normalcy. Of safety. 

Tomura looked at him for a long moment before finally nodding slowly. He crawled up onto the bed they’d shared so many times before. Spinner expected him to sprawl out in the middle; it was what adult Tomura always did, but instead, he moved off to one side before turning to look at Spinner expectantly. Like he was waiting for something. He hadn’t realized he could feel any worse, but as Tomura stared at him, waiting for him to get in bed with him, he felt his stomach turn violently.  

It didn’t matter that his logical mind knew Tomura didn’t recognize him. It didn’t matter that he’d already witnessed the type of treatment he expected to receive. All that mattered was that Tomura was looking at him like he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. For Spinner to hurt him like he’d been hurt so many times before. 

“I’m not– I–” He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath to try to settle himself. “I’m going to sleep right here on the floor. That way, you can wake me up if you need anything.” He did his best to force a reassuring smile onto his face. 

“Kurogiri likes to sleep on the floor too. Maybe you guys can sleep on the floor together when he comes back.” 

“Yeah. Maybe.” 

Spinner wouldn’t so much as close his eyes until he heard Tomura’s breathing grow deep and even with sleep. His mind wanted to stay awake. To make sure that no matter what came through that door, Tomura would have someone there to protect him. But his body was exhausted from the stress of the day, and before long his mind drifted away into a fitful, dreamless sleep. 

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆｡ﾟ  ･──

Spinner awoke slowly. There was some repetitive noise pulling at the edges of his sleep addled brain, but he wasn’t quite awake enough to place it. He turned to roll over, maybe wrap his arms around Tomura and try to go back to sleep, but when he did so, he didn’t feel the mattress dip with his movements. The surface below him, the floor his mind supplied, didn’t give at all. 

Why was he on the floor? Where was–

Spinner sat bolt upright, the events of the previous day hitting him all at once as his brain finally placed the noise. He turned to find Tomura hunched over in their bed, the sound of nails breaking as they ripped through skin the only noise in the room besides Tomura’s rapid breathing. The smell of iron filled the air as Tomura stained the sheets red. 

“Tomura I–” Spinner reached out to place a hand on his shoulder as he’d done so many times before. But this wasn’t like all those times before. He feared the day before had ripped open old wounds, and one night wasn’t nearly enough to scar them back over again. Not when every action had rubbed salt in them again. He snatched his hand back before it could make contact with Tomura, but it was already too late.

Tomura flinched so hard he almost fell off the bed when Spinner reached for him. His eyes were wild and unseeing, passing over Spinner like he wasn’t there. A sound somewhere between a whimper and a scream broke from Tomura’s lips as he pulled his hands close to his chest. His hands curled so tightly into fists that his knuckles had begun to turn white.

Stupid. How could he have been so goddamn stupid? 

“I’m sorry I didn’t–” 

“No– no don’t. You can’t… No no you have to stop.” Tomura’s breathing picked up even more, and all Spinner wanted to do was find some way to make it better. To pull Tomura away from whatever awful place his mind had forced him back into. To somehow get rid of the distant fear that kept him from truly seeing what was happening. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have watched. Tomura didn’t even really know he was there, too far away to notice the other person in the room. Maybe it would have been better if Spinner had turned away. Offered him some semblance of privacy as he tried to put himself back together. But he didn’t. Because what if he turned away the moment Tomura needed him? 

Tomura’s nails dug into his neck again, reopening still oozing cuts and causing new blood to flow over old. Spinner wanted to reach forward and pull his hands away, but he knew better than to take away the only thing keeping Tomura together right now. He’d admitted once that the scratching was something that brought him comfort. The damage it did was something he could control. Knowing that didn’t make it easier to watch the blood begin to run down Tomura’s arms, even as his breathing began to slow. The wild, panicked look in his eyes was replaced with something else. Something Spinner couldn’t quite recognize. 

For the first time since he’d woken up, Tomura seemed to really focus on Spinner. Like he was only just now noticing he was there. 

“Shuichi?” Tomura asked, his voice so much smaller than Spinner had ever heard it. 

“Yes. Yes, I’m here. I’m right here, I–”

“I can’t be here. I–I have to go.” 

He moved to make a dash for the door, and panic exploded in Spinner’s mind. He was gonna leave. He was gonna run away, and they were never gonna be able to find him again, and Spinner would never be able to do anything to help him ever again. He didn’t think. He just reached out, snatching Tomura by the arm and yanking him away from the door. By the time he realized what he’d done, it was already too late. 

“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!” Tomura screamed, the arm Spinner hadn’t grabbed, coming at Spinner in an open handed grab. He barely managed to jump back in time before Tomura’s hand could connect with flesh and begin to destroy it. Instead, Tomura’s swing went wide, his hand connecting with the lamp that sat on the cardboard box they used as a bedside table. The lamp was dust before it even hit the floor. 

The momentary lucidity Tomura had managed was gone. All that was left was terror and the rage he desperately tried to use to cover it. 

Tomura let out a scream more animal than human as he lunged. Spinner just closed his eyes, expecting to feel the bite of decay as Tomura collided with him. If that was his fate, then he would accept it. But there was no impact. No pain as decay began to spread. Instead, there was just a dull thump and the familiar feeling of dust landing on his skin. 

He cracked his eyes open to see that the wall Tomura had thrown himself at was mostly gone. The drywall had turned gray and fallen away in rough circles around where each of Tomura’s hands had touched it. Before Spinner could fully focus on the destruction in front of him, Tomura was moving again. Another broken scream left him as he grabbed hold of the one small table in the room, the TV that rested on it crashing to the ground as the table disappeared beneath Tomura’s hand. 

Spinner watched as the room around him turned to dust under the weight of Tomura’s agony. Every place Tomura’s hand so much as grazed fell into piles of gray powder on the floor. All Spinner could do was stay out of the way and watch as the little home they had built together turned to dust. The shitty TV and console they used for gaming were nothing but dust and broken plastic on the floor. The bed they’d shared for the past few months was gone. By the time Tomura was done, nothing of their room remained.

As Spinner looked at the decayed ruin that had once been their bedroom, he wondered if maybe this was the end. Now the final tangible piece of the life they had built together was gone, and Spinner wondered if there would be anything left of them to fix.  

He wouldn’t blame Tomura if there wasn’t. He couldn’t imagine Tomura wanting anything to do with him after this. How could he? All he’d done was stand there stupidly and watch as Tomura revealed every secret he’d ever kept in front of people he had just barely started to allow himself to trust. He had utterly failed to protect him, and now he expected forgiveness? No. He didn’t deserve that. 

Spinner just watched as Tomura realized there was nothing left to destroy. He watched as his screams of rage turned to cries so quiet he almost couldn’t hear them. The only outward sign of his grief the tears that cut trails through the dust on his cheeks. He watched as Tomura grew still. He wanted to reach out. To do something, anything to make this better. But what could he do? 

Why was it that he never knew how to help when Tomura needed him most? Why was it that he could never do anything to help the people he loved? 

All of a sudden, Tomura collapsed. It was like his bones had just decided not to hold him up anymore. Like even his own body had failed him when he needed it most. He knew that his presence would likely do nothing to stop whatever memories ran so close to the surface right then, but he couldn’t leave him alone. He may be useless, but he wouldn't abandon Tomura. Not if there was even a chance it would help, Spinner would do it. 

Cautiously, he moved from his spot against the only mostly intact wall to sit down next to Tomura. His fingers ached with the need to reach out. To soothe, but he didn't dare try. He knew words were all he could offer, but they wouldn’t come. 

He knew better than to try to touch him right now, even though his heart ached with the need to comfort him. He knew words were all he could offer, but in that moment, sitting on the floor of the decayed ruins of their bedroom, there was nothing to say. No matter how hard he tried, the words just wouldn’t come. Because nothing he said would ever feel like enough. There were no words that could fill the gaping chasm that separated them. 

“Tomura I–” His words were cut as Tomura threw himself at him. The air rushed from his lungs as Tomura’s shoulder connected with his stomach. For a moment, he wondered if Tomura had finally come back to himself enough to realize what a failure Spinner was. Maybe this was the beginning of Tomura’s attempt to end his worthless life for all the ways he’d betrayed him by never being enough. If that was what Tomura wanted, then he would accept his fate. 

But no other impacts followed. Instead, Tomura wrapped his arms around Spinner in a facsimile of a hug and cried. He was absolutely silent. The only evidence of his tears the shaking of his shoulders and the steadily growing wet patch near Spinner’s shoulder. It was the cry of a child who knew their tears would be punished, not wiped away. 

Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe he shouldn’t have done anything to push Tomura, but as his partner clung to him while he cried, he couldn’t just sit there. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around Tomura. Watching like a hawk for even the slightest hint that this was too much. But instead of shoving him away or panicking, Tomura again just slumped further into his arms, a small broken gasp the only sound he made. 

He didn’t know how long they sat there. Sometime during the chaos, Spinner had begun to rub small circles into Tomura’s back. He didn’t really know if it helped more than just being there for Tomura and letting him cry, but it allowed him to do something. To find some small way to help take such an unbearable burden off Tomura’s shoulders for as long as he could.

“Why?” 

The word was said so quietly that Spinner almost didn’t hear it. 

“Why what?” His own response was barely above a whisper. 

“Why are you still here?” Tomura’s speech was slightly muffled by Spinner’s shirt, but he refused to so much as shift to hear him better.

“I love you.” It felt obvious to Spinner. It wasn’t even the first time he’d said it, but all Tomura did in response was laugh. A small choked sound that lacked any of the right emotions. 

“No you don't. Not anymore. You can’t. Not now that you know what I did. What I am.” 

“Nothing’s changed. You’re still you. I don’t care what he did to you, you’re still the same person, and I still–” 

“No.” For the first time, Tomura pulled his head away from Spinner’s shoulder. He still wouldn’t look at him. “I don’t want your lies or your fucking pity. I know damn well you don’t want some filthy whore who–” His breath caught. “I’m too dirty to love.”  

“Tomura, stop.” His voice broke. “Please just stop. You’re not dirty. Nothing about you is dirty. What he did to you wasn’t your fucking fault, and it doesn’t change anything!” 

“You saw what I did. I wanted it. You know I did.” 

“NO YOU FUCKING DIDN’T!” The yell caught both of them by surprise, but it seemed to finally be enough to make Tomura look at him. “You were a goddamn child! It wasn’t your fault. You were scared and alone, and you reached out for help, and instead of helping you, he fucking raped you!” 

Any emotion Tomura had allowed onto his face was gone the second the words were out of Spinner’s mouth. 

“He didn’t… What he did wasn’t… it wasn’t that.” 

“Yes. It was. You were a child. It doesn’t even matter if you said you wanted it. Or if it felt good or special or anything else. All that matters is that you were 9 goddamn years old and he was a grown man that was supposed to protect you.” 

“No. No, he loved me.” 

“Tomura… that wasn’t love. People who love their children don’t hurt them like that.” 

“Yes it was! It has to be! He saved me, Shuichi. He was the only one who ever cared. The only one who ever helped me. If it weren’t for him, I would have starved on the streets because no one else could be bothered to even look at me!” Spinner could hear the desperation practically dripping from every word. 

Spinner tried to find the words. To figure out what he could do to just make Tomura listen. To make him understand. 

“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. 

“No.” He watched tears gather in Tomura’s eyes again. “No, you don’t understand. He loved me. He did. He–” Tomura’s voice broke as the tears poured down his cheeks. He curled in on himself just like he had the night before. His hands tucked in against his stomach as he fought desperately to regain control of himself. Even back in his adult body, all Spinner could see was the image of a child afraid to cry. 

This time, when Spinner pulled Tomura into his lap, his sobs didn’t stay silent. It seemed the last of his energy had been expended, and whatever fear that had been beaten into him as a child was replaced by sheer exhaustion as the tears poured out once again. This time, they were accompanied by gasping sobs as Tomura desperately tried to reconcile the actions done to him with the man he so clearly still cared about. 

“If he didn’t love me, then no one did.”

This time, Spinner refused to let the silence that followed those words consume him. He refused to let Tomura suffer alone in his own mind while he stood by silently. Words poured from his mouth, quite affirmations and apologies that he meant with his whole heart. He didn’t know if Tomura believed him. He hoped maybe if he said them enough times, maybe somehow they would break through the walls he had put up in his mind. He didn’t know if it had really worked, but this time when Tomura spoke, it wasn’t about All For One. 

“I can’t face them. Not after everything I did.” 

Rage flared in Spinner’s chest at the implication that any of yesterday’s events had been Tomura’s fault, but he clamped down on it. Now was not the time to let that anger out. 

“They don’t blame you. None of them.”  

“They should. Toga’s just a kid. She didn’t– She shouldn’t have had to see any of that. And Dabi–” A full body shudder cut him off. Spinner fought the urge to pull him tighter against his chest. The last thing he wanted to do was make Tomura feel trapped. 

“Toga’s going to be okay. She’s resilient. You didn’t break her. And Dabi… he understands.” He had to. He just had to. Spinner wouldn’t let anything else be true. 

Tomura didn’t respond for a long time. He just lay there limp against Spinner’s chest and let himself be held. Spinner just hoped it was as comforting for Tomura as it was for him. When he did finally move, it was to push himself to his feet. He wouldn’t look at Spinner as he spoke. Instead, focusing his eyes on the remnants of the door. 

“I will not be made to feel weak by my subordinates. I will not allow disrespect from those below me.” He spoke like he was reading from a script, and Spinner shuddered to think where it might have come from. But before Spinner could say anything to try to convince him that no one was looking down on him, Tomura had squared his shoulders and shoved what was left of the door open.  

Spinner scrambled to his feet to follow after Tomura, refusing to let him face the others alone. Tomura didn’t acknowledge his presence behind him, even when he reached the door to the makeshift living room. Spinner could hear the others talking quietly on the other side, but he couldn’t make out what any of them were saying. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but he realized there was nothing to say. There were no words that would be able to convince Tomura of the loyalty the league had to him. No words that would convince him that they cared for him. The only thing that could possibly begin to do that was actions. So Spinner stood back and watched as Tomura squared his shoulder and held his head up high before stepping into the room. 

The silence was deafening. Any conversations the rest of the league had been having stopped the second the door began to creak open. Spinner could feel the eyes of all 5 of the remaining members of the league, and even knowing their gazes weren’t pointed at him, he couldn’t help but shrink back. Tomura had no such issue. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get a word out, Toga had detangled herself from her spot between Twice and Magne to launch herself at Tomura. She collided with him with so much force that Spinner had to jump out of the way to keep the two of them from crashing into him. Even before her arms had fully connected around Tomura, she was already talking. 

“I’m so sorry.” She cried, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted us to have a good time, and then it was my idea that we all take that picture, and you were so scared, and I didn’t know what to do, and I made everything worse. I’m so sorry, Tomura. It was all my fault, and I’m so so sorry.” By the time she was done talking, tears were running down her cheeks in rivers. 

For a moment, Tomura didn’t respond, and Spinner couldn’t breathe. If he broke down in front of the league now, Spinner didn’t know what he’d do. He knew Tomura would never hurt them. He knew he cared for the league so much more than he could ever find the words to tell them. He showed them through every little thing he did for them, but in that moment, all Spinner could think about were the ruins of their room that had been the consequences of him grabbing Tomura too suddenly. He just hoped he wasn’t about to watch Toga succumb to the same fate. 

The whole room seemed to hold its breath as Tomura slowly reached up to wrap his arms around Toga. He awkwardly patted her back in what looked like an awkward attempt to recreate what Spinner had done for him. As imperfect as it was, it seemed to be enough. 

Toga wailed, a mix of relief and sorrow that brought her to her knees. Tomura allowed himself to be dragged down to the floor with her. The mouthpiece of her support item seemed to dig into Tomura’s shoulder as she somehow clung to him even tighter. It was the first time Spinner even noticed she was wearing it. 

When he looked back at the rest of the league, he saw they were all wearing their costumes. The looks on their faces ranged from relief to grim determination. Tomura seemed to notice the state of the league at the same time he did, his brows furrowing as he took in the sight of everyone prepped and ready for war. 

“What are you guys doing?” His words were rough from tears, but his voice didn’t waver. 

It was Dabi who spoke up first, “We’re going to Tartarus.” 

“Why?” Tomura asked, finally pulling himself away from Toga. She sat back on her heels, not fully letting go of him, but giving him enough space to look over at Dabi. It was the first time he’d looked at him since he’d entered the room. 

“Because we’re going to break into that hellhole.” Dabi stood as he spoke. “We’re going to find that bastard, and then we’re going to rip him to shreds.” 

Dabi stalked over to where Tomura sat, still absently patting Toga's back. His movements perfectly coordinated to match his usual swagger, yet lacking any of the confidence he wore like armor. He didn't say anything, just held Tomura's eye for a long moment. Spinner wasn't sure exactly what was communicated during their stare down, but all at once Dabi nodded, a quick jerk of his chin, and then turned away. 

Something in the exchange seemed to lift a weight from Tomura’s shoulders. He took a breath and looked over at the rest of the league. Whatever they saw in his eyes seemed to be enough to break the spell keeping them still. 

As the others moved to his side, Spinner could see Tomura fighting not to shrink away from their presence. But whatever silent moment had passed between him and Dabi seemed to have provided him the extra stability he needed. Spinner just hoped it would last. Maybe together the league could help him shoulder this burden. Maybe they could convince him that he didn't need to be alone.

The leather of Dabi’s coat creaked slightly as he started to check his gear in the way he always did before a mission. The sound caught Tomura's attention. Despite whatever silent agreement the two of them had come to, Tomura still looked like he wanted to argue. 

Spinner knew there was no point. It seemed Tomura realized it, too. Nothing he said could change their minds once they had already decided. And they clearly had.

Magne was the next to speak. Her face was red and puffy, as if she had spent most of the night before crying, but her eyes were steely. 

“The league has always looked out for our own. You’d do the same for any of us.” 

“Let us help you in this endeavor.” The mask on Crompress’s face hid any emotion, and his voice gave away very little, but the lack of theater references spoke louder than any words he could say. 

“Can’t say I’ll lose sleep from lighting a fucking child molester on fire. C’mon boss. It’ll be a bonding exercise.” Dabi said, a little bit of his usual smirk finding its way back onto his face. 

Twice stood slightly behind the other two. Even through the mask, Spinner could tell he was biting his lip to keep from speaking. Even still, he nodded along to what the other two were saying so enthusiastically, Spinner wondered if he’d break his neck. 

“We love you Tomura,” Toga said, finally having calmed down enough to speak again. “We want to help you like you always help us.” She said, looking up at him from where she had shifted. She had moved so that he would have a little more freedom, but she was still clinging to his arm like if she let go, he would disappear entirely. 

“See. The league protects its own.” Spinner said, not bothering to keep the smile from his voice as he moved to place a hand on Tomura’s. This time, he didn’t flinch away. Instead, he looked up Spinner. The look of confusion on his face morphed into a smile that matched Spinner’s own. 

“C’mon Bossman. You in or not?” Dabi asked, reaching out a hand. For a moment, Tomura just looked at it, then his face stretched into the manic grin Spinner recognized from months of fighting side by side with him. 

“Yeah.” He said, taking Dabi’s hand and allowing himself to be hoisted to his feet. “Let’s kill the bastard.”